9. Chapter 8 Rhianelle
Chapter 8 Rhianelle
T he stars have come out to play in the night sky by the time we return to Windhaven. Their bright sparkle and streak look as magical as the day feels to me. We have to return to the keep as soon as possible. The guards have begun locking the city gates as the night settles. No one will be able to go about freely after curfew.
I’ve always loved riding. But today feels even more special because it’s with him.
I take a step closer towards Svenn, my arm nearly brushing against his. The bond coaxes me to hold his hand. I tell it to stop asking me to do to stupid things.
Svenn delivers our Noctrals to the stable master, thanking the elderly male. I trail silently behind him as we head to our tower.
“What have you done to my wife?” That growl he made earlier in the forest was unlike anything I’ve ever heard before.
The silly thing in my chest skips a beat at the mere memory of it.
Nope.
I’m not going to let him charm his way into my heart again.
Walls of bricks, not of straw.
I nearly trip when Svenn suddenly halts in his tracks. He leans in close to my ear. “You go on ahead. I’ll be back soon,” he murmurs.
As a small prey in the forest of Astefar, I am attuned to the murderous intent of the predators around me. I felt the same bestial rage emanating from Svenn when he was staring at the retreating Grimsbane in the fae woods earlier.
He’s giving out the same energy right now. I watch the turbulent storm in his eyes, the intent behind them. He’s going to go after Carver.
I can’t let him do that.
“Svenn,” I call his name before he leaves.
His intense gaze slides to me and my heart nearly stops.
This is a long shot, but it’s worth a try.
“That—that thing you did to my spine the other night, can you do it again?” I don’t recognize the trembling voice coming from my throat. “My legs are sore.”
I hate using my stupid, maimed ankle as an excuse, but I just know that if he leaves now, someone loses their life.
My pride can take it.
Of course, it’s a foolish request. He doesn’t have to do anything for me.
Svenn’s glacial expression slowly cracks. Two breaths pass before he finally says, “Of course, Nel.”
I barely get to release a breath of relief when he suddenly scoops me into his arms. “Wait… what is this? Put me down.”
“I thought you said your legs hurt.”
“Yes, but I can still walk!” I push against his chest. His muscles seem to be carved out of stone.
“You will let me carry you.” His voice is slightly rough around the edges. “Or there’s an easier way we can do this.”
I pause when I see that spark in his eyes.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn him.
He’s going to hoist me over his shoulder the way he did in the forbidden forest. Lord Wesley’s guards will not take it too kindly if they see that. I don’t want my knights or anyone to intervene and lose their life.
I cease struggling.
We move from the courtyard, to the kitchen, to the hallways. Embarrassment rushes to my head and I lift my hands to cover my face. “Svenn, people are staring.”
A slow smirk lifts the corner of his lips. “Let them. We’re husband and wife.”
That’s right… We are technically newlyweds.
Heat scorches my cheeks when I am reminded that this is the way grooms carry their brides. But I don’t protest when he secures me closer into his broad chest. He smells like the fresh ocean breeze back home. I let myself drown in his intoxicating scent and warmth. Just like that, I am ensnared like a helpless fly caught in a spider’s web.
The moment we reach our room, I wrestle against him like a hellcat. He plants my feet carefully on the floor and I shoot straight towards the bath chamber without looking back.
I shut the door, heave a breath, and turn on the lever for hot water. Once the malachite crystal tub is filled to the brim, I strip off my clothes and slide inside. The warm bath feels like heaven after a long day.
I lean back against the tub to calm myself and let my thoughts drift. If the assassin is smart, he should skip town while he still can. I take a long bath to waste as much time as possible. Maybe Svenn won’t go looking for the Grimsbane if it gets too late. Then again, he might get tired of waiting and simply leave right now.
He has no obligation to stay.
I might be imagining it, but there’s a certain affection in the way he looks at me lately. Just the mere memory of our time in the cavern has me flushing. Being in his arms made me forget all the horrors and worries in my mind.
For a moment back then, I think he wanted to kiss me.
Worse.
I had wanted him to kiss me. I still do.
So badly.
I don’t know whether I’m disappointed or relieved at the interruption. The phantom brush of his lips lingers on my wrist. His bite had hurt at first, but right after that a blissful sensation took over. I poke at the invisible spot and a wicked thrill floods my veins.
It feels sensitive, numb, and… good.
