Chapter 17
HARPER
“I’m so glad you were able to meet today,” Tara said as she sat down opposite Harper at their favorite coffee shop and passed her one of the cappuccinos she held in her hands. “I want to hear all about how the wedding planning is going.”
“I’m having a lot of fun,” Harper confessed.
“I think you’re really going to love what we’ve put together.
But Theo and I agreed we weren’t going to tell you or Max any details.
It’s so rare that someone gets to have their whole wedding put together behind their back and be surprised, and we really want to take advantage of that opportunity here. ”
“Have I been leaning too much on you, asking you to do all this for us?” Tara looked slightly guilty.
“Not at all,” Harper assured her. “I’ve been having a great time. Don’t worry about that.”
“Because I know you have your own life to deal with, too. I don’t want to make too many demands on your time.”
“No. I know that, of course. But this is what I do,” Harper reminded her friend. “It’s fun for me. I’m having a good time, I promise.”
“Is Theo helping? You know, I wasn’t sure if he would, because he can be a little… standoffish at times.”
“Is that the word you’d use?” Harper laughed. “I guess he can be, but he is coming through, don’t worry. We’ve gotten a lot done together.”
That much was certainly true. Since the night they had been stranded together, Harper and Theo had collaborated much more easily than they had before. They no longer fought over every little decision, and Harper found it easy to get him on the phone when she needed to speak to him about something.
But she’d found herself reaching out to him less and less in spite of that.
She couldn’t have said exactly why. Every time something came up for the wedding, she’d think about calling him, and every time, she would decide she didn’t need to.
She collected options for cakes, put them in a folder, and set them aside.
She chose the favors — monogrammed candles — without asking for his input at all.
She justified it by telling herself he had never cared about things like favors, and he would be glad to have something taken off his plate.
But if she was honest with herself, that wasn’t the whole truth. She was avoiding calling him because the idea of speaking with him made her feel vaguely nauseous, as if she had missed a step going down. And she knew why that was.
In spite of herself, in spite of everything she knew about him and about how incompatible the two of them would be in reality, she had developed feelings for Theo.
It infuriated her to admit it. It was so irresponsible of her, and she hadn’t meant for it to happen at all.
Even that night, lying on that couch, allowing him to kiss her — kissing him back — even then, she hadn’t meant for anything serious to happen.
She had been caught up in the moment. She’d been sure that was all it was.
It was only now, in the aftermath, that she was realizing she had wanted more.
He had said the words one-time thing, and her stomach had lurched with disappointment at the realization that they weren’t on the same page at all.
And even so, she couldn’t bring herself to regret what had happened. She didn’t think she had ever felt such a potent connection to another person. Could it really be that he hadn’t experienced what she had? Or did he simply not care?
Either way, the idea of looking him in the eyes felt daunting to her now, and she found herself wishing they could just finish the wedding and go their separate ways.
At the same time, though, she thought of the day they would part ways with a pang of distress, for she knew that there would be nothing to keep them in one another’s lives.
It wasn’t as if their mutual love for Max and Tara would be enough to do that.
He had made no secret of the fact that he didn’t feel the need to be an active participant in the family — he showed his love for his brother in other ways.
After this wedding, she might very well never see him again.
“I’m glad you’re getting along,” Tara said with a smile. “You know, I don’t think Theo has a lot of friends. He pushes people away. I don’t know whether you’ve picked up on that.”
Harper hummed noncommittally.
“Enough wedding stuff. Tell me about you!” Tara sipped her drink. “I feel like everything has been about me lately.”
“Well, of course it has. You are getting married, after all.”
“Oh, I know that, but I feel like a bad friend for not paying as much attention as I should to your life. What’s happening? Is there anything new about your work? I know you’re trying to transition into full-time wedding planning.”
“Doing your wedding has actually really helped me advance that,” Harper said. “I feel much more competent these days, and I’m shoring up my relationships with all these great vendors. I’m going to be so ready for the next wedding that comes my way, when this one is done.”
“That’s amazing!” Tara enthused. “So, I’m actually helping you by getting you to do this for me?”
“You are helping me a lot.” Harper smiled. “And I’m very grateful, no worries there.”
“Well, and what about your personal life?”
“My personal life?”
“Have you been on any dates recently? It feels like forever since we’ve sat and talked about guys.”
Harper laughed, but she felt a twinge in the pit of her stomach. “Nothing to report on that front, I’m afraid. Still terminally single.”
“Oh, come on. There must be someone who at least has your eye.”
“Not really.”
“Harper, you’re blushing! There is someone, isn’t there!
