15. Chapter 14 Rhianelle
Chapter 14 Rhianelle
I startle awake in a strange, unfamiliar room on an unfamiliar bed.
When did I change into this satin nightgown? I’m wearing nothing underneath, so someone must have done it for me. I have no recollection of how I got here.
My eyes scan the dim bedroom quickly. Black chandelier with candles the size of my arm hangs from the ceiling. A small table lies at the foot of the bed, with a water pitcher and a metallic food cover on top of it. The bedding I’m lying on is moth eaten but it’s clean. I push the heavy duvet from my lap and slip out of bed.
Nothing is more disorienting than waking up and hardly remembering anything from the night before.
I head straight for the large wooden door.
It’s locked…
I try to jam the handle again, fighting the fear cascading down my spine. There is no keyhole from this side and my blood chills at the possible meaning.
No, no, no.
I release a shaky breath and storm over to the lone curtained window next. Five metallic bars are embedded in the opening, crushing any hope of escape.
No… I shake my head and back away.
True horror sinks in the moment I glimpse the chains on each end of the bed. What kind of sadistic monsters live in this place?
I curl into myself at the dark corner of the room.
Tears sting my eyes, but I don’t cry yet.
Not yet.
Does Rainer and my knight know I’m here? If Svenn is here, he can easily break the metal bar on the window.
“Svenn!” I scream his name at the top of my lungs. “Help!”
A sharp pain flares through my chest when I suddenly recall what I tried to do to him.
Heavens above…
I had bitten him like a were-beaver.
After weeks of pretending and repressing my feelings, I caved in to the bond’s weird cravings and attacked him. How am I any different from the witches who abused him?
I feel dirty and disgusting. But he’s probably the only person who can save me right now.
“Svenn!” I scream again without shame. “Help!”
Even if he hates me, he’s still my husband. I know he will come for me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you… I didn’t mean…” My voice falters. “Svenn… I’m sorry! Please…”
It’s a cruel joke. I don’t even know his real name.
When I see him, the first thing I’m going to do is ask for his long name again and memorize it this time. The thought of coming home to him fills me with an overwhelming determination.
I touch the faded manacle mark on my ankle.
Yes, I’ve been through something worse before with Blaire.
I’m not going to wilt and die. I’m a survivor. And I’ll survive this.
I rise to my feet and scan the room again.
There’s food on the table.
I remove the metal covering next to the jug to find an innocent plate of roasted duck. The aroma of spice and cinnamon is enticing but it could be laced with some poisonous elixir. I pour myself a glass and sniff at the water before taking a sip.
It’s safe, Rhianelle, the Un tells me.
I drink at their assurance, but I don’t touch the food.
I imagine my captors will be here soon. Well, I’m not going down without a fight. They are foolish enough to leave me with a fork. I quickly hide the weapon in my pocket.
One of the first things to do when you’re caught in these situations is to familiarize yourself with the surroundings. There is a hint of salty scent in the air. I think I’m in some kind of building near the sea. If this place is anything like the lighthouses or war posts in V?lundr, it must have undergone some renovations after the war. I tap the wall with my knuckles trying to find a weakness in the structure.
Hope reignites in my heart at the dull sound. This area had to be newly repaired. I strike the wall once with the handle of the spoon.
Twice.
The tile cracks into spidering lines by the third hit.
Yes!
Thank the heavens. I brush the hot tears warming my face and begin digging with my spoon. It will take some time to create an escape route my size, but I won’t give up.
My ears prick at the heavy thuds. I pause for a moment, listening to sound of the incoming footsteps.
Someone’s coming.
A dozen attack plans scatter in my head. Maybe I should hide underneath the bed and wait for my captor to emerge. But what if there is more than one person? The confined space and restriction will do me no good. It’s better to be out in the open like this. I press my back to the cool wall, ready to lunge myself at whoever is behind that door.Maybe I’ll let them come to me then surprise them with a quick stab to the neck.
I stare at the door handle, waiting for it to turn.
The rusty metal hinges creak and I grip the fork in my pocket tighter.
The door flings open.
