25. Jake
Jake
Clutching my left hand in a fist so the ring wouldn’t fall off and get lost, I followed Dalton back down the path.
As we stepped in and out of the shade of those cottonwood trees, I knew that nothing, after this moment, would ever be the same again. Not the tall grasses dancing against dark boulders. Not the smell of the river or the sound of those heart-shaped leaves. Not even the blue, blue sky above.
All of it was changed. Forever.
But now I knew that wasn’t a bad thing. Those changes were because of Dalton. The tasseled-shoe-wearing city boy who’d jumped into my heart and refused to leave. Who’d looked into me and decided to stay.
For that, for that feeling of being loved, I would withstand all the changes the world could throw at me. As long as Dalton was by my side, I could bear anything.
Dalton, his fair hair dappled dark and light in turn beneath the shadows of cottonwood leaves, led the way down the bit of steep slope and along the path that followed Snow Creek.
He wanted to get married. I had agreed. He didn’t want to go to Nebraska, far from the stars that I loved. He wanted to stay nearby.
Nothing else had to be decided right now. We’d live together in my bunkhouse while we figured everything out. More than that, I could not ask for.
We reached the staff building, where the dining hall was. Good smells of a hot lunch were in the air. The clatter of forks on plates. Friendly, easygoing chatter.
It sounded like everybody was already there. We were a tad late. Never mind. There would be time enough to eat before getting back to work.
As we stepped through the doorway, Dalton first, he reached back for my hand, and I took it.
Some folks were still in the buffet line. Most were already seated.
Lucas was standing in the empty spot between the doorway and the first table. Which was odd, because surely he should already be sitting and eating.
But when he saw us, he threw up his arms and said, “Hey, everybody!”
The place went silent. Everyone was still, looking at Lucas. Then at us.
“Dearly beloved,” Lucas said in quite a loud voice. Then, with a wide sweeping gesture in our direction, he said, “I’d like to present the newly engaged couple, my dearest friend Dalton Gayle and our very own Jake Colter. Engaged today. Just now. Who wants to throw an engagement party with me?”
I’d never heard such a roar. Shouts of approval. A rush of people in our direction.
Lucas hugged Dalton hard. He admired my ring, tugging on my arm, then said something to Dalton about pony kegs and hot wings.
Jesse came up to me and gave me a quick hug. That meant a lot to me because I admired him as much as I had adored Walter.
Others followed. Malcolm. Gunner.
Then, finally, Xander, a bit timid, holding back. A ghost boy slipping his hand into mine. But his eyes were shining. “Can I come to your wedding?” he asked, almost too quietly for me to hear.
A wedding. I’d never been to a wedding, let alone planned one. Mentally, I flailed, but I had to answer. “Yes,” I said. “Of course you can.”
All the LGBTQ kids would be there. Everybody from the ranch would be invited. Anybody who wanted to come—and all at once, the whole thing was so far out of any semblance of control, I couldn’t catch my breath.
Xander reached over to tug on Dalton’s sleeve, then jerked his thumb in my direction.
“Oh,” Dalton said. “Give me a second,” he told the person he had been talking to.
Then he turned to me, his hands on my hands, pulling me to him.
His pretty gaze was focused entirely on me. The warmth between our bodies steadied me. His hands on my face. The way he rose on his toes to kiss me. Right there. In front of everyone I knew.
Applause. Shouts and laughter. All those sounds faded away because I had Dalton in my arms. I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes. Inhaled his scent. Felt his soft lips against my ear.
“I love you, Jake,” he whispered.
Suddenly, there was a hush. The whole room was listening.
I now had an audience for my most private, heart-sworn feelings. But in spite of that, I couldn’t deny how I felt about Dalton. So I said, loudly and clearly, as though making a vow, “And I love you, Dalton.”
I could not hear my own heart beating above the roar of sound. But I could feel Dalton’s heart beating against my ribs, the heat of his skin, and I knew he was as rattled as I was. Which steadied me. I took a breath, good and deep, and gripped both of Dalton’s hands in mine.
I turned to everyone in that dining hall. Everyone was standing. Watchful. Expectant.
“That’s enough now,” I said. “We’d like to eat.”
Laughter rose, but it was kind. I’d never realized that the people on the ranch would be so welcoming. Maybe that was because I typically had my head down, focused on the work.
Walter had warned me a time or two about that, but I’d never paid attention. Until now.
