Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
KAMILA
Two and a half months before graduation day…and the incident
I ’m lying on the beach waiting for Cameron and Ana while also waiting for a response to the latest text I sent them. I didn’t give them a chance to say no to coming, no questions and no exceptions. Mom finally allowed me to borrow her car, and I drove it all the way to Long Beach. It’s not that long of a drive when there’s no traffic. Ever since the weather started shifting, I’ve been craving the sight of a sunset from the sand. The stars should appear soon as well. It’s two views I love for the price of one.
A week ago, Cam got his first car. An early graduation gift from his parents. He and Ana started driving it everywhere. They’ve been spending a lot of time alone together, but I can tell they need it, especially since their last big fight. Ana doesn’t know I heard everything they said three months ago in our house. Cam does, though, but it was left unspoken. The way she was talking to him that day was meaner than usual.
Is she really willing to hold him back from Driscoll? And what was with her asking Cameron if he was in love with me? We’re best friends, always will be, and that’s that. Of course, I didn’t tell anyone else about this. I'm good at keeping secrets, but I am a terrible liar. It worries me that they might break up before we all go off to college. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing they made the same promise the day I found out they started dating.
“Even if we do break up at any point, I would never intentionally hurt Ana. We both promised to never put you in the middle. She’s your sister, and I plan to be your best friend for a long, long time.”
Cam had said that to me right before cheerleading practice the day my sister confessed her feelings to him.
Leaning on my left side, I get a better view of the sky, which is now colored in pink, purple, and orange hues. It eases some of the tension in my body, yet I can’t help it when my mind wanders to thoughts of the future. Cam still hasn’t heard back from Driscoll, and neither have I. We should’ve by now, but we stupidly forgot one document, and it put us behind. Although we both get accepted into our backups, which is great, but it’s not Driscoll. The letter should be coming within the next week or so. I’m a nervous wreck, and that’s the reason I suggested coming here. I think we could all use the change of scenery, and I also haven’t spent time with them outside of school in a while.
The sun is about to finish setting when I hear voices come from behind me. It’s not necessary for me to sit up to know who's coming. I’ve been hearing those high-pitched shrieks my entire life. They’re fighting again. The voices don’t get any louder, meaning they must’ve stopped walking. I can tell they’re attempting to whisper, but Ana’s voice carries, and today, so does Cameron’s.
“I’m trying to spend as much time with you as I can before graduation, Ana. Your sister asked for one day,” Cam says with a heavy sigh.
“I just want to be alone with you!” Ana whisper yells, making me flinch.
Jeez, hermana. Tell him how you really feel.
“She asked for one fucking night in the past two weeks.”
Exactly. Thank you.
His voice is slightly hoarse, which means they’ve been at this for a while, I’m guessing almost the entire drive over here .
“I’ve just been so horny for you lately, babe. We haven’t done it in your car yet and this is the perfect place.”
Nausea builds, and I swear a little vomit makes its way up to my throat.
“Babe, this is not the time. We’ve been having plenty of sex lately and have already done it every day this week. Kami hasn’t been part of anything we do lately, it’s not fair to her. Can we please try to have a nice time?”
I really don’t need to hear this. I’ve been hanging out with my squad mates and the football team after school all week because I knew they were gonna bone like crazy. Being with the team has been a little awkward. Jordan broke off our ‘arrangement’ about two weeks ago so that he could start dating Maddy, who’s also on the cheerleading squad. It feels odd seeing them together in the halls and after practices, yet I’m happy for them and have no feelings of jealousy or anger towards the situation.
“Hey Kami.” I’m now lying flat on my back, finding Ana and Cameron hovering over me.
“Hey, guys.”
“Are we just going to sit here on the beach in the dark?” Ana says, annoyed. “It’s cold.”
I roll my eyes. “Stop whining. Cam, give her your sweater, and both of you lay down to look at the damn stars.”
While they make themselves comfortable, I turn my attention back to the sky.
“Kamila—”
“Shush.” I hold a hand up towards Ana. “I don’t want to hear either of you for at least ten minutes. Relax, listen to the ocean, and watch the damn stars, okay?”
“Fine,” Ana sighs.
I raise my hand again. “Shush.”
“Hey, you started ? —”
“Shh.” This time, it comes from Cam, and I bite my lip, suppressing my giggle.
After a couple of minutes, I’m somewhat relaxed and recommend getting ice cream. Cameron suggests a place called Mia’s Creamery that’s a town over and my sister and I agree.
Twenty minutes later, we’re all sitting down eating our delicious creamy and cold desserts. Except Ana, who’s eating a small cup of sugar-free lemon sorbet. She’s determined to lose five pounds by prom, which is not for another month and a half. No carbs, no refined sugars, and no lactose. I’ve reassured her that she already looks great — and she does — but in the end, it’s her body and her business.