A man stands at the threshold, tall, handsome, dressed in all black leather and tunic… my husband.
Svenn!
I walk—run into his arms.
A relieved cry slips out of my throat when he wraps his hands around me. I melt into his embrace, relishing the comfort of his warmth and his scent.
“That was fast.” I’m so happy to be in his arms, I cry harder. “Thank you.”
He strokes my hair gently and I feel precious. I know this is just the bond’seffect on him. It doesn’t reflect what he truly feels about me, but who cares?
Svenn’s here. He’s here. He’s here. He’s here. Everything is all right.
He presses a kiss to my temple.
“How did I get here? We were just below the library—”
“That was yesterday…” he mutters hoarsely.
Yes, I remember him being so kind, tender, and gentle with me. The last thing I remember was him carrying me to bed.
But still, where are we?
His entire weight suddenly crashes down on me.
“Svenn…?” I gasp, suffocating under his massive body. I slowly drag us both to the bed, my feet staggering. We stumble onto the mattress unceremoniously. I let his body roll to the side to catch my breath.
After several beats, I shift to look at the man beside me. His eyes are shuttered close, and I begin to panic.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask, touching his forehead.
I grimace at the heat of his skin. He is burning up like a furnace.
“Svenn?” I try to shake him.
The temperature is too hot for a mortal. A human would have died and shriveled instantly in this near boiling heat. I lurch straight to the pitcher on the table. This may or may not work, but I have to try.
I shred a piece of my nightgown and douse it with some water.
My heart is in my throat as I place the cloth on his forehead. I can almost see the steam of heat from the contact.
Please, open your eyes, I beg him silently.
His body remains slack and his breathing is labored.
Now I’m terrified.
I unbutton his dark tunic with trembling hands. A strong emotion overwhelms me when I look at his scars. I shake my head and focus on the task at hand.
Anastarros, grant me your blessings. I plant my hand directly over his ripped chest.
I keep passing the God of Healing’s purifying essence into him. I don’t know if it’s working, but he seems to have cooled down a bit.
Svenn shifts just a little.
I sob out a breath of relief.
He touches the cloth on his head and I remove it for him.
“Nel…you were screaming for me earlier,” he mutters weakly. “Why were you apologizing?”
That’s the first thing he asks? I inhale a deep breath and smile softly. “For the things I did to you in the cellar.”
Guilt flares on his face. “My impulse took the better hold of me too.”
“But I started it.”
I won’t do it again, I almost say. But there’s no way I can promise him that. Not with the bond still telling me to kiss him this very moment.
He tries to sit up and I help him.
“I cleaved the bond,” he suddenly says.
His words feel like a slap to my face. Something lodges in my throat. “Oh.”
An overwhelming sadness takes hold of me, accompanied by a sense of loss. I get up and pretend to change the water before he can see the tears prickling my eyes.
“I—I understand. Of course…” I say, my voice strangled with emotions. “I know you never wanted this, never wanted me.”
He heaves a long breath. “That’s not why I sealed him.”
I stop in my tracks over his words and turn to look at him.
“The bond wants me to claim you.” His eyes are dead of emotion when he says that.
What in the heavens is he talking about…?
“Every single ticking second, it’s demanding me to fuck you.”
Svenn doesn’t even breathe differently when he says those words.
A small inaudible ‘What?’ escapes from my lips.
“You see the chains on the bed? It wants me to tie you to the bedpost and fuck you to my heart’s content,” he explains with a sadistic possessiveness that scares me.
The dooming realization takes a long while to settle in my head. Svenn is the one who brought me here.
“Your bond forces you to keep a little box of trinkets? Mine has forced me to create something far worse.” He pauses for a moment, touching his head, and winces.
I wait with anticipation as he continues.
“There’s a dungeon downstairs where the bond wants me to corrupt you. Make you mine, forever and always. You’ll be my plaything, Nel.”
Oh, Svenn.
My gaze falls to the ropes and chains he has in his hand. Why didn’t I see that earlier? An unsettling feeling trickles into my gut.
