Chapter 52
52
JONATHAN
D ad’s private room has soft, butter-yellow walls and large windows letting in streams of afternoon light. There’s state-of-the-art equipment surrounding the bed, including a flat screen TV on a boom.
The nurse is talking to Dad, but she moves aside when I enter and silently leaves us alone.
Dad stares at me blearily from where his head is nestled on a mountain of pillows. “Jonathan?”
I adjust my face mask so it doesn’t mist my glasses so badly as I take a seat beside his bed. “Yes, Dad. I’m here.”
“What… what’s going on? I’m in… New York?” His voice is paper-thin, but it’s so good to hear after so long.
I don’t know if I’m supposed to touch him, but I can’t help myself. I grab his hand. “Yes. Yes, they removed the tumor. You’re going to be fine.”
He’s also in a mask and his brow furrows, his gaze cloudy. “I don’t understand. I don’t remember…”
I swallow, fighting back the fear that he might not be okay after all. “You had another seizure. Zane called me. You were in and out of consciousness but it’s okay now.”
“But how did I get here?”
“Adam. The Beast. He arranged it. When he found out you couldn’t get treatment in the UK, he worked with Zane and Sebastian to make this happen.”
“The Beast…” he whispers. His gaze clears and he reaches up to touch my cheek. “You went in my place.”
My eyes are welling up again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for— for everything. It was the only way I could think of to keep you safe.”
Dad sighs and shakes his head. “Jonathan, my stubborn boy. It’s not your job to keep me safe. I was so worried. Why wouldn’t you speak to me?”
“I know.” The tears spill over. “I—I was scared. Scared that you wouldn’t… I knew you’d be disappointed in me and I couldn’t face it. But then— when I thought I’d never get the chance…”
I cover my face. Even with him here, now, beside me, the fear is still so real.
“Of course I was angry. But I could never stop loving you and caring about your wellbeing. You know that. For someone so incredibly smart you can really be quite dim at times.”
I manage a teary laugh. “Like when I went to the estate thinking no one would notice I wasn’t you?”
“Precisely.” His brow furrows again. “You said The Beast organized this?”
“Yes. He’s been wonderful. Everything they say about him isn’t true. He’s gentle and kind and generous and…” I realize how I sound and stop.
But my father misses nothing. His eyes sparkle knowingly. “Oh, is he all those things?”
“All that and more,” I admit, bashfully.
“And does he know you feel this way about him?”
“Yes, but… things are complicated.”
Dad squeezes my hand. “Oh, Jonathan. Aren’t they always? I’ve missed you so. Please, tell me everything.”
So I do. I rattle off the whole story.
“He wants you to stay? At the estate I assume? With him and the children? Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know.”
Dad knows me well enough to sense the lie, even so fresh out of surgery. He gives me another knowing look.
“I just… I don’t want to be away from you again.” The tears threaten to return and I take off my glasses to dash at my eyes. I hate that I’m so weak.
“My dearest, sweetest boy. This is what every father wants for their child. To find someone who makes them happy. I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. Please, don’t concern yourself with me.”
I shake my head. “You don’t understand. It’s not— I wasted so much time. And I missed you so much. And Zane, and Sebastian. I love Adam and the children, but I…” I almost lost you. “I want to come home.”
“Love?” Dad asks.
I nod.
“Well then the solution is clear. You should bring them home with you.”
“You mean…?”
He laughs softly. “Weren’t you the one who was telling me there’s too much space in our old home?”
I hadn’t even thought of that, hadn’t even considered the possibility. Adam has adopted the children. They could live in Surrey as easily as in Scotland. “You wouldn’t mind? Having children running around?”
“Mind? Have you forgotten your old man so completely in a mere six months?”
Dad loves children. That’s why he became a teacher, and why he had so many of us. He dotes on his grandchildren when he gets to see them, which isn’t nearly as often as he’d like.
“I—I’ll speak to Adam.” This feels huge, overwhelming and yet so very right. I’m almost afraid to hope it might work out.
I called Zane before I went in to see Dad. The updated Covid protocols only allow one visitor at a time, so Zane goes in to see him when I leave and I wait for him outside the building.
I text Adam again.
Good news. The surgery went well :). Dad is awake and back to his old self already. Thank you so much for everything. Can we talk?
Radio silence continues. I try not to worry. Maybe something happened to his phone. Maybe he didn’t bring his charger to New York and it ran out of battery. Or he lost it.
Or he doesn’t want to speak to me and is trying to make a clean break. The thought is like a loose tooth. I keep worrying at it. It’s not out of character for Adam to avoid things he’s uncomfortable with. I didn’t give him an answer about staying with them. Is he upset about that?
After Zane’s done with his visit, we return to Elam’s house, where Elam fusses over me. He’s shocked to hear I haven’t eaten since he last fed me and positions me in front of the television, with the remote in one hand and a sandwich in the other.
Now the adrenaline of the day has worn out, exhaustion seeps into my bones. I flip between channels.
A Hallmark movie. An advert for an all-in-one vacuum cleaner. Something about wildlife. A cooking show. A documentary about Cleopatra. An advertisement for a sports match. An episode of Real Housewives?—
I flip back to the sports ad. Something caught my attention and I’m not sure what.
Bright 3D text advertising a LEGENDARY RAMPAGE is super imposed on a silhouette of a mystery guest. A booming voice is saying, “—Friday night, streaming live from the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. Back in the ring for the first time in over a decade, this legend is hungry for blood.”
I hardly hear the rest—some punt for pay-per-view.
“Hey, Zane? What day is it?” I ask.
Zane is chatting to Elam in the kitchen. He pokes his head out. “Friday. Why?”
My heart is in my throat. “Can I have Brian’s number, please?”
Elam comes over, concerned, but he doesn’t ask why I need it.
Brian answers on the first ring. He seems delighted that I’m not a telesales call and is ready to chat. It’s a moment before I can work in my question. “Have you seen Adam today?”
“What? No. I thought he was with you.”
I feel the blood drain from my face and Zane must see it because he comes to sit beside me. “What’s wrong?”
“I— I think that I just saw him on TV.” I would recognize that silhouette anywhere. “I think he’s going to fight. Tonight.”
Zane and Elam are looking at me expectantly. Brian says, “Okay?”
Of course, to them he’s just a wrestler. That’s what he does. I know it’s supposed to be a secret, but I have to tell them. “Adam can’t fight. He has brain trauma. He could die.”
Brian swears softly on the line. Elam’s hand flies to his throat. Zane’s brow furrows, his gaze turning intense. “What do you want to do?”
I wring my hands. “I think I need to come up with another bullshit plan. I need to save him.”