I press my lips there and I swear it sends a pulse straight down between my thighs. My hand reaches down to soothe the ache I feel below. I close my eyes and clamp my mouth on to my wrist.
In my mind, it is Svenn that I’m kissing, it is him toying with me with his fingers and his tongue.
My back arches to take me over the edge.
“Svenn…” I let out a soft muffled cry.
The door suddenly burst open.
I open my eyes to find Svenn standing in the bath chamber with a single eyebrow raised. My mutinous heart leaps at his presence.
“Do you mind?” He clears his throat and jerks his head to the side.
I don’t look at the direction he meant because the shock of his presence alone paralyzes me. My brain freezes and I can’t form a reply.
He somehow takes my muteness as a sign of acceptance. A quick work of his breeches and Svenn is laid bare in all his glory in front of me. He goes straight for the shower, half across the bathroom from my tub.
Svenn twists the handle and hot steaming water sprays from the three showerheads above him. The sound of the water hitting the marbled tiles wakes me from my trance.
Oh no. What have I done?
Did he see what I was doing? I really don’t want him to know I’m still desperate for him.
I wait for him to say something, anything but he says nothing. Svenn has his back on me in the shower stall so I can’t really tell what he’s thinking either.
Maybe he didn’t see me after all.
Now that he is here, I glance back at him and allow myself to take in the view before me.
Water trickles from the sleek, coiled muscle of his back down to his calves in rivulets. I’m fascinated and tempted to trace their pathway with my fingers. That is a warrior’s body honed to perfection, with the scars to prove it.
In my dreams, that is all mine. He is all mine.
It doesn’t feel right to be stalking him like this. I will myself to look away, but I can’t.
Svenn’s broad back shifts slightly to the side and my eyes wander downward to the full length of him. It’s just as long and thick as I remember on our wedding night. He takes it in his fist and gives it a rough stroke.
I don’t know why that looks so arousing. My hand moves spontaneously to—
I glance up to find a pair of crimson eyes staring back at me.
My mouth goes dry when he turns off the shower.
Heavens help me. Un. Anyone. Save me.
I should look away.
But I don’t. I keep gazing straight ahead like a trapped deer.
He dries his hair with the towel and approaches me with deliberate steps. I slowly slide lower into the bathtub as if the act can save me from the incoming danger.
His gaze dips to mine and I still don’t break eye contact.
What am I doing?
I know I’m in the wrong, so I heave a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.” His reply is sharp, snapping me out of my daze. He runs a hand through his hair, raking it back. “Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”
“I do mean it!”
“Then perhaps it would be a good idea to shift your eyes away from my cock.”
My cheeks flame. I will never admit it to Svenn, but I was—am staring.
“You can touch if you’d like. I’ll allow it.” He sighs as if he’s doing me a favor.
I resist the urge to throw the sponge to his head.
He casts one last heated glance before shaking his head and heading out of the bath-chamber. I think I saw the hint of a smirk.
My face starts to heat up with embarrassment again and I contemplate making the bathtub my new home. Eventually, I get out to dry my hair with the Tluryan elves heating rod. I linger long behind the dressing curtain, not ready to face him.
The lace nightgown Blaire gave me last year calls to me from the dresser.
This could be my revenge…
If he doesn’t play fair, then I won’t either.
The white material is spun from the softest and rarest fae silkworm. It had taken my friend every silver in her savings to buy me this gift. I didn’t want to accept something so expensive after all her hard work. But Blaire’s wrath is not worth invoking, so I took it.
I slide into it in an instant and glance at myself in the mirror. I fight the smile on my face, loving the way the material of the fabric clings to my skin, defining my curves.
My mind pulls me back to the time when I tried to make Arawynn as my Prime God so I could stay in the same teaching as Blaire. The Head Priestess took one look at me and rejected my admission immediately. I hardly remember the details afterwards because Blaire threw her slipper to the lady’s head and almost got expelled herself. But her words remain clear in my head to this day.
‘You simply do not have the body type that fits our requirement.’
The Head Priestess didn’t mean to be harsh. It was just simple fact. The Goddess of Love only receives the fairest and the purest. I’ve matured enough to understand that just because I’m terrible at one thing, doesn’t mean I’ll be bad at everything else.
But the first few years after the words were spoken were hard on me. It had morphed into something cruel, a monster that feasted on my confidence whenever it had the chance.