I should be running, but I can’t move. It’s like he has cast a spell on me and I’m stuck to the floor.
“I may not be a button thief, but I did take this with me.” Svenn raises his hand, showing me one of my favorite blankets. He brings it to his face, inhaling it deeply.
“You see, Nel, I’m just as much as a creep as you. Likely worse. Far worse,” he says. His voice is dark and heady, just like the pair of eyes staring back at me.
He’s changed. Something about him has changed. And it scares me in a whole new way.
My body freezes at the predatory way Svenn is watching my movement. I back a step—or at least try to.
In an instant, the corded muscle of his arms is on each side of me, trapping me against the back wall.
He catches my chin and turns my face to look at him. His eyes have darkened into a shade so terrifying, my body shudders. “I’ve sealed the fucker. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not.” My voice holds steady as I think of a way to escape this.
“Then why are you running away, little fawn?” He tilts his head.
“I just don’t understand.” I shake my head. “Where are we? This is not Windhaven.”
“You’re never going back to that place again, Nel.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m keeping you all to myself.”
My fear is building slowly into full-blown horror. “You said you’ve removed the bond.”
“I did. This is all me,” he says with a hollow smile.
Gone is the kind man I know, replaced by this soulless monster.
“Take me back.” I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he is far stronger than me.
Oh gods… what do I do?
I touch his beautiful face, the same way he did to me yesterday. “Come back to me, Svenn.”
It proves to be a terrible mistake.
He kisses the inside of my wrist, his eyes growing wild. “I had a conversation with the bond and he told me something interesting.”
“You talk with your bond?” I say, startled.
He nods briefly.
“Right before I cut him off from me. The fucker has a theory.” He skims my lower lip with his thumb.
I still at the touch. “What are you doing?”
His eyes flicker. “Glad to see this mouth is working.”
Of course, it is, I almost say.
He brackets my jaw in his hand, forcing me to look up at him. “Now pay attention, sweetheart.”
He leans in to whisper, his teeth raking against the sensitive skin just below my ear. “I’m going to count down to ten, and you’ll tell me what you really want.”
My heart is pounding in my chest.
“If you say you want to go back to that shithole in Windhaven before the countdown ends, I’ll take you,” he says quietly.
Hope sparks in my chest. “You will?”
“Just say the words,” he promises. “But if you do that, you will never see me again.”
I blink at him.
“We’ll go our separate ways. I’ll remove myself from your life forever,” he continues his cruel bargain. “I will never return. Unless, of course, you use the Rhunhraefn to enslave me.”
“I’m not going to use the curse!” Anger burns in my gut as I stare at him.
A crooked grin flashes on his face. “Then this should be easy.”
His mouth travels from my temple to my neck. I suck in a startled breath, swaying on my feet.
“Ten.” Svenn begins his cruel countdown. He tugs my nightgown, easing it down to free my breast.
Cold air slaps against my bare skin and my nipples pucker in response. A feral groan leaves him with a dark whisper of, “Nine.”
His mouth closes in on my breast and my body lights up like the fireworks in Merafall. A sigh spills from my lips when his tongue swirls around my nipple. Every nerve in my body sparks to life at the sensation, humming with need.
“Your voice has changed… What’s wrong, Nel?” he asks. I shiver at the feel of his breath skating on my skin, his other hand is toying with my other breast skillfully, tugging the sensitive bud.
He knows exactly what he’s doing to me.
This is cruelty.
“Eight.” His teeth scrape against my nipple and I gasp at the thrill skittering down my spine.
He ceases the assault on my breast, only to grind his body against mine.
“Seven.” It’s impossible not to whimper at the feel of his massive length, pressing on my core. I am overwhelmed by how good it feels. Everything feels like it’s too much and not enough at the same time.
“Six. Tell me I shouldn’t do this, Rhianelle,” he says. “Tell me I shouldn’t touch you. Five.”
I know he’s not himself at the moment. This will be nothing more than a lie. And yet I want to live in this beautiful lie. It feels so good to be wanted. His touch is muddling any clear thought in my head. My body is shaking with need.