Why won’t you tell me?” Tara frowned. “I thought you and I told each other everything. You know, all my married friends have told me that they fell out of contact with their single friends once they tied the knot, but I don’t want that to happen to you and me. ”
“It won’t,” Harper assured her. “Nothing like that could ever happen to us, Tara. You know that.”
“Then why aren’t you telling me about your boyfriend?”
“Because I haven’t got a boyfriend. It really isn’t like that. You’re picking up on nothing. I… went on a date with a guy.” That was the simplest way to characterize it.
“You went out with someone and you didn’t tell me? I can’t believe you, Harper!”
Harper had to laugh. “There wasn’t anything to tell! It was one date. There isn’t going to be a second one.” Her stomach twisted, as it always did when she reminded herself of that fact, but she did her best to ignore it.
“Why no second date?” Tara demanded. “Was he bad in bed?”
“Tara!”
“You would not be blushing like that if you hadn’t gone to bed with him. I know you too well, Harper. Spill.”
“All right, fine, but lower your voice! I didn’t come here to tell the whole coffee shop about my private life.” She shook her head and leaned in so that they could speak more quietly. “Yes, we slept together.”
“So he was bad!”
“No, he wasn’t at all. God, Tara, you’ve got a one-track mind sometimes. I can’t believe you’re about to be a married woman.”
“But if the sex wasn’t bad…”
“You really can’t think of any other reasons a person might not want a second date with someone, can you?” She smiled and shook her head. “You’re hilarious, Tara.”
“Well, tell me what the reason was, then,” Tara countered. “Was he a jerk or something? But he couldn’t have been, because if he was, how did he get you into his bed in the first place?”
“He wasn’t a jerk. He was a little emotionally unavailable, but he was a nice guy.
” She hesitated, knowing she couldn’t say too much.
She didn’t want to slip up and reveal that Theo was the person she was talking about.
For one thing, she had no idea how her friend might feel if she realized that Harper had slept with her future brother-in-law.
She might not mind at all, of course, but there was no way to be sure, and Harper didn’t want to risk making Tara angry with her.
And then there was the matter of the wedding.
Even if Tara didn’t mind at all — even if she was in favor of a fling between Harper and Theo — it might steal attention away from the wedding, and that was the last thing Harper wanted to do.
She had been asked to help make beautiful memories for her friend, not to steal the bride’s thunder. And she wouldn’t let that happen.
Tara was watching her expectantly. “So?” she pushed. “Who was this nice guy who was great in bed that you don’t want to see again for some reason?”
“Just a guy I met on a dating app,” Harper said. “We had better chemistry online than in person, that’s all.”
“But still enough chemistry that—”
“Oh, my God. Stop! Yes, I went to bed with him. You’re the last person who should be judging.” Before she had settled down with Max, Tara had been a world-class player.
Tara laughed. “I’m not judging,” she said.
“I think it’s great. I mean, if I’m judging at all, it’s only because I wish you would let yourself have a little more fun sometimes, you know?
You take life way too seriously, Harper.
You should see this guy again! Let yourself have a little fun, even if you know it isn’t going to amount to anything more serious.
Hell, especially if you know that it isn’t. You deserve it.”
“You’re sweet,” Harper said. “Maybe at another time in my life I would have thought about it. Or maybe at some point in the future. But right now, I just have too much else going on. I need to focus on my career.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun from time to time,” Tara said.
“I have plenty of fun!” Harper defended herself.
“Not this kind of fun. Harper, I know you want to get married someday. But not every guy you spend time with has to be a potential husband. Sometimes it can just be about having a good time. Did you have a good time with this man?”
“Well, yes,” Harper admitted. “But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to see him again. The fact of the matter is that he wasn’t someone that I can take seriously. So, I did have a good night with him. But that’s all it’s ever going to amount to.
Tara gave a sigh. “Sometimes you really make me wish that I was single again,” she said.
“You don’t wish that,” Harper said with a laugh. “You and Max are the perfect couple. Your kids are beautiful. I know perfectly well that you wouldn’t change that for anything.”
“Well, no, of course I wouldn’t,” Tara agreed. “But if I could just be single on the weekends or something like that, you and I could go out on double dates. I could help you meet guys.”
“I don’t need you to be my wing-woman.”
“No,” Tara said with a smile, “I really think you do. I think that’s exactly what you need.”
Harper turned her attention back to her coffee, hoping to end the conversation. But the seed Tara had planted in her head didn’t seem to want to go away.
Maybe her friend was right. Maybe she should be trying to see Theo again.
But it doesn’t matter what I want. Theo doesn’t want us to have that kind of relationship. And I can’t push. If I did, it could ruin everything.
She would just have to do her best to forget the way she felt — to forget him. It was the only way to move forward.