Chapter 3
THE WORST TEXTER
brIAR
As soon as I’m in my apartment and can breathe properly, I pull out my phone and open my text chat with my sister. I let out a grumble at the sight of my unanswered texts—four, to be exact.
And it’s about to be many, many more.
This is a very urgent matter, and I will be wildly frustrated if she doesn’t respond.
BLAIR THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT I NEED 5 MINUTES OF YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
My knuckles are white as I grip my phone. The seconds pass, and for the first time, the read symbol pops up within decent time, followed shortly by her typing bubbles.
Does this have to do with Zander?
Oh no, was I too slow? Has he already texted her and debunked my stupid little act? Gods, why didn’t I correct him?
Yes, he’s in town again, which would’ve been nice to know before I PRETENDED I WAS YOU!
Her typing bubbles appear and disappear a few times, so I sit on my couch while I wait for her response. From my bedroom, I hear a tiny thump, followed by the click-clack of my wiener dog’s nails on the wooden floor.
Girl why??
It took her that long to type two words? Seriously?
Churro uses the little ramp I got her to climb up to the couch, spinning in a few circles before settling next to me. I pet her golden fur a few times before turning my eyes back to the screen.
Blair didn’t text anything else? That really is all she has to say?
I wish I had the answer, but I DON’T KNOW! It just happened, and now I have to be you until you’re back in town…which means I need you to tell me what he texts you so I can meet him places.
It’s read instantly, offering me some relief. At least when I need her to be a good texter, she is. Sort of. Her responses could use some work, but that’s a lot to ask from the world’s worst texter.
So let me get this straight…
You want me to LIE to my best friend that you, my twin, are me. AND you want me to tell you what we’re saying so you can better act as ME??
Well, she’s starting to get it now. That may be the most words she’s ever put in a message to me before.
Yes…?
This is brutal, Briar. brUTAL!! Just tell him how you feel. Gods!
If only it were that simple. Can she not see that I’ve managed to make that an impossible task for myself? How am I supposed to admit my feelings when I’m pretending to be her?
That is literally the issue here.
How do you suppose I do that when I’m YOU?
Yeah eww don’t do that while “you’re me” please.
He’s not EW, but don’t worry, definitely won’t be doing that. So, will you help me out or what?
Her typing bubbles repeat the disappearing and reappearing act they did a few minutes ago.
The stress bubbling inside of me threatens to boil over, my palms sweaty and head spinning.
Fine. BUT I’m only telling you what you need to know, not anything else. You are my sister, my other half, but he is still my best friend.
I guess that’s reasonable, and honestly, probably for the better. Now that Blair is at least aware of the situation, I feel less worried about her letting my mistake slip.
Now, I just have to figure out how to fix my mistake—which is this pretending I’ve found myself doing. I don’t want to pretend around him, even if it has been easier to talk to him when I’m not me.
I won’t ever know how he really feels about me if I’m not, well, me. Am I even going to have a chance with him if he finds out I’ve lied to him and pretended to be my sister?
Do I just come clean? Or do I try to get through the week in order to pretend like it never happened?
Gods, I just need to come clean…but how? When?
It feels awful to have lied to him. And now, more than ever, I think there might actually be a chance that he reciprocates my feelings.
I mean, he said at sushi that he’s still working up the courage to tell someone his true feelings. If he’s back here, it’s less likely to be some girl he met when he was off at college…right?
To my knowledge, he hasn’t been overly interested in any of the women in our hometown either. Even when we were all in high school, he only briefly dated a few girls. The memories still haunt me.
The way I wished it were me, but was too fearful and stuck in my head to say anything. Blair always told me I should just go for it, but I could never tell if there was a basis to her encouragement or not.
My phone buzzes again, and I’m surprised to see that I have another text from Blair—she never double texts.
You know, he’ll probably understand if you tell him that you only pretended because he makes you so nervous you could faint ;)
I shake my head at my phone, my scoff-like laugh startling Churro enough to lift her head and look up at me. I pet her a few times to settle her back into a snuggle before I message Blair.
I might die of embarrassment if I do that, but thanks for the super helpful tip.
The text shows as read, and this time no typing bubbles follow it. Well, I’m glad she could actually respond when I needed her to. And she agreed to go along with this for the most part, thank goodness.
After setting my phone down, my hands instantly gravitate to each other. I can’t help but pick at my cuticles, using my own previous damage to continue on.
My fingers are going to throb tomorrow morning, but I can’t help it. I’ve tried to quit, and while I’m sometimes successful for a short period, the habit always finds me again. The worst part is that I don’t even hate it until I have to deal with the consequences.
Strenuously, I rise from the couch. Churro slides into the warmth where I was sitting, stretching out. Oh my goodness, she looks so cute right now.
Slowly and carefully, I pick my phone up and snap a picture. There’s no such thing as too many photos of your pet, and the Instagram I set up for her will agree.
After I get ready for bed, I’ll post it. Hopefully, I can sleep tonight, but by the way my heart races even now, an hour after I last saw Zander…I fear sleep won’t come easy.