Chapter 19 #3
Torin sat back in his chair, thinking. “Painful and lonely doesn’t adequately describe that time. But perhaps everything worked out for the best. Your rebuking might have ruined your relationship with the Maynards, and you would not have married Esther and become a missionary.”
“You’re probably right that my powers of persuasion wouldn’t have been enough to turn the tide.”
Torin huffed. “Not against my family.”
“But my marriage with Esther…lacked harmony. It was never my plan to become a missionary. I was to return here to minister with my father. But Esther had the bit between her teeth.”
Torin felt a flicker of amusement at Joshua’s phraseology. ‘Lacked harmony’ sounded ministerial. ‘Bit between her teeth’ made Esther sound like a horse out of control. In recalling the young woman, he figured there was some truth to the man’s analogy.
“If Micah and I hadn’t been traveling on the train at the same time as Andre and Delia Bellaire, we might never have met my dear wife and her father.
Never had my baby daughter. And my son…well, Micah has been the greatest blessing.
” His smile softened his austere features.
“At eleven years of age, he’s quite a scamp. ”
He sounds proud, rather than critical. Seems Reverend Joshua Norton might have a sense of humor, something Torin didn’t think ministers possessed.
Or so he recalled when Abner Maynard or one of his seminary students preached.
He had a faint memory of Joshua, young and earnest, being one of them.
He couldn’t recall the sermon text or topic, but the young preacher had used some stories of Sweetwater Springs to make his points.
“The Bellaires have taken my son to heart. Andre is the most indulgent grandfather, and Delia is a far more nurturing mother than Esther ever was.”
Is the minister actually conveying some bitterness about his first wife?
His question must have shown on his face, for Joshua gave a little shake of his head. “Forgive me. I should not have spoken so. It’s just with you knowing the Maynards….”
“Life’s twists and turns.” Torin settled deeper into the chair. “I chose to move to Sweetwater Springs because of you. Your sermons and those few private conversations we had.”
Joshua’s stern expression lightened.
“I don’t regret moving here.” Torin gestured to indicate the area. “Early on, I missed my family. But after long years of no contact, that feeling faded. I can’t imagine not having my friendships with Hank and Brian. They’re my brothers.”
“The Lord’s plan for our lives can certainly unfold in mysterious ways.”
Torin wanted to huff again, considering the words “The Lord” and “mysterious” were usually combined with “wonders,” as in the quote, ‘The Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform.’ Torin didn’t think anything about his life was wondrous.
Then he reconsidered. Jewel is.
“I know you’re struggling with how best to protect your daughter.”
Torin, who’d started to relax, tightened again. “You won’t understand.”
Joshua’s eyebrows rose. “I can try. No one makes it through life without suffering. So it does no good to compare. I could tell you about my unhappy marriage to Esther, about the problems I had with Micah when we first moved home and he was so upset about leaving his African friends, how I feel when God responds to my fervent prayers by answering ‘no.’ But I don’t think any of those stories would make you feel I understand what you’ve been through. ”
He supposed the minister was right.
“I’ve heard much of your daughter. Jewel’s a great favorite of all who’ve been privileged to know her. I hope someday I’m included in that assembly.”
Torin appreciated that the man wasn’t pushing to meet Jewel now. Just speaking to a new person was hard enough, although it helped that he’d been acquainted with Joshua in the past. It also helped to know that the minister would have supported his choice to raise Jewel.
Joshua stood and picked up his hat. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll send a driver and vehicle for you two. If you choose not to avail yourself of the ride, he’ll just leave. If in the future you change your mind, send a note with Inga to let me know.”
“Joshua, uh, Reverend Norton—”
“There’s not many people who call me Joshua anymore. Aside from my family, everyone calls me Reverend Joshua to distinguish me from my father.”
“Better than being called Reverend Norton the Second,” Torin quipped.
“Definitely,” he smiled. “I’d like if you’d continue to call me Joshua.” He placed the hat on his head. “I will keep you and Jewel in my prayers. Furthermore, you two will always be welcome in our home.”
After thanking the man and seeing him to the door, Torin went to check on Jewel. But she still slept deeply between her rag doll and Brave. These past few days, she’d been napping longer than usual, maybe worn out by her distress at Ivy’s departure and his distraction.
Guilt weighed heavily on him. Her unhappiness now, or potential future wounds?
Back in the hall, he hesitated and pushed open the door to Ivy’s room. The space still carried the faint smell of roses, which gripped him in his chest. I became accustomed to her presence. The emptiness of his home wasn’t nearly as bad as the emptiness in his heart.
Torin tottered the few feet to the bed and sat, lowering his elbows to his knees and burying his face in his hands, swallowing down the grief and desolation that threatened to rise.
He’d prided himself on not needing anyone but Hank and Brian to get by. But he couldn’t deny the powerful emotions Ivy evoked in him and how her absence mattered. He sat up and let out a breath.
Along came a governess who’d worked her way under my skin so deeply, I’ll need half a dozen men and a mule train to pull her out.