Chapter Nine – Tessa
“Sweet dreams,” Tessa whispered as she closed the door to Lucy’s room and headed downstairs, even though she was ready to go to bed and have her own sweet dreams.
About one certain Thornberg brother.
But before she could allow herself that luxury, she had to make sure Rachel was okay.
“I should be back on my feet in a day or two.” Rachel flexed her foot slightly, wincing only a little as Tessa joined her in the living room.
“That’s good,” Tessa replied. And it was. It was wonderful news. Exactly what they all wanted.
So why did the thought make her stomach tighten with something that felt suspiciously like panic?She mentally shook her head. She knew exactly why. Once Rachel was back on her feet, Tessa would no longer be needed to stand in for her shifts.
Which meant no more delicious encounters with Matt. No more stolen glances. Or glasses of wine shared in the courtyard.
“Is it?” Rachel asked as if she could read her friend’s mind. Which, in a way, she probably could. They had known each other long enough to pick up on small changes in mood or tone of voice.
“Of course.” Tessa flipped open her sketchbook and bent her head over it, hoping the curtain of her hair would hide the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
She immediately winced at asking such a leading question.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Rachel gave Tessa a small smile as she picked up the TV remote and flipped through the channels. “When you came home this afternoon, you had that look.” She twirled the remote in a circle and pointed at Tessa’s face.
“What look?” Tessa asked innocently as her pencil moved across the paper, tracing the outline of the courtyard’s stone walls, the climbing vines, and the terracotta pots overflowing with herbs.
“The one where your eyes shine all bright, and your cheeks are a smidge flushed,” Rachel teased. “Like the one you wore when Jeff Winters invited you to the Snow Ball.”
“Pf-ft,” Tessa said, trying to deflect. “It was warm in the restaurant. That’s all.”
“That might explain the flushed cheeks…” Rachel rolled a little on the sofa so she could get a better look at Tessa. “But the bright eyes…”
“If you must know, that was probably because I had a small glass of wine.” Tessa leaned back and looked at her sketch with a critical eye.
The garden took shape, but something was missing.
Her hand seemed to move of its own accord, adding a figure near the wrought-iron bench…
a figure with broad shoulders, a particular way of standing, like he was in control of his environment.
There was something primal about him. Not in a threatening way. It was more protective.
Yes. That was it. Matt Thornberg was a man who would provide for and protect those people he cared about.
And she wanted to be one of those people.
“A small glass of wine, huh?” Rachel’s teasing tone broke through her thoughts.
“Yes.” Tessa didn’t offer any more details as Matt’s shape emerged from her pencil without conscious intention.
The set of his shoulders as he leaned forward to explain the different herbs.
The tilt of his head as he listened to her talk about her work.
The quiet presence that somehow filled a space without dominating it.
“You must have made an impression,” Rachel said lightly. “Because I have never been offered a glass of wine after my shift.”
Tessa shrugged and looked up at Rachel. “I guess Matt was just grateful I was covering for you since it was so busy at the restaurant.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “So it was Matt. I knew it!”
She was doomed. Rachel would never let this go now, so Tessa decided to come clean.
“Okay. It was nice. And, yes, I’m attracted to him,” Tessa finally admitted in a low voice, the words coming out almost annoyed, as if she were confessing to something foolish. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m only here temporarily, and the last thing you need is workplace drama if things go sideways.”
“Oh, no.” Rachel shook her head. “Don’t use me as an excuse.”
Tessa looked up, her pencil going still. “What?”
“Don’t use me as an excuse,” Rachel repeated, her eyes kind but direct. “Or the girls, or your work, or any of the dozen perfectly reasonable-sounding reasons you’re probably lining up in your head right now.”
“I’m not…” Tessa began, then stopped. Because wasn’t that exactly what she’d been doing? Constructing a careful wall of practical concerns to shield herself from the terrifying possibility of wanting something…someone…for herself?
