Chapter 3
THREE
It was like one of those patterned posters with a hidden image buried in its madness. Where, when first looking at it, all you could see were a lot of repeating shapes and colors. A bunch of bright, neon nonsense that made you a little dizzy. But if you kept your eyelids open and stared?
Suddenly, a hidden image came through.
Something that had been there all along, just beneath the surface. Now realized because you took the time to focus.
And once you saw that picture?
It was nearly impossible to see anything but that.
That's how Benny felt the moment after kissing Jack Knox.
Logically, Benny knew the bartender was attractive before his lips had crashed into his.
Physically, Benny had known it too. He had become a bit nervous when talking to Jack, after all.
And wasn’t that a cue to the choir that Benny had at least subconsciously acknowledged the man had some key notes he appreciated?
So, after, when Benny had placed his hands against Jack’s chest to steady himself through the process of the world becoming chaos and then becoming Jack’s rugged and cut jawline, it only felt right to note the hardness of the man’s body beneath his hands.
Who didn't like the classic aloof bartender type?
Topped off with messy, dark bedroom hair and a set of hazel eyes that belonged in an expensive flower arrangement, and a constant hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips?
The same lips that felt electric when they crashed into yours?
Add in a five-o’clock shadow that felt like a choice rather than a forgotten chore and the entire visual package of Jack zipped into clarity.
Benny wasn't about to say he disliked any of that.
No sirree Bob.
He, in fact, found out how much of a fan of this re-imagined picture he was when Jack broke their surprise kiss and left him wanting more right then and there, lips parted and face warm.
So much so that Benny plum forgot where they were for a moment.
“I'm sorry,” Jack said, voice a low thrumming complement to his lips. “I know I said we should keep a low profile, but I couldn't help it. What can I say? I’m selfish. I want people to know about us. Plus, hiding has never been my strong suit.”
Jack pulled back, taking his hands and lips with him. His gaze swept to Benny's right at the sound of a gasp. Then Benny remembered where they were.
Ruby’s eyes were wide. Carol’s were narrowed.
Benny didn’t understand the kiss, but he had enough self-preservation instinct to play along. Even if it meant following the lead of a man he didn’t actually know.
“Oh, uh—Well, I guess it's o-okay,” Benny stammered. He let his gaze sweep across the booth without staying on any one person for long. “I mean, secrets do become hard to keep in a town this small.”
Jack smiled.
Not a smirk, a smile.
It activated another wave of heat that traveled up from Benny's stomach and pooled in his cheeks.
If confusion and embarrassment were quarters and pennies, Benny would be Scrooge McDuck swimming through stacks of silver and copper in a vault.
At least Benny wasn't the only one trying to understand what was happening.
“Hold on, hold on.” Carol's eyebrow arched as her hand poised in the air, index finger pointing at Jack.
Benny wasn't even going to chance a look at her brother.
Since Benny had sat down with the group pre-Jack kiss, Marcus had gone from polite to lost in his phone within five minutes.
His attention had, thankfully, not been on the multitude of questions Carol and Co.
had asked Benny about The One Who Said Nothing and Guy.
If Benny hadn't caught a flash of his phone to see it was a text message conversation, he would have worried Marcus was searching the blog out or Googling him.
Now, though, Benny knew his crush was staring at the scene unfolding in front of him.
Not that he blamed anyone.
The bar had gone suspiciously quiet.
Aside from Carol, that was.
“Are you telling me that you two are a thing?” Carol kept her finger trained on Jack, but her suspicion was all over the place. “Jack Knox, the bartender who’s known for not liking people, and Benny? I didn't even know you knew each other.”
Jack’s arm was as fast as his lips. He pulled Benny against his side, forcing them both to face the music head on.
“Just because you know most things that go on in town doesn't mean you know them all,” Jack answered. “You didn’t even know about this one’s blog until he posted it, right?”
Carol took a beat before fanning the flames.
“True, but I guess I'm just surprised is all. I mean, his entire thing right now is about lost love over this ‘Guy’ and—” Her eyes widened.
She jabbed her red-tipped nail in Jack's direction again but was looking at no one but Benny.
“Wait. Are you saying that he is Guy? The Guy from your blog?”
Benny might have imagined it, but he could have sworn crickets were chirping in the distance.
His heartbeat started to gallop.
His ears and cheeks burned hotter.