You are not good enough.
My heart deflates a little at the memory. All of a sudden, my payback seems silly to me now.
I meant to tease Svenn, but I am suddenly hit with a wave of self-consciousness.
“Nel, are you still there?” he calls to me from behind the curtain. His voice is dark, as if pulled from the night itself.
I start to panic.
I’m doing this to save someone. Every life is precious. I take a deep, slow breath and walk out into the room. My gaze immediately locks with the man seated on the bed but only for a brief moment.
Svenn leans back, his eyes skating over me from head to toe. He pauses a beat too long on my chest and his slow perusal becomes almost painful. I watch the muscles in his jaw tic as he grinds his teeth.
I can’t quite catch my breath at the way he’s staring at me. He looks like he’s fighting with himself about whether to devour me from where I stand. It’s clear now he desires me. For some unfathomable reason.
His hand moves to his breeches, adjusting himself.
Heavens above. He’s not even hiding it. Now I have to pretend I didn’t see that. I feel like this stupid plan backfired on me.
“This is just a massage,” I say awkwardly, daring to breathe again. “Like last time.”
He grins, fully aware of the effect he has on me. “If that is what you want.”
“It is.”
“You can always change your mind if you need something more,” he replies, a gentle smile playing on his lips.
“I won’t.”
Walls of bricks, not of straw.
“I think you will change your mind.”
“I will not,” I say a little more firmly.
Svenn rummages under my pillow, searching for something. “What are you looking for?” I ask him.
“The flowery scented salve you always put on your ankles,” he mutters.
He noticed? Something pricks in my chest over that small detail.
I have a heart to protect, I remind myself again and again.
Walls of bricks, not of straw.
“I ran out of it days ago,” I tell him. Rainer is not well yet to contact his faerie supplier. I pass him a bottle of moisturizing lotion I got from Tallula.
“Now, on your hands and knees.” Svenn doesn’t even breathe differently when he says those words.
I feel like I’m trapped in some kind of enchanting spell because I do exactly as he says. My legs tremble as I climb over the mattress.
A small eternity passes and neither of us says a word.
The longer the silence, the faster my pulse pounds against my throat. What more does he want? I am already on all fours. I feel the mattress dipping with his shifted weight and realize Svenn must be right behind me.
“Lay down.”
A small inaudible ‘What?’ escapes from my lips.
My heart stutters in my chest but I do as I am told. There’s a sense of authority in his voice that makes me obey each instruction he delivers.
Then he starts kneading the tight muscle on my shoulder. A wave of goosebumps scatters upon my skin at the touch. I did not think this through.
“Calm down for me, Nel,” he mutters quietly. “Let me take care of you.”
His hands travel the length of my back, learning my curves and figure. My breathing becomes unsteady no matter how I try to control it. There is nothing sensual in this massage, but I still feel the thrill deep in my belly. I’m suddenly filled with the need and longing for him.
“Where does it hurt?” His voice drifts in the darkness.
“Hmmm?” It’s hard for me to focus with his fingers roaming over my body.
He smooths a hand down the groove of my spine slowly, methodically. I briefly close my eyes against the sensation. The thrill has me arching against him in a silent demand. I bite the bedsheet to fight against the ache pulsing between my legs. This isn’t enough.
More.
I need more please.
His hand roves lower and I suddenly remember the licentious dreams I have about him. That spot on my tailbone is where he holds me when he guides me into his length until I—a flurry of shivers goes through my body involuntarily.
“Svenn!” I cry out, scrambling to sit upright as if the bed itself had caught fire. I get up so fast that blood rushes to my head, making me dizzy.
My eyes slowly focus to find him staring at me with one eyebrow quirked. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, still at a loss for words. Silence falls in the room as I catch my breath.
He tilts his head, studying me in the stillness. “Did you change your mind?”
“No!” I burst out quickly. I take a moment to gather my thoughts and breath.
“I have a headache,” I finally say.
Svenn gazes at me in contemplation.
He then shifts and leans his back against the headboard.
“Come. I’ll help you get rid of it,” he says, pulling a pillow to his lap. He taps on it in invitation.
I remember the grooves on either side of his hips, the trail of fine hair leading to—It’s covered with the pillow now but still… I swallow my dry throat.
“You want me to lay my head there?” I ask.