Cam, on the other hand, is eating three scoops of cookie dough ice cream. I settled for a soft serve chocolate and vanilla swirl in a cup with extra cherries and hot fudge. Crash diets are something I stopped doing before I joined the cheerleading team. Self help books about eating disorders and body dysmorphia saved me, as well as my mom, who held my hand through it all when we couldn’t afford therapy.
I’m not as thin as Ana or other girls in our class, but with time and help, I learned to love the only vessel we’re given in life. My thighs are thick as hell but toned and strong, my lower belly never goes away no matter how much I work out, and my boobs are a lot bigger than I’d like them to be, but I’ve accepted it…for the most part. I’m a lot more confident than I used to be, and I’m proud of that.
“So, are you taking Jordan to prom, Kami?” Ana hikes her legs up on the table.
Cam rubs his hands down his face.
I’m suddenly very interested in the dents on the wooden table.
“You already know that he broke things off with me, Ana. So no, he’s not going to be my date.”
“Oh, right, sorry. It must’ve slipped my mind,” she says, sounding insincere.
Cameron drops his hands down on the table aggressively, making Ana and I yelp.
“You know what we should do?” he asks loudly.
My sister and I look at each other with confused expressions. She’s the first to speak.
“What?”
“Let’s get a tattoo. ”
My mouth falls open. Is he insane? “ What? ”
His eyes meet mine. There’s something different behind them. Determination but also exhaustion. From what? I’m not sure. Ana? Driscoll? Prom? Graduation? I’m having trouble reading him, still I can tell that he needs something like this. Something new, exciting, and spontaneous.
My mom’s going to kill me.
I drop my spoon into my half-empty cup. “Fuck it. Why not.”
“Since when are you such a daredevil?” Ana says with an evil grin. “You’re the well-behaved twin, remember?”
Ignoring her comment, I return my attention to Cam. “How and where?”
He smiles at me in appreciation before looking at us with determination. “Ethan’s apartment is five blocks away from here. I’ll text him now.”
Less than ten minutes later, we’re knocking on Cameron’s cousin's door. It opens, and there he is, shirtless, sweaty, and sexy. Maybe he can take me to prom. I let out a small smile at the delusional thought and Ana shoots me a death glare.
Jeez, what’s her problem?
“You owe me for this, asshole. Big time,” Ethan grits.
“You got it.” Cam pushes his way through, and we enter a small living area where Ethan’s roommate is smoking from a bong.
“I need the living room.” Ethan points to his roommate and then to the hall.
“No probs, dude. See ya.” The guy disappears down the hall, but not before smiling and winking at Ana. She rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the slight upward tug of her lips, no doubt reveling in the attention.
Ethan puts a shirt on and ties his black hair into a ponytail. “Kami, my girl. Come here.” He picks me up and spins me around, causing me to grin. “I haven’t seen you in months. Look how much older you already look. Whoever you end up with is one lucky person.”
I blush. “Thanks, Ethan. And yes, they will be very lucky.”
He laughs. “Atta girl. Love the confidence. ”
“Hi, Ethan,” Ana says dryly.
Ethan wiggles his brows at me before turning around. “Oh hey Ana, didn’t see you there.”
Ana’s eyes are practically shooting daggers at the guy, yet somehow, his smile stays in place.
“Can we please get this over with?” Ana sneers.
Testy.
“Okay, everybody needs to tell me what they want. Make it meaningful. Oh, and for the girls, none on your lower back, come back to me in your twenties for that.” He pauses and points his index finger to the left. “Although, brother, I would love to see you with a butterfly right at the end of your spine, I think it’d look beautiful on you.”
Next thing I see is a pillow hitting Ethan’s face from across the living room. His cousin and I laugh while Ana remains silent, looking bored.
“I already know what I want, dickhead.” Cam then whispers something in Ethan’s ear, provoking a soft grin on his cousin's lips. He nods his agreement.
“Do you know what you want?” Ana whispers and leans next to me.
Her dark eyes study me with curiosity. “I do.”
She raises both her eyebrows, looking impressed. “Wow, someone’s being bold today. What’s your idea?”
Reluctantly, I tell her the only kind of tattoo I’d ever want.
Ana nods once. “I like it.”
Giving her a smile, I walk towards Cam to see what Ethan is drawing up for him until he puts his arm out before I can reach the iPad.
“Ah, ah, ah. No peeking till we all finish.”
A smirk tugs at Cam’s lips.
“Fine with me,” I reply.
“Me too,” Ana agrees from behind.
About four hours later, we all have our tattoos done, and they’re covered with clear bandages and a small dark one right on top to hide the tattoo itself. Cameron’s is slightly bigger than mine and Ana’s. All of our placements are different, too. Cam’s is on his forearm, close to his wrist, Ana’s is on her ribcage and mine is around my ankle.
