Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
CAMERON
T he last lyrics of “If You Can’t Hang” by Sleeping With Sirens blast through my headphones as I make my way into the gym. It’s late afternoon, and I need a swim to clear my mind. All the distractions back home, along with the ones here, made me forget about an assignment I had, and now, I have to do an extra essay to make up for missing the deadline.
Attempting to focus on getting to the locker room, a voice and name catch my attention as I’m about to round the corner.
“I’m proud of you, Ana.”
I step closer to where Kamila’s voice is coming from. She must’ve just finished teaching her Zumba classes. I checked the schedule for gym classes at the beginning of the semester, saw her name on it, and may or may not have memorized the days she teaches.
“No, I’m not patronizing you, hermana. I mean it.” The phone conversation echoes in the hallway near the door of the women's locker room. I press back against the wall where she won’t see me. The last thing I want is to interrupt a conversation between Kamila and her sister.
“Of course, I don’t think I’m better than you because I go to a four-year college. What kind of question is that?” She sounds hurt and surprised. Meanwhile, I’m barely phased. Some things never change. Ana is still Ana.
“Hermana por favor . ” Kamila goes quiet, but I can hear Ana’s shrieks all the way from where I’m standing. The bitch has only gotten louder with time.
“Are you drunk?” Her sister's voice is edged with disgust. “Jesus, Ana. I’m not fighting with you when you’re like this. I’m hanging up now.” Ana’s shrieks disappear, but Kamila still hasn’t hung up.
“Yeah, I love—” And the shrieks stop.
“Why doesn’t she ever let me say it back?” Kamila whispers to herself.
I attempt to glance in her direction without being seen. She’s alone, her forehead is against the wall, and her eyes are closed as if she’s trying to get herself together.
I remember those times all too well.
If Ana was drunk while arguing about her unjustified insecurities, it had to have been bad. It makes me wonder if she’s gotten worse over the past couple of years. I debate on whether to make my presence known, but Kamila makes that decision for me by disappearing into the locker room, still looking somewhat defeated.
Ten minutes later, I’m jumping into the pool to start my thirty minutes worth of laps. I haven’t seen my former best friend back here since after the first time we kissed. That feels like a lifetime ago. Fuck, I was such a dick. Still am, but I’d like to think I’m somewhat better now that we’ve spoken and set limits.
A couple of laps in, I try to clear my mind, yet it keeps going back to the fight I just overheard, and it reminds me of the arguments I used to have with Ana.
A little under three years ago…
“Admit it. You were flirting with Olive, weren’t you?”
“For fuck’s sake, Ana, I was not flirting with her. We’ve talked about this. Remember the two-hour-long conversation we had about this exact topic a couple of months ago?” I sit on her bed and exhale a long breath. “What changed?” I’m fucking exhausted.
Ana rests next to me and covers her face with both hands. Her shoulders shake, and a soft sob escapes her.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” I try tugging her closer to me, but she doesn’t lean into my touch. “Talk to me, Ana, please.”
She takes her hands off her face and stares at the ground. “Graduation is only a couple of months away. You promised to go to Driscoll with Kamila when you know I don’t have the grades to go. You’re leaving me here, all alone.” Tears stream down her face.
What does this have to do with Olive? “I told you about Driscoll when we first started dating before I knew Kamila wanted to go. I don’t even know if I got in yet. What’s really bothering you?”
She turns to me with a hardened expression. “Are you in love with my sister?”
My hands leave her shoulders, offended by her accusation. “You know the answer to that, Ana. How dare you.”
She sprints up from the bed. “How dare I ?”
Towering over her, I lower my voice. “I have never looked at Kamila that way. I have never touched Kamila that way. I’ve never thought about Kamila that way. So, yes. How dare you question my loyalty to you and my respect towards your sister.”
Her eyes soften and she starts crying again. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m just scared of being alone and of you meeting someone else out there while I’m stuck here in a stupid community college.”
I’ll never get used to her crying. It always causes an ache in my chest.
“Babe.” I lift her chin gently. “I have no idea where I’m going yet. I haven’t gotten any acceptance letters in the mail or online, but no matter what happens, we will make this work. I told you I wouldn’t give up on us as long as you didn’t, okay?”
She turns back to her bed. “But would you still go to Driscoll with Kamila if you got accepted?”
Fuck. She’s not listening .
“Wouldn’t you want me to go to one of the best universities in the country with or without your sister?” I wait for a response, yet I’m met with silence. “It won’t change us. I won’t be far. I’m getting a car soon and the bus is always there. Weekends and holidays are for us,” I say with what I’m hoping is a comforting voice.
She looks up at me with a distant, almost cold look in her eyes. “I’d like to be alone now, please.”
“Unbelievable.” I grab my jacket to leave. “I’ll talk to you later then.”
She’s now staring at her phone screen, no tears in sight. “Yeah, I’ll call you.”
That was dry. I close her bedroom door harshly and head towards the stairs.
“Are you okay?” Kami’s voice causes me to jump.
“Fuck Kamila, you scared the shit out of me.” I look at her concerned eyes and to Ana’s door. “Were you eavesdropping?” I bite out.
She shrinks. “Not on purpose…the house is quiet, and, well, you guys weren’t.”
“Then put some damn headphones on next time.”
She rolls her eyes and goes back into her room. I’ll apologize later. It’s not her fault that I’m in a pissy mood. I never use the tone I just did while talking to her and I know I’ll feel like an ass about it later.
I’m putting my jacket on near the entrance when I hear a door slam upstairs. I start mentally preparing myself for another argument with Ana, but Kamila emerges with her puffy jacket on.
I look at her skeptically. “Where are you going?”
She starts wrapping a red scarf around her neck. “The question is, where are we going? My vote is to the planetarium before it closes and then to the movies. The indoor pool at the gym is being used for water aerobics again and neither one of us can stand the instructor. Let’s go before it gets any colder, I already ordered an Uber.”
“You don’t think Ana needs you more right now?”
She scoffs. “Ha. No, thank you, not after what I heard. I know my sister, and when she wants to be alone, she means it. ”
“How much did you hear?” I’m worried that she heard Ana’s unnecessary and offensive question about her and I.
She glances up, a serious expression coating her face. “Enough.”
So, she did hear it but doesn’t want to talk about it. I can live with that. “You didn’t ask me where I wanted to go.” Even though she was spot on.
She smiles knowingly. “So, you’re telling me you don’t like my plan?” I try to fight my grin. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now get out of my house, asshole.”
We step outside where the Uber is waiting. “Sorry for being a dick. Movie tickets and snacks are on me.”
“I also charged the ride to your card.” She gets into the car, and I let out a laugh, already feeling ten times better.
My timer goes off, and I swim to the edge of the pool, hopping out. Walking to the locker room, still in my own head about the past, I realize I was right about Ana still being Ana. I knew that would never change. But is Kamila still the Kamila I used to know? Have I been too harsh on her? Or is that me remembering all the good times and forgetting those that made my trust in her fade? Hell, maybe it’s the sex and the primal attraction we have towards each other that’s clouding my judgment.
Maybe I should try sleeping with someone else and get my mind off her for a bit. Problem is, is that I’m not tempted to. I haven’t been since the first time I got inside of her.
Not. Good.