“Four.” Another sensual thrust and I can’t fight the sound that escapes my throat. But I don’t have his venom in my system like that time in the tower. I need more friction to get off.
Svenn seems to be able to read my mind because his hand drifts lower, slipping underneath my dress to give me what I want. He slips a finger between my legs, feels the pool of arousal there and growls.
“Three.” He starts stroking that bundle of nerves in smooth circles with his thumb. I feel something building up inside of me. My lips tremble with another sigh. “Oh gods.”
“Two.” He plunges another finger and a desperate moan escapes from my throat. My hand instinctively grips his and I lift my face to look at him.
“Svenn, please.” I don’t know if I’m begging him to release me or if I’m begging for release.
“I know, I know, sweetheart,” he croons, soothing me. I latch onto to his tunic, using it as leverage to bring him closer, deeper.
His fingers thrust in and out until I’m bucking against his hand, arching my body against him. He curls his fingers deep inside me, just at the right spot, and I erupt into flames. My head hangs backwards from the pleasure and I’m soaring, levitating right out of my body. I can never bring myself to this height on my own. This is stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced before.
He withdraws his fingers slowly. I’m melting against him, but he holds me in place, making sure I don’t fall.
“One.” He kisses the column of my throat.
I hate how easily my body caves in to his touches. Like it’s not mine. Like it belongs to him and only him.
Heat flushes my cheeks when I realize I’m still gripping his hand. I release it slowly. I’m not proud of what I just did, but I’m not exactly ashamed of it either.
Some kind of realization enters his eyes when he looks at me.
“You chose me…” he mutters, disbelief lacing his voice.
“Take me back,” I finally squeak out.
“A little too late for that.” He gives me a soft smile.
I bite my lower lip in frustration.
“The bond was right. You want me,” he says, sounding a little delirious. “Well, you made the right decision, Nel.”
What have I done?
I try to get out of his arms but he holds me tighter. “Unlike the bond, I’m not that cruel. You’re free to walk in the castle during the day and night. I’ll give you your private time to bathe, to garden, to bake. You can do whatever you want, as long as we stay together,” he says like a well-planned maniac. Something tells me he has thought of this often. “In time, you will learn to want me.”
Hope litters the last part of his plan so much that it almost breaks my heart to say, “I don’t want that.”
His jaw clenches as he exhales the word. “Fine.”
“Let’s start over. Ten. Nine. Eight…”
“I…” My voice trails off into nothing.
We both know what my answer would be by the end of that countdown. He watches me with an arrogant smirk playing on his lips. “Give me your answer anytime you want. I’ll honor your wish.”
A cold, dark fear fills my blood.
“Do you need helpers for your daily chores? Just list the names of the elves you want me to bring to this place. No—I would prefer if it’s just us here. We can visit them if you want to. I’ll take you anywhere you want.”
I stare at him like he’s gone mad.
“In the evening, you can walk freely over the beaches, feed the seagulls…”
The man is still laying the structure for the golden prison he plans to keep me in.
This can’t be happening.
My eyes drop to his hand on my waist. The absolute possessiveness he is holding me with used to make me happy. Now it just makes my skin crawl. All my desire turns to ash. Adrenaline slams into me, reminding me that I need to get away.
I give him a single hard shove. It throws him off guard and he tumbles easily at the push. I don’t dwell long on my newfound strength or Svenn’s sudden weakness. I slip and make a run for the door.
“Nel, wait!” he calls out but I ignore it.
I take a shuddering breath and break into a sprint. Dread infiltrates my mind as I run down the long corridor barefooted. He’s going to catch me if I don’t hurry.
Faster, legs, faster.
A set of stairs awaits me at the end of the hallway. I descend two steps at a time to get away as fast as I can. My breathing kicks up several notches from the exertion. I clutch my chest, pushing my heart to keep going. The spiraling staircase seems to be endless, and I’ve begun to wonder if this is a nightmare.
