Chapter 23
LUELLEN ARCHED HER BACK AND reached around to rub a kink that had formed since she’d been sitting during the first hour and a half of church.
It was getting more difficult to remain on the backless wooden bench during their three-hour worship service, but she would make every effort not to let on.
Even at home, Luellen either made light of her back troubles or did everything she could to hide the pain that she felt.
There was no point in worrying Marlin or either of her granddaughters, and she didn’t want to be thought of as an invalid, either.
As far as Luellen was concerned, it was simply best to bear the pain and make the best of her situation without making a fuss or complaining.
It certainly would not change the fact that things weren’t right with her back.
She’d hoped the new mattress might make a difference, but in all honesty, it hadn’t helped much at all.
Luellen drew in a breath and tried to relax, hoping it would ease the pain in the middle of her back.
She knew from experience that concentrating on the sermon one of their ministers preached was the best medicine right now.
This morning’s message was a good one too.
It revolved around the importance of learning to trust God in all things.
I need to remind myself daily to do that, Luellen told herself. I wish that for my grandchildren too. Each of them need to remember to rely on God to give them strength and guidance, now more than ever.
“Granddaughters, your ride to the singing is here,” Grandpa announced when he entered the living room where Emma and Rachel sat beside Grandma on the sofa. “You better get a move on and not keep your boyfriend waiting, Emma.”
She jumped up and peered out the living room window. Sure enough, Ivan’s horse and buggy had pulled up to the hitching rail.
Emma gripped the backrest of the couch as her heart skipped a beat.
The more time she spent with Ivan, the deeper her feelings grew for him.
It was selfish, but Emma wished her sister wasn’t going with them to the singing.
More than likely, Rachel would monopolize the conversation going to and from this evening’s event.
Emma pushed her negative thoughts aside and went to open the front door. If she didn’t do it now, Rachel might get there first.
Emma bit the inside of her cheek. There I go again …
thinking undesirable thoughts. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that her sister was still sitting on the sofa with Grandma.
Is Rachel giving me a chance to go out and talk to Ivan for a bit?
Or does she simply have more to say to our grandmother on the topic of quilts, which is what we have been talking about for the last hour?
“I’m heading out to Ivan’s buggy,” Emma called.
“Okay, I’ll be there soon,” Rachel responded.
Emma grabbed her black outer bonnet and headed out the door.
Ivan smiled when Emma approached the buggy, where he was still seated but on the verge of stepping down. “You didn’t have to come out. I was gonna walk up to the house.”
“That’s okay,” she responded. “I just came out to tell you that I’m ready to go, but Rachel’s still talking to Grandma.”
“No problem,” he said. “It’ll give the two of us a chance to spend a few minutes alone.”
Emma nodded. “Jah. The rest of the evening, other young people will be around us, and my sister will be here in your buggy too, so there won’t be any chance to talk privately.”
Ivan patted the seat beside him. “Why don’t you get in and we’ll take advantage of the time we have right now.”
Emma did as he suggested, and once she was seated next to him, he took hold of her hand.
It was soft and warm, and Ivan wished he could sit like this with her hand in his for the rest of the evening.
But it was not meant to be, for Rachel had left the house and was swiftly heading in their direction.
“Sorry for holding you up,” Rachel said as she slid into the back seat. “I had a few more things I wanted to say to Grandma before coming outside.”
“No problem,” Ivan assured her. “The host of tonight’s singing doesn’t live far from here, so unless my horse decides to move along at a snail’s pace, we won’t be late.”
They arrived at the singing, just as a group of young Amish people from the Arthur community began congregating on the lawn, outside of the host’s home. As Ivan led his horse to where the other buggies were situated, Rachel craned her neck to get a better view.
I see some guys congregating over there by the fenced-in pasture.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re wanting to play baseball.
Rachel shifted on the buggy seat. Why am I so nervous about attending this event?
Usually, I’m all for the idea of wandering up to people I don’t know and starting a conversation.
This evening, however, the thought of talking to strangers—especially when it comes to any of the nice-looking young fellows—makes me break out in a cold sweat.
