Chapter 18
THEA
The next afternoon, after a morning of avoiding Owen and all my complicated feelings, Addy pulls me into her room with an excited squeal. She throws her body against the inside of the door, her back landing with a thud as she smiles at me with a bit of mania in her eyes.
“My dress was just delivered after the last round of alterations,” she says, giving a little jump.
I let out an uncharacteristic squeal myself. “Can I see it? Please?”
It wrecked me when she went wedding dress shopping without me, even though I understood she was on a time crunch and couldn’t wait for me to have an evening off work. That pain eased a bit when she told me how excited she was to show me. It won’t feel like my dress until you see me in it.
Her body shakes like she’s undergoing an exorcism. “Yes!”
Addy pulls the garment bag out of the bathroom, her body folding under the weight, but she gets it hung from the edge of the closet.
A burst of tulle and lace flies out as she unzips it, but once the silhouette settles, I can see how perfect it is.
An A-line ball gown with a lace overlay.
The sweetheart neckline will be gorgeous on her, and the sheer lace sleeves give it a classic look.
If someone had sent me into the nicest wedding dress store in the world with an unlimited budget, this is still what I’d have picked out for her.
I blink back tears as I help her into the dress, doing up the three thousand exposed buttons that run from the top of her butt to the nape of her neck. I step up behind her, my height giving me an inch on her, even with her wedding heels on.
“Addy, you’re perfect,” I whisper, swatting away the tear that managed to escape my blinking.
“You think so?” she asks, her voice low to match mine, like neither of us wants to share this moment, even with the silence around us.
“Yes, but wait one minute. I have something for you in my room. Don’t move.”
I sprint down the hall to grab the present I wasn’t willing to give her in front of everyone. I dig the jewelry box out of my suitcase and sprint back. She hasn’t moved an inch when I get back, staring in the mirror and running a hand over the lace like she needs to prove it’s real.
I step behind her again, meeting her gaze in the mirror as I bring the box in front of her. Her brows pull together as a small smile plays on her beautiful face, but she gently takes the box from my hands.
“For your something blue,” I say, my body buzzing with nervous excitement.
She pops the top of the jewelry box and gasps when she sees the dark blue teardrop gemstone. Her hand covers her mouth as she blinks back tears. “Tia, this is too much.”
“It’s really not,” I say with a laugh. “I always thought it was a sapphire, but I took it to a jeweler a couple years ago, and it’s blue topaz. Still pretty, but not worth much.”
Not that I’d have ever sold it. I’d fought to keep it hidden over the years, to keep it safe for a moment like this.
“Always thought?” Addy asks, meeting my eyes in the mirror as she blinks in confusion.
Tears fill my eyes again, and I swipe them away. “It was Mom’s. I saved it for us.”
It wasn’t easy, keeping it out of sight so none of our foster parents or siblings nabbed it, making sure it was with us on every move.
It’s the only thing we have left of our mother besides a few ratty pictures stuffed in a box in my closet, and I was determined not to lose it.
Determined to have her be a part of this moment, even if she can’t be here.
The snap of the jewelry box shakes me out of my thoughts.
Addy’s expression slides into that serene, fake smile I’ve seen pointed at so many others, and my stomach turns to lead.
In the twenty-three years of Addy’s life, she’s never looked at me like that.
She does a weird little curtsy bob as she hands it back to me over her shoulder.
“This is so sweet, but I already have my jewelry picked out,” she says, turning her focus back to the lines of her dress.
I laugh a little, just as forced as Addy’s calm expression. “Yeah, but that was before the gift. That’s how surprises work.”
“It’s pretty, but the other jewelry goes better with my dress,” she says, still not meeting my eyes.
This isn’t how this was supposed to go. When I told her who it belonged to, she was supposed to tear up, too.
She’d ask me to put it on her, and while I did, I’d tell her my favorite stories of Mom.
Of her helping me give Addy a bottle for the first time.
How she taught me every word to “Bohemian Rhapsody” so we could sing it together, her gently setting baby Addy down so we could head bang during the guitar solo.
Her making up wild, elaborate stories based on a handful of random things I’d ask her to include.
She wasn’t a perfect person—I know that better than most—but she’s a part of us. I just need to help her see that.