“You’ve been putting your life on hold for long enough, Tess,” Rachel continued, her teasing tone gone. “Now it’s time to put yourself first.”
The words landed with the force of absolute truth, leaving Tessa momentarily speechless. Her throat tightened.
“If it feels right,” Rachel said, “if he feels right... You should go for it. Not recklessly. Not to chase some fantasy. But because you deserve to live your own life now.”
“It’s not that simple,” Tessa managed, her voice barely above a whisper. “The timing is all wrong. I’m still processing Mom’s death. My life isn’t in Bear Creek. Everything about this…” she gestured vaguely, encompassing the house, the town, Matt, everything “…is temporary.”
But even as the words left her mouth, she recognized them for the shields they were. The real truth bubbled up from somewhere deeper, spilling out before she could stop it.
“I don’t think I could bear to love someone and lose them,” she admitted, her voice cracking slightly. “Not yet. I don’t think I’m strong enough.”
There it was, the wound at the center of everything, exposed to the air. Grief had hollowed her out, leaving her afraid to fill the space with anything that might be taken away again.
Rachel didn’t promise that it wasn’t going to happen. She didn’t tell Tessa it would all be okay. She simply nodded, understanding in her eyes. “You don’t have to choose ‘all in’ tonight, Tess,” she said after a moment. “You just have to stop choosing ‘nothing’ by default.”
The simple wisdom of it struck Tessa, resonating through her entire body. Stop choosing nothing by default. Was that what she’d been doing? Creating a life defined by its absences rather than its potential?
“I’ll try,” Tessa whispered.
“And you know I am here for you,” Rachel said. And this was a promise. One, Tessa knew her best friend would keep.
“I know,” Tessa said as she choked back tears.
“Now, I am going to watch TV while you focus on that sketch.” Rachel turned her attention back to the TV, some reality show or other, while Tessa stared at her sketch.
Rachel was right, somewhere along the road her life had taken, Tessa had chosen the safe option.
The path of least resistance. No risk meant no loss.
It had been so much easier to pour all of her energy into taking care of others—first her mother, now Rachel and the girls—than to face the terrifying prospect of wanting something for herself.
But Matt had reached past those defenses and touched something inside her that had been dormant for too long. Had made something in her heart stir in a way it hadn’t for a long time. Maybe ever.
The courtyard had been magical, not just because of its beauty, but because of how Matt had shared it with her. The way he’d watched her sketch. How he delicately pinched sprigs of rosemary for her to smell. The obvious love in his voice when he spoke about his mother’s birthday gift.
What she felt for Matt wasn’t just attraction. It was the recognition of something deeper.A connection she’d never truly felt with anyone else. Not in the romantic sense.
Tessa’s fingers traced the outline of Matt’s figure in her sketch. She hadn’t meant to draw him there in the courtyard garden, but her hand had known what her mind was still struggling to accept. He belonged in the picture. He fit.
And maybe—just maybe—he could fit into her life too.
She’d been hiding. Using Rachel’s injury, her own grief, her temporary status in Bear Creek—all as shields against the possibility of wanting more. Of wanting him.
The realization made her chest tighten. Not with panic this time, but with something that felt dangerously like hope.
What would it be like to stop choosing nothing? To actually reach out and take what she wanted for once?
Tessa’s gaze lingered on the sketch, her throat tight with emotion. Matt’s figure seemed to stare back at her from the page, patient and steady, as if he’d wait for as long as it took for her to make up her mind.
“I’m going to head to bed,” Rachel announced, interrupting Tessa’s thoughts. She set the remote down and shifted, preparing to stand.
“Let me help you,” Tessa said automatically, setting her sketchbook aside and rising from her chair.
Rachel waved her off. “I can manage.”
“I know you can,” Tessa told her. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept help when it’s offered.” She raised an eyebrow at Rachel, who cracked a smile.
