Chapter 11
Anja
The mist swirls around me and the distant wailing grows stronger than ever. I can already feel the panic starting to build within me as I make my way over to where I know the river is waiting for me.
Everything seems a little sharper than it has been in the past, as if my mind is trying to tell me that this isn't just a dream, it's some kind of manifestation of my magic.
The moment I think that, something shifts within me, as if the part of me that is magic is confirming the truth. I guess it's something I've known for a while, but I've been trying not to think about it too much because I don't know precisely what it means.
The same old woman I always see appears in front of me, dunking the white dress into the river. Red streaks run into the water, making it seem as if she's washing away blood.
What does it all mean? If it is linked to my magic, then I'm a little worried about what precisely that means I can do.
The woman turns to me, though to my surprise she's not a mirror image of me.
I don't know if it's different from last time, or if I've not been able to see clearly enough to tell before.
There are still similarities between us, and they seem to go deeper than the deathly pale skin and the silver-white hair that we share.
She opens her mouth, a scream ripping free and reverberating through the air.
The sound shocks me, sending my mind spiralling out of the dream.
My eyes snap open, and I find myself looking up into the darkness of my room with the woman's scream reverberating in my ears.
I clutch at my throat, but there's nothing there, probably because I wasn't the one screaming this time.
Despite that, I can still feel myself drenched in sweat, and the echo of the dream is still living within me.
I roll over and grab my handheld mirror, groaning when I see it's already past midnight. A chat notification catches my attention, and I click on it, finding myself in my chat with Cethin.
The timestamp is from half an hour ago, which means he's probably still awake.
I send back.
My heart swells at the fact he's already figured that out. It's nice to have an immediate distraction from everything going around my head.
I take a deep breath. I've only told him bits and pieces of what happens in my dreams before, but maybe it's time I tell him more. I start typing out a message before realising that there's just too much for that.
I throw off the bed covers and pull on some clothes, already feeling relief at the decision to finally properly talk to someone about this.
I leave the flat as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake Nati or my other flatmates. People can be grumpy when they're woken up earlier than they should be.
I hurry down the stairs, making good time to the courtyard. My heart skips a beat when I notice Cethin sitting on the bench, and I make my way over without even questioning whether this is a good idea.
He looks up from his book and a wide smile spreads over his face, though it does nothing to hide the worry lingering there.
I pause, realising I don't know whether I'm supposed to kiss him hello or not. This is still sort of new and it's not like we've had an in-depth conversation about it.
He rises to his feet and pulls me to him, and the moment he leans in, I realise I have the answer to my question. My eyes flutter closed as his lips brush against mine in a surprisingly sweet kiss.
"Talk to me," he murmurs without pulling away very far.
I nod, and gesture for us to sit down on the bench. I rub my left thumb until he reaches out and takes my hand in his.
I take a deep breath. "Okay, so I've been having the dreams since I turned twenty-one."
"You said. I assume that's some kind of milestone for whatever you are," Cethin says.
I frown. "I hadn't considered that, but I guess it makes sense.
There's always some mist, and there are wails in the air.
There's a woman at the river washing clothes.
Normally, I think the woman is me, and that's when I wake up screaming.
" I touch my throat, still able to feel the echo of all the dream-screams.
"Screaming?" he echoes.
I nod. "No one else seems to be able to hear it.
Or it doesn't seem like my flatmates can anyway, they're always asleep when I wake up.
But maybe I'm just not as loud as I think I am.
Tonight was a bit different. I didn't think the woman was me this time, and it was almost as if she was trying to tell me something.
But then she screamed, and I woke up. That hasn't happened before. "
"What about when you were sleepwalking? That didn't seem like you were screaming."
I frown. "No, it didn't. I was wandering around in the mist when I fell. I didn't get as far into the dream as normal. Though maybe that's not true. Maybe I dream about that all the time and just don't notice. Or maybe it's an escalation. I don't know."
"But you think the answers are in your dreams?"
"Yes. I mean, they must be, right? Why else would I be having them?"
"I don't know," he admits. "It's not something I know much about. Although..."
I perk up. "You know something?"
"I know of a potion that might help you communicate with your dream."
"Is that even possible?" I try to keep my hope at bay, but it's impossible to.
He shrugs and runs his thumb over the back of my hand in a surprisingly soothing gesture. "Only if your dream wants to be communicated with."
"I want answers."
"Okay, then let's go." He gets to his feet.
"Where?"
"The Potions Lab."
"You're so casual about breaking into classrooms."
"You want answers, and we can't just brew a potion there during the day, so we should do it now," he says.
I nod. Even if we get caught, it'll be worth it if I discover the answers to what I am. "All right." I join him and reach out to take his hand, loving how natural it feels for us to do that.
Caw!
I jump without meaning to, causing Cethin to laugh.
"I'm guessing that answers that one," he says. "Definitely your familiar."
"Do you want to come with us?" I ask the raven.
It cocks its head to the side.
"I don't have any gifts this time. I haven't found anything perfect," I admit.
Cethin gives me an odd look.
The raven opens its mouth to show me that it doesn't have anything either.
"That's okay," I assure it, ignoring the warlock for the moment. "If neither of us has anything, it's still an even exchange, right?"
Caw.
"So, do you want to come?" Not knowing what else to do, I hold out my arm and kind of pat it.
The raven studies me, and for one moment, I think it's going to fly off again. Instead, it hops towards me and flaps its wings, coming to rest on my shoulder and completely ignoring the arm I offered it.
"I don't even know if you're male or female." Which isn't something I ever thought would bother me, but I want the raven to know that I care about it.
"I can fix that." Cethin clicks his fingers, and some purple smoke rises from his fingers. It floats towards the raven, who doesn't seem in the slightest bit bothered by the spell. "She's female."
"Okay, so I can stop thinking of her as an it, then." I reach up and stroke the raven's head.
He nods. "And you should give her a name."
"What if she doesn't like it?" She pushes her head against my fingers in what seems like an acceptance of my affection.
Or maybe it's a demand for more. I don't speak raven very well, though it seems like it's going to be a skill I need to learn.
Hopefully, there's still space in Familiar Training class. And time in my schedule for it.
"Then I'm sure she'll bite you or something."
"Do birds even bite?"
"I don't know enough about ravens to be sure. Maybe it's just a peck?"
"All right. How about Midnight?" I ask the raven.
She pushes her beak against my fingers.
"Ow, okay. Not Midnight. Erm...Swiftwing?"
She repeats the motion while Cethin stands there and watches with amusement clear on his face.
"Okay, okay. Thistle?" I hold my breath while I wait for the raven to let her displeasure be known, but this time she doesn't do anything. "Thistle it is."
"It's a good name," Cethin agrees.
"It is."
"Come on, let's get to the classroom before anyone catches us here," he says, reminding me that we're still in the middle of the courtyard and that curfew was hours ago. Maybe the staff don't patrol the building as much as they claim to.
"Maybe they should have thought about that before putting the student flats in the same building as the rest of the academy. I understand locking the labs, but why keep us out of places like the courtyard?"
He shrugs. "Maybe they're worried about all the mischief that we could get up to. Or perhaps the castle is haunted, and they're just trying to keep us away from the ghosts."
"Ghosts hardly seem like they'd be that big of a deal compared to some of the students."
"I don't have an explanation for you," he says. "We're just here, so we have to abide by the rules."
"Or actively choose to ignore them," I respond.
He chuckles. "Yes, or that. So let's go break some more." He takes my hand in his.
I don't mind breaking the rules so much when it's with someone like him.