A soft scent of salt and ocean breeze pauses me to stop on my tracks at the branching level. I take the new path and tread through the rough passage until I reach a wooden door. It shows signs of decay with rust staining the hinges. The handle is carved with a rendering of a stag with its glorious antlers. I push on the door with great effort. The wooden slab gives after one hard shove.
Thank the gods. I made it outside. A sigh of relief leaves me before a gust of wind blows from the east, whipping strands of my silver hair to my face.
I fight against the strong breeze and move towards the battlements, looking for a full view over the area.
I hope to see villages or houses around the keep, but instead I am greeted by the open sea. There is no hint of life other than the squawking seabirds collecting crabs on the rocks.
It’s a small island.
Two massive galleons lay stranded over the pearlescent sand on the beach. I catch the emerald emblem of my house on the stern of the warship.
I can’t believe it.
Svenn has actually brought me home to V?lundr.
This isolated island has to be at the furthest edge of our territory, one of the outposts during the war. One of the reasons Aelheim wanted our region in their coalition was for our armada. V?lundr’s navy is the kingdom’s only defense against the fae’s fleet of seadragons.
My fist clenches with determination burning in my chest. I narrow my eyes to the distant horizon to gauge the distance towards the mainland.
The people of V?lundr are natural born divers. It took me a longer time to learn how to swim because I was born small and my lungs are fragile. They told me I should never go near the sea. But my uncle never gave up on me and we practiced every evening. Rainer made me wear the floaters until I was ready. His dedication and effort paid off. I am a decent swimmer now. I will now have to rely on that skill to escape my mad husband.
It takes seventy-eight seconds to go over the parapet and scale down the wall, five seconds to jump into the trees, fifty-two seconds to sneak behind the under bush, and thirty-seven seconds to trudge towards the rocky terrain.
I can swim or I can hide. Either way, Svenn will never find me.
Every instinct in my body is telling me to escape towards my freedom.
But a strange feeling coaxes me to turn around. Svenn is somewhere in those dark passages. He is not himself and I don’t understand why.
I shake my head.
Now is not the time to be unravelling the mystery behind his sudden change. I need to escape.
It’s too dangerous and foolish to go back…
My heart is pounding furiously in my chest, yet I can’t take another step forward to get away.
I shut down the voice of reason ringing at the back of my head and run back into the castle. I’ll probably regret this impulsive decision later, but I have to know.
My heart thumps erratically as I walk along the passage to a wide chamber. This could have once been the keep’s great hall. Other than a few sculptures and decaying furniture, there is not much else that is left.
Movement comes from the stairs and I hide myself in the shadows of a marbled statue. I hold the air in my lungs, careful not to make a sound.
Svenn enters the chamber, carrying the chain in his hand. The clanking of the shackles, dragging on the floor along with his heavy footsteps makes an ominous echo. I see the ravenous hunger dancing in his eyes.
“Rhianelle…where are you?” His voice pierces through the silence of the abandoned castle. It sends a chill down my spine.
I lower my head to keep myself hidden.
In this state, Svenn looks more beast than man. I finally remember all the songs and ballads warning us of the horrors of the vampire kind.
The Nightwalkers are vicious, ferocious, and dangerous. Monsters in the skin of men.
And the worst of them now prowls the empty hallway, searching for his prey.
Me.
The Strigon staggers on his feet and braces his arm against the wall. A strangled cry erupts from his throat. “Nel…”
His head is slumped forward, his long hair is nearly unbound. I fight the foolish urge to smooth the silky strands and feel my fingers running through them.
Something is wrong with him…
Svenn took care of me when I turned into a feral cat yesterday. I want to do the same for him, but his current state is too scary and near insane. Not even Anastarros’ blessings could cure him.
He crumbles to his knees and my heart falls with him. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable and weakened. It’s almost like he’s withering away right in front of my eyes.
What happened to him?
There is only one way to find out.
I close my eyes to commune with my dark patrons in the fortress of my mind.
Stale air envelopes me the moment I enter their abandoned temple. The halls of the sacred place are desiccated and in ruins. Humans, elves, and fae have long forgotten these deities.
The blessings I collected hover in the middle of the chamber like a well spun yarn. I pluck five strings from the bundle and fumble towards Jessica’s lair in Astefar.