“This would go perfectly! It looks like it was made for this dress. Here, let’s just try it on.” I pop the jewelry box back open. “You need to see it with the dress.”
“I really don’t need to, Tia,” she says, her tone sliding from the calm, fake one to something more clipped.
“Yes, you do. You can’t imagine it without see—”
Addy twirls to face me, the lace and tulle swishing around her legs like a whip primed to lash me. “I don’t need to see it to know I’m not going to wear it, Thea.”
My grip on the jewelry box tightens, forcing it to clap back closed. The sound echoes in the room around us while we stand off.
“But,” I start before the words grind to a stop. I have no idea how to finish that sentence. “But this is for you.”
“I don’t want it,” Addy says. There’s a flash of something—almost pain—across her face, then she lifts her chin.
“Why wouldn’t you want it?” I ask with a bit of desperation. “It’s perfect with your dress, and you’ll have a part of Mom walking down the aisle with you.”
“I don’t want her going down the aisle with me,” she says.
I rear back. “Why not? She was our mother.”
“No,” Addy yells, finally breaking. “She was your mother. I never knew the woman. All she is to me is the junkie who got knocked up but cared more about her next hit than her daughters. Why would I want to honor a woman who didn’t even care enough to stay alive for us?”
The question lands like a slap to the face, and I rear back. “She was sick, Adelaide.”
I knew she didn’t feel the same connection to Mom that I’ve always had. How could she when she doesn’t even remember her? But I didn’t know it was this extreme. That she’d have this visceral reaction to the idea of her being a part of her wedding day.
Addy flinches at the use of her full name. “Fine, yes. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s given me nothing but a difficult life and an uncomfortable backstory.”
“And a sister,” I yell, and she has the audacity to rub her forehead like I’m the irrational one here.
Our mother is what ties us together. She’s what kept us from being separated all those years, and Addy wants to pretend like she never existed?
“This doesn’t need to be a fight. Please. She’s nothing to me, and I’d rather spend this day focusing on my future family than the one that I could never rely on.”
It doesn’t escape my notice that she said “family” and not “mother.” I’m fuming.
I didn’t make the best choices as a kid, and yes, there was a lot she lost because of me, but I’ve been by her side for everything.
I made it clear to everyone in our homes that if they wanted a piece of Addy, they’d have to go through me first. If she wanted to leave her family—leave me—in the past, who was I to stop her.
“I’m fucking out of here,” I say, stomping to the door.
“Thea,” she calls behind me, and I twirl back to her with embarrassing speed, ready to hear her apology and put everything right between us.
There’s a flash of something that almost looks like betrayal—which makes no sense when she’s the one betraying me—and then her face hardens. “I can’t undo this dress myself.”
Oh, fuck her.
“Why don’t you call one of your reliable new family members to help you out,” I say before storming out.
I stalk down the hallway, fighting the urge to slam back into Addy’s room and throw out words I’d regret immediately. Staying here isn’t an option. I have to get out, go anywhere, do anything to avoid the temptation to cause more damage.
I head to the hotel lobby, stopping at the coffee bar to give my hands something to do, but my first sip of caffeine sets off the jitters.
The need to keep moving bites at my heels, so I head up the path to the event space where the wedding will be held in just a few days.
There has to be something there that can occupy me.
A ridiculous centerpiece to make or handwritten welcome notes Addy wants in perfect cursive.
I rip the door open, slamming into a hard body right over the threshold.
“Shit,” I holler as the coffee in my hands tumbles to the ground, the contents spilling all over the floor. “Shit, fuck, dammit!”
I rip my sweater over my head as I drop to the floor, using it to soak the coffee up before it ruins the pristine hardwood. I’ve never had wood floors, but I know enough to know you aren’t supposed to pour hot liquid all over them.
A figure squats down next to me, and a quick sideways glance tells me it’s Owen. He lays his hand over mine. “Stop, Thea.”
“I’m not going to ruin your family’s floor, too.”
He doesn’t ask me what else I ruined. Why ask, when it’s clear I ruin everything?
Owen pulls the sweater out of my hands and waves to someone, and a second later a cousin I recognize from the past few days jogs over. “Can you grab a mop for this, please?” Owen asks, such perfect politeness, easily maneuvering out of reach when I try to grab my sweater.
“Give that back,” I snarl. “I need to soak up the coffee before the floor’s ruined.”