Chapter 16
Jessica blinked, looking up from her phone when Teddy said her name.
“You okay over there?” he asked, the glow from the streetlights slipping through his ute’s windows and highlighting the worry on his face. So much for another light and breezy fake-dating outing. Rob’s email had ruined that.
She stuffed her phone back into her tote bag. “Sorry. Yes. I was …” Jessica took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry.
She’d been expecting Rob’s email.
She opened and closed her mouth, but she couldn’t find the right words.
“What do you need?” Teddy asked, and if he could be less nice and less intuitive, that’d be great.
She curled her fingers around the strap of her handbag and pressed her fingernails into her palms. The sting gave her something to focus on.
Good. She could do this. Tell Teddy there was nothing to worry about.
That she was tired after a long day. A long week.
A long forever, actually. No. That would lead to more questions.
She needed to manage a believable ‘I’m fine’ but she didn’t want to have to be so strong all the time.
Have this stress overshadow all the positive changes that had been happening lately.
She and Teddy were getting married in four weeks, and the other buyers for Joan’s house still hadn’t sold their home.
But if all her ducks didn’t line up in a nice row, Rob might still be able to take Sam away from her, so what came out was, “Rob wants primary custody of Sam …”
Shit. Tears were inevitable, apparently. Jessica buried her face in her hands and focused on her breathing.
It was going to be okay.
Things weren’t going to fall apart.
Soon she would have the money she needed to fight Rob all the way to the supreme court if she had to.
Her breath rattled in and out of her chest, and she registered that the car was slowing down. There was a bump as it moved onto the grassy shoulder that stretched on either side of the road to Somers Gully.
“I’m sorry.” Jessica hiccupped. Lord. This was so embarrassing. This wasn’t what Teddy had signed up for when he’d agreed to help her. Their arrangement was supposed to be simple.
But life had never been that kind to her, had it?
“What for?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and gestured at nothing. “This isn’t your problem.”
“Can you open your eyes for me, Sunshine?”
Jessica wanted to shake her head and refuse to until she had control of her emotions. But then Teddy hit her with what was apparently her kryptonite: a soft “please”.
And there he was. Just like she could’ve predicted he would be. One arm resting across the steering wheel, his big body angled towards her, mouth twisted into a frown, his eyes concerned.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.
“Because we don’t have to. Mum’s always been big on the whole ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ but sometimes, in my opinion, it’s just as effective, maybe even more so, to give yourself enough time to process things.
So I’m happy to listen or give you space. But I need to know what you need.”
It was Teddy’s gentleness that broke her, destroying the last barrier to her admittedly already shaky composure.
Or maybe it was because last weekend at the fair had been so nice together. A little glimpse into how life could be with someone like Teddy by her side.
But he wasn’t really hers. This was all part of their arrangement.
“Oh, oh, no,” Teddy murmured as Jessica swiped at her eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears streaming down her face. “Here. I don’t have tissues, sorry.” He leant forward and lifted the side of the open button-down he was wearing over his white singlet and used it to dry her cheeks.
Teddy’s niceness made everything worse because this wasn’t supposed to be happening to Jessica. Not again. She’d been through so many shitty years trying to get her—and Sam’s—lives back to being on solid ground. She’d done her time and then some. Life was supposed to be kind to them now.
“I’m okay. Or at least, I will be. Sorry.”
“I don’t want you to ever be sad.” There was an intensity to Teddy’s words that hadn’t been there before, but instead of making the cab of his ute feel stuffy, it was calming, comforting.
She could tell Teddy wasn’t going to judge her or hold whatever she said against her.
He would just listen, and that was too much. If she let herself get too attached, she’d just be setting herself up for more heartache when they went their separate ways after she received her full inheritance. And when he didn’t need her anymore.
“I’ll figure it out,” she said finally, resolving to get better at keeping her problems to herself.
“Good thing I’ve got something awesome planned for us tonight, then,” Teddy said, dragging his thumb across the crest of her cheekbone, wiping away another tear that escaped. “Ready for some fun?”
Her nod wasn’t very convincing, but luckily, Teddy didn’t call her out on it.
Safety glasses weren’t supposed to make Teddy feel like this. For God’s sake, Teddy spent most of his work hours wearing safety glasses. Surrounded by other people also wearing them and he’d never had a single thought about them that wasn’t about how they protected his eyes.
But on Jessica? The way they were just slightly too big and seemed to magnify her big blue eyes? How they kept sliding down her nose and making her shake her curls off her forehead to fix them. Teddy was having thoughts.
Coupled with the fierce protectiveness that had appeared when she’d started crying in his car and he wasn’t just in trouble. Teddy was in Trouble.
He’d have to be careful he didn’t hurt himself when they got into the smash room because he was so distracted by everything about her.
When one of his patients had told him about Smash It Real Good, Somers Gully’s newest attraction, Teddy had thought it would be the perfect place for Jessica to let out some stress. It didn’t hurt that they were sure to be seen by plenty of locals either.
It was supposed to be a fun date.
A fun fake date. But now all the stares they were attracting? They were sitting very heavily on his shoulders.
“Ladies first,” he said, gesturing towards the room they’d been designated, but Jessica hesitated.
