Chapter 12
Atlee
Fucking Hell.
The goddamned world was against me.
I followed the ridiculous directions and then ended up in the traffic jam from hell and found drama in the driveway when I got home.
“Mother.” Nodding politely, I kept my tone formal as I got out of the car and shut the door. “Valerie.”
The erection I’d worked hard to maintain deflated completely as soon as I’d seen my mother’s car in front of my house. That just made me even more pissed and I had to fight to keep a blank face that wouldn’t inspire questions from either of them.
“Atlee.” Standing straighter, she frowned at me. “We need to talk.”
Great.
“What do you think we need to talk about?” It could be any number of idiotic things, so I wasn’t going to start randomly guessing. Giving her the impression that I cared would be the wrong message to send.
They both rolled their eyes in sync, making me wonder how the fuck I’d married a copy of my mother without realizing it.
“Your lawyer will not stop bugging Valerie.” Somehow my mother thought the problem would be obvious because her tone made it sound like I was a moron.
There was no way I could’ve guessed that was where they’d start, though.
“This is silly. You proved your point. Now stop putting on a show with all that pouting so we can finish planning the wedding. You won’t even talk to the coordinator. ”
Good fucking grief.
Mentally fortifying myself, I kept a neutral expression and tried not to sigh or think about how Casimir had sent me his last test results while teasing me about coming inside him.
“First. My lawyer will not stop bugging her as you’re calling it because Valerie keeps avoiding signing the final paperwork. ”
I could see the finish line but it felt like we were never going to get there.
“Second. I am not pouting. I’m ending my marriage because she cheated on me and ended up pregnant with another man’s child.” After saying she didn’t want kids. Repeatedly. “I also haven’t proven my point if you think this is a show.”
How did neither of them realize how serious this was?
“Third. I won’t talk to the wedding coordinator you hired because I’m not marrying Valerie again. No vow renewal. No second wedding because you think we’ve rekindled our relationship.” What in God’s name made them think this was salvageable? “I will not ignore the way she cheated on me.”
Or the way she’d treated me.
Or the way she’d ignored me.
And I wasn’t going to raise a cheater’s kid.
I wasn’t against adoption or a lot of ways kids could come into someone’s life, but I wasn’t going to raise her boyfriend’s kid because he wanted to hide it from his wife.
Picturing the way this would make Casimir roll his eyes had me almost smiling but staring at the crazy people in front of me kept it off my face.
“No matter how long you try to drag this out, I will not remain married to Valerie.” It would just take longer if she kept finding new ways to stall the proceedings.
Turning to Valerie, I ignored my mother’s dramatic sound effects. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing but you can’t make me stay married to you or to raise that child.”
She’d keep trying, though, I could see that on her face as she shook her head and looked at me like I was being ridiculous. “Still pouting.”
No, I wasn’t.
“I think you need to look up the definition of that word.” They didn’t seem to know what it meant. “If you keep harassing me, I’ll get a restraining order.”
And I’d start pressing the court to order some kind of mental evaluation because this was crossing into insanity.
They both blinked like the words didn’t compute.
Did they not understand how crazy this was?
“You’ve been telling people our divorce has been called off.
You’ve been lying to people about planning a wedding I won’t pay for or agree to be in.
You sent me an invoice to pay for the venue you picked out.
That’s fraud.” In some form or another. It had to be.
“Valerie keeps showing up when this is no longer where she lives.”
I thanked God every day that she’d stupidly wanted to keep our finances separate. When we’d first gotten married, she’d been on an independence kick because that’d been trendy online at the time. I’d just thought that was who she was and not who she’d been pretending to be.
“How did you grow up to be so dramatic?” My mother’s ridiculous response got a small smile from Valerie.
“Everyone has personality quirks.” She ran her hand down her belly, drawing deliberate attention to the baby growing there. “I can’t wait to see how they’re going to influence Atlee Junior.”
What?
No.
“I’m not related to that baby in any way, so I can’t influence him. That’s not how genetics work and I won’t be around to influence his personality either.” We weren’t living out a nature versus nurture debate.
I was going to have to call my lawyer.
Again.
How had we ended up here?
