Chapter Seventeen
Seventeen
Julian
“I can help whoever’s next!” a young woman called. She perched behind a long rectangular table in the lobby of the community center with a volunteer lanyard strung around her neck and a clipboard in her hand.
Julian darted toward her. “Um, hi. We’re the Glendale Shakers. Signing in for our dress rehearsal slot.”
“Oh!” she said, beaming at him. “I totally saw you guys online!”
“Yeah?” he said, hoping she was a fan.
“You guys are awesome. Like four different people tagged me in your video.”
“Thanks,” Julian said as she handed him a packet of paperwork. “That means a lot.” He glanced down at the papers. “What do I do with all this?”
“Just fill out the details on the first page and the questionnaire, then return it to me before you leave the center.” She scanned her clipboard.
“Oh, you’re on stage at 3:30 today. Make sure you’re on deck ten minutes before to keep everything running smoothly.
Heather said, ‘Don’t be late or else.’ Not sure what ‘or else’ means, but she sounded serious. ”
“We’ll be there,” Julian promised, turning back to the choir. But as he went to gather up the residents, he spied Harriet already sneaking off. “Hey, hold on! Where are you going?”
Harriet wheeled around, her lips pursed. “Nowhere.”
Julian folded his arms across his chest. “You have an I’m-about-to-get-up-to-no-good look on your face.”
“We’ve got some time before our dress rehearsal slot.” Harriet shot him an evil grin. “I figured it was time to properly scope out the competition.”
Julian made a face. “Please don’t do anything that’ll get us disqualified before we perform tomorrow.”
“Who’s gonna know it was me?” Harriet joked. “No one ever suspects the little old lady.”
“I would know,” Julian said. “You are always suspect number one.”
“You know what happens to snitches.”
Julian blinked at her. Was he being threatened by a seventysomething-year-old right now?
Maggie hooked her arm through Harriet’s. “Don’t you worry, Julian. We’re just going for a little stroll. We’ll be back soon.”
“Ladies,” Julian warned. The last thing he needed was to be accused of cheating.
He didn’t know how you cheated at a choir competition, but if there was a way, Harriet would figure it out.
Like locking the barber shop quartet in a closet.
Oh God, why did that sound like something she might actually do?
“Don’t look so alarmed,” Maggie said, laughing. “We’re just going to say hi to some of the other choirs. You know, introduce ourselves.” She fluffed up her hair. “Wish them good luck for tomorrow.”
“Intimidate,” Harriet muttered. “We’ll also do a bit of that.”
Maggie brushed off her comment. “She’s kidding, of course. We’ll be nothing but charming.” She tugged on Harriet’s arm, and the two of them set off, snickering like schoolchildren that had toads in their pockets meant for the teacher.
Doris popped forward, giving him a sympathetic look. “I’ll go with them to supervise. That way I can make sure they don’t actually jeopardize our chance to perform.”
“Thanks,” Julian said, giving her a weak smile.
He wondered if she could see the hollow space in his chest Charlie had left after tearing out his heart.
She was probably missing her just as badly.
But it was different. Charlie would call.
Heck, she’d probably have Doris and her parents out to see her perform.
But he had nothing. No guarantees. No promises.
Just the memory of them picking each other apart, prodding at their worst fears.
Because this truly was his. He’d opened his heart again, he’d let Charlie take root inside, trusting that she’d stay, trusting that she wanted him, and then she’d turned around and left like he never meant anything to her at all.
Having to tell the choir that Charlie wasn’t going to be here for the performance had been hard. But having to look them in the eyes as the fool who’d believed someone had actually chosen him had been worse.
And now he was forced to admit that he had no idea what he was doing without her.
Julian turned back to the rest of the choir as Doris wandered off.
“Okay, we’ve got about thirty minutes before we have to be waiting in the wings,” he said, glancing at his phone.
“I guess now is a good time for water. Or vocal warmups. Right? We could do some…” He didn’t even know what to start with.
Lip buzzing? Some sort of humming? This was Charlie’s area of expertise.
“We’ve got it covered,” Jim said, taking pity on him. “We’ll use one of the open classrooms to do our exercises.”
“Sounds good.” Julian pointed them down the hall. “You guys go do that, and I’ll come gather everyone up in a bit.” As they set off, he poked his head into the auditorium, feeling very out of place as a choir of schoolchildren were ushered off the stage by parents and teachers.
But it was only the dress rehearsal. What did it matter if they weren’t perfect today? That was the whole point. To work out the bugs before tomorrow.
“Hey!” a voice called. Julian turned to find Diane hurrying across the lobby.
“You’ve left your desk in the middle of a work day?” he said, surprised to see her out. “Either the world must be ending, or you’ve been replaced by an alien.”
“I can take a break every now and then,” she said, frowning at something on her phone. Julian had no doubt it was an email.
“A break? Now I’m really worried,” he teased.
Diane gave him a wane smile. “Chaos never ends. Not even for the holidays. But I figured I should pop down to get an early viewing. I’ve gotta do Christmas Eve shenanigans at my sister’s, so we’ll be heading off before the competition.”
“I’m glad you’re getting away,” Julian said.
“I’ve allowed myself two days. I’ll be back on Boxing Day if you need anything.”
“We’ll be fine,” Julian told her. “You should take the week. I’ll make sure Glendale is still standing when you’re back.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be. He hadn’t celebrated the holidays with either of his parents in years.
