Gray
The seven years of my curse are nearly complete, yet I have no hope of returning to my human form. At least not fully.
They’re hard to look at, just another reminder that things with me are not as they are meant to be.
I was human first, then a wolf, and now I am neither.
Instead, I am some sort of monster, a half human, half wolf creature still held in the throes of the curse.
With no pack to pass on the curse, I have no hope of passing it on, a thought that terrifies me to no end.
I may survive this curse, but to what end?
Voices chatter down below and my ears twitch. This cave isn’t the first I’ve lived in, but the third. Close enough to the human village to see and hear everything of interest, but far enough to be safe. The second cave is even safer, carefully prepared for my mate and I to live in peace.
I have watched her for the past few years, giving her as much chance to get to know me as I could while fully a wolf. She is a brave soul; I can only hope she is brave enough to see past my monstrous form. If not, I will stay close, but that pain… I do not relish the thought of it.
My claws click on the stone as I pad to the entrance of the cave.
My mate’s home is below, easily in sight when I crouch to kneel in the entrance.
This form, somewhat human and yet somehow wolf, is hard to get used to.
My legs aren’t formed to sit like a human, but nor can I stretch out on my belly and rest my head on my paws as I once did when I watched her.
It’s harder now, so far away, but I watch her still.
My ears twitch. There she is. My brave beauty.
Her flaming red curls are duller now, but she has taken to leaving it down, hair swaying at the small of her back like the skirts that cling to her slim hips.
There’s something strange about the dullness of her hair; I get the sense that it’s because she isn’t eating enough.
I whine softly, making a mental note to build up my stores of food for winter even more. Winter is only a few months away, and I have spent the better part of a year preparing everything I need to woo my mate so we can live together happily, or so I hope.
There’s a tiny voice in my head that warns she might not love me, might even hate me. Perhaps she will only see the monster I am now, not the human woman I could be if I can find a cure for this curse, or a pack to pass it to.
I shake myself from my thoughts, knees cracking as I straighten to my full height. Loathe as I am to leave her, if I mean to court her properly soon, everything has to be perfect. I still have work to do.
As much as I hate leaving her, my preparations require travel to the second cave, the winter cave, and thus where my preparations have been focused. The other two… they have their issues.
The first cave is close to my ancestral home, and holds too many painful memories for me. Generations of my pack spent their cursed years there, and most of my pack died close to it. For a time I was ready to join them, to bleed to death on that cold stone floor.
But once I found my mate, all that changed. I could no longer bear to spend a moment more in such a hated space, so I set to exploring, remaining close to my mate’s village until I found a new home.
The second cave is my best cave, my new home.
The third is merely a means to an end. It’s high above the valley but protected, and best of all, it affords a perfect view of my beautiful mate and her cabin.
I have watched her tend the garden, speak to those in the town, try to fish for food…
she’s not very good at it, but no matter. I will see that she is fed.
Her village does not. They hate her and refuse to do anything to help her. It causes me no end of fury to see the way they treat her so poorly, but soon it will not matter. I will take her away from the terrible humans. They do not deserve her. Nor do I, but I am a selfish creature at heart.
Monster or no, I must have her in my life.
It’s a long run to the second cave, but it gives me a chance to clear my head. The cool air burns my throat as I run, claws digging into the earth. My bushy tail whips for balance.
Soon enough, forest gives way to rock, and I pad through the opening of the cave, raising one clawed hand to brush aside the thick curtain of leafy vines hanging over the entrance.
It helps to hide the entrance, but also to keep out the elements.
Once winter sets in fully, I have a massive plank of wood to use as a sort of door, painstakingly carved with my claws.
At first I tried to use a knife I found, but it’s nearly impossible to make any progress in that manner.
It’s been years since I was fully human, and I was a child then.
I’m a grown woman now, but only partly human.
Holding a knife in my massive clawed hands is a struggle I’m not able to overcome.
I spent more time trying to perfect my grip on it than making any actual progress.
In the end, it was easier just to do it with my claws.
The door isn’t the most beautiful thing in the world, but it will keep my mate and I safe and warm once the frost sets in. For now, it is carefully stored away in one of the smaller caves in the system where I live, part of the reason I chose this particular area.
The entrance leads into the massive main chamber where I entered, then moves into other, smaller caves. An underground river runs through the system with several smaller tributaries that lead into other caves, providing ample fresh water. There’s even a small pool, where my fish are.
It’s not a perfect arrangement, of course, but I needed to ensure a constant source of food if my mate and I were trapped in the cave by a brutal winter.
I stole an old net from the fisherman a village over, carefully rigging it where the river fed into the pool so that the water circulates, keeping it fresh, but the fish cannot escape.
There is even greenery and algae, moss growing on the rocks in the water for the fish to feed on.
It is an entirely self contained system, but I still give it a thorough once over before I head into the next cave, the only sound is the rustle of my fur and the soft click of my sharp claws on the stone floor.
The next room isn’t food, but wood. The space is stacked with a veritable mountain of firewood, everything from tiny sticks to massive branches, even a dead tree that I dragged up here over the course of several days. Anything that will burn.
I have long fur, my winter coat is already beginning to slowly grow in, but humans do not have the same luxury.
My mate may be human, but I will ensure she does not feel the cold this winter.
I want nothing more than to hold her close and warm her myself, but the fire will be there in case she is unsure.
I am a monster, something I am reminded of every time I look down and see my claws.
Without another pack to carry on the curse, I may never be human again, not any more than I am now.
Mostly wolf but standing upright, my body curved like a woman’s but covered in fur, clawed hands and feet dispelling any illusion of what I am.
I do not wish for my mate to fear me, but I am prepared if she is.
I will be patient, I remind myself. I have all the time in the world to woo her, to show her that I am a worthy mate. I love her already, the way she bites her lip when she’s concentrating, the way she leaves food out for me even when she doesn’t have enough for herself.
But being with her, here, where I can keep her safe from the little human fools, I will love her any more.
And if I am very lucky, perhaps she will even come to love me too.