“And I will sue you if you try to name that child in a way that makes it sound like he’s mine.” There had to be a way I could stop that. “I might not be able to legally prevent you from doing it, but I can drag your name through the mud and make sure you end up on every social page in the country.”
And something finally got through to her.
As she sucked in a breath, I pointed to my mother’s car. “Leave. Both of you. If you ambush me again, I’ll call the police and have you removed.”
I wasn’t na?ve enough to think this was going to solve the problem, but I was hoping it would give me a break in the crazy to regroup.
Valerie did her best to frown at me like she was disappointed but the expression needed work. It looked even more manufactured when she attempted to add sadness to the mix as she glanced pointedly over at Casimir’s house. “When you’re through testing my loyalty, I’ll be here.”
Good fucking grief.
“You’ve got more than just a screw loose…the whole fucking box is rattling around.” They both puckered their lips like they were shocked and shook their heads. “Is that what you thought you were doing with the delivery kid and that dick that got you knocked up?”
I was done being polite.
“You were testing me?” For fuck’s sake. “I’m living my life since I’m getting divorced. I’m not testing anything but my fucking patience.”
Rolling their eyes, they looked like they both thought I was a toddler having a hissy fit. When I just waited for a response, they let out a few frustrated sound effects before turning and marching over to the expensive sedan.
I was beyond pissed but told myself at least they’d left without putting up much of a fight.
“They probably have an appointment about the wedding.” Scrubbing my hands over my face, I took a breath and let it out slowly. Regrouping was almost painful, mostly because they’d ruined my plans and my headspace. “I had everything perfect.”
I hadn’t been worried.
I’d been aroused and curious about what Casimir would do when I went over.
I’d even spent lunch filling out the last of the lists he’d sent me because he’d promised to have enough information at that point.
Air in.
Air out.
Thinking about my next steps drew a mental blank which I didn’t appreciate it in any way. I’d filled out the lists. I’d mentally found the right headspace. I’d even stayed hard on the drive home, which had not been easy.
But being able to check off items on my slightly strange mental to-do list wasn’t helping my current situation.
“They’ve lost their minds.” I should not have to get a restraining order because those two women were insane. “I need to—”
Casimir.
He stepped out on his front porch, wearing a long white button-down and some kind of tight black pants as he leaned against the doorframe. His smirk said he’d at least guessed how frustrated I was ,but he didn’t mind based on the way he crooked his finger at me.
“I’m not a puppy.” I followed him like one, though, and felt slightly silly by the time I’d crossed the street and tried to glare at him. “I’m not a puppy.”
His smirk said he didn’t mind my attitude. “You don’t want to know how many times I’ve thought about what a cute puppy you were.”
No. I really didn’t.
“I’m not cute.” I was, however, addicted to the dramatic man in front of me because I slowly stepped closer until he could grab my tie. “I’m frustrated.”
As he tugged me closer, he frowned sympathetically. “What did the idiots want now?”
The fact that he didn’t apologize for calling my mother an idiot was my favorite part about his question.
“They’re disappointed in me for letting my lawyer hound Valerie who’s been avoiding her calls.
Oh, and they want me to stop avoiding the wedding planner.
I’m also supposed to stop pouting and being dramatic because the baby needs a father. ”
Casimir went still before rolling his eyes. “Eventually they’ll learn that just because they say it over and over doesn’t make it true.”
“I hope so.” I also hoped they eventually realized I wasn’t going to back down. “Valerie’s excited to see how my delightful personality affects the baby.”
He froze again for just a split-second before sighing. “Clearly they don’t understand genetics either.”
“That’s what I said.” His smirk had some of my frustration fading. “They both have good degrees, so I think this is a case of mind over matter. They seem to think if they believe it then it’ll come true.”
His laugh had me fighting not to smile back. “Oh, you’re much more stubborn than they are, baby.”
“I’m stubborn but also pissed because they ruined my mood and my to-do list.” I ignored the way my grumpy, pissed-off-toddler-style complaints had him smiling even wider. “I sent you back the last list and you said we’d have a full scene as long as I followed the rules.”
If he didn’t stop smiling, I was going to find a whole new thing to complain about.
