Chapter 33 #2
“Good. I’ll get your address from David and come around seven. See you then, Emma.” With that, Nathan went on back to his seat.
Emma sat staring at her unfinished plate of food.
There was no point in finishing off the morsels she’d left behind since they were now cold and her nerves stifled her appetite.
Although she did not feel ready to begin a new relationship, the fact that someone wanted to court her was a pleasant thought.
It didn’t have to be a serious relationship either.
A few casual dates with the young man might be refreshing.
It could even be the first step Emma needed to take to fully move forward with her life.
And who knows? Emma mused. Even though I can’t see into the future, Nathan might be the man God has in mind for me. She inhaled deeply. At least it’s worth finding out.
Arthur
“You doin’ okay, Son?” Ivan’s father questioned as he and Ivan did their evening chores in the barn after supper.
Ivan rubbed the bridge of his nose while slowly shaking his head. “I’m all right, Papa. Just mied is all.”
“Are you sure? Your furrowed brows and rounded shoulders make me think it’s more than just feeling tired. Seems like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
Ivan dragged the toe of his boot through the straw beneath his feet. “Jah, I guess so. Why do you ask?”
“You haven’t been yourself here lately, and with your wedding coming up in a few weeks, I figured you’d be more joyous.” Papa dumped some oats into his horse’s feeding trough. “I was pretty excited when your mamm’s and my wedding day was getting close.”
Ivan swallowed hard, but the wad of phlegm in his throat wouldn’t ease up.
He wasn’t sure how to respond. Ivan tried not to look on his and Maggie’s upcoming wedding event with dread, but he couldn’t find it within himself to get excited about marrying her.
Ivan always tried to be kind to Maggie, but she often got on his nerves.
He stopped what he’d been doing here in the barn and wondered if he should tell his father that he dreaded the thought of marrying Maggie. Or would it be better if he simply remained quiet about it?
Truthfully, it surprised Ivan that Papa had even noticed something was wrong. Normally, he was preoccupied with work at the harness shop and other things here at home, and he didn’t seem to pay any mind to what else was going on around him.
“Guess I am a little naerfich,” Ivan finally admitted, after clearing his throat. “Nervous and concerned that I won’t be a good husband and father.”
“You mean because you’re not in love with the woman you’re on the verge of marrying?”
That question caught Ivan off guard. Apparently, Papa was more perceptive than he’d ever realized. “Jah,” Ivan said with a nod.
“So you’re going to follow through with it because you believe it’s the right thing to do?”
Ivan nodded again. “Don’t you?”
His father squinted as he tugged on his lower lip. “I suppose, but it’s not fair to you.”
“Life isn’t fair sometimes, is it?”
“No, Son, it’s not. But here’s some food for thought.” Papa paused a few seconds, pulling his fingers through the ends of his full beard. “There’s always time for you to reconsider what’s the best for you. Maybe you oughta think about it a little more before you jump into a loveless marriage.”
“I have thought about it,” Ivan said. “If only Maggie and I were involved, that would be one thing, but I have to think about our son, and what kind of a life he would have if I turned my back on him. Does that make sense?”
Papa draped his arm around Ivan’s shoulder. “Jah, and I see your point, but maybe there’s some other way.”
Ivan gave a vigorous shake of his head. “There is no other way, and I’ve made up my mind. I’m gonna marry Maggie on the last Sunday of November, following our regular church service, just like we’ve planned.”
“Okay then, if you’re sure, but remember, Ivan, I’m here for you if ever you need a listening ear.”
“Danki, Papa. I’m gonna make the best of the situation I caused by my lack of good sense the night of Toby’s party, but knowing that you’re here for me really helps. And I’ll also need a lot of prayer,” Ivan added. “I already know it won’t get much easier once we’re married.”
His father pointed upward where the remainder of the outside light filtered through the gaps in the barn’s roof. “You’ve got it, and I’m sure your mamm will be praying too.”
“Are you feeling naerfich about your upcoming wedding?” Ida Mae asked as she and Maggie did the supper dishes.
Maggie gave a quick shake of her head. “No, I’m not nervous.”
“Not even a little? Marriage is a big step, you know,” Ida Mae commented. “And most brides and grooms usually feel a bit of apprehension as their wedding day approaches.”
“I can’t speak for Ivan,” Maggie said, “but I’m filled with excitement about becoming his fraa.”
Ida Mae reached for a dish and placed it in the sudsy tub of water to wash. “Will your parents or any other family members be coming to the wedding?”
“It’s not likely, since I didn’t invite them.” Maggie grabbed a glass to dry.
“Why not?”
“Because they kicked me and Stephen out of their house.”
“I’m aware of that, Maggie, but perhaps if they knew that you’re settling down and getting married, it might make a difference in your relationship with them.”
Maggie’s lips pressed together as she gave a firm shake of her head.
The silence hung between them as the young woman’s concentration seemed to be on using a clean towel to dry off another plate.
Then, with a voice above a whisper, Maggie said, “I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for taking me and my son in.
I want to do what’s best for Stephen, and—well, from what I’ve seen from Ivan, I know he’ll be a good father to him. ”
Glancing over at Maggie, Ida Mae couldn’t even begin to fathom what it must be like to be completely cut off from one’s own family.
Ida Mae’s heart went out to this young woman, who obviously felt unloved by her parents.
On the other hand, maybe Maggie had done or said some things to someone in her family that put a big wedge between them.
Given how much this girl had previously gone through, was it improper of Ida Mae to consider that as a possibility?
Ida Mae remembered the day Maggie, with babe in arms, had arrived on their doorstep.
The young woman’s shoulders drooped, and her eyes held no sparkle.
It had been obvious that Maggie needed someone to care for both her and the baby.
Ida Mae and the rest of their family had done just that.
Ivan had obviously been in a state of shock, learning that he’d fathered a child he’d previously known nothing about.
But he’d set his feelings for Emma aside and done the right thing by Maggie and Stephen.
Ida Mae felt bad that her son had been forced to give up the woman he truly loved to do the right thing, but at the same time, she was pleased that he had stepped up and taken responsibility.
Her only concern now was how things would turn out once Ivan and Maggie were married.
She asked herself once again if Ivan could learn to love and cherish his wife and if there would be more children down the road.
Or would her son simply go through the motions of being a husband and father, and never truly know the beautiful love between a husband and wife?