“It will be all right, Nel,” he assures me. His voice is warm and inviting, as smooth as the sounds the carnivores in Astefar used to lure their victims.
I shouldn’t do this.
I really shouldn’t.
Yet somehow, I find myself slowly crawling towards him, dropping my body in between his legs. I think we’re both surprised by how easy this is.
My self-preservation instinct is telling me that this is a terrible mistake. I have entered into a dangerous territory and caught the interest of this dangerous beast. Now I’m lying down in between his legs exposing my belly like a love-sick puppy. I pull the blanket over me to protect the tenderest part of my body.
I look up to find Svenn staring at me with an indulgent expression. I’ve never had someone who looks at me the way he does. He is entirely focussed on my eyes like the universe revolves around me now.
It’s terrifying. He doesn’t even blink.
I really haven’t learned my lesson from the bathroom earlier, because I stare right back.
But if this is a contest, then I intend to win.
And I know just how to do it.
I’ll win it the same way I surpassed the trial of Nimue of the lake back in Astefar. I kept complimenting her horns, her hair, her third eye, her long ears, until the shy goddess threw her hands to her face, embarrassed.
I’m going to try that with Svenn.
“What’s wrong, Nel?” His voice startles me, and I realize I’ve been staring at him without saying a single word.
“You’re nice to look at,” I barely breathe the answer.
An arrogant smirk makes its way to his lips. “Finally, some honesty.”
“You have beautiful eyes,” I begin my compliment.
“They’re just pitch black, Nel,” he dismisses.
“Sometimes they’re russet with flecks of gold,” I try.
His brows lift. “They do that in my hunger.”
All right… that’s not good.
“Your teeth are white and pretty.”
“You mean these?” His lips curl on one side and his tongue toys with his fangs.
I nod.
He sucks on a tooth, still gazing down on me. “You’re really are… odd.”
Svenn says that but I can tell my trick is working because I think he just blushed.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
Winning.
“Nothing.” I shrug.
He gives another one of those dark chuckles. “You weird, weird girl.”
And then the most amazing thing happens. He closes his eyes and smiles. Truly smiles. Not one of his smirks or crooked grins.
A smile. I don’t miss the way it creates wrinkles around his eyes.
I blink too.
Once, twice, just to be sure that I’m not dreaming this up. Svenn always seems so restrained, but now he is relaxed and at ease.
“Your hair is beautiful.” I try to coax that smile again. “I like that Ragnar shears it at the sides.”
It’s clearly the wrong compliment to give because his face turns blank.
“Thank you, Nel. But don’t ever mention another guy’s name on our bed ever again.” His voice is downright icy when he says that, but I can only focus on his words.
Our bed.
Though he never sleeps in it.
“You’re beautiful too, Rhianelle,” he suddenly says, smoothing my hair back.
All right… Now it’s my turn to blush.
This is a dangerous dance. I’m ready to go back to my safety now.
“I—I better go to sleep now. Goodbye,” I say, pulling away from him.
“Stay,” he orders.
“Well, let me get my earmuffs.” I wiggle myself to get up, but he doesn’t let me. My eyebrows furrow as I look up at him again. “I really do need them.”
“What for?” he asks.
“Nothing. It’s just a stupid superstition,” I say, biting my lip.
“Tell me anyway.”
There’s a brief pause as I look at him. Then I begin my story. “When I was young, my friend and I got lost deep in the forest. We were so hungry and we hadn’t eaten in… a while. One day, we stumbled upon a cottage made of candies and cookies. We know it’s wrong to eat people’s homes, so we gobbled on the gingerbread man on the kitchen table.”
I pause my rush of words because I miss Blaire. So much.
“We apologized to the old lady who owns that cottage. She agreed to forgive us if we worked for her for six hundred and sixty-six days.”
“What a terrible person… making a kid work,” Svenn curses under his breath. “Do you want me to kill her?”
“No… she’s good, Svenn. She let us eat scraps off her table. Anyway, on the last day of our service, my friend stumbled upon a grimoire. It was written there that witches often put the spirit of their enemy inside inanimate objects like the gingerbread man. If someone were to eat it, the malevolent spirit will search for that person and enter their body through the ear.”
Svenn stares at me blankly. “The gingerbread man’s spirit?”
I nod. “Like I said, it’s a superstition. The old woman was probably just messing with us by leaving that book around.”