“You were very good and I’m proud of you.” He pulled me close enough that I was pressed against the front of his body and dropped his voice low as he brushed my lips in faint kiss. “You did everything I asked and even remained cool when faced with insanity. I think that deserves a reward.”
A reward?
“Our list says orgasms are my primary reward.” Casimir liked having things spelled out. Before…well, whatever we were doing…I’d have said I liked lists too, but he took planning to a confusing new level. “I responded to all the lists and I was hard right up until I got home.”
That smile was going to make me insane.
“Why are you grinning?” He was enjoying my frustration entirely too much.
“Because your ex didn’t make you hard but I did.
” His response probably should’ve been obvious but it left me kind of stupid.
Luckily for both of us, he always knew what to say.
“And you didn’t want to be around her but you nearly sprinted across the street to see me.
Oh, we’re not going to forget how hard you are already. ”
I was?
I was.
“You…” I didn’t even know what to say to that, so I just stopped and waited. From everything I’d read online silence wasn’t a bad response, and I knew the internet was right when his smile grew heated.
“That’s right. I’m going to take charge from here.” He mimed taking a deep breath but it was subtle because of our audience.
I couldn’t see them but yesterday one of the neighbors I’d never actually talked to cornered me by my mailbox and asked me if Casimir was my dealer.
Nope.
It was weird but I’d thoroughly enjoyed explaining that no he was just my boyfriend and was amazing in bed.
I still couldn’t decide how I felt about the question, but as I let out the breath he’d wanted me to take, he gave a faint nod.
Pleasing him mattered more than weird conversations, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.
“Very good. Now we’re going to step inside, and once we have privacy, I’ll give you more instructions. ”
Hopefully ones that would lead to an orgasm?
The internet agreed I shouldn’t ask about that, though, so I treated it like I was the junior member in a VIP meeting and stayed quiet. His eyes sparkled with mischief and something wicked, but he nodded and released my tie before smoothing it out. “You’re sexy like that.”
Suit porn was something I’d never run into until I’d started exploring the more interesting side of the internet, but I loved how just being properly dressed for work turned him on. “Thank you.”
He almost laughed but he let me step back and managed to keep his delight in check…
probably because some of our audience had gotten frustrated and were now peeking out their front doors.
Casimir just gave everyone a little wave before stepping into the house and jerking his head for me to follow like I was his little pup.
I wasn’t, but he still thought that joke was funny.
“Still not a puppy.” Not even the naked kind I’d seen on the internet. “Do you think her mic isn’t working?”
He laughed as he finally locked the door. “That’s the only thing I can come up with but I know that making sure I’m turned away from their houses is driving them both crazy. You have a really good blank face and evidently that’s driving them both to day drink.”
Now that I could believe.
“According to gossip from their husbands.” As I laughed, he shrugged. “They keep cornering me every time I leave the house.”
He knew everyone and everything that went on in the neighborhood.
“I’m not included in those discussions.” I wasn’t jealous of that but I was glad they all liked him and included him in the neighborhood chaos.
“Because they’re convinced you’d think it was silly.” As I stepped out of my shoes, Casimir took my hand and led me to the living room. “You’re considered the grown-up of the neighborhood and should be more worried about everyone’s 401ks and what day garbage pickup was moved to after a holiday.”
“That’s not complicated. There’s a chart on the utility website showing how the schedule shifts.
” I couldn’t understand for the life of me how that confused the entire neighborhood.
“They’re just too lazy to look it up, and of course 401ks are important, half the street isn’t even investing in theirs and Rich over at the end of the court in that godawful white house has one hundred percent matching he’s not taking advantage of. It’s a fucking crime.”
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t a fun person…or that he shouldn’t have painted his house that color.
A white house with mint green trim should not look that strange or stand out so much.
“You just keep getting sexier and sexier.” Casimir stopped in front of the couch and tugged me closer before releasing my hand. “At some point, I’m going to have you fuck me while I make you talk to me about investments and long-term planning.”
He really was just as insane as the rest of the street but it looked good on him.
Everything looked good on him…including that sexy smirk that said he was ready to do his best to get me out of my head.
Best neighbor ever.