Chapter 30
‘He asked you out?’
Sally was peering at her with wide eyes over the top of her wine glass.
‘No! Not like that. I’ve told you, we don’t get on.’
‘Yeah, so you keep saying. But he asked you out?’
‘That’s not what he meant. He didn’t mean we should actually go out with each other.’
‘Ahh,’ Sally nodded sagely. ‘I understand. He asked you out but he didn’t want you to go out with him. And he had been helping you but you don’t like each other.’
‘Yes. Well, no. We sort of like each other now. Just as friends, you know. Nothing more. Absolutely nothing more. And he helped me because of Aunt Lizzie.’
‘And did he ask you out because of Aunt Lizzie?’
‘He didn’t ask me out. He just suggested we meet for a drink and a meal.’
‘Classic definition of going out, honey.’
‘Yes, but not like that. Because…’
‘Let me guess. Because you don’t like each other!’
‘Yes. Exactly.’
Not sure if she’d made her point or not, in fact, a little confused about what her point was, Beth slipped into silence. She had left Welby the day after the council meeting, her beach hut had been saved and it was time to return to Bristol, Sally’s settee and the dismal job of flat hunting.
During the process of emptying several bottles of wine, Beth had attempted to explain to Sally exactly how she felt about the man with the merman eyes. Except it was proving somewhat difficult, because Beth was very unclear as to the exact nature of any relationship she may or may not have with Jake Balfour.
‘It’s not like that,’ she tried again weakly. ‘Not at all. And anyway, I’ve told you, he’s back with Portia. Why would he ask me out just when he gets back with his girlfriend? Who he loves. Very much according to Lavinia.’
Sally shrugged. ‘Perhaps he’s back with her because he thought it was for the best. But he can’t stop thinking about the girl with the blue eyes,’ she said wickedly.
Beth sighed and stared into her wine. Sally didn’t understand. Why would she? Beth didn’t understand herself.
‘He’s very annoying,’ she murmured, almost to herself.
‘So you’ve said. Several times.’
‘And quite rude.’
‘Again, not the first time you’ve mentioned it.’
‘Although he does have nice eyes,’ mused Beth.
‘Green, like the sea. A dark edge round the iris and black eyelashes that look as though they’ve been curled,’ intoned Sally.
Beth stared at her friend in surprise.
‘Yep, you’ve mentioned that a few times as well.’
‘Have I? I suppose they are quite nice. Not that they make up for how irritating he is.’
‘Of course not,’ smiled Sally. ‘Not at all.’
‘I don’t like him,’ insisted Beth. ‘Not at all.’
‘Of course you don’t, honey. Of course you don’t.’
‘I just can't stop thinking about him!’
‘That will be because you don't like him.’
‘I think I do like him,’ admitted Beth, sipping her wine thoughtfully. ‘I don't mean I like him. But I don't not like him, you know?’
‘Not really.’
‘He is annoying and irritating and all those things but he was so kind and helpful.’
‘And that’s when you decided to like him.’
‘I suppose.’
‘Complicated, isn't it?’ asked Sally.
‘What?
‘Love.’
Beth stared into her glass for a while. The thought of going back into the office on Monday morning was hanging heavily on her mind. She had no doubt it would look just the same, same people, same desk, same shaft of sunbeams from the window that always caught the edge of Beth's inbox. It would all be the same, except for Beth. She was different.
In Welby, she had been almost fierce. She had refused to let anyone tell her what to do and she had rescued Aunt Lizzie’s beach hut. Now she had to go back to being sensible Beth, good-natured Beth, pushover Beth.
‘I think I need a change.’
‘We could try the new sandwich shop round the corner for lunch tomorrow,’ suggested Sally. ‘It’s supposed to be pretty good.’
‘Not that kind of change.’
‘Okay. Well, we could go to a club tonight. I know you're not a clubbing type of person but you’ll like this one. Everything is painted pink so it will be like being back in your beach hut,’ laughed Sally. ‘We can spend the night drinking cocktails.’
‘Not that kind of change either,’ sighed Beth.
‘Then I need some kind of clue here because I don't have a lot more to offer. Not for your average Sunday evening. I mean give me some time and I could come up with a humdinger of a plan but…’
She stopped and watched her friend stare into her glass.
‘But that’s not the sort of change you want either, is it?’ she asked softly.
Beth shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Are we talking major life change?’
‘I think so. I just feel…I don't know. Different?’
Sally nodded sagely. ‘Ah well, you are different. Let's face it, you are now a warrior. You took on the establishment and beat them soundly. You refused to be pushed around or told what to do. You have become a force to be reckoned with in fact, you, Beth Carter, have become what can only be described as a strong independent woman, capable of anything.’
Beth couldn’t help laughing as she reached out a leg and kicked her friend gently.
‘Very funny.’
‘But I’m not being funny.’ Suddenly serious, Sally leaned forward. ‘You found yourself, honey. The best thing that could have happened to you is breaking up with Matthew. And maybe you’re right, now is the time to carry on changing. So, I suppose the question is, what do you want?’
Nibbling on her lip, Beth thought for a while. She wanted to be back in Welby. She wanted to wake up to the smell and sound of the sea. She wanted to walk across the sand and feel it between her toes. She wanted to sit on the balcony and chat with Lavinia and Sam. And if she were honest, brutally honest, she wanted Jake Balfour.
But he wasn't available. He had forgiven Portia and moved back to his stone cottage overlooking the sea, and had probably forgotten all about Beth by now.
She shrugged. ‘I don't know. Just something else, I suppose.’
‘Is it Matthew? I thought you were over him?’
‘I am over him. But everybody is moving on, starting the next chapter of their life. And it’s time for me to do the same.’
Matthew was probably in Laura’s penthouse flat, worried about getting chocolate on the cream settee. Maybe they would get married and Matthew could move up to the 8 th floor and be a true executive with his own parking space and a corner office. But Beth didn’t care about Matthew. Not anymore.
‘I don't want to carry on working at Stretch Your Horizons,’ Beth said, her voice cracking. ‘I don't want to move into a damp little flat by myself. I want… I want…’
‘Green eyes?’ asked Sally hopefully.
Beth smiled sadly. ‘No. That moment has passed, if there ever was a moment. But I need to start doing what I want to do, not what anybody else thinks I should do.’
She looked pleadingly at her friend. ‘Am I mad?’ she asked, suddenly unsure. ‘Am I totally insane? Should I…?’’
But the end of the sentence was lost in Sally’s shoulder as she was pulled in for a fierce hug, wine slopping over the settee and their arms.
‘Oh, Beth honey, of course not. I’ve really no idea what it is you want or where you’re going to find it but you do absolutely right to go looking. Do it! Find your new life and make yourself happy.’