Blaire and I are grown-ups now. We don’t really believe it will happen. But it doesn’t hurt to take precaution. So, I wear my earmuffs when I can.
Svenn’s hands move to each side of my head.
“What are you doing?”
“Covering your ear.”
Warmth spreads in my heart at the gesture.
“Nel?”
“Hmm?”
“Is this why you wanted to open a bakery? To give the gingerbread man his body back?”
I knew it. I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re making fun of me.”
“I’m not. I swear.” The roughness of his voice scrapes against my skin. “I apologize for what I said before about your dream.”
He gazes into my eyes like he can see into my soul. I feel bare and vulnerable without the pretense of my High Elf mask. It makes me want to hide. I close my eyes and turn my head to the side to snuggle on the pillow.
“Nel…” He tugs on my hair a little.
I force my eyes to open. The sorrow swimming in his eyes is way too familiar to look away from. I could get lost in those pitch-black irises and never find my way back.
It’s a strange sort of connection, it almost feels like we’re talking to each other with something beyond words.
“I promise to get rid of your headache.” He sinks his lean fingers into my freshly dried hair, soothing me with a scalp massage.
I didn’t think someone like him was capable of such tenderness. He pulls on my hair again but this time a whimper escapes my lips.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks.
“I don’t hate it,” I mutter.
Whatever it is we’re doing… feels oddly intimate. It’s both frightening and exhilarating at the same time.
I’m in so much trouble.
Walls of brick, not of straw… I remind myself.
But it’s been so long since I’ve felt any spark of joy.
Let me have this nice thing just for today.
“Can you stay for the night?” I ask uncertainly. I’m no longer trying to save the Grimbane’s life. This is for my own selfish need.
“I’ll stay with you, Nel.”
Little butterflies flutter and dance in my heart.
“But I know what you’re doing.” He narrows his eyes at me. That forbidding look is giving me the chills now.
“You’re trying to protect that assassin.”
Fear strikes my heart, cold and true the moment he says it.
I forgot I’m dealing with a Strigon. An immortal who lived for thousands of years. I swallow my dry throat. “We made a deal. Take my blood as much as you want, but you cannot harm the innocent.”
“The guy isn’t covered by our deal. He’s not an innocent.” His voice lowers, gaining an edge.
Tears prick my eyes. Svenn is like the fae with their tricks and clauses.
“Don’t worry, Nel. I’m not going to kill him tonight,” he says quickly.
The terror in my heart eases at his words. “Do you promise?”
He nods.
“My hands are pretty much occupied,” he says.
A smile tugs my lips when he strokes my hair again. Hope rekindles in my chest. “So, you’ll let him go?”
“I didn’t say that.”
And just like that my heart stammers and I’m scared again. “Why—why do you want to kill him?”
“You know that answer, Nel.” My heart hammers madly at his pause. “For you.”
“I don’t want you to kill him for me,” I say firmly.
“For me then,” he says with a careless shrug. He traces my lips with his thumb and my breath catches in my throat. “If it weren’t for his interruption… this would have been mine in the cavern.”
Why is he doing this to me? Maybe he thinks I’m fun to tease. Well, I’m not going to cower from him this time.
“You wanted me to kiss you,” he says, returning his wicked fingers to my scalp again.
“So why didn’t you?” I challenge.
“If I kiss you, I’ll never want to stop.”
My heart does a happy somersault in my chest, but I try not to let it show in my expression.
I’m not even sure I understand what is happening between us. This stupid fluttering in my chest makes it obvious.
Don’t tell me… I’m falling for him again.
Svenn has rejected me enough for several lifetimes. Why am I still pining for him? I’m handing my heart on a silver platter for him to stomp on and stab.
Walls of bricks, not straw… I remind myself.
“Close your eyes,” he whispers in the dark. “I’ll watch over you.”
He touches my ear with such an unexpected affection that tears almost prick my eyes. This is an echo of how he made me feel that night. Safe and protected.
Stop this, I want to tell him.
I don’t want to open myself to that pain again.
Walls of bricks, not of straw. I keep chanting in my head. But if he keeps being nice to me, I won’t be able to keep this up.
“Goodnight, Rhianelle.”
He makes my name sounds so delicious with that dark whisper. It feels like it belongs there on his lips. I hope it stays there forever.
I close my eyes and let the velvety drawl of his voice lull me to sleep. “Night… Svenn…”