Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Benny was re-running the numbers on how fast he could buy a plane ticket, pack up his life, and disappear into the unknown icy tundra.
Again.
This time, he wasn’t on the floor of a classroom in turmoil over his blog.
This time he was staring at his reflection, wearing a bikini top that was, for whatever reason, covered in feathers.
The man reflected behind him had on a much more tolerable outfit.
And a badly-concealed smile.
“It’s not that bad,” Ethan tried.
“It’s not that good either,” Benny returned.
His outfit looked like it had been built from discount lingerie, rolled in glue and wayward floor glitter, and then topped with the stray feather.
“I just don’t see what the vision was for this one,” he continued. “This is supposed to be a mermaid thing, right? Shouldn’t it be—I don’t know—more fish-like?”
The top was mermaid, the bottoms were merman.
At least that’s what the packages had said.
Looking down at the pseudo tights, which were awkwardly snug at the groin but somehow not the legs, he wasn’t sure why either outfit piece had been created. Never mind the two costumes combined for maximum humor.
Ethan tilted his head to the side and looked Benny up and down. Then he moved his eyepatch to his other eye and did it again.
“Maybe you could pretend to be a merman who fought a pirate? You know, one of those with the parrots on their shoulder.”
“So I killed his bird and decided to wear it?”
Ethan liked the idea.
“Donning thy enemy's loyal pet's feathers as a reminder to him and the rest of his dirty scoundrels to leave you alone? I don’t know. Thematically it kind of works.”
Benny opened his mouth to argue but realized there was really no point to it.
The pageant was around the corner. He and Jack were already in for a penny, a pound, and a sure-to-be awkward performance.
Feathers or not, he wasn’t looking to win. He just wanted to not embarrass them too badly.
Another glance in the mirror and he decided, time constraints or not, he currently was the thing he feared he’d become.
“This is just too awkward,” he said, sigh heavy. “I mean, even for a cheesy pageant, it’s…it’s so much skin up here and so…”
He tried to find the right words for whatever was happening with his crotch.
Ethan was not gracious with it.
“It makes you look like you’re smuggling fruit in the front but weirdly have a diaper on in the back.”
“Oh my God,” Benny realized. “That’s exactly it. Tight in front, saggy in the back.”
“Not the sexiest descriptor.”
“Definitely not one I’d want on stage with me.”
They took another long look in the mirror.
Then Ethan was laughing.
“I told you this place has two moods—stock Halloween costumes year-round and then really funky stuff that either works really well or doesn't. I’m sure this worked for someone. Just maybe not you.”
Benny agreed with another trailing sigh.
He stalked back into his stall and eyed the other two costumes hanging on its hooks. One was a shark costume, the other was some kind of unisex sea creature with a tail. A sexy unisex sea creature with a tail. The top was a glorified green napkin.
“You know, you'd be singing a different tune if you were in my shoes,” he called through the door, sadly eyeing said sea creature for his next try-on attempt. “You get to play it safe with your sailor or pirate-whatever character thing you picked out. And you don’t have to go on stage.”
“Correction: I don’t have to go on stage for the pageant, but I’m front and center at the Little Fishies in the Bay play,” Ethan shot back.
“And I’ll tell you what, you don’t want to be wearing anything that shows your midriff when you’re chasing around a bunch of hyped up five-year-olds.
I still have nightmares of Nate Calloway using my arm as a tissue when he had that snot attack on stage last year.
The eyepatch isn’t all for show. It can also be a helpful shield. ”
Benny cringed as he shimmied out of his less-than-flattering costume. A feather fell off in the process. He panicked and stuffed it into his messenger bag.
There was no way he was paying for the risqué hybrid monstrosity.
“Well, still, I wish I could be a sailor instead,” he said after a moment. “Whatever talent we end up going with will probably be way easier if I had on a secure outfit. One that maybe didn’t, as you said, make it seem like I’m smuggling anything down there.”
“Then just be a sailor? Just because you’re a bottom doesn’t mean you have to be the most feminine character between you and Jack. That’s a stereotype, you know.”
The pilot flame in Benny’s face flared on to that.
“Ethan,” he chided.
Ethan laughed.
“What? You’re the one who told me that when you went to that one theme dinner date in college you weren’t wearing pink just because you like to—”
“Ethan! We are in a public place!”
He imagined his friend waving the concern off as his tone was nonchalant.