In the forbidden forest, only the strongest and the most cunning would survive. I think of all the ways this could go wrong. But as long as I am mindful of my manners and words, it will be all right.
My heart beats faster when I reach the entrance to the cavern. “Jessica, are you home?” I scream into the dark chasm.
A clicking noise resounds from the underground tunnel.
My friend emerges from the shadows, crawling to me slowly despite her many legs. Her obsidian body is slender and sleek after her most recent childbirth. Concern fills the depthless pools of her dark eyes. “What’s wrong, Rhianelle?”
I regret not greeting my dearest friend properly, but I need to hurry.
“Let me borrow your eyes,” I plead to her desperately. “It’s urgent. I need to save my husband.”
“Is he delicious?” Jessica asks earnestly.
Husbands are not for eating… I almost argue. At least mine is not. I know Jessica ate seven of hers, but I don’t judge.
“He doesn’t taste good,” I press on.
“Come on. He can’t be worse than an ox’s bile?” she asks coyly.
“Much worse.”
Technically it’s not lying if I don’t know what a vampire’s raw meat tastes like. “Please, Jessica. I’ll give you five strings for it.”
Her eyes sparkle at the bargain. “You can hold more now?”
I nod.
“I always knew you could do it.” Jessica claps her hands proudly. She has always been a supportive friend. “Rhianelle, you’re amazing.”
I beam at the compliment. It’s all thanks to Svenn’s endurance training with me.
She extends her spindly hand to take the threads. “I’ll take two strings for my newborns. You keep the other three.”
“Are you sure?” I ask her.
Her harsh features soften with kindness. “You need it more than I do to save your husband.”
I run into her arms and hug her.
“There, there, darling Rhianelle.” I feel the bristle of her fur as she strokes my back. “But you have to return them to me soon. I can’t win against Lulu with only six eyes.”
“I promise I will.”
I place the essence of her eyes behind mine and return to the keep.
With my borrowed sight, my vision becomes clearer than ever before. I am able to perceive the seen and the unseen.
And all I see is blood.
It’s everywhere. On the wall of the castle, on the floor, splattered across the furniture and the ceiling.
Amongst the grisly sight lies hundreds if not thousands of black feathers. I follow the trail slowly. It’s no surprise that it all traces back to the man in front of me.
Svenn’s soul is bleeding, plucked and torn apart from him beyond recognition.
Clarity sparks in my mind when his words replay in my head.
‘I cleaved the bond.’
‘The bond wants me to claim you.’
I should have seen the pain behind his eyes when he said those things. It’s impossible to remove the bond from us completely. It is something that is woven into our soul.
Yes, there is no other way to sever the bond, the Un confirms what is on my mind. He had to shatter his soul.
A tear slips over my lashes. I quickly swipe it away.
Oh Svenn…
He removed the bond to keep me safe, but it comes with a price.
It will be a slow death for him, my dark patrons adds.
I breathe in too sharply and Svenn sees me.
His dark eyes swirling with shadows as they set upon me.
“Nel…” He gathers his strength, slowly crawling to me.
I can still run if I want to. It’s not like he can chase me in his state. Instead, I storm into the arms of the beautiful, broken man in front of me.
Svenn looks at me with relief and a little surprise. “You came back.”
“Of course,” I nod, trying to keep the tears from spilling from my eyes. “Now stay with me.”
“Everything is fine, Nel.” He strokes a rough hand over my hair. “It’s going to be all right.”
No, it won’t. I shake my head. The Un said it will be a slow death.
His face is so pale, I can tell he is slipping away.
He shredded his soul…
“Nel, I can’t see… Are you still there?”
He is losing his senses one by one.
“I’m here!” I tell him. I take his hand and bring his knuckles to my mouth. “I’m here, Svenn.”
“You’re here…” He stumbles backwards. I catch him in my arms, lowering him to lie in my lap.
“Rhianelle, I’m tired.” His eyelids drift shut and a fear so cold slithers on my skin.
