Chapter 9
Cethin
The moment the door to the Potions classroom opens, everything within me goes on high alert, and I look up to find Anja making her way inside.
Every part of me screams that she's my mate, and that I should tell her so that we can start the process of creating the bond between us and she can be mine in all kinds of ways.
But I know I can't. I have to hold myself back for her sake.
She doesn't seem to be having the same reaction to me, which must mean that she hasn't felt it.
That's not unheard of, not everyone feels the mate reaction, and while she doesn't know what she is, it must be one of the species who doesn't feel it.
And I don't want to push her too far and scare her away.
"Hey," she says brightly as she reaches her seat beside me.
I smile at her, enjoying every moment of her presence, and the fact that she seems to light up when she's around me.
At least that's a good sign for when I do tell her that she's my mate.
I feel bad for keeping it from her, but I don't want to add the pressure of it to her, especially when she seems to be struggling with whatever it is that's happening in her dreams. "Hi.
Ready for another class full of questioning the darker sides of magic? "
"I only do that to you," she says with a small laugh as she starts to unpack her stuff.
"I appreciate the commentary. It's all useful for our essay," I respond.
She lets out a groan and takes a seat. "I'd forgotten about that. When is it due?"
"Just before the holidays, we've got time. But if you want to get started, we can schedule some library time next week." And I'm not just saying that because I want to spend some time alone with her. Though I do. It would be good to get started.
She wrinkles her nose in an adorable way. "Do you have to make it sound so clinical?"
"How else would you like me to say it? We're talking about studying, not making out in the library." Even as I say it, images and thoughts about what that might be like flash through my mind, and I wonder if it might not be the worst idea.
"Next week sounds good," she murmurs, an enchanting blush rising to her cheeks.
Perhaps I'm not the only one who likes the idea of spending some time alone in the library. Though there might be better places for the two of us to be together.
"Good afternoon, class," Professor Fairburn says cheerfully, cutting off any chance of a continued conversation. "Today we're going to be attempting a sleep charm."
Anja lets out a frustrated sigh. "Great, I'm going to fail."
"You're not," I assure her, though I'm not entirely sure about that. She's passable at the potion side of things, but her charm work leaves something to be desired.
"Everything you may need is in the rooms. You have thirty minutes. I shall be walking around the classroom to observe and give corrections when they're needed," the professor says with a clap of her hands.
"Let's get started with making a fool of myself," Anja mutters.
"That's not going to happen." Because I'm not going to let it.
"I can't do magic, remember." She clicks her fingers together as if to demonstrate, but unsurprisingly, nothing happens. "I can just about get away with the potions because the ingredients still do the magic itself, but charms..."
Something sparks a thought, and I flip through the pages of the textbook to find what I'm looking for, grateful that my memory has served me well. "You're in luck." I push the book over to Anja so she can see what I'm looking at.
"It's not a charm." There's a hint of awe in her voice.
"It is a charm. Just not the kind of charm you're thinking of."
"Huh, this could actually be helpful too." She runs her finger down the page and whispers to herself as she reads. I'm not even sure she knows she's doing it. "It says that it's advised to be used by people who are suffering from nightmares."
Concern fills me. "Are you still not sleeping well?" I figured she was still having bad dreams, but if they're this bad...
A protective urge rises inside me. I want to take all of that away and shield her.
She shakes her head. "Though no more sleepwalking, so you'll be glad to know that your reading time will be uninterrupted."
"You were a welcome interruption." It was nice to spend time with her away from class. Even if it was after hours and she was out of sorts from walking around like that.
For a moment, she looks as if she wants to ask something, and I can tell it's probably about how I raced off. How can I explain that without telling her that I left because I was moments away from kissing her and I didn't know if that was what she wanted?
"I'm still worried about it," she admits. "The sleepwalking."
"Understandable. I've heard it can be disorienting."
"Mmm." She pauses as if she's going to say more, but doesn't. "I'm going to go and get the equipment." She gets to her feet and grabs my textbook without another word, heading over to the side of the classroom to collect the things we need to make the charm.
I watch her go, conflicted feelings making their way through me. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, and I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to hurt her. Or scare her.
And I don't want her to reject me. I don't know how I'd cope if the person who is supposed to be perfect for me turns me down.
She looks back over her shoulder, and her gaze locks with mine. To my surprise, she closes her eyes, then turns around properly and heads back towards me, putting the textbook down on the bench surprisingly firmly.
"You okay?" My curiosity doesn't let me stay quiet.
"Do you want to hang out tonight?"
I raise an eyebrow, trying to ignore the hope rising up within me. "Hang out as in..."
"After dinner? Maybe we can...you know, I'm not sure. What is there to do here that isn't studying?" she asks.
"Very little if we don't make the entertainment ourselves," I respond. "But if you want, we could take dessert out to one of the benches."
"That sounds like a date."
"Wasn't that what you were asking for?" I certainly hope it's what she's asking for. If she is, then there's a chance all of this will work out precisely the way I'm desperate for it too.
"Yes," she whispers. "It just wasn't coming out right. If that's what you want, then I'd like it to be a date."
"Good. Then that's what it is. I look forward to it." My heart constricts at the sight of her smile. It's going to be hard to restrain myself while we're alone, but it'll be worth it. I'm sure of it.
Professor Fairburn clears her throat, shocking both of us out of our moment. "Is there a reason you're planning your social lives instead of doing the assignment?"
"Sorry, Professor," Anja says, seeming somewhat surprised that we're being told off.
"Hmm. I expect more progress next time I do my rounds." She walks away to go and look at what the students on the bench beside us are up to.
I exchange a look with Anja, and we both burst out laughing.
"I guess that's us told," she says.
"Worth it," I respond. "Maybe I'll try to get the stuff we need this time, unless you need the time to ask any other questions you want answers to?"
"No, the date question was the only one I had on my mind."
I smile and grab the textbook, feeling even better than I normally do when I'm around her.