“Okay, I get it. I’m not the only one offering life advice today.” Rachel held out her arms, and Tessa helped her to stand.
“We’re such a pair,” Tessa said, supporting Rachel’s weight as they made their way across the room and along the hallway to the stairs.
“Aren’t we just?” Rachel winced as she stepped onto the first stair.
“You could shuffle up on your bottom like last night,” Tessa said.
“I could,” Rachel said with a grimace as she gripped the banister. “But I’m not going to. I need to start putting weight on this ankle if I’m going to get back to work.”
“Not too much weight,” Tessa cautioned as she supported Rachel on her weaker side. “I know you like to be independent, but if you push too hard, too fast...”
“I know, I know,” Rachel said. “But it’s hard.” She paused halfway up the stairs. “Being a single parent is tough. It’s like all of a sudden the responsibility all rests with me.”
“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” Tessa assured her.
“And if you fall in love and marry Matt Thornberg, then you’ll be here in Bear Creek forever.” Rachel flashed her a bright smile.
“You are already in dreamland,” Tessa said, rolling her eyes.
“Oh, I think not,” Rachel said. “Jenny told me that Matt only has eyes for you.”
“She did not!”
“Shh!” Rachel put her finger to her lips. “You’ll wake the girls.”
“Sorry.” Tessa covered her mouth.
“See, there it is.” Rachel pointed at her face. “Bright eyes, flushed cheeks…”
“Okay, you got me,” Tessa said. “And I’ve got you.” She wrapped her arm around Rachel’s waist. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Tessa helped Rachel to her bedroom, making sure she was settled comfortably with everything she might need within reach.
“You good?” she asked, adjusting the pillow under Rachel’s ankle one last time.
“Perfect. Now go get some rest yourself.” Rachel yawned widely. “You’ve earned it.”
Tessa nodded and slipped out, pulling the door partially closed behind her. The hallway was quiet, the girls’ soft breathing audible through their partially open doors. She paused for a moment, listening to the peaceful sounds of the sleeping household, before heading back downstairs.
The living room felt different now, emptier and more intimate in its silence. Tessa slumped down in the armchair, suddenly bone-tired but too wired to sleep. Her gaze fell on her sketchbook, still open to the drawing she’d been working on.
Matt’s figure stood in the courtyard garden, perfectly rendered despite her having spent only minutes on it. The set of his shoulders, the confident stance, and then there were his eyes… she’d captured the way he looked at her with an accuracy that made her breath catch.
Too accurate. Too revealing of her feelings.
Tessa sighed and flipped to a fresh page. She couldn’t give this to Eleanor Thornberg as a birthday gift. Not with her son standing there like some romantic hero from a novel. Not with her feelings so nakedly displayed for anyone to see.
She began again, focusing solely on the courtyard this time.
Her pencil moved across the page, capturing the weathered flagstones, the climbing vines, and the terracotta pots bursting with herbs.
She worked meticulously, adding texture to the ancient stone walls, suggesting the play of late afternoon light across the garden.
Every few minutes, her mind tried to drift back to Matt—the way he’d looked in that light, how his voice had deepened when he talked about his mother, the careful way he’d held that sprig of rosemary for her to smell.
Each time, she firmly redirected her focus to the physical details of the garden itself.
The exact curve of a vine. The pattern of cracks in an old pot.
The way the bench sat slightly askew on the uneven stones.
An hour passed, the house settling around her with occasional creaks and sighs. The drawing took shape under her careful attention, capturing that sense of hidden sanctuary that had struck her immediately upon entering the courtyard.
In the quiet of the deepening night, Rachel’s words floated back to her: “Jenny told me that Matt only has eyes for you.”
Tessa’s stomach flipped at the memory. So he did feel the same way. It wasn’t her imagination…
So perhaps she should follow Rachel’s advice and go for it. Whatever it was…
But there was only one way to find out the truth. And that was to take a chance.
Because everyone deserved a second chance at life. Including her.