Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
ARLOW
The world seems to lighten around me as I read Calli’s text for the third time in ten minutes. See you soon . After being afraid she wouldn’t come back or wouldn’t want to see me if she did, those words bring such relief. I don’t expect her to instantly forgive me for following her, but at least I’ll have the opportunity to talk to her about it again, to try to smooth things over. It was hard to tell how she felt when she left.
The relief also comes with exhaustion, and I realize how tensed up I’ve been. Instead of letting the fire burn down, I douse it and go home to get some sleep. I can’t remember the last time I went to bed before midnight, but I’m out cold in minutes.
It’s midsummer and the golden light tangles in Calliope’s hair as she looks back at me, her grin holding the power of endless suns. “Come on, you’re the one with the long legs,” she taunts, running through the field of clover. “Catch me.”
My strides are long but bring me no closer to her. It feels like I’m running in sand, my ankles weighed down. My calls for her only speed her steps. “Wait, please.”
She laughs and continues running toward the field of overgrown wildflowers. At the edge of the field, she pauses and her smile falls. “Watch out for the shards. They’re everywhere. You can’t avoid them. They cut so bad.” Her hands plunge into her pockets and emerge holding broken pieces of an orange juice bottle. Blood runs through her fingers as she holds them up to show me, then shoves them back into her pockets.
“Calliope!” I scream with all my strength, but it comes out as a hoarse whisper.
She turns and runs again, disappearing into the wildflowers. I don’t know what’s going on. All I know is I need to get to her. It feels like I’ve been running for an eternity before my feet land in the flowers, trampling them, shoving them aside. I’m desperate to find her.
My heart leaps into my throat when a different woman blocks my path. “Melody,” I whisper.
She flips her blond hair back in a gesture I’ve seen her do a million times. Her growing smile is scathing. “Do you love her? You never loved me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” My attempt to run past her is fruitless, my feet glued to the earth.
“You will be.” The voice that responds doesn’t belong to Melody, but to Chris. He stands beside her, glaring at me. He brings a bright peach to his lips and takes a bite, chewing viciously as the juice runs out through his growing malevolent smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll find her.”
I can’t move. I can’t reach for him or give chase when he tosses the peach aside and charges into the flowers.
My body jerks as if I’ve been shoved over a cliff, shocking me into consciousness. My heart races, and I lay a hand on my chest, over the scar, willing it to slow down. Deep breaths. It was only a nightmare. Calli’s fine.
The sound of faint laughter and a car door slamming confirms that fact. She’s fine.
She’s home.
I stumble over my blanket that’s been kicked to the floor getting to my bedroom window to look. Calli’s car is parked beside the RV, and I watch as she leads a guy up her steps. A peek at the clock shows me it’s half past three in the morning. I’m not going to charge over there like a psycho this time of night. She’ll probably go to bed as soon as they leave. I’ll see her tomorrow.
There’s no way I’m going to fall right back to sleep after that nightmare. The sight of her holding out the bloody shards of the broken bottle haunts me, and I deal with it the only effective way I’ve found, by grabbing my sketchbook.
As I work, I keep an eye on the window, waiting to see the others leave. Instead, Calli comes out with the guy, grabs some stuff from the RV, and they go back inside. Minutes later, all the lights go out.
Jealousy is a snarling monster inside me, eating away. Is it only the two of them? I didn’t see anyone else. Were they already inside? Are her friends catching a nap before they continue traveling, or did she bring a man home with her? The thought that she may be in his arms is unbearable.
Do you love her? You never loved me .
I do, I love her.
I can’t let her love me.
It’s dawn before I manage to get back to sleep and my first waking thought is Calli. The RV is still in the driveway but I’m happy to see a woman sitting on Calli’s steps. It wasn’t only the two of them last night. My jealousy is unfair, but that doesn’t make it any less fierce.
After getting dressed, I take my coffee out to my porch and sit in the sunlight. It’s unseasonably warm and supposed to stay that way for another day before a sharp temperature drop.
I’m debating whether to text Calli when she comes out of her house, stops to talk to the woman on her porch for a moment, then walks up the driveway.
“Welcome back. Did you have a good trip?” I ask, moving to sit on my top step as she approaches. Christ, she looks more beautiful than I remember. Just looking at her hurts.
“It was amazing. I have lots of pictures to show you. I even got backstage at the Sudden Outburst concert and had them sign a shirt for me.”
“Got backstage as in you hopped another fence or got passes?” It wouldn’t be the first time she’s sneaked backstage from what she told me.
A grin grows on her sun kissed cheeks. “Passes. They have pretty competent security.” She takes a seat next to me on the step. “Is your internet out? I can’t get mine to work at all.”
“Ah, yeah. We aren’t going to have service for about two weeks. They’re upgrading the whole area. We’ll have a much better high-speed connection once it’s done but for now, we’re screwed.”
“Well shit.”
I don’t want to put off the inevitable with small talk. The knot growing in my stomach is too tight. “Calli, I’m sorry.”
She nods, fidgeting with her hands. “I know. You already apologized for following me, and you don’t need to apologize for anything else that happened.”
My heart lives in my throat when I ask, “Are we alright?”
