Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
KAMILA
W hat did I just do? What the hell did I just do? I broke all of my rules.
It meant nothing, Kamila. Especially not to him. It was one night.
Only it means so much more than a one-night stand because of our past. I saw it in his face, too. There was anger, hunger, and a primal need, but the guilt, oh God, the guilt is starting to set in.
Ana.
“Shit!” I shout while walking down the driveway of the Kappa house. How could I be so stupid and careless?
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I cringe, remembering what I saw in the mirror.
My hair is a huge, tangled mess, I have makeup under my eyes, and I’m commando in a dress in cold weather with no jacket. I kick a rock with a grunt which hurts like a bitch because of my shoes.
Dialing the local cab company in town, the operator informs me that there’s about a ten-minute wait. Great, more time to question my life choices in the cold.
Remembering my friends who I just ditched, I shoot a message to Levi .
Me: Hey don’t feel well, must’ve been something I ate. Headed home now in a cab. Is everything okay on your end?
My phone buzzes.
Levi: Sorry babe. I was wondering why you were taking so long I was getting worried. Let me know if you need anything. Don’t worry about Ems, she’s being well taken care of.
Me: Thanks. I appreciate all of you.
Levi: Of course 3
My friends are amazing, and I suck. Spotting the cab, I climb in. In a few minutes, we reach Astor Hall. Throwing my money to the driver, who’s giving me an I know what you did look, I rush to my room. Someone in the group might bring Em home soon, and I don’t want them to see me this way. I hurriedly get ready for bed. It’s only one in the morning and I’m already getting ready to go to sleep on my birthday. How lame is that?
Closing my eyes and doing my breathing exercises, I’m hoping that sleep will find me, but nope, my brain has other plans. I keep tossing and turning, thinking about Cameron. His sounds and his facial expressions when he comes.
Pulling my pillow over my face, I scream and kick my feet like a child.
The sex was good…okay, it was great. I haven’t had anyone treat me like that in bed before. Most guys have been so delicate with me, like I’m breakable, and after a while, it gets old.
How did this come to be? We were best friends for almost two years in high school. We spent most days together and sure, I found him attractive, but I was never jealous of him and Ana. What changed? Tension? Chemistry? Hormones? Time? Mutual hatred?
I try thinking back on more memories between us, attempting to figure out if there were any signs of this in high school, and my mind drifts to one specific day …
A little under three years ago
Ana, Cam, and I are walking down the hallway to homeroom. We just got back from winter break, and it’s freakin’ freezing outside, but I’m still required to wear my cheerleading uniform every day, no matter the weather. It might be off-season for the football team, but we have practice year-round.
Ana’s going on about something to do with the Prom committee, even though it’s still around five months away. I tune her out. If I don’t tune her out here and there, I think I’d kill her. I love my twin, but we live together, go to school together, and she’s dating my best friend. That is way more time than any sibling should be spending with the other.
Cameron and I got the same homeroom class again this year. Ana tried to change her schedule to be with us, but our class was already full. Finally, we get to the point in the hallways where we have to go our separate ways. Cam and Ana kiss each other quickly. Thankfully, they don’t ever make out in front of me.
“You okay there, Kami?” He smiles down at me. Cam’s been happier lately. He and Ana are better, I think. That’s what they both tell me anytime I ask.
“I’m good. Just thinking that I’m happy that you’re happy.”
He looks surprised for a second. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Are you happy?”
“I am, although I’ve been wanting to ask you something—” I’m interrupted when I bump into a hard chest and stumble back. Cam catches me before I fall, but so do the dark brown hands of the person in front of me.
“Jordan, be careful about where you’re going, man,” Cam says, annoyed.
Jordan’s dark eyes and perfect face are filled with concern.
Jordan and I have been flirting back and forth for the last couple of months after his football practices and during history class.
He hasn’t asked me out yet, but I have a feeling he will soon. I’m hoping that he doesn’t think anything serious will happen if we do go out on a date. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t plan to, at least until college. Sure, he’s gorgeous and smart, but graduation is only a few months away.
“I’m so sorry, Kami. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, guys, seriously, I’m not made of glass.”
Jordan chuckles. He still hasn’t taken his hands off my forearms. When I look down at them, he takes them away as if I’m on fire. I give him a shy, flirtatious smile, and he gives me one back.
Cam clears his throat, his eyes hardening toward Jordan.
“Um, Cameron, can you give us a minute, please? I’ll be right in.” I give him a slight push, which catches his attention.
“Fine.” He smiles tightly. “It was good seeing you, Jordan.”
