Chapter 14
Jordan arrives an hour before everyone else.
In his pale blue Oxford shirt, dark jeans and wide, easy smile, he looks like he was born to attend amateur dinner parties hosted by a questionable cook with a mismatch of guests, after which, he will most likely be sleeping with his new girlfriend for the first time.
He pulls me into his arms, and I hug back tightly hoping some of his calm energy will rub off on me.
‘Wow. You look incredible,’ he purrs into my ear. ‘I’ve never seen you in all black before. It’s very, very sexy.’
I look down at the new black corset top I’ve paired with my trusty black jeans. My boobs are pressed up, and there’s a slither of skin showing between the top’s hem and the waistband of my jeans that I’m not unaware makes the most of my figure.
He leans down and picks up his bag – Samsonite, black, very smart.
‘Do you want to show me where to put my stuff?’ he asks.
It sounds a practical question, but there’s a glint in his eye that tells me if we went into the bedroom now, he’d have no intention of coming straight back out.
That’s not going to work right now though, not when I’ve a million things that need to be done before anyone else arrives.
‘Sure. Second door to the right.’
Jordan returns a few minutes later and hovers behind me in the narrow kitchen as I pulp up mango and strawberries for the welcome cocktails, roll out pastry, then try, and fail, to find the olives I bought.
He keeps asking if I’m sure I don’t need help, but there’s a million things to do, and the effort of explaining any of them to him will slow me down, so I refuse.
I suggest he goes into the lounge, to relax on my window seat with a beer, but he stays where he is.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have asked him to come early.
It was my suggestion he help set things up with me.
I thought it would be nice for us to greet everyone else together rather than him arriving on his own.
I thought it would help me feel less worried about tonight if I could start it with him first, but now he’s here, wanting to help, being perfect and lovely as always, I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. Almost like he’s in the way.
‘Shit, shit, shit,’ I shout when the doorbell goes at precisely the same time the whipped cream for later falls out of the fridge.
‘Here, let me get that,’ he says, stepping forward to pick up the glass bowl which mercifully hasn’t smashed and wiping a few splodges of cream that have escaped with a tea towel.
‘You greet your guests, and I’ll rearrange this fridge, so you don’t take your life in your hands every time you open it. ’
‘Thank you.’ I smile at him properly, without distraction, for the first time since he arrived. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so stressed.’
‘It’s fine. You answer the door, and I’ll be out in a minute. It’s going to be great,’ he tells me, and he looks so genuine, so unaware that I’ve never done anything like this before and already know it’s going to be far from great, I’m torn between laughing at him and kissing him for his optimism.
I do neither and leave him to answer the door on my own. I open it to find Teddy and Elliot both looking alarmed.
‘We heard the bang,’ Teddy tells me.
‘Oh that? That was nothing. Everything’s fine,’ I say, my voice bright and unnatural.
‘Good. In that case, are you going to let us in? I’ve rushed straight from work to pick up El, and I am desperate for a drink,’ she declares before turning to Elliot and smiling at him, rolling her eyes at the same time. I realise I’ve not properly opened the door to them yet.
‘Yeah, sorry, come on in. I’ll get you both a cocktail.’
Once inside, Teddy covers me in a hug and lets out an excited squeal right into my ear.
‘I love that we’re doing this,’ she says.
Elliot doesn’t hug me, of course, but does give me an out of character arm rub.
Since Karina told me about the weekend away Elliot had planned for him and Teddy, my intentions for tonight have changed. It’s no longer just about helping Karina out, it’s about finding out what’s going on with Teddy and Elliot.
I texted Teddy to ask her about the weekend as soon as I got back from the supermarket.
She sent me a long message apologising for not mentioning it, saying she presumed Elliot would have told me, before going on to swoon at how perfect the weekend was.
Elliot’s family had been so relaxed and warm compared to how competitive and tense her own are.
After such a glowing report, I’m keen to see them together and work out how serious this is getting.
I’m discreetly studying their body language when Jordan comes out of the kitchen, and we all turn to him.
‘Hello, everyone,’ he says, and I watch as Teddy turns to him, a mega-watt smile appearing on her face milliseconds after weighing him up.