The memories of nine years' worth of DearMe posts became giant neon signs glaring in his mind's eye. They all warned him to never let his truth see the light of day.
No matter what.
This time, though, Benny wasn’t just alone in front of a computer screen.
He wasn’t just lamenting about the love he’d been carrying within for the golden boy of Arbor Bay.
Right now, he was with Marcus Robertson.
Close enough to look at him.
And so Benny did.
Hands down, Marcus was one of the most beautiful men Benny had ever seen.
Golden-haired with soft curls that paid tribute to his boyish charm, blue eyes that held the depth of an ocean of compassion within them, a face filled with movie star angles, and a smile that had spent its existence learning how to win what it wanted.
But Benny had never cared too much for the qualities like these that had made many people in Arbor Bay swoon.
No.
It had been the warmth beneath that Benny had been wholly affected by.
That warmth and the memory of that perfect day, years ago in the park.
The day he'd fallen in love with the perfect guy.
The day the blog had first met Guy.
Since then, it hadn’t mattered what stage of life Benny experienced. He’d always been able to go back and feel that day again just by remembering it.
A feeling that he had typed out in an attempt to keep it close for as long as possible.
Why hadn't he told Marcus how he'd felt?
Well, why mess with perfection?
And now?
Now he was engaged, living a life that had seemingly continued to go his way.
Benny had been out of his orbit for almost a decade, living a much different life outside of the zip code where he’d grown up.
Benny could no more tell Marcus the truth than he could stop blushing while feeling the weight of his stare now.
Maybe that’s why Benny's heart made a decision before his brain could really think it through.
This time he wasn't going to focus on his first love.
This time he was doubling down on self-preservation.
Benny placed his hand on Jack's chest and patted it.
“Why do you think I came back to town?” he asked. “I thought it was finally time to come clean about how I felt. Like you said, Carol, it's no fun when it's one-sided.”
Jack squeezed him into his side. His body didn't give an inch. Sturdy, steady.
“That's right,” Jack said. “There I was, working, and he just jumps up on the barstool and lays it all out for me. This one's surprisingly fierce, I tell you.”
Benny shared a look with the man.
He didn’t understand the why of his actions, but that didn’t mean Benny wanted to do less than his new counterpart.
He just forgot about his awkwardness a little bit.
“And this one is…” His words stalled out. The only thing he knew about Jack was that he worked at a bar. “Well, he’s—”
“Ready to get out of here,” Jack interrupted. His smile went customer-service polite as he swung it to Carol. “Benny and I were supposed to go out tonight, but I had to come in to do a few things first. Now we can finally turn tail and go.”
Carol was quick.
“So why don't you join us now?” she offered. “We'd love to be the first to get the inside scoop on this interesting new relationship. Or, I guess I should say, new to us.”
Her eyes narrowed again.
Benny suppressed a wail of panic.
“Sorry, but we'll have to rain check that,” Jack answered, also not wailing. “We have some plans we can’t get out of at the moment.”
Carol opened her mouth to respond, but Jack had already turned the two of them around in one fluid movement.
“Thanks for the drink,” Benny called over his shoulder.
The Queen Bee of Arbor Bay didn’t call back.
Benny let himself be led to the bar, where two more curious faces met them. Dixon and the waitress he knew was named Santana were wide-eyed as they looked between them. Jack dropped his hold long enough to take his nametag off and throw it to Dixon.
He lowered his voice so only the four of them could hear.
“I'm leaving for the night. I'll explain later and make it up to you. Cool?” Dixon nodded. “I'll also clear out his tab tomorrow.”
The two had no follow-up questions—a trait Carol could stand to learn—and said nothing as Jack placed his freehand on the back of Benny’s back.
He began to push him toward the door.
“Let's get out of here.”
Benny’s self-preservation finally asked a question.
“Where are we going?”
Jack's voice went low again, so that only the two of them could hear his response.
“Anywhere without a Robertson.”
Benny couldn’t help the word that slipped out after that.
“Amen.”
* * *
Cassidy's Place was on the outskirts of Arbor Bay and mostly hidden in the woods.
There was a small community of houses in the neighboring clump of trees but, for the most part, Cassidy's had always felt isolated.
Which went hand-in-hand with what a good bar offered in the first place.
An escape. A respite from the normal. A hidden oasis in the dry desert of life.
At least, that's how Jack had always felt.