Jordan offers his fist to Cam, and fortunately, he bumps it back. “You too.”
After he disappears into our classroom, I turn my full attention to Jordan. “So, you just happened to be hanging out right in front of my homeroom class?”
He looks down for a second, hiding his telling eyes. “Actually I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What’s up?”
“Before I get to that.” He takes his backpack off his shoulder, and I see a bouquet of some sort sticking out. Jordan hands the present over. They’re all tulips of different colors. Tulips are my absolute favorite kinds of flowers, specifically red ones, as they represent loyalty, respect, and gratitude, amongst other things.
“How did you know I loved tulips?” I smell the bouquet and it instantly reminds me of the perfume my mom got me for Christmas.
“Just asked some of your teammates.” He shrugs shyly.
“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I lower the flowers from my face. “So, what did you want to ask me?”
“I know it’s off-season right now, and we don’t really get to hang out outside of school anymore ? —"
“Yeah, I know. I miss hanging out with everyone on game days.”
“I miss it too.” He shuffles on his feet. “I was wondering if you wanted to get some pizza together, just the two of us this week?” His jaw is tense while waiting for my answer.
It takes me a second to come up with the right words. “Well, Jordan…”
He shakes his head. “Shit, I read this all wrong.”
I quickly correct him. “No, it’s not that; I am interested.”
He narrows his eyes. “Is there a but coming?”
Smiling, I nod. “But I’m not looking to be in a serious relationship right now. It’s not because I’m against them or don’t want one eventually, but now is not the time.”
He shakes his head. “I totally get that and respect it. This would be a casual thing. Just two friends, who are possibly attracted to each other, getting pizza.”
Laughing and satisfied with his answer I say yes. “Pick me up at seven on Friday?”
“Sounds good to me.” He pauses briefly. “Kami, as long as we’re being honest, I really am attracted to you.”
“Oh, I know you are Jordan. I’ve known for months now.” I giggle.
He squirms. “I’m that obvious, huh?”
Very.
“Only a little, but hey, I’m attracted to you too.” I shrug.
He shakes his head. “Wait, seriously? Since when?”
I let out a laugh. “Boys are so oblivious sometimes. I’ll see you in class, Jordan.”
“I’ll see you then, Kamila.” He kisses me on the cheek before leaving.
Well, that just happened.
My feet move on their own accord. Cam is sitting in our usual spot with his backpack on my seat, saving it for me.
“What was that all about?” He eyes me suspiciously. “Are those flowers?”
“Yes, they are, and not just any kind of flowers, my favorite ones.”
“He should’ve gotten you a bouquet of red tulips. Those are your favorite,” he mutters under his breath. I ignore his grumpiness, not wanting this moment to be ruined .
Smiling proudly, I say, “He kind of asked me out, and I kind of said yes.”
Cam pauses, and his attention is now fully on me. “What do you mean kind of ? You said you didn’t want a serious relationship your senior year.”
“I don’t, that’s why I said kind of.” Cam’s forehead crinkles. “We’re going out for a slice of pizza. Although I have a feeling we won’t just be eating pizza.” All of a sudden, I feel butterflies in my stomach and a hint of excitement, along with a whole bucket of nerves.
“Interesting.” His tone sounds suspicious.
Now it’s my turn to look confused. “I guess?”
“You don’t sound very excited about it, is all.”
“I’m kind of nervous.” Very nervous, actually.
“You? You’re never nervous, and if it isn’t serious, what is there to be nervous about?” I frown while he leans forward. “What’s wrong, Kami?”
“I’m still a virgin,” I blurt out. Cam’s eyes look like they’re about to burst out of his head. “I mean, I’ve kissed before and done minor things, but I’m not very experienced.”
Cam shifts in his seat, clearing his throat while his face reddens. It takes all of my strength not to laugh at his reaction. He finally shakes his head and talks. “Okay, why are you telling me this now?”
He’ll figure it out in three, two, one. “Oh, shit. Are you going to do it this week? With Jordan?”
“Please say it a little louder. I don’t think he heard you from down the hall.”
He grimaces. “Sorry, I was caught off guard.” Cam narrows his eyes. “Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t done it.”
“Why?” I tilt my head, genuinely curious.
He scoffs. “‘Because you’re a catch. You’re a cheerleader, you’re smart, funny, and nice as hell. If you decide to do it with this guy, even if it isn’t a serious relationship, he better respect you…or else.”
Oh God, boys. “Always playing the part of a protective brother.”
