36. Val
THIRTY-SIX
VAL
I worried my thumb as I stared at my computer screen, refreshing my email for the thousandth time.
Sending the email to Evan was stupid. He’d sent me messages for months, and I had ignored them.
At least to him. In reality, I held my breath as I opened my email each morning, hoping to see a new one from him.
The minute I finally sent my reply, he’d gone silent. Maybe he realized I wasn’t worth the work. Or maybe he needed something more from me, and my simple question in an email wasn’t enough. Only an idiot would hold out that long and not get frustrated and move on.
God, I hope Evan’s an idiot.
I refreshed my email again and let my heart sink. The empty, hollow feeling was consuming. I no longer had even that small connection with him. He was truly gone.
A knock sounded at my door, and I looked up. Agent Walsh stood in the doorway. “Got a minute?”
I stood and smiled, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Yes, sir.”
“There’s someone who would like to speak with you. ”
Agent Walsh moved aside. A man, broad shouldered in a black suit that looked more expensive than my car, stepped in and filled the doorway.
I’d know those shoulders anywhere. Evan stepped forward to stand in front of me.
He looked so different. His face was clean shaven.
Without scruff, his jaw was sharp, and my eyes trailed down the muscular cords of his neck before snapping back up.
His blue eyes, the most gorgeous mix of navy and sky, held mine.
“I’ll leave you two be for a moment.” I stood, unable to move, as Agent Walsh stepped around Evan and closed the door behind me with a snick.
Evan’s hands were in his pockets. It was easy to see how this gorgeous man could fit seamlessly into the Mafia. The suit molded to his body, and he wore it with confidence.
I finally found my voice. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve got a meeting with the prosecutor. Michael is being arraigned here in Chicago. She claims my testimony can help put him away for a long time.”
“And Parker?”
Evan’s eyes held mine, his jaw tight as he shook his head. “He’s still at the ranch. I won’t be testifying against him.”
My eyes widened, trying to read this stunning, complicated man. “You’re covering for him.”
“Things are far from good between us, but I’ve started to realize a few things.
He looked out for me all my life—we would have starved or been lost in the system if it weren’t for him.
Later, he worked the high-level jobs, wouldn’t let me in even when I showed interest. I thought he was freezing me out because he wanted the money and power for himself.
I let my resentment and anger prevent me from seeing what was really happening. ”
My voice dropped as I thought about the scared little boys who only had each other. “He was protecting his little brother.”
He nodded. “The less I knew, the better off I was—at least in his mind. When I thought he had ordered Gemma’s kidnapping, it broke the last thread of trust I had for him. When I made my deal for witness protection, handing over Parker was a part of the agreement.”
It made sense. But I knew the system—there was more. There had to be more. “Did you get my email?”
A small smile teased his mouth. “I did. It was nice to see you got mine.”
My heart plummeted to my feet. I scrambled to find the words. To explain the warring emotions that kept me from reaching back out to him. Then I realized—he’s here. He came to Chicago, only days after I sent the email. That couldn’t have been a coincidence.
“You don’t need to be present to make amendments to your testimony.” I took one tiny step forward. Hope leaped in my chest as tears burned at the corner of my eyes. “Why are you in Chicago?”
“When you didn’t reply to my emails, I knew I’d blown it. But the minute I got your email, I started making plans to come to Chicago. Turns out I left something here.” He moved his hands from his pockets and swiped one hand over his face.
“What?”
“My light.”
In one swift move, he covered the distance between us.
His mouth crashed to mine. Evan wound his arms around my back and hauled me against his chest. His tongue swept against my bottom lip, and he moaned into my mouth.
I arched up, pressing myself into him. He kissed me like a man who needed oxygen and I was the only source.
Every regret, emotion, and shred of love I had for him, I poured into that kiss.
My hands gripped his arms as he pulled away. “Evan, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t breathe without you.”
He lowered his forehead to mine, surrounding my senses with his clean woodsmoke smell. “Come with me. Come home.”
I searched his face. “I ... I can’t. How could I do that? I have my life, my apartment, my job. I can’t just move to Montana.”
He straightened. His jaw set. “Then I’ll move back to Chicago.”
“You know you can’t do that. It’s not safe for you here.”
“Sure I can. Gemma is safe where she’s at. She’ll be protected there. I can move back. Be here with you. If you’ll have me.” I could see in his face he meant it. Evan would risk everything—his proximity to Gemma, the new life he was building, his safety––in order to be with me in Chicago.
But Evan would never be safe anywhere near Chicago.
Everyone in his former circle knew he had turned.
It would be a lifetime of looking over our shoulders and worrying that every phone call was someone calling to tell me he wouldn’t be coming home.
I paled at the thought. It wasn’t the life either of us wanted.
In Tipp, Evan had meaningful work, a community that accepted him with open arms, a family in Ma and Robbie and Gemma.
Tipp brought out the best in him, and I wouldn’t stand for anything less than the greatness he deserved.
