8. Chapter Eight #2
When she was around her siblings, no one talked about him.
Sure, they’d throw his name around when they were at work—using what they thought he would and wouldn’t have approved of as a way to convince the other siblings to do something.
Outside of work, they never talked about him and the fun memories they had of him.
It was like they were all afraid they would get lost in the grief or something.
“I’m sorry I’ll never get to meet him.”
“He would have liked you and Gus.” Just then they pulled up in front of their duplex.
Simon was quick to get out of the cart. At the beginning of the edge of the sidewalk, he paused and turned to her. “Thank you for lunch. You were right. The food was really good. I’ll definitely be going back there.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
He smiled and nodded. “I’d like that. Well, I need to go let Gus out. He probably thinks I forgot about him.”
She nodded. “And I have some stuff to do.”
She didn’t. Not really. But she didn’t want to sound pathetic—like she didn’t have a life outside of work.
As she watched Simon walk away, she was distracted when a cart pulled up. She turned to find it was Myra.
Myra got out and walked up to her. “I heard you had lunch with McHottie.”
Jenna groaned. “Don’t call him that.”
“Why not? It’s true, right?”
Jenna didn’t want to answer her sister’s question. It would just egg her on. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I visit my sister?”
Jenna shrugged. “Sure. Come on. I think I’m going to need some coffee.”
She had a feeling that Simon was going to come up a lot in their conversation. She’d need the caffeine to keep from falling into one of her sister’s word traps.
The words flowed, one after the other.
Simon spent the rest of the afternoon on the back deck.
He defeated the blinking cursor. His fingers moved so quickly over the keyboard that the cursor didn’t have a chance to blink at him.
It was like the writer’s block had disappeared, and now his fingers were struggling to keep up with the words that flowed from his mind.
He’d just finished the fourth chapter of his book, when he had a thought. He reached for his notebook where he jotted down ideas that would impact the book later down the line. That’s when he remembered his favorite pen was missing.
It was an expensive pen that had his name engraved on it. It had been a present from his parents when he’d gotten his first book published. His mother liked to say that a writer should have a special pen.
He got to his feet and looked around. He didn’t think the pen could fall between the boards of the deck. He searched his chair. It was nowhere to be found. How could that be? Two pens were now missing. At this rate, he’d have to buy a case of them.
Still, this wasn’t any pen. He needed to find it. He must have left it inside. Yes, that must be it. He would look for it when he went inside.
He just started the fifth chapter, when a notice flashed on the computer screen that he’d just received an email from his agent. This was the moment he’d been waiting for.
When he’d initially sent the second chapter, he’d wanted to know if the story had merit or not, but now that he was on the fifth chapter, he was invested in this character.
He had to tell his story. He hesitated to read the email.
He felt anxious about reading his agent’s feedback.
If she hated the concept, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
And so, for a moment, he let the cursor blink at him as he leaned back in his chair and stared out at the ocean.
He noticed that the water wasn’t as calm as it had been the day before.
There was word of a storm headed up the coastline.
He hoped it wasn’t a big storm. The thought of being trapped on the island during a big storm left him a bit unnerved.
Realizing he was just wasting time putting off the inevitable, he turned his attention back to his laptop. He opened his email app and clicked on the email.
Hey, thanks for sending through your second chapter. I liked it. It’s definitely a lot different than your last series.
Simon knew just from those few sentences that the chapter hadn’t worked for her. She wasn’t a blunt person. Somehow she thought taking her time, instead of just getting to the point would make the rejection or criticism sting less. It didn’t.
But since they’d been working together for nine years now, he’d gotten used to her approach. He would skim over the beginning parts of her email until he got to the constructive part.
Even though you have a powerful opening that draws in the reader, I think your hero needs a greater motivation other than tracking down his intergalactic dog.
Simon paused and glanced toward the ocean. He found it calming.
As though he sensed something was wrong, Gus walked over to him and nosed Simon’s hand so he would pet his head. Simon’s fingers stroked Gus’s head.
If Gwen had a dog, which he knew for a fact that she did not, then maybe she would understand the strong bond between a human and their four-footed friend. It was something extra special.
Simon looked back at his laptop and continued reading his agent’s email.
I won’t tell you what the hero’s journey needs to be, but if you want it to span an entire series, it needs to be super strong. It needs to be relatable to the majority of readers. And you’re going to need to pull on heartstrings.
Heartstrings? Was she serious? He didn’t write romance. He was writing science fiction/action fiction.
We’re running out of time. I’ve been putting off your editor, but I can’t do that much longer. I need a new chapter one by Monday. Remember, we need to hit on the emotions as much as the action.