8. Chapter Eight #2
Calder huffed a laugh. “No, not unless it’s an emergency. But to answer your question, in addition to their natural shift and their partial shift, mythical shifters have what we call an animal shift. We can appear as a more innocuous shifter if we wish.”
Adam looked stunned. “What? Really? A whole other animal?”
Calder tipped his head back and forth. “Well, a species of the same. I don’t shift into a fox.”
A smile appeared on Adam’s lips. “No, that wouldn’t suit you at all. Not enough arms. So you’re a much smaller squid?”
He nodded. “In these waters, I most often appear as a larger-than-average market squid. But much like a squid can blend in with their surroundings, I can change my appearance to any type of squid I wish.”
“That’s amazing,” Adam said, eyes wide and bright.
Calder smiled. “It’s certainly come in handy over the years. I’ve traveled a lot over the centuries.”
“Oh,” Adam said. Calder wasn’t sure what he’d said wrong until Adam asked, “Are you… thinking about moving?”
Calder reached over the containers of food to squeeze Adam’s hand. “No, not at all. One of the primary reasons I moved was to try a new location to see if my mate was there. Having found him, there is nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Adam flushed a rosy pink, and his, “Oh,” this time was abashed and pleased. “You’re really sure that I’m your mate? Like, you were looking for me?”
“I absolutely was, sweetheart,” Calder agreed. “Over the centuries, witches and shifters seem to have lost the connection that lets them feel that tug to their mates. But I’ve always been aware that possible connection is out there. I let the Magic guide me until I ended up here with you.”
“Wow,” Adam said. “That’s kind of a lot.”
Calder wasn’t totally sure how he was taking this, and he hastened to clarify, “It’s not a compulsion. It’s a strong possibility, and we have to figure out what we want to do about it.”
Slowly, Adam nodded. “So I could have stayed stubborn and wrong and rejected the bond?”
Thankfully, he didn’t sound like this was something he wanted, and Calder could continue to breathe.
“Exactly. That’s obviously not the outcome I desired, and I would probably have tried to change your mind.
But you still have free will to choose the path you want.
And as you saw, being fated mates doesn’t mean that we suddenly get everything right or have no misunderstandings or arguments.
It’s just the Magic nudging us towards someone who could be an excellent match for us. ”
Adam looked contemplative now. “Does that mean that if you hadn’t met me, you would have met someone else?”
“I’m not sure,” Calder confessed. “I’ve always felt like I’ve been waiting for the right person, but does that mean you’re the only person ever who could be right for me?
Or is this simply the first time that I’ve actually been in the right place at the right time?
” He shrugged. “I’m told the pull tends to be stronger even for regular shifters than for witches.
Maybe they’re still a little more in touch with their instincts.
But I haven’t talked about mates in quite a while. Many don’t believe in them anymore.”
Slowly, Adam nodded. “Yeah, not to get too unromantic about it, but it feels like shifter familiar bonds are more about the benefits witches get than anything else these days.” He made a face.
“I think that’s part of why my dad was so bitter.
He was left feeling like he wasn’t enough, not just as a husband but as a species, like there was something inherently lacking in him that Mom found with her shifter familiar husband.
Are you saying that was meant to be? That they were fated? ”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Calder was relieved to be able to report.
He knew this was still a wound for Adam, and he didn’t want to make it worse.
“I don’t believe that every shifter and witch pairing is a fated one.
I don’t think shifters and witches listen to the Magic well enough for that.
And I believe that fated mates don’t have to be shifters and witches, either.
I think your parents probably weren’t fated because they didn’t stay together, but that’s also my assumption based on what you’ve told me long after the fact.
I don’t think your mother’s new bond is fated, either, but if I’m being perfectly honest, that’s in large part due to how unhappy it made you.
I can’t imagine anything being fated to make you unhappy. ”
Adam smiled at him and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “You’re very sweet.”
Calder grinned. “I’ll have you know that I’m the terror of the seven seas.”
Adam’s smile grew broader. “I can see that, actually. You certainly looked shocking and majestic and awesome today.”
Calder practically puffed up with pride. All his tentacles wanted to come out to play, and Calder carefully reined himself in. Tentacles were not needed to eat this kind of dinner.
Still sounding a little shy, Adam asked, “Can I see you in your squid form? Your little one, I mean.”
“Of course,” Calder agreed immediately, delighted by the request. “But we’ll need to save that for a day we can get to the ocean, since squid need saltwater.”
“Oh, of course!”
Adam looked like he’d been envisioning Calder swimming in his bathtub.
“As a shifter, I could survive it,” Calder clarified. “But I would be more comfortable in saltwater.”
“I definitely want you to be comfortable!” Adam said hurriedly. “You don’t have to show me!”
“I’d be so happy to show you,” Calder assured him. He smiled. “Fortunately, you live quite close to the ocean. We’ll definitely be able to manage an outing.”
Adam relaxed again and started eating once more. “True. Knew there was a reason I wanted to be near the coast.”
This was the first time that Adam had referenced any aspect of his life like he also believed their connection could be fated. It warmed Calder to his toes (and the tip of every arm and tentacle).
They ate for a few more minutes, and then Calder cleared his throat. “I’m sorry that you keep being surprised by my shifts. Although I did hide it from you in the beginning, it was always my hope that picking the time and place of the revelation would make everything easier for you, not harder.”
Shaking his head, Adam said gently, “You’ve been reacting to people in danger. I can’t ever blame you for that. And we both know I didn’t react very well before, but that’s not your fault. If I hadn’t been so resistant, you’d probably have told me everything to begin with. But we’re okay now.”
Calder smiled at him and hoped he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. “I’m glad. But… there are probably a few more things I should tell you.”
Adam sat abruptly straighter, his eyes going wide. “There’s more?”
Calder held up his hands. “You know everything about my shifter forms—or at least as much as can be shared in a short conversation. But there are, uh, some things that I think it only fair I share about the bond.”
Adam’s cheeks went pink, and Calder realized that hadn’t been the way to bring up the topic. He groaned. “I’m saying this all wrong. I’ve never done this before.”
Surprisingly, that made Adam relax again. “I’ve never been very good at relationships. But you’re right. Communication is important.”
Calder nodded. “Yes, exactly. What I was trying to say was that I hope that at some point in the future, you’ll agree to bond with me.
It’s not a deal-breaker!” he hastened to add, though it was way more complicated than that.
“Just being with you is amazing, and I know you have some feelings to work through about bonding.”
Adam shook his head. “I can’t keep dragging around what happened to my mom and my aunts. That’s not fair.”
“But those feelings also aren’t going to disappear in a heartbeat, and I understand that,” Calder argued softly.
“I’d like you to be informed, but you don’t need to make any decisions right away.
This isn’t meant to pressure you, just to allow you to make a fully consenting decision eventually, alright? ”
Adam considered him for a long moment, and then said, “Yeah, alright. That makes sense.” He sighed. “I’ve, uh, kind of focused on the negative aspects of the bond most of my life, which is hardly fair. I should be better informed.”
Carefully, Calder explained, “A bond with a mythical shifter isn’t the same as a bond with a shifter. There are many similarities, of course. But there are also a number of differences.”