Chapter 9 #3
I don’t know how long we stay like that – probably no more than two seconds, although it feels like time has slowed to a near stop.
It’s Elliot who breaks the spell, stepping back suddenly, and I step back too, pulling my hands back as if I’ve touched a stove top, shoving them into the pockets of my dress.
He coughs again, only this time it’s out of nervousness.
I don’t dare look at him. ‘Better,’ I get out before backing out of the dressing room. ‘I’ll let you get changed in peace,’ I say before escaping to his kitchen.
‘So? Do you think Teddy will like it?’ he asks when he comes to join me a few minutes later, dressed again in the clothes he wore for work. I hear his determination to make things normal between us, to get back to where we should be.
‘Yeah. Yeah. She will.’ I follow his lead, pushing past the moment in the dressing room, to get back on solid ground, to focus on Teddy and the amazing date she’s going to have. ‘Like I say, you can’t go wrong with a classic.’
I’m also good at doing this. Part of becoming such good friends with someone you once slept with is sidestepping the awkward bits that come along every now and again.
Time has told us we can do it well. The hope is that eventually the awkward moments will pass altogether and the shadow those few hours we spent in bed casts over us will fade completely.
‘Thanks, Lizzie. It’s a good job you’re here.’ He reaches out to give me a quick squeeze on my shoulder, his touch friendly, familiar. Appropriate.
‘Good luck, then,’ I say to him when I’ve made my excuses to leave, and he’s opened the front door to let me out.
‘You’ll have a great time. I know Teddy might come across as a little intimidating and like someone who cares about being seen in the right places, but that’s not the case.
She might be achingly cool, but she doesn’t look for that from anyone else.
She’s best friends with me, isn’t she? Remember she’s kind and funny and loves a good in-depth conversation almost as much as, well … you.’
‘OK,’ Elliot says, before taking in a gulp of air and expelling it out again in a shaky gush.
‘Seriously, it will be great,’ I say, appreciating exactly how nervous he is the more I try to reassure him. ‘Why are you so worried about this? Surely, you’ve been out with enough women to have a decent handle on a second date.’
‘I have, but this isn’t as casual as a lot of my other second dates, is it?
You’ve set us up. We’re both coming to this knowing you think we’re a good match, and I know how much you want this whole plan of yours to work out.
Teddy said your first date with Jordan went really well and you said you couldn’t wait for the next one, which is wonderful, really, it is, but it kind of puts the pressure on a bit. ’
That’s why he didn’t ask me about Jordan.
He didn’t need to. It’s an adjustment to our friendship I hadn’t thought about having to make – me not having to tell him everything about what’s going on with me because he now has another source of information.
Before now, it’s been completely up to me what I share with Elliot about my life outside school, because there’s been no common person between us to tell him anything I don’t want.
It’s not that I wouldn’t have told him about Jordan if he’d have asked, but I would have been able to decide what to say.
I wonder if Teddy being around is going to mean less messages between us, less Sunday evening voice notes back and forth about the weekend.
I wonder if he’ll no longer feel the need for us to wander down to the local café in our free periods when we’ve been busy and need to catch up because he’ll already know how I’ve been.
As these thoughts clutter my mind, I can feel a lump growing in my throat, before I tell myself to snap out of it. As much as I’m starting to work out how greatly our friendship could change, as unwelcome as that all is, that’s not the most important issue right now.
‘There’s no pressure whatsoever, I promise. Please treat this like any other date, El, and don’t worry about it needing to work. Go and enjoy some overly expensive sushi and a drink or two with liquid nitrogen coming out of it. Stop worrying.’
‘OK,’ he says again, and this time there’s no shaky breath after it, only a small smile. ‘I do like her, you know, and I am looking forward to tonight, especially now I’ve got my outfit nailed. Thanks, Lizzie.’
I plaster the biggest smile I can muster on my face. ‘You’re welcome.’
‘I’m glad it’s going well with Jordan, by the way. Sorry I never asked about him. It’s just—’
‘No worries,’ I say, cutting him off. I have no idea what he means by it’s just, why he didn’t want to find out about my date himself, but I don’t ask. It feels like we’re at our limit of being in each other’s love lives. ‘Goodnight, Elliot.’
Back in the car, my stomach rumbles, and the clock on the dashboard tells me it’s nearly six, meaning I should technically be passed out by lack of food now, but instead of making for home, I pull onto the motorway that will take me to the large out-of-town shopping mall.
Food can wait a little longer. Tomorrow is my second date with Jordan, and I’ve the sudden urge to have the perfect dress for it.