I feel him go preternaturally still in my arms. I shake him to keep him with me. “Please, don’t leave me. Please, please, please.”
He opens his eyes, even if he can’t see anything.
His breathing goes shallow, but he clings to every breath, clings on to life… for me. I stroke his hair gently, more to comfort myself than him.
There is no avoiding the inevitable, the thing that comes for us all. I can almost see Svenn’s life essence fading away as death claims him. He closes his eyes once more.
“Stay,” I mutter my final plea.
He tries to pry them open. Yet this time he fails and I whimper.
His chest rises with one last death rattle. And just like that, Svenn is gone.
He is no longer in the world of the living.
I shake him and scream and scream.
This can’t be happening.
Not to my Svenn.
But it has happened. And now he is dead.
All my strength fled my body. I pull my knees up to my chest and lie there crying beside his lifeless form.
Why didn’t I see it earlier? Maybe if I had been smarter I would have known that he is broken.
Rhianelle, our dearest, do not cry, the Un whispers to my ear. He will breathe a new life and wake up soon.
“I know.” I sniffle, wiping my tears away.
He will never know peace. That is his curse.
The agony inside my chest reaches its peak.
“I know that,” I say to them.
I shove myself to my feet and glance at the dark feathers littering the hallways.
The pieces of Svenn’s soul.
My heart crashes once more at the sight. I allow it to grieve for several beats, then I start picking up the feathers one by one.
With the three threads of blessings I still have in my hand, I begin my work of patching up his soul.
Svenn’s heart restarts with a jump and his eyes flutter open.
“Little fawn…” he mutters in a hoarse rasp. “What happened?”
“You shredded your soul to remove the bond,” I remind him.
Light enters his eyes as he recalls. “Yes. And then I died…”
I stay quiet to allow him to gather his thoughts.
He runs a hand over his face. “I usually came back from the dead into something less human… more beast for the first few months.”
“I healed you,” I say.
Svenn’s head cocks slightly to the side in confusion.
“Thank you,” he says, though he still seems a little lost.
There’s no way of telling if I’ve patched his soul correctly. I start to get up to keep away from him.
“Stay. Please,” he says quietly. There is a strange plea in his voice.
I don’t think he will chase me. He’s still disoriented and muddled. I settle beside him as he pulls himself to sit upright.
Svenn leans his back on the cool wall with a grunt. I do the same but I keep a careful distance from him. Like he said, he’s not fully himself when he has just come back from the dead.
It’s better to be safe than sorry.
“You’re glowing,” he mutters.
Am I? I don’t think the blessings of the Un and my golden threads are visible to the naked eyes. Then again, Svenn is no ordinary human.
I stare silently at him, studying his eyes.
“You’re afraid if the bond is still affecting my judgement.” It’s not a question but a statement. One that is absolutely true.
I nod.
“It’s still here…” He touches the spot directly above his heart.
“I patched up every piece with my threads,” I tell him. “Not a single one missing. Including the bond.”
“Threads?” Confusion crinkles his brow.
His chest rises with a deep breath.
“I don’t know what you did, Nel, but I’m more in control now. I don’t have to cut him off. I simply have to—” He stares off into the middle distance. “There… I sealed him,” he says like it’s as easy as turning off one of the Tluryan elves’ mechanical switch.
“That’s amazing, Svenn. I’m sorry but I can’t do that to mine,” I say, shaking my head. “The bond, no matter how messed up it is, she’s a part of me. I like her.”
“So keep her.” A grin spreads across his face. “Mine is a bastard, so I have to lock him away.”
It warms my heart to see that smile. He’s more himself now.
“It feels so much better.” He sits up straighter, his eyes full of awe. “It’s quiet now.”
“Must be nice,” I mutter. My bond, on the other hand, is desperately telling me to jump into his lap right this moment because we just lost him.
“Let me show you something, Nel,” he says, tapping his thigh for me to sit on.
I don’t accept the invitation immediately. A long beat of silence passes as I look at him carefully. Those kind eyes definitely belong to my Svenn. I move to him without hesitation now that he has sealed his crazy bond. I feel the firm press of his muscle as he gathers me closer.
