Chapter 33
There was something special about a night spent around the camp fire.
And not just because Teddy had never outgrown his childhood love for toasted marshmallows.
His parents had gone to bed two hours ago, soon followed by Nate and Eloise, and then a little bit later, Owen and Alice.
At some point, Rafferty had fallen asleep in his camp chair.
“You warm enough?” Teddy asked Jessica as she extended her hands towards the dying fire.
The last big log crackled and split, sparks flying into the air and mixing with the smoke curling into the sky.
Teddy’s gaze snagged on her bare ring finger.
They’d left their wedding rings in the glove box of his ute, silently agreeing that if they brought them into their cabin, Lulu would be able to smell them.
“I’m good,” she said. “It’s so nice here.”
Teddy reclined, settling further into his camp chair and stretching his legs until his feet rested on the ring of stones around the fire. “Sam would like it here,” he said.
Jessica looked at him over her shoulder. The fire cast shadows across her face, and there was something else in her gaze. A heat he wasn’t used to. He’d noticed it when she was in the spa, too. And now? It was burnt deep in her pupils, darkening her blue eyes.
“He would,” she said slowly.
“Maybe we could bring him here on the next holidays?”
“Really?” Jessica burrowed her hands in the long sleeves of her cardigan and tucked her fists under her chin.
“Yeah. It’ll be a bit warmer then. Better for swimming.”
Jessica’s expression dimmed, and the heat in her eyes disappeared, replaced with a melancholy Teddy used to see there when they’d first met.
“Sam’s not a great swimmer,” she said carefully. “Rob takes him to lessons sometimes, but he doesn’t like it.”
“Maybe you could teach him at the community pool? Or Somers Gully has a great indoor one that’s heated.”
Her smile disappeared, and Teddy ached to ask why, wanting to know everything about her.
“I don’t think so.”
“You think he still wouldn’t like it? He was way more outgoing at sports class this week. I know it hasn’t been long, but I think he’s building up some great confidence.”
Jessica started to say something, her mouth opening, but then she snapped it shut and fidgeted with her sleeves.
“What?” Teddy asked.
“Nothing. It’s embarrassing. You’ll think I’m a loser.” Jessica pushed to her feet and started collecting the discarded marshmallow sticks, arranging them in a neat pile next to the fire.
Teddy stood slowly, stretching out his arms and legs, conscious of how Jessica was watching him. He took his time closing the distance between them, careful not to spook her.
She blinked up at him with tears in her eyes.
“Starshine?”
“It’s so silly.”
He reached for her. “I promise it’s not.”
She shook her head, and a noisy breath rattled out of her chest. “I’m just overwhelmed. Your family is so …”
Teddy linked their hands together, relieved that she didn’t pull away or try to put distance between them. “Annoyingly perfect?”
Jessica chuckled, but there was a watery edge to the sound.
“Something like that. It’s so different from what I’m used to.
It was mostly just Mum and me when I was growing up.
And she wasn’t interested in making memories or spending time with me.
” Sorrow weighed down all her words, and Teddy wanted to protect her from ever feeling sad again.
“I’m sorry.” What else was there to say? Because Teddy was sorry. He was so fucking sorry she’d missed out on so much.
Jessica burrowed into Teddy’s side, and he guided her over to the double swing seat that looked out over the river. He pulled her close once they were seated.
“We never did anything. No outings, no fun trips, no life stuff.”
Teddy’s eyebrows raised. “Life stuff?”
“No school sports or gymnastics classes or”—she sniffed, her voice trembling—“swimming lessons.”
Teddy froze and Jessica wiped her eyes.
“Hey, hey,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s embarrassing. I’m twenty-five and I don’t know how to swim, Teddy. Even getting into the spa this afternoon made me nervous.” She covered her face with her hands.
Teddy shifted off the swing until he was crouched in front of Jessica and gently prised her fingers apart until he could see her eyes.
“Jess—”
“I’m fine.”
“I know—”
“I’ll learn one day. Maybe. I’ve thought about it, but … it’s expensive, you know. Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t—”
“Great.” She shook out her curls. “Now, can we please forget this ever happened? It’s been a long day, and I’m overwhelmed. Sam gets that from me, by the way.”
Teddy swept his thumbs along the crest of her cheekbones, collecting the tears she’d missed.
“I wasn’t expecting to feel weird about the wedding,” she whispered, and it was hard for Teddy to hear anything over the pounding in his ears.
“Weird?” It came out like a croak. Here he was, hoping for more and trying to show her how things could be, but Jessica felt weird?
She went to hide behind her hands again, so Teddy grabbed them.
“I thought it would be fine. Like no big deal. We talked about this, right? We had a deal.”
Teddy nodded, his hopes dwindling as his uncertainty about where she was going with this grew, filling all the gaps in the trees around them with shadows.
“But I … I don’t know how to say this.” Another tear slipped down Jessica’s cheek, and he wiped it away with his thumb.
“It wasn’t nothing. It was so much. Does that make sense?”
It does.
“It made me want things,” Jessica whispered.
Teddy’s heart thumped painfully. “Like?”
“More?”
Their gazes snagged, and swear to God, Jessica had never looked more beautiful. And she’d been so brave, admitting that to him.
Teddy placed hands on either side of her hips. “I want more too.”
She bit her lip and leant closer. “Really?”
“Yes.”
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. “Then you should kiss me.”
Teddy didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed forward, laughing softly when their noses bumped and Jessica cursed, her hands twisting in the back of his hair, a delicious tug that set all the need he’d been carrying around alight.
When their mouths met, Teddy smiled. He couldn’t help it.
He might never stop smiling again. He teased her lips with his tongue, groaning when she opened for him.
Teddy pulled her to the edge of the swing, their bodies flush, and she wound her legs around his waist. He poured everything he had into the kiss, desperate to show her how she affected him, how he’d meet any challenge she issued and be grateful.
Jessica moaned when they broke apart, her eyes hazy, movements slow. “I don’t want to have to think about everything all the time. Worry about what’s next. I want to feel and do, but only if that’s what you want too,” she whispered. Her words were like a brand across his skin.
He could see now how silly he’d been denying himself. And her, as well.
Teddy promised himself that he’d never be careless with Jessica’s feelings.
He drew her into another kiss, pouring everything he had into it. “I want that too. Let’s go get us more.”