Chapter Twenty
DAISY WAS A NERVOUS WRECK, and it didn’t help that nothing was going according to plan that morning.
First, her coffeemaker sputtered to a stop halfway through brewing.
Then the clasp on her blouse snapped, leaving her wholly exposed.
To make matters worse, Amelia refused to wake up before nine, and they were supposed to be at the park by nine thirty.
Daisy noticed the bad omens. In the past, she would have listened. These, in particular, all seemed to say the same thing:
Don’t go.
But she had no choice. She would no longer keep Amelia from her father. She would do right by him and allow him to be involved in her life.
Sending that message had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. Even now, she shivered remembering how on edge she’d been a few days ago when she finally reached out.
Daisy: Hi. It’s me… Daisy.
The message was instantly responded to.
Jameson: I was starting to get worried. I was thinking I’d have to make another unexpected visit to your gallery.
Daisy: No need. I’m ready to do this… when are you free?
Jameson: Anytime.
Daisy: I’m sure your schedule is extremely busy. Just let me know.
Jameson: Seriously. Anytime, I’ll make it work.
Daisy typed fast before she lost her nerve.
Daisy: Saturday at 9:30. The park by my house.
Jameson: AM or PM?
Daisy rolled her eyes and he immediately followed up his previous text.
Jameson: Kidding. 9:30 AM. Will you send me the address?
Daisy: Yes.
Jameson: Okay, see you then.
Daisy: I don’t think we should tell her that you’re her father yet. We should ease her into it. Let her get to know you first before we drop the bomb.
He didn’t respond for a minute, which made her even more anxious.
Jameson: Whatever you think is best, darlin’.
Daisy halted her fingers over her phone and read the last word again. One word, and nine years collapsed in on her. She shut the conversation down after that.
No soft spots. Not anymore.
As Daisy braided her daughter’s hair, only ten minutes before they were due to arrive at the park, her worry began to really set in.
This was actually happening.
“Why are we going to the park so early?”
Amelia rubbed her hands over her tired eyes.
“It’s not that early, sweetie.”
“Can we go to the aquarium instead?”
Oh, how Daisy wished they could. Hide among tanks of fish, surrounded by noise and distractions. But she knew better. Being seen with Jameson in a crowded public space was not in their best interest, especially given the sensitivity of the meeting.
“Maybe when Matt gets back.”
“Matty!” Amelia perked up. “He’ll be home tomorrow.”
Daisy nodded and quietly asked, “Have you talked to him?”
Amelia shrugged. “Yeah, a little.”
She halted a beat before she went on, “Does he sound good?”
She gave her mother a weird look. “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
Daisy forced a smile through the mirror, embarrassed at herself. It was a pathetic move, asking her eight-year-old how her boyfriend was doing. But she hadn’t spoken to Matt since last weekend, not after everything she had confessed, and curiosity gnawed at her.
So far, everyone was taking it differently. Her mother had been quietly pleased, while her father and Anna had a much different opinion. They were skeptical about his intentions and worried about how Amelia would take the revelation once she found out.
But mostly they were scared, just like her, that he would spiral like he had before and bail out of their lives once again.
Daisy knew that was why her heart was racing as they walked down the street to the park.
She didn’t care what Jameson could do to her, but what he could do to Amelia…
She would die before she allowed him to break her heart, too.
Daisy held on to Amelia’s cold hand as they entered the expansive park they frequented often.
It was nearly empty. A few older kids shot hoops on the far basketball court, and on the bench by the play set sat a man in a San Francisco Giants cap.
Jameson.
He must have felt their presence because even from a few feet away he turned as if they were right beside him.
Daisy stopped abruptly and Amelia jerked at the sudden halt. Daisy forced her feet forward, pretending calm she didn’t feel.
Jameson stood, his eyes fixed on the little girl at Daisy’s side.
“Look who it is,” Daisy said brightly. Too brightly.
Amelia frowned. “What?”
“It’s my friend from the gallery show. Remember?”
Recognition dawned. She stopped short in front of him. “Yeah—the big gnome guy.”
Jameson chuckled.
Daisy groaned. “Amelia…”
“Sorry, Mom.”
He crouched to Amelia’s height, hand outstretched. “I’m Jameson. Nice to see you again.”
Amelia hesitated, then shook his hand. “Why are you here?”
He glanced up at Daisy for help. She shrugged.
Before either of them could answer, Amelia went on. “Isn’t it kinda creepy to sit in a park all by yourself?”
His mouth fell open. Fair point. He looked down at his workout clothes and Nike tennis shoes, then answered, “I was on a run. I needed a break. Figured I’d catch my breath on this bench.”