“No,” I croaked. My voice was scratchy and dry. Tears pricked at my eyes as my heart thrummed in my chest.
Evan looked at me like I was the most precious thing in his world.
He brushed the hair away from my forehead as he held my head in his hands.
Sadness darkened his features. “You are the most exquisite woman I have ever known. Thank you for showing me I was worthy of your love.” He would accept my rejection if he thought that was what I truly wanted.
Evan turned from me, heaviness weighing down his broad shoulders, and I quietly laughed. This noble, infuriating man. I straightened my back. “I’m coming with you.”
His body stilled as though he was processing the words I had spoken.
“Evan Walker.” He turned his tortured eyes to meet mine. “Let’s go home.”
Special Agent Neil Walsh stared at me over his crossed arms. Once Evan and I had made out for an inappropriate amount of time against the door of my office and on top of my desk, we found him in a conference room. I locked hands with Evan, lacing my fingers with his, and announced my resignation.
“I do not accept.”
My mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.
Can he do that?
Evan tensed but squeezed my hand, and I took a steadying breath.
Before he could jump in, Agent Walsh continued: “Agent Rivera, you are smart, tenacious, and quick under pressure. Those are qualities you can’t teach someone.
They’re a part of who you are. That’s a tough thing to find—even harder to replace. ”
I steadied my shoulders. “I understand, sir. Unfortunately, I have also found something irreplaceable. No amount of work could ever replicate it.” My eyes flicked to Evan, but I had to get through this.
I couldn’t get emotional. “I joined the police force because I wanted to make a difference. I also hoped it would fill a hole in me, a sense of community and belonging that I’d been lacking.
When it did not, I assumed climbing the ranks and earning my position in the ATF would do it.
Unfortunately, while I enjoy the work we do, it has not.
The one place I have felt truly whole in my entire life has been in Tipp, Montana, with this man beside me.
I can’t explain it, and it hurts me to disappoint you, but this is the right decision for me. ”
He let out an exasperated breath. “I was afraid you’d say that.
” Agent Walsh moved to the phone, dialed, and murmured something into the receiver.
A minute later the conference room door opened, and Ma Brown strode in.
She had exchanged her jeans, boots, and flannel for a smart blazer and slacks.
Her hair was styled, and she even had on low heels.
I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her in a fierce embrace. “Ma.”
“We’ve missed you, honey.”
She pulled me to arm’s length, and I quickly recovered. “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m rumpling you. It’s just so good to see you. Are you here with Evan?” I looked between Agent Walsh, Evan, and Ma, not quite understanding what was going on here.
“As I’m sure you’ve heard, Evan was making a few amendments to his testimony. I escorted him here for the meeting.”
I nodded. When all was said and done, Ma was a federal marshal, and she would protect Evan during the trip back to his hometown. The trip he didn’t really need to make .
For me .
“I think I’ve got a solution for you,” Ma said.
My eyes leaped to Ma’s, hope blooming in my chest.
“I agree with Agent Walsh,” Ma continued, “you are far too talented to quit law enforcement. Have you ever given any thought to marshal service?”
Evan stepped forward, gripping my hand in his. I held it fiercely. “You mean, back in Montana?” I said.
“Yes. You did great work out on the ranch, and I don’t just mean shoveling cow shit.
When it came down to it, you trusted your instincts.
It was the right call. If you want it, you have a job, as a marshal, protecting those who come to stay at the ranch.
People who are in search of a second chance—redemption.
” She paused to smile at me. “Come home, dear.”
“Yes! Yes, I accept!” My eyes flew to Agent Walsh, and dread pooled in my stomach. “That is, if Agent Walsh accepts my resignation and allows me out of my current contract.”
Ma held one hand on her hip and pinned him with a glare. Special Agent Walsh stepped forward, his hand outstretched to Ma. “I was afraid you’d steal her from me, but I never could say no to you, Dorothea. You owe me.”
She smiled, her kind eyes crinkling at the corners. “That I do, Neil. Thank you.” She turned to us, looking at Evan. “We leave in ten minutes. Val, once your affairs are in order, we’ll fly you home.”
Home.
I turned to Evan, his strong arms holding me close to his body, his fresh woodsmoke smell consuming me. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I know, baby. But it’ll only be a short while. You’ll be back in my arms in no time.” I squeezed him harder, burying my face in his chest. Evan reached into his pocket. “I have something for you. Something to keep you company until you’re back in Montana.”
He reached out his hand. In the center of his palm was a delicate necklace. The base of the chain held a geode, cracked open, the crystal center shimmering under the fluorescent lighting of the office.
“Evan. It’s breathtaking.” I held it in my hand and let it twirl at the end of the chain.
“I went back to that booth at the farmers market every week, looking for the perfect one. The crystals in this one match your eyes. I knew it was the one when I saw it.” His large hands framed my face.
“Just like I knew you were the one. It’s something I felt in my bones the minute I laid eyes on you at the ranch. I love you.”
I was lost. Lost in his eyes, in him . This man was everything. “I love you too.”