As I led Dalton to the end of the buffet line, I shook hands with anybody who wanted to shake mine, more than I usually did in a week’s time.
I let Dalton lift my left arm to show off the lovely antique ring he’d bought for me. I knew I needed to buy him one so the engagement would be truly and properly sealed.
There was a lot to do, as there always was, but now, the tasks that loomed in front of me felt joyful. Full of promise. Full of hope.
I never cried. But as I stood there and let Dalton hand me a tray, and I looked around that room, I knew I would bawl like a baby if anyone so much as said another kind word to me. I simply didn’t know what to do with all that support.
Dalton was to blame for all this. Of course he was. With his candy-floss hair and that sweet, blue-eyed smile.
I would be undone. In another moment, I was going to come apart. And having never really done that, I wouldn’t know how to pick up the pieces.
“Hey,” a voice barked behind me. It was Jesse, with a tray in his hands and an impatient look on his face. “Have those giant boots of yours taken root?”
In his eyes was laughter as he winked at me. Jesse knew me, and he was giving me a way out of the state I was in. Overcome. Awash in emotion. Being loved in front of a whole bunch of people was out of my wheelhouse. Jesse had rescued me.
“You’re welcome to go ahead, boss,” I said, laying lazy insubordination on that last word.
With a hard sigh, he stayed where he was and looked away as if he were too irritated, or maybe preoccupied, to even contemplate speaking to me. Which made everything all right again. More normal.
Chatter in the room went down to its normal levels, too, and as I listened to Dalton ask how much butter was on those green beans, I could smile. I’d get him to eat more butter, and he’d change me in ways I wasn’t aware needed changing. That’s how life was. Always had been. Always would be.
We ate our lunch in as much peace as could be expected, given that we weren’t alone at the table beneath the window where the sun shone through the glass panes in large curtains of warm gold.
No. Every seat was taken. If I so much as reached for a shaker, I got three offers of salt and one of pepper.
I was never so grateful to finish a meal in all my life.
Reaching for normalcy as I bused my place, I was glad to have Dalton near, glad to let him carry the conversation with the straggling well-wishers. Glad to step out of the staff building and into the sunlight.
Bathed in that warmth, I took a deep breath, then turned to Dalton, who had taken my hand in a firm grip.
“So,” he said, “saddle up, because this is just going to continue.”
“What?” I asked, feeling dense.
“Lucas is planning an engagement party.” He held tight to my hand like I was a newly broken horse who just might take it in my head to bolt.
“There’s going to be music. A DJ or something.
Line dancing in the barn. A bonfire. There will be spicy wings, nacho casserole, whatever desserts Ruth can whip up, and a pony keg or two.
I tried to get him to include gin and tonic on tap, but he wasn’t listening to me. It’s like they think it’s their party!”
Once again, I could see an adorable pout on Dalton’s lips. A flush to his cheeks, because he was that worked up.
“Maybe it is their party,” I said. “Let them do what they want. Then you and I can get married exactly the way we want. Or.” I shrugged, because really I had no idea how these things worked. “We’ll get married the way you want. Anything you prefer is fine by me.”
“Oh.” He stopped pouting to contemplate that idea, his smile growing. “We can get married on a beach in Hawaii!”
“Uh.” I’d never been on a plane, never having had a reason, nor the inclination, to sit in a metal tube that was approximately thirty thousand feet above the surface of the earth.
“Or,” he said, chewing on his lower lip in such an adorable way that it made me want to kiss him—not that I needed much incentive to want to kiss him. “We could get married in moonlight. Or starlight. Or both.” The smile he gave me could have charmed even the meanest soul.
I thought about it. Images of us standing beneath that cottonwood tree came to me.
Some officiant saying the words that would bind us together forever.
Witnesses. Jesse. Lucas. Xander. Buddy, carrying bundles of wildflowers on his back.
Petals fluttering in the wind. The smell of the river and river willows.
“What?” Dalton fairly danced in my arms. “I can see you have an idea. What is it?”
I hesitated. Surely he wouldn’t like my idea. It wasn’t sophisticated or fancy. People would have to go up that path, muddy in places, steep in others. Nobody would want to. Would they?
I told him anyway.
“Snowball will feel left out,” he said when I finished. “We should put pink flowers on her, and deep red ones on Buddy. Both horses should carry flowers, so neither feels left out.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there weren’t that many wildflowers in the whole state of Colorado, but I did anyway.
“Sure, there are,” he said. “We’ll have them trucked in. Easy.”