“Please don’t call me your brother ever again.” He grimaces .
“Why? You might as well be. Hell, you might be my brother-in-law one day.” I laugh.
He flinches. “Just don’t.” It comes out as a command.
I put my hands up. “Okay, chill, dude.” There’s an awkward pause before I raise my voice a little louder. “You know, Ana told me about your guys’s first time. I know more details than I wanted or ever needed to know. She even told me how long you lasted and how ? —”
“Shut up, Kamila,” he whispers and looks around to see if anyone was listening. It finally clicks. “Wait, how long did she say?”
I double over in laughter. “Doesn’t feel good now, does it?”
“You’re the worst best friend a man could ever ask for.”
Liar. “Ha. You know you’d be lost without me, Cameron Kahlo.”
Cam rolls his eyes while a smile creeps up his lips.
The teacher comes in, and I swear I hear Cameron whisper, “I really would be lost without you.”
I can’t help but smile at the memory. A week and a half later, I lost my virginity to Jordan. When Cameron found out, he didn’t really say much, just asked if I was okay. Ana also reacted weirdly, maybe because she used to have a thing for Jordan before she started seeing Cameron. However, I remember asking her if she was okay with him and I hanging out. She said yes, therefore there was no reason to react that way. Then again, Ana’s unpredictable.
I don’t know why my mind fled to that specific moment. Maybe because I’ve always been unsure if Cameron was being protective or a little jealous. Or maybe because I did like Jordan at the time but felt too young for a serious commitment. Hell, I still do.
It was a good experience with Jordan. He respected me and treated me right, but after two months, he ended whatever we were and started dating another girl on the cheerleading team. It was a little weird at first with Maddy, but I was happy for him. They ended up getting married their sophomore year of college and have a baby on the way .
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. A number I don’t recognize flashes on my screen.
“Hello?” I’m met with loud breathing on the other end of the line. “I can hear you breathing.”
More silence. This is like a horror film come to life. I’m not waiting for them to say something like what’s your favorite scary movie?
“This is creepy. I’m going to hang up now.”
“Did you get home okay?” a male voice blurts out.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Cameron.”
What? I look at the screen again. “How did you get my number?”
“I asked Will to find it on Zoey’s phone.”
Not cool, Will. “If she finds out, she’ll kill him.”
“Well, hopefully, nobody will tell her.”
Wanting this odd conversation to end, I answer his first question. “I got back to my dorm fine.”
“Good.” I’m met with more silence.
“Okay, well, thanks for checking up on me. Is that all?”
“No, actually.” Silence.
I roll my eyes. “Cameron, come on, I was trying to sleep.”
He sighs. “I want to do it again.”
He wants to do what?! I choke on my own spit and lean over to grab a bottle of water.
“You okay?” His voice is laced with amusement. I’m glad one of us is finding this funny.
Chugging down my water, I clear my throat. “Um, no, Cameron, it can’t happen again.”
“Why?” he asks tightly.
A sarcastic laugh leaves me. Has he gone crazy? “Come on, Cameron. You know why.”
“Well, just in case I don’t, please enlighten me.”
“The name Ana seems to sum it up.”
“This has nothing to do with her,” he spits out .
“I’m still her sister, and apart from that, we don’t really like or trust each other very much. All it’ll do is more damage.”
“You bring up some valid points, but I have some of my own.” Groaning, I lay my head back on the pillow. If I hang up, he’ll just keep calling, and I don’t feel like blocking his number when we might need it for future class assignments. “We’re attracted to each other. We have good sexual chemistry. We both tried to fight it but failed. Even you can’t deny that you got off just as good as I did. You shook Kamila. Were all those screaming orgasms I gave you just for show?”
None of those things are a lie. However, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to do it again.
“Answer me, Kamila.” He uses the same demanding voice he did in the bathroom.
My body heats, and a small involuntary whimper slips past my lips. I quickly cover my mouth, mortified at my weakness.
“I heard that.”
Of course he did. “Fine, Cameron, it was great. I came the hardest I’ve come in a very long time, is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yes.” His voice isn’t as steady as before.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because it cannot happen again. It was a one time thing that nobody will ever know about, that’s it.”
He laughs darkly. “We’ll see about that.”
“What do you mean we’ll see—” He hangs up.
I let out a string of curses.
He doesn’t seem to comprehend that even with my admission, I’m sticking to what I said. Never again, not in this lifetime and not in the next.
This calls for the max dose of melatonin. An hour later, when it’s kicking in, I hear Emma coming in through the front door and finally fall asleep.