“Two final requests. First, if anyone asks, I didn’t do these, and second, don’t be stupid and go showing it off till you turn eighteen.” He sighs. “Ready for the big reveal?” Ethan waves his hands at us.
“On three,” Cam says.
“One.” I grab the black piece above the wrapping. “Two.” I start lifting the tape. “Three.” All the black squares come off, and I almost choke on the gasp that escapes me.
“What the fuck?!” Cam yells.
“How? Who? What?” I turn and narrow my eyes. “Ethan?”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Don’t blame me. You all asked for a unique star tattoo, so I gave you all a similar design. Thought it’d be more special that way.” His tone is one of boredom.
With wide eyes and a rolling stomach, I look at Cam for any type of response while Ana smiles up at him.
“I can’t believe we chose the same one, baby.” Ana kisses his arm, but Cameron doesn’t move. His face is one of horror.
Oh God, he better change that expression before she notices.
Still not believing what’s happened, I look at all three matching tattoos. Yeah, it’s definitely happening.
All three of them have four medium black stars, except for Cameron’s which are slightly larger. They’re surrounded by minuscule stars and tiny dots that make it look like a night sky. I’m surprised Cam approved Ethan’s design, although his piece has sharper angles that make it look less delicate than mine. All in all it’s an extremely similar design.
Finding Ana’s, I frown. I’m assuming she either couldn’t come up with a better idea than the one I had told her about or she wanted a matching one with me, but it does feel weird that she’s taking credit for it. Squinting my eyes, I notice that her stars are the smallest out of all three of us, and they’re differently placed too. That’s when I realize that Ethan still took the time to make all of them different, especially Ana’s. Swiveling my head in my best friend’s direction, his dark brown eyes clash with mine. They look almost vacant. The complete opposite of how they were before and during the tattoo. He was having fun with Ethan, even while in pain. Meanwhile, Ana is admiring her tattoo by the mirror, not realizing how badly this is affecting her boyfriend.
“Guess we can’t ever stop being friends now, can we?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
He shakes his head as if coming back to reality. “Guess not.” He smiles weakly. “Great minds think alike, I guess.”
As soon as the words leave him, Ana jumps to his side and pulls his mouth to hers.
And that’s my cue to go.
I join Ethan on the other side of the living room, where he’s fixing all his materials.
“Need any help?”
“No, thanks. I have a very specific system going on here.” He doesn’t look away from his small drawers.
“I know what you did,” I whisper.
He raises a brow. “What’s that?”
Scoffing, I take a seat. “Each tattoo is practically the same. All of the stars are in the exact same positions, except for Ana’s, but each tattoo is a different size. Cam’s are sharper at the edges which makes sense for his personality and taste. Ana’s are dainty like mine, but hers look a little asymmetrical and frankly a little sloppy.” He shoots me a sharp look that I ignore. “But Cam’s and mine are perfectly symmetrical. Not that Ana really noticed any of this, then again, she was looking more at hers than anyone else’s. So, tell me, Ethan, why did you make mine and your cousin’s so similar?”
He smiles. “Because I knew you were going to be the first one to notice.” Ethan sets his materials down. “And because you and Cam are best friends. There’s a special connection between the two of you, one I don’t see often. You make each other better. You were meant to meet.” I shake my head at his bluntness.
“He might not have noticed the differences between the tattoos yet, but eventually he will. He might not be as brave as you to ask me why. He probably won’t even tell you when the time comes, but you know better than anyone that, that’s just the way he is.” He pauses and looks over at the couple standing across the room. “Ana and him…” Ethan gives me a knowing look that I return. He doesn’t even bother to finish the thought. We both know that their relationship has an expiration date. Neither of us will say it aloud, still it’s obvious.
Once Ethan turns his attention back to his station, I reflect on Cam and I’s friendship. How we weren’t the only two who realized we were meant to be in each other’s lives. These tattoos are a symbol of our friendship and our special place. I doubt he told Ethan about our private conversations. It leaves me wondering how our dynamic and love towards each other looks from an outsider's point of view.
Ethan hands me a tissue, and I take it mindlessly. “What’s this for?”
“A couple of tears fell on your cheeks. Don’t worry, your mascara isn’t running.” He gives me a sympathetic smile and passes me a hand mirror.
When did I start crying? Why am I crying? This is not a good time to cry. Cam will think I hate the idea of sharing something so permanent with him, and I don’t at all. I’ll never ever regret this.
After composing myself, I give Ethan a stern look. “This conversation stays between us.”
He takes my hand in his. “Of course, Kami.”
“Thank you.”
He nods and tucks a loose strand of his hair back. “Come to the studio after you turn eighteen.”
“Promise.”
“Feel free to leave your sister behind.”
At that, I suppress my smile and walk away.
Little did I know, it would be the last tattoo I’d get and the last time I’d see Ethan.