“The more we deny ourselves what the bond wants, the more intense the pull gets,” he whispers hoarsely. “But physical touch makes it bearable.”
I can feel the rumble of his words against my back, sliding down my spine.
Svenn sifts his fingers through my hair. His other hand rests against the small of my back casually, keeping me close to him. I can feel the wild beating of his heart pounding against his chest. I’m sure he can feel mine too.
It doesn’t take long at all for his theory to work. The bond goes silent in my head.
No, it’s content…
The desperate urge to bite, to kiss, to make love to him is still there… but it’s less intense now.
“I think you might be right,” I murmur to his chest.
A dark chuckle fills my ear.
We stay that way for a long while, basking in each other’s presence. I love the weight of his heavy arm around my waist. It’s so comfortable here. I don’t ever want to move from this spot. I snuggle into him until my lungs are filled with his scent.
Svenn gives a deliciously deep growl.
“You feel so fucking good, Nel.” It’s not something I expected he would say. A tender feeling gathers in my chest.
Relief washes over me. His bond has been feeding him wicked thoughts the way mine did to me. I understand now. His temporary insanity must have driven him to bring me to this abandoned castle.
I don’t think Svenn is well enough to travel back, but we at least have to make preparations.
“When do you think we can go back to Windhaven?” I ask him, restless at the thought that no one knows if I’m all right. Not my knights, not my uncle. Lady Deirdre must be worried sick for me.
He pulls away a little to meet my gaze.
“This whole thing is just a misunderstanding. You were not yourself,” I say softly.
He just watches. His eyes are focussed on me, and the silence stretches out.
“I was jealous of Tallula and Lenna when they talked to you,” I release a small truth from my heart.
His jaw unhinges. “Who?”
“My handmaidens,” I remind him. I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad that he doesn’t know their names. “The bond makes us do unreasonable things sometimes. So I understand why you brought me here. But I think we should go back to Windhaven now.”
He says nothing and keeps on staring down at me. My heart is hammering in the silence. Svenn is most terrifying when he is quiet.
“I’ve sealed mine completely,” he says, his eyes hardening. “This is all me.”
I stiffen in his grip. Just moments ago, he was kind and warm. Now the cold menace has returned to his face.
He snaps the chain on my wrist in a movement so fast I barely register it. A sharp chill goes down my spine when the lock clicks, my earlier fear screaming back to life. “What are you doing?”
“I told you, little fawn. I’m keeping you.” His voice has gone low.
I was mistaken. It was not a moment of insanity. My husband is crazy through and through.
I try tugging my wrist free from the manacle but it’s useless. “Take me back, Svenn.”
His eyebrows lift. “Why? You don’t even like that place.”
“That’s not true…” My voice is starting to break and I’m struggling to keep it calm. “I have duties to my kingdom.”
“And you hated every minute of it.”
His words slice deep into me, shocking me to my bones.
That is supposed to be my deepest secret.
No one knows that.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” He heaves a breath, his voice becoming less strained. “You weren’t happy. I see a little part of you dies every time you go and play queen.”
He runs his knuckles on my cheekbone, the movement so devastatingly gentle that I lean in to the touch. I come to my senses quickly this time, though, shaking my head. “I want to go back.”
“If you want to go back so badly, then make your choice. Right here, right now,” he says, not even bothered to offer me the countdown this time.
It seems like a simple option.
An escape from this prison or never seeing this cruel man ever again.
Yet, my tongue has turned to lead as I look at him. The air pulses with a heavy silence during our stare down.
“Thought so. You chose me, Rhianelle.” He leans back, looking handsome and smug.
A flash of anger eclipses my fear for a moment.
“I’ll run away.” I glare at him.
He glares right back. “No, you won’t. I was dead for hours. You had your chance.”
The fury rises in me like a tide.
“You’re a disgusting prick!” I pull against the metal chain.
He smirks. “You need to come up with a better insult, wife.”
I am about to borrow some from Blaire’s vocabulary when a piercing, blood-curdling scream pierces through the air.