She accepted that without fuss. “Okay. Well, since you’re here, want to push me on the swing? My mom never goes high enough.”
Despite the jab, Daisy’s chest ached with warmth. One minute, and Amelia was already letting him in.
“I’d be happy to, as long as it’s okay with your mum.”
Amelia turned and batted her big eyes.
“Sure, just not too high.”
Jameson’s face glowed with unguarded joy as Amelia dragged him away.
They played for nearly half an hour. Slides, monkey bars, swings.
Daisy pretended to read, but her eyes kept straying to them.
Amelia did take after him and not just in appearance.
They were both outspoken, fearless, endlessly persistent.
People who could disarm you in minutes and make you feel as if you’d known them forever.
Of course, even the most magnetic people couldn’t compete with a pack of eight-year-olds. When a group of girls called Amelia over to play Duck, Duck, Goose, Jameson was instantly replaced and almost looked relieved when he collapsed beside Daisy.
“Parenting is hard work, huh?” Daisy teased.
“She didn’t stop once. I don’t think she took a single breath.”
Daisy laughed softly.
Jameson leaned back, voice low. “She’s wonderful, Daisy. Smart. Polite. Bold. You did a great job with her.”
Daisy gulped down the rising lump in her throat. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
He nodded, saying nothing more. His unease seeped through the silence, and Daisy carried it like her own.
The way he looked at Amelia, with affection edged in loss, was proof enough of what he’d missed.
Not because he hadn’t wanted it, but because of her fear.
Explanations would come eventually. Just not now.
“Have you found a house yet?”
Jameson kept his head forward and said, “Not yet. Haven’t really had the time to look.”
“Will you stay in the city, or move closer to your mom?”
“I’ll probably get out of the city and head further south, but I don’t want to be too far from you guys.”
Daisy appreciated the consideration even though it wasn’t needed; she would understand if he wanted to be closer to his mother. With a heavy heart, Daisy thought of Margot and sighed. “Does she know?”
“Yes,” was all he said, peeking at her from the corner of his eye. Daisy’s cold body began to heat up as she raised her eyebrows at his evasiveness. She was curious and slightly petrified to know how his mother had responded to the news.
“Honestly?”
She nervously chewed her lip and nodded.
“She’s pretty devastated, excited but devastated. On one hand, she never thought she’d have any grandchildren, so Amelia is a welcomed surprise, but on the other, she’s sick with the idea that she’s gone all these years without knowing her.”
Daisy bowed her head and dropped her eyes to the concrete ground. “I had my reasons, Jameson. I’m not proud of myself but…”
“Jameson!”
Amelia interrupted, running from where the group of girls was dispersing.
“Hey, did you have fun?”
Amelia ignored her mother and ran up to Jameson. “Are you famous?”
The question jolted them both. Amelia stood in front of him, eyes wide.
“What?”
“Are you famous? Alyssa said she saw you in a magazine. Said you’re a singer. Said you have tattoos.”
Daisy’s stomach plummeted.
“Who’s Alyssa?” Daisy inquired.
Amelia pointed over to the toe-headed girl she had just played with. She spotted Alyssa with her mother across the playground, already whispering.
Jameson read the panic in Daisy’s face and rose quickly. Daisy grabbed Amelia’s hand. “How about we walk and talk?”
“Okay,” she said happily in agreement, and the three of them left the park.
As they walked down the street together, Jameson tugged his cap lower, shadowing his face.
“Want to come over for breakfast?” Amelia chirped. “My mom can make pancakes.”
“You already had breakfast,” Daisy reminded.
“But I’m hungry again. And I bet Jameson is too.”
Jameson’s gaze flicked between Daisy and Amelia, like he’d been cornered. He hesitated, clearly wanting to stay, but Daisy kept her stare fixed on him until he finally looked back.
“Please?” Amelia pouted.
He hesitantly answered, “I am hungry. But only if your mum says it’s okay.”
“She does!” Amelia answered for Daisy, grinning. “Right, Mom?”
Daisy’s stomach twisted. Everything in her screamed not here, not yet.
Their apartment was sacred. The thought of Jameson in her home, in her space, unsettled her.
But Amelia’s excitement was impossible to fight, and Jameson’s restraint, waiting for her word, not daring to assume, pressed in on her.
Daisy realized she wasn’t agreeing for him. She was agreeing for Amelia.
Daisy was so lost in thought that she didn’t even realize that the two of them had stopped, until she ran into Jameson’s shoulder.
“Mom…” Amelia urged her for an answer.