“There were like two people in the store when we came in and we’d hear if someone walked up on us since the floor is as sticky as my classroom.
Plus, I’m not wrong. If you don’t want to have two sailors, why not just make Jack be the merman?
Honestly, it would probably be pretty funny.
Plus, I feel like he has a sleeper build under all those button up shirts.
Might get you some bonus points if you show off his abs. ”
Benny wanted to address all the issues—starting with the fact he wasn’t trying to be a merman because of where he preferred to be during sex—but then the second he lingered on the idea of sex, he was instantly transported back to his bedroom the night before.
They’d both snuck into the shower, rinsed off, and gotten back into bed.
Much to Benny’s already steady-at-sky-level surprise.
“I’ll give it to you there, sweet cheeks,” Jack had said while slipping his legs under the sheets. “That might not have been the whole show, but that number kind of wiped me out. Let me close my eyes for a bit and then I’ll get out of your hair.”
The way he was so casual about both covering each other’s stomachs minutes beforehand convinced Benny to also play it casual.
“Whatever works for you,” he’d said lamely.
He might have overcompensated.
Whatever worked for Jack, though, ended up being a man who was made of Velcro.
Benny had already decided sleep was the last thing he could manage when a lightly snoring Jack had rolled over and grabbed onto him.
With only the thin material of their underwear between them, Jack had molded around Benny’s back like a memory foam mattress.
Benny hadn’t known what to do with himself after that.
Instead, he’d focused on Jack’s arm that had him pinned against his chest until, finally, he’d fallen asleep in the worry.
When he’d woken up that morning, the arm wasn’t there anymore.
Neither was Jack.
He was gone and hadn’t left a note, a text, or even an alert through Callum that he’d been spotted leaving through the front door.
Or the window.
Benny had been a little salty about it then, and now he was even more so.
No word after sex was bad but somehow no word after their sunburn-fueled tandem show and snuggle session after?
Well, for whatever reason, each hour that went by without a word from the bartender just felt like avoidance.
And Benny knew that because…that’s exactly what he was doing.
“You alive in there?” Ethan’s voice made him start.
Benny was.
Alive and confused.
That should be the tagline of his potential future book—if he could find the right ending to the whole Guy story. Even with everything that had happened, which had already given him more than enough content to fill several chapters.
Benny sighed.
“I’m here,” he finally said. “Just trying to de-feather my body at the moment. And my life.”
He heard Ethan chuckle.
“I’ll let you handle the body part of that process, but how about I treat us to lunch?
It’s been a while since you’ve been in town this long and you can use me as a sounding board about your life choices.
Though you can’t get mad if my advice ends up sucking.
Considering you’ve been keeping pretty big secrets lately, it’s only fair that I get to bag on them if I so do see fit. Deal?”
Benny narrowed his eyes.
Another feather had somehow found its way to the floor.
“Fine,” he relented. “I’ll accept constructive criticism. But only since you’re paying.”
“Why do you think I offered?”
Benny bought the tight and saggy merman tights, left the feather top behind, and tried to ignore the feeling of pending embarrassment by wholeheartedly focusing on free food.
So much so that when a sign let them know about a bar and grille coming up on the right, he actually did a little jump in the passenger’s seat.
“Oh my God.”
Ethan jumped.
Benny pointed, a new kind of excitement in him.
“Let’s go there!”
The kindergarten teacher’s expression went to admonishment fast. Luckily, he spotted the name before Benny could get a reprimand.
“The Drinking Spot,” he read. “Isn’t that the bar that’s competing with Cassidy’s Place?”
Benny nodded.
He might not know exactly where he stood with the bartender, but that didn’t mean Benny couldn’t stay true to his original intent.
“Want to be spies while we eat?” he asked.
Ethan flipped the blinker on.
“As long as we don’t do anything that gets us arrested, I’m in.”
* * *
Jack was staring at not one, not two, but seven boxes of tampons. Some were sporty. Some were cardboard. Super, regular, slim. One even claimed to be pocket-sized.
All were sitting on his coffee table.
Dixon was across from them, fingers steepled in front of his face, staring at the collection in deep thought.
“When I heard you walking around out here, this isn't what I expected to find.”
Jack took a seat in the armchair next to the couch. Dixon looked at him. There was a surprising amount of fire behind his eyes.
He couldn’t help asking what was wrong.