She flinched at the loud crash from the room next to theirs, the tinkly sound of broken glass. Her gaze darted around the hallway, skating past the entrance to their smash room, down to the sledgehammer she was white-knuckling and then settled on the steel-capped boots they’d been told to wear.
“So we go in there and break things?” Jessica’s voice wobbled, and wow, she was determined not to look at him, wasn’t she?
His plan for this to be fun and cathartic smashed into a million pieces all around him.
Teddy scratched his neck. “That’s kind of the point of these places.”
Her shoulders curled inwards, and note to self: don’t take date location advice from a sixteen-year-old again. They could go somewhere else. It wasn’t a big deal.
“Hey, how about we get—”
Shouts of glee echoed from the room next to theirs as the group started to chant, “Smash it! Smash it!”
“It sounds fun,” Jessica said, lifting the sledgehammer.
It sounded like she was being asked to plan her own funeral.
He tried again. “Why don’t we get out of—”
“I feel bad about making a mess.”
Teddy chose his words carefully. “You’re allowed to make a mess in here.”
Jessica looked up at him. Her teeth were biting into her bottom lip. “I never let myself make messes. I’m not a fun mum.”
It must be hard to be fun when she was always drowning in responsibility.
Jessica lowered the sledgehammer so the head rested against the ground before ducking her head and going back to avoiding Teddy’s eyes. “I know I’m being silly. I don’t like feeling out of control, and after earlier …”
“Hey.” Teddy bent forward until they were eye to eye. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m sorry I mucked this up.”
“I hate being like this,” she whispered. “I don’t know how to turn it all off.”
“Can I?” Teddy gestured for the sledgehammer, and she handed it to him. He twisted, leaning it against the wall before pointing at the bench seat outside their smash room and nudging her towards it.
“I’m sorry,” Jessica muttered.
Teddy perched on the edge of the bench next to her, purposely keeping his gaze on the wall in front of them. Trying to give her space if that’s what she needed. “What do you like to do to relax?”
“Hmmm?”
Teddy laughed quietly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “A good boyfriend would’ve probably asked that first, right? Not just come up with a plan that sounded fun to him?”
“Teddy,” she whispered.
“No. This is good. I’m here to learn.”
“This isn’t about you,” Jessica said. “I don’t think I even know how to relax.”
“Because you’re always on?”
She shrugged. “There’s always so much to do.”
Teddy looked over his shoulder, drawn to her, wanting to see her reaction to this next bit. “And there’s no one to help you?”
“No, no.” Jessica stood. “That couldn’t be further from the truth.
I have so much help. Wyatt lets me work shifts that suit Sam.
Joan gives me cheap rent. Owen still doesn’t accept money for legal advice.
I can even acknowledge that Rob helps by wanting to be involved in Sam’s life.
Sure, that’s causing issues now because we don’t agree on everything, but it’s still something.
I have so much help.” She hesitated before placing her hand on his shoulder.
“In fact, someone very nice has recently agreed to marry me. He’s a good guy, and I’m grateful for him. ”
Teddy settled his hand over hers.
“All those things are great, but I meant the little stuff. The day-to-day background things that are part of adulting. You do all that, all the time.”
She shrugged. “Well, I don’t want to state the obvious, but I have to. I have a kid. I have responsibilities. Same as a lot of people.”
“But you don’t know how to relax.”
Her lips twisted to the side. “I’m just not used to it.”
“It being what?”
“Doing things just for fun. There not being any complications. I don’t know how to switch off.”
“Would you like to try? We can go somewhere else. Where you’re more comfortable?”
Jessica raised her eyebrows.
Teddy took a deep breath and stood, linking their hands. “I’ve recently discovered that I need to work on asking people what they want rather than making assumptions. We can both learn together.”
“It’s easy to assume.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Jessica sighed. “I don’t want to smash anything.”
“Then we don’t.”
“You’re not mad? You paid for us to come in here. And we’re meant to be showing everyone what a great couple we are.”
He frowned, confusion creasing his forehead. “Are you expecting me to be mad?”
“I don’t like disappointing people. Or wasting money.” Her voice was so small.
“I couldn’t care less about us not smashing up a room. I care about you being uncomfortable and not enjoying yourself. I’m disappointed in myself for not thinking to ask what you wanted to do. I was trying to come up with a fun public date, and I forgot to consider your feelings.”
Jessica grimaced. “I’ve made this into a way bigger deal than it was.”
“No.” Teddy shook his head firmly. “You’ve been honest, and I appreciate that.”
“Yeah?” There she went, worrying her bottom lip again.
“Of course. Let’s get out of here. Go do something you want to do.”
“But what about what you want?”
Teddy wanted Jessica to have fun. To help alleviate some of the pressure that weighed so heavily on her shoulders. He lowered his voice. “I want to make my secret fiancée happy.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “It can’t all be about me. This isn’t a real date. You don’t actually have to make me happy.”
But Teddy was realising he’d be very happy if it were real. “If you could do anything you wanted to right now, what would it be?”
Jessica’s chest rose as she took a deep breath, and she pushed her safety goggles into her hair. “I’d like to look at the stars. Just for a few minutes.”
This I can do.
“I know the perfect place,” Teddy replied, standing and reaching for Jessica’s hands. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To get you some stars.”