‘So great to meet you, Jordan,’ she says, embracing him and planting a friendly kiss on his cheek before leading him off to the lounge.
Jordan turns back and after smiling at me, his eyes go to Elliot, who is busy taking off his shoes.
He hesitates, but Teddy calls his name and I give him a thumbs up before turning back to El.
There are endless, stupid comments we could make to each other at this moment to mirror the warm greeting that’s just taken place between Teddy and Jordan.
You must be Teddy’s date? Elliot, is it?
How lovely to meet you … I’m a little proud of us both that we simply say hello before Elliot walks past me straight into the lounge to shake Jordan’s hand before making a beeline to where Bud is lying on the couch.
He gives Bud a stroke in his favourite spot behind his ears before taking off his coat to reveal a dark grey fitted T-shirt that clings to his toned body.
‘Wow,’ Teddy says, taking her eyes off Jordan to admire Elliot’s muscles.
I didn’t think Elliot particularly cared about fitness, thought his regime of bacon butties on a Friday and the odd run here and there was aligned to mine.
But turns out there’s another thing about Elliot that’s caught me by surprise.
Seeing him looking this good gives me a strange, unwelcome feeling I should definitely never have around him.
‘You look incredible,’ Teddy continues, moving from Jordan’s side towards him. ‘Why haven’t I seen you in this before and why aren’t you wearing it every day of your life?’
Elliot’s cheeks redden, and I don’t blame him.
‘It’s new. A last minute buy this morning. I wasn’t sure it suited me.’
‘Oh no, it does. It was a great choice. Tell him, Lizzie!’
Now it’s time for my cheeks to burst into flames. ‘Yeah, the colour, it’s er, very nice,’ I manage to get out.
Teddy laughs. ‘That’s an understatement.’
After a few more seconds gawping at Elliot, she seems to remember that she was mid-conversation with Jordan and moves back to him. Jordan shoots me a curious look before he turns back to Teddy and asks her to repeat her question.
Elliot and I stand frozen in the topic she’s started and then left.
I turn back to him, hoping he’ll make a joke or something to make it feel less awkward.
I find him already looking at me, and after a few beats he turns away, focusing all his attention on stroking Bud’s ginger fur so intently that the cat begins to purr, his cheeks still flaming as he does.
‘Drinks. I’ll get drinks,’ I declare in a loud voice before making my escape.
The doorbell rings again before I make it to the kitchen.
Teddy goes to answer it and lets Matthew and Karina in.
I say a quick hello, instantly warming to Matthew who has his arm around Karina and gives me the warmest, most generous smile.
It reaches all the way up to his eyes, which are surrounded by little crinkles in his skin.
I leave them to it while I finish off the drinks.
By the time I’m done and have dug around in the back of a cupboard to pull out a tatty tray covered in a duck pattern, I can hear laughter coming from the lounge.
This is going to be fine, I tell myself and go to join them.
Once everyone has rushed towards me to take a drink, we congregate in the middle of the lounge, forming a circle and take self-conscious sips of the overly sweet mixture.
If Teddy were here on her own, she’d have her feet up on my couch by now.
If it was just me and Karina, she’d have picked Bud up and settled him on her lap.
But it’s Teddy and Elliot, Karina and Matthew, me and Jordan tonight.
Apparently triple dating doesn’t allow for such comforts.
Everyone shifts uncomfortably. No one speaks.
The laughter from moments before has disappeared and it’s horrendous.
It’s only now – right now in the middle of it – that it becomes clear how right my initial feelings were about how painful being forced into close proximity with your ex for the evening while dating a new person would be.
Karina can’t look up from her lap. Jordan can’t keep his eyes from darting to Elliot every few seconds, despite how tightly he’s holding my hand.
Matthew looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up.
Teddy is pretending to be totally fine with seeing Matthew again, but she’s already necked her drink and keeps looking down at it, incredulous there’s none left.
I’d like to say Elliot and I are the only two who aren’t affected by the atmosphere of intense awkwardness that’s descended on us, but it feels weird between us too.
It’s like I’m watching the scene on TV, thinking to myself fuck their lives.
‘Well, this is … painful,’ Teddy says before laughing. ‘We’re going to need a hell of a lot more to drink than this, Lizzie, to get us through the night.’