The seconds of hesitation last a year. Have I lost her? Serious eyes meet mine. “Never follow me like that again. I understand why you did and that you didn’t mean any harm, but I have enough issues with anxiety without wondering if I’m being watched. I need you to swear you’ll never do that again because I promise our friendship won’t survive it a second time. Do you understand?”
“Never again. I swear.”
She nods and continues, pulling her gaze from mine. “As for the night we spent together, I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do. We both wanted it at that moment. I can leave it at that and let it go if you can.” Before I can respond, she quickly changes the subject. “My friends are leaving tomorrow. We’re going to party tonight, have a bonfire behind my cabin, grill out some steaks and stuff. Do you want to join us? Silver is coming too.”
There’s nothing she could ask me to do right now that I wouldn’t jump on to spend some time with her. “Absolutely. What can I bring?”
“Actually, I was going to see if I could borrow your body parts cooler.” Her little smirk is so adorable.
“I suppose I could find another place to store the limbs temporarily.”
I’d give anything to know what’s going on behind those eyes as she gives me a long look before wrapping her arms around me. The unexpected hug is soothing in a way I can’t begin to explain. Her warm, soft body close to mine, I breathe in the scent of her hair as she buries her face in my neck. Her words make everything right.
“I missed you too.” After we let go, she gets to her feet. “I’ll see you tonight.”
The day inches by while I keep myself busy. A trip across the state line to the dispensary helps fill the time. Along with my edibles, I get some flower for Calli, since she prefers it. The only thing she asked me to bring was my cooler, but I swing by the liquor store for some beer as well.
A call from my dad surprises me, but he gets straight to the point after hellos are exchanged. “Your mom said you aren’t coming for the holidays again.”
“She said you were going to Aunt Gina’s.”
“She also said you’re invited, and we’ll be there for six weeks. You can’t clear a few days to spend at a beach house?” he retorts, having none of my bullshit.
“I’m…pretty busy…working on some projects.”
His sigh makes me feel terrible. “We miss you, Arlow. Your mom needs to see you. We’ll be passing through your area to pick up one of your mom’s friends in Tennessee this weekend. We’d love to visit if you can set aside a night for us.”
I miss them too. It’s been too long. “Of course, Dad. I’d love to see you. Come and stay the weekend.”
His tone lightens considerably as we talk for a few minutes about their new kittens and how things are going. There’s no reason to tell him about the trouble we’ve had here since nothing has happened the past few weeks and there’s nothing they can do except worry. They’ve had enough worry in their lives over me.
By the time we hang up, it’s time to go to Calli’s. Unlike Calli, I’m not anxious in social situations. I just don’t have much desire to be around people. I’m happier alone. At least, I thought I was. Calli grabbed the cooler earlier, so I tuck the weed in my pocket, pick up the beer, and head across the driveway.
They’ve set up the portable campfire pit behind her cabin and dragged the picnic table over near it. Lawn chairs also circle the fire. The grill sits nearby, being watched over by one of the guys. Calli introduces me to everyone, and I join them at the fire.
Everybody is clearly buzzed and happy. “We were just comparing stories of the most piece of shit cars we’ve ever driven,” Calli says, nodding toward Silver to continue after my appearance interrupted them.
“My first one was a real beater I bought used. I drove that thing into the ground. It was more rust and dents than car. Had to keep oil in the trunk because it ate it up like crazy. It drove okay for a few months then it stopped wanting to get into first gear. So, I’d be stuck at every light while it whined and revved until it would jump into gear and try to give me whiplash. I couldn’t afford to get it fixed so I drove it that way for another two months until the transmission failed completely. My friends thought it was hilarious and they’d do that thing where they rock back and forth like that might get the car moving, but I’m sure the drivers behind me were seriously disgruntled.”
The light laughter is interrupted by Freya. “Did you guys know gruntled is a word? It means happy. Why do we say disgruntled but never gruntled? I’m going to start using that.”
“You do that,” Calli laughs. “My dad had a car with no reverse gear. My brother was a teenager then and living with him and it became his job to ride with him and push the car out of every parking spot or any situation where he had to back up. Watching my brother try to get him in and out when he had to parallel park in front of my place used to make me almost pee myself laughing. I wish I’d taken a video of it.”
Watching Calli laugh and talk with her friends, seeing her happiness, wipes away all the dark clouds the last few weeks have gathered. Everyone is cool, and after we eat, I pass out the edibles I brought.
Calli refuses and she also hasn’t been drinking anything stronger than tea tonight. She looks over at me when I sit in the chair next to hers and hold out a joint. “I thought you might want something that won’t put you on the ground.”
She beams at me as she accepts it. “Thanks, I’ve had enough alcohol over the last couple of weeks and we both know edibles aren’t always my friend.”
An hour later, everyone is stuffed full of delicious food, stoned, and scattered around the fire. Freya lays on the picnic table, looking up at the sky, and Calvin calls over to her.
“Are you okay over there, Miss I Can Handle Two Gummies?”
Freya turns to face us, and everyone laughs at the size of her cheesy grin. “I am gruntled. ”
Calli’s friends are fun, but I’ll be glad to get her to myself again.