It’s been a while since I’ve even talked to any of the young men I know back home, since I was with David for so long.
But he was so quick to move on from me, so shouldn’t I be able to do the same?
Following her sister, Rachel stepped out of the buggy and trailed behind Emma and her tall boyfriend, feeling a wave of envy when she noticed their hands entwined like thread binding together two pieces of fabric.
As they made their way over to the group, Rachel’s heart ached, even though she was pleased to see Emma in a loving relationship.
At the threshold of the gathering, Rachel halted her steps, her eyes straying to the group of young men who were still engaged in conversation.
Rachel then noticed Emma turn halfway around and look back at her.
Emma and Ivan’s fingers were still intertwined.
My sister is so fortunate, Rachel thought.
“What do you want to do before we go in for the meal, Rachel?” Emma asked.
Rachel’s gaze flickered to the young men again. “I’m not sure. I could leave you and Ivan alone and—”
“Do you want to go visit with some of the other young people?” Emma gestured to the group standing nearby. “It’s okay if you do.”
“I’m not really sure, Emma. It feels strange to be here with so many people I don’t know.”
“You’re welcome to come join us to play baseball, Rachel.” Ivan said. “The more the merrier.”
Rachel pressed her lips together. “No thanks. I’m not really into any of that outdoor stuff like Emma is. I think I’d rather find a place to sit and watch.”
“Oh, okay.” Ivan looked at Emma. “If you want to play ball with us, I’ll meet you out there in the field.
” After letting go of Emma’s hand, Ivan slipped off his straw hat and handed it to her.
Then he sprinted to the field, along with the others who were getting ready to start a game, leaving the sisters alone.
Emma lingered at Rachel’s side, holding onto the brim of her boyfriend’s hat. “Are you sure you don’t want to do anything besides sit and watch the game, Rachel? Not even just mingle with the other young women here?”
Rachel shook her head. “Guess I’m more tired than I thought I’d be. I’m sorry. I probably should’ve stayed home tonight.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. I can stay right here and keep you company.”
“You don’t need to worry about me, Emma.” Rachel lowered herself and settled down on the grass as she stared up at her sister. “You seem eager to go, so feel free to play ball with your boyfriend and the others. Enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine here on my own. You can go ahead and have fun.”
“I don’t mind sitting here with you, and you don’t have to talk to anyone else if you’re not up for it. You don’t know any of the young people here, so I understand.”
Emma seated herself beside Rachel on the lawn as the first pitch was thrown and the sound of the bat cracking resounded.
Giving her sister’s arm a tender squeeze, Rachel expressed gratitude to Emma for staying there to keep her company.
But she also felt terrible for preventing Emma from having a good time with Ivan.
Part of her had suspected this would happen, and perhaps if her breakup with David wasn’t weighing heavy on her heart, she could’ve let loose and had fun this evening.
She tried not to think about it and opted to concentrate on the game that was being played in direct view of them.
One of the young men who was up to bat hit the ball far from home plate, but not far enough to qualify as a home run, and Emma clapped for Ivan as he ran to the next base.
Although Rachel rarely partook in playing baseball, she remembered well how David had enjoyed the game, and he’d explained the rules to her many times during their dates.
Maybe if I had played ball with David back home, he wouldn’t have lost interest in me.
Alice always played baseball at the gatherings, so I’ll bet that’s why they grew close and he chose her over me.
A thickness formed in Rachel’s throat as she held her arms against her stomach.
I need to move on from what David and I used to have.
He doesn’t love me, and I need to accept that, even if I don’t want to believe it.
Is it so wrong that I still have feelings for him, even after he betrayed me and broke my heart?
Except for the steady gait of King’s hooves hitting the pavement, the ride back in the buggy was silent.
Emma traced patterns on the upholstery as the moon shone brightly and the evening breeze cooled her skin.
She thought about how withdrawn her sister had been during the young people’s singing.
Given that Rachel was usually regarded as the outgoing one, it was out of the ordinary for her to be unsocial the way she had been all evening.
When they approached the hitching rail near her grandparents’ driveway, Emma raised her chin and realized she had been lost in thought.