Maris
I watch Gray pace back and forth in front of the cave entrance, her massive form tense with an anxiety that makes my chest ache. She hasn't stopped moving since we returned from the confrontation, and every few minutes she whines softly under her breath, a sound that cuts through me like a blade.
"They'll be back," she says for the fourth time in as many minutes. "With more men. With better weapons."
"Maybe," I admit, because there's no point in lying to her. "But not today. And when they do come, we'll be ready."
"Stop." I stand up from where I've been sitting on a fallen log, brushing dirt from my skirts. "Just... stop."
The word comes out sharper than I intended, and Gray flinches as if I've struck her. Immediately, I feel terrible. She's spiraling into guilt and self-blame, and snapping at her isn't going to help.
I cross to where she's standing and reach out to touch her muzzle, the way I've learned calms her. Her fur is soft under my fingers, and she leans into the contact with a shuddering sigh.
"This isn't your fault," I say quietly. "None of it is your fault."
"Isn't it?" Her voice is barely a whisper. "If I hadn't... if I'd left you alone, if I hadn't been so selfish..."
"Selfish?" I almost laugh, but there's nothing funny about the pain in her voice. "Gray, you saved my life. You've been taking care of me for years, even when I didn't know it. You've given me a home, safety, companionship..." I pause, my throat suddenly tight. "Love."
The word hangs between us like something fragile and precious. I hadn't meant to say it, hadn't even realized I was thinking it until it spilled from my lips. But now that it's out there, I can't take it back.
And I don't want to.
Gray goes very still under my touch. "Maris..."
"I know it doesn't make sense," I rush on, the words tumbling over each other in my haste to get them out.
"I know you think you're a monster, that this is all some terrible curse, but Gray...
you're the only person who has ever truly cared about me.
You're the only one who has ever made me feel like I matter. "
I think about my lonely cottage, about years of existing rather than living. About watching other people from a distance, always on the outside looking in. About the bone-deep certainty that I was meant to be alone, that there was something fundamentally wrong with me that kept everyone else away.
But Gray never stayed away. Even when I didn't know she was there, she was watching over me, protecting me, caring whether I lived or died.
"You think this curse makes you less than human," I continue, my hand moving to stroke along her neck.
"But you're more human than most of the people I've known.
You're kind and gentle and you put my needs before your own, even when it costs you.
If that's what being a monster means, then maybe the rest of the world has it backwards. "
Gray's eyes are bright with unshed tears, and I realize my own are burning too.
"We'll figure this out," I promise her. "If there's a way to break the curse, we'll find it.
I'll help you search for answers, for solutions, for whatever it takes.
But Gray... if we can't find a way to change you back, if this is how things have to be...
" I take a shaky breath. "I'm not going anywhere.
This is my choice, and I'm choosing you. However you are."
She makes a sound that's half-sob, half-growl, and suddenly I'm wrapped in warm fur as she presses her massive head against my shoulder. I bury my face in her neck and hold on tight, feeling like I'm finally, truly home for the first time in my life.
"I love you, too," she whispers against my hair. "I've loved you for so long I can't remember what it felt like not to love you."
And maybe it is impossible. Maybe it is insane. But standing here in her arms, surrounded by the scent of pine and autumn leaves and something uniquely Gray, I can't bring myself to care what the rest of the world thinks.
This is real.
This is right.
And I'll fight anyone who tries to take it away from us.