Chapter 17 #3
‘You never dance?’ Karina repeats in surprise.
‘Nope. Never.’
‘How can you say such a thing?’ I can’t resist joining in the questioning, despite the recent coolness between us. ‘What about when you’re in the flat on your own and a banger of a jazz song comes on, or when you’re in school and the year elevens ask if you can twerk?’
The corners of his mouth pull up, but he stands firm. ‘Never, and I seriously hope for your future career you’ve not felt the need to prove your twerking skills in front of a bunch of teenagers.’
‘Never.’
Elliot raises his eyebrows, and we’re smiling at each other, and it’s a little glimpse back to how we used to be at our best.
‘Well, you are now,’ Karina tells him, reaching forward and taking his hands. ‘It can be your engagement present to us. Go and dance with Lizzie for this song, and you’ll make our evening complete.’
Out of all the pairings this ex-plan has created, one of the sweetest is the relationship between Elliot and Karina, who get on so well and take the piss out of each other like siblings. Elliot narrows his eyes at her, and she smiles sweetly back before shooing him onto the dance floor with me.
‘You owe me, Karina,’ I say, before downing my wine and handing her my empty glass as she lets out a whoop.
They are all looking on, and there’s nothing else to do but begin sidestepping and swaying our shoulders.
Jordan looks bemused at why I’m being so awkward when he’s seen how much I like to dance whenever the chance comes up.
I motion for him to come onto the dance floor and join me, but he laughs and shakes his head.
Thankfully, the music is loud, so there’s no need to try talking.
A few more minutes and Elliot’s crushing embarrassment will be over.
I’m hardly loving being up here either, but it’s kind of refreshing to be less uncomfortable than Elliot is in this moment.
The melody ramps up and as it does, I think screw it and begin to enjoy the music.
My dance moves grow bigger, less restrained.
I’m surprised to see Elliot following suit.
He matches my twirls and hair swishes, and before long we’re dancing to ‘Proud Mary’ like it should be danced to – as if no one is watching.
We’re sweaty and laughing, and I can tell he’s as relieved as I am we’re this little bit closer to how we used to be when the music suddenly cuts and is replaced by the slow opening notes of a Teddy Swims ballad.
All of the energy leaves me, and I feel frozen to the spot, unsure what to do.
Everyone is looking at us because we’re still the only two people on the dance floor, and I know I need to move and do something, but what exactly alludes me.
It’s Elliot who moves first, who steps forward and puts one hand lightly on my waist before using his other hand to take one of mine.
He pulls me gently towards him before starting to sway us both.
At first all I’m trying to do is not think about the pressure of his hand on my body, the heat coming off him and the smell of his aftershave.
I stay silent, looking beyond his shoulder at anything but his face.
‘Look what you’ve got us into,’ he says softly into my ear.
He’s aiming for lightness, but there’s a slight tremor to his voice that makes my heart race furiously, that makes the wall I’ve spent the last three months building start to crumble.
We’re so close to each other, I’m praying he can’t feel it through the thin fabric of my dress.
I try to steady it by catching Karina or Teddy’s eye, by breaking the moment and laughing, but someone has dimmed the lights, other people have joined us now, and I can’t spot them.
The dance floor is small, and soon the wide circle of space we had to dance in at the start reduces drastically.
He drops my hand so he can press his own hand onto my back and pull me closer.
He doesn’t speak, and nor do I. Couples surround us, and at the centre of them, it feels like we’ve disappeared, like we’ve become invisible, and it’s just the two of us.
My hands make their way to his back, and I shift him closer to me until my chest meets his and our stomachs collide.
He breathes in sharply, and I can feel his heart racing, just as I’m sure he can feel mine.
The song reaches its end just as I’m at the point where I can’t bear it any longer, where the silence and the heat and the solid warmth of his body on mine is pulling me dangerously close to an admission I’ve been managing to avoid for months.
Elliot steps back, and I catch one look of the confused expression on his face before he exhales and covers it with a small smile before turning away from me.
I follow him off the dance floor, past the other couples until we get back to the bar and I catch another expression I shouldn’t have seen tonight – Jordan’s. His forehead is wrinkled in confusion as he looks from Elliot to me, and it’s impossible to ignore the hurt in his eyes.