Diane pretended to shiver. “Being away that long would give me anxiety. I’d start having panic dreams, and my husband would send me back to work.”
Julian laughed. “Well, it was nice of you to stop by. I know the residents will appreciate it. We’re on in about…
” he checked his phone “…fifteen minutes.” A barbershop quartet took the stage.
“Speaking of, I should probably round the residents up. Make sure we don’t derail the production.
” He also had to find Maggie and Harriet and Doris.
If Doris wasn’t on the piano, he really didn’t know what he was going to do.
“I heard about Charlie leaving,” Diane said suddenly. “That’s unfortunate timing. But it sounds like she’s got some big opportunities in New York City.”
“Really big.” The words soured in his mouth. He didn’t begrudge Charlie stardom or fame. She was destined for bigger things than Glendale. And, he supposed, that meant bigger things than him, too. But hearing the words out loud stole his breath away.
“Next up!” he heard Heather call as she raced across the stage, waving a volunteer after her to fix the mic stand.
Julian’s heart stuttered against his ribs, and he resisted the urge to rub his chest. “That’s probably our cue,” he told Diane. “I better get them onstage before Heather blacklists Glendale from our favorite workshops.”
Diane nodded. “Break a leg or whatever they say.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. A little birdie told me that Frank’s being discharged.”
Julian’s eyes widened, his mood soaring at the news. “He’s getting out of the hospital?”
“Should be back at Glendale tonight. Charge nurse said there’s no reason why he can’t be onstage with the choir tomorrow.”
“That’s amazing news!” Exactly the kind of positive update he needed right now. He had to stop himself from looking around to tell Charlie. “Everyone will be stoked to have him back.”
“I won’t hold you much longer. I just wanted you to know that I am so impressed with what you’ve managed to accomplish here.”
“Thanks, Diane.”
“I know it’s a long shot, but win or lose, you’ve done everything you could to make this music program a reality for the residents.”
He nodded. Right now, he felt like a failure on a lot of fronts, so he appreciated her saying that. “I just really have to go and get the—”
“One more quick thing.” Diane said. “There’s an administrator role opening up at Glendale. Marlene is retiring unexpectedly.”
“Marlene’s been here forever,” Julian said. She was the general manager. She also worked very closely with Diane.
“She has,” Diane agreed. “But with her husband retiring last year and all the grandkids coming around, she’s decided she wants to leave earlier than planned.
By February, in fact. So it’s time for someone new to step into her role.
I’ve been mulling over who to hire, and I think I’d really like you to apply for the job, Julian. ”
His jaw dropped. “Me?”
“It’s a different kind of role from the one you’re currently doing—I know that—but I think you’ve proven how driven and adaptable you are.
I need someone who’s a go-getter. I also need someone who’s dependable.
Someone who genuinely cares about this community.
And it’s never been more obvious to me that that person is you. ”
“I, uh…” Wow. “I don’t really know what to say.” It would mean stepping away from his role as activities director and spending less hands-on time with the residents.
“It comes with a decent salary bump,” Diane said with a cheeky grin. “And the residents are always telling me to give you a raise.”
Julian laughed. “Let me guess. Maggie?”
“She’s in my office at least once a week.”
Julian ran his hand through his hair. “Can I take a bit to think about it?”
“Of course. I do need to put the job posting up soon, though. So, if you’re leaning one way or the other, let me know.”
“I will,” he promised, already backing away to find the choir. “See you in a few days.” He whirled around, running smack into Doris as he turned the corner.
“General manager?“ she said. “Congratulations. That’s a big step.”
Julian rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He hadn’t realized anyone had been there to overhear. “I, uh, yeah. Thanks. I’m not really sure about it yet.”
“What do you mean?” Doris said as they set off down the hall to collect the choir. “There could be no one better suited to the role.”
“Because…” It was something he never would have considered in a million years.
Because he was happy in his position. He was comfortable.
He was…stuck. And he’d been stuck for a while now, latching on for fear of losing out.
Or of somehow being left behind. “What if it doesn’t work out? ” he said softly.
“That’s always a possibility. But in my experience,” Doris said thoughtfully, “life is far more exciting when you ask yourself, ‘What if it does?’”
Julian found himself at a loss for words. If he made the leap, he didn’t know where he would land. But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t work out, right? And was he really going to stop himself from taking this opportunity out of fear?
Well, yeah. That had sort of been his MO since forever. But what was he trying to protect himself from anyway? The feeling of not being good enough? Of being left behind once he’d already invested too much of himself?
Because that had already happened. Charlie had walked away from him again, and Julian hadn’t been able to save himself from that experience.
And yet, he was still standing. He was hurt, sure, but his world hadn’t crumbled, his heart hadn’t stopped.
He’d still gotten out of bed in the morning and dragged himself to work and put on a happy face for the people he cared about, because life kept demanding things from him, and it didn’t care what he was afraid of.
So maybe it was time for him to push past those fears and take a chance on something new. Maybe it was time for him to choose himself.
“I think you’ll find,” Doris said, “that you have a lot of people in your corner. An entire roomful of them, to be exact. And they want to see you succeed.”
People who had chosen him, Julian realized with a start. Because the residents were more than just a job to him. They’d become his family. And there was nothing he wanted more than to continue to make a difference for his family.