Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
CAMERON
M y hands turn the wheels, closing the remaining distance to my parking spot behind Dirk Hall. Driving back during rush hour the Sunday after Thanksgiving weekend was the stupidest thing I’ve done in a while. It’s nine-thirty p.m. and I’m fucking exhausted.
I grab my duffle bag from the back seat and walk to my room. Thanksgiving was uneventful, fortunately. Ethan’s father and mine didn’t argue for the first time in years. That alone was enough to make everyone happy.
The peace the holiday brought allowed me time to process everything from the past couple of months. I refused to speak to Ethan about Kamila anymore and told him I needed to figure things out on my own, which I accomplished.
She’s made her bed, and I’m not going to wait for her. Why should I? She’s obviously moved on, and I have as well. C’est la vie.
Deciding I’ll take care of it tomorrow, I dump my bag on the floor and change into a pair of sweatpants. Most of my old friends were back home, and I decided to hang out with Smith and his group last night. Smith and I hadn’t spoken in a while. We spent the night drinking, getting me drunk enough to almost hook up with an ex-fling, except all I kept thinking about was Kamila and the promise we made, even if we are on a break. Whatever that means.
This morning, after waking up hungover and very horny, is when I decided to let her go. She’s gotten under my skin, and I was the one who let it happen. I was willing to allow it while we were sleeping together, but things have obviously changed.
My phone chimes as soon as my back hits the soft mattress. I decide to ignore it for now until it buzzes a third time. You’ve got to be fucking joking.
Kamila: We need to talk.
Kamila: Come to Astor Hall room 110. Emma isn’t here.
Kamila: It’s important.
She lives in Astor Hall, where I get my coffee multiple times a week, and yet I had no idea. This is how little we know about our current lives, for fuck’s sake. Of course, she decides to stop giving me the silent treatment right when I figured out what I’m going to do about our situation. What if she wants to tell me that this is all over face-to-face? That would be a fucking relief. Then I wouldn’t have to do it myself. My stomach does this odd flip when the thought settles. I physically shake it off, hating how it feels.
Me: I’ll be there soon.
A while later, I’m in front of her room, rubbing a hand over my face and tapping my foot on edge.
Get it together, this is just another fling that’s finished running its course, and she’s being polite enough to end it in person.
My knuckles haven’t yet connected to the door when I hear footsteps, and a pair of amber eyes collide with mine. Kamila is wearing a fluffy robe, her hair still wet from the shower I’m assuming she just took. Her face is completely bare, allowing me to see her naturally tanned skin. A familiar floral scent surrounds me, and I find myself inhaling it deeply. We stand there, silently staring at each other for a long time until she moves aside, inviting me in. Her suite is fucking huge, much bigger than most, yet somehow cozy and spotless. A couch and flat-screen TV sit in the small living space. There are two bedroom doors, one open and one closed. At first glance, I can see that the room with the open door is Kamila’s. The red pillows and posters are a dead giveaway. Her taste hasn’t changed much since high school, except for the expensive flat-screen and wireless sound bar that has to cost much more than two college students can afford.
“I have to ask, what’s with the sound system? Seems fancy for a dorm room.” I walk around to take a closer look, knowing the answer will have something to do with her roommate, whose family does extremely well for themselves.
“That was Emma’s dad’s doing. He insisted we have the best speakers for a better movie watching experience.”
Kamila’s voice is quieter than usual, and she’s picking at her nails.
Yeah, she’s nervous.
I move toward the couch and motion to it. She nods and sits next to me, leaving enough space between us so we’re not touching.
“You said you had something important to tell me.”
“Um, yeah.” She looks down and doesn’t say anything for an awkward amount of time.
Something compels me to put my hand under her chin and lift her face. Our eyes meet again, and I feel a small, unfamiliar tug in my chest.
“I need to know what you’re thinking, Kamila.”
She audibly swallows. “I’m thinking the same thing I thought the first night we kissed.”
That catches me off guard. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
Her eyes drop to my lips, then slowly glide back up and my heart thuds faster at what I think she’s about to do, but it wouldn’t make any sense as to why.
Barely above a whisper, I hear her say, “Fuck it,” before her lips are on mine. My eyes remain open for a moment, not sure how to react since this still doesn’t make any sense.
But as soon as she knocks me onto my back, I wrap my hand in her hair and pull her face closer to mine, squeezing my eyes shut. We let out a collective sigh of relief once our tongues meet. She begins to unzip my jacket, and I shrug it off easily. With all of my willpower, I manage to form a coherent thought and push her shoulders back gently to look at her.
“You said you needed space, and I came here to tell you I was done waiting.” I pay close attention to her eyes. Those golden orbs that always show a hint of doubt or anger, yet all I find is lust, need, and something new I can’t decipher.
She lays her finger on my lips, shushing me. “I need this, Cameron.”
Why the sudden change? I try to get a read on her again but come up empty. Something serious has happened since I last saw her yet I can’t pinpoint what exactly. Still, I can tell that even if I asked, she wouldn’t talk to me about it right now. The sudden urge to give her whatever she needs grows, and I know she needs this.
“Okay.”
Kamila gives me a relieved smile, and instead of attacking my lips again like I suspected she would, she straddles me while my hands move to her thighs. Her fingers graze the knot keeping her robe together before slowly untying it, letting the material fall to the ground. Her amazing body is now fully exposed. Her plump tits, soft stomach, sexy thighs, and that piercing that drives me insane are on full display. My dick twitches beneath her.
Her mouth pulls into a sexy grin at the move.
My voice is gruff. “The open door, that’s your room?”
In an instant, the smile is wiped off her face. “It is. Let me get off you so we can walk?—”
She lets out a small gasp mid-sentence when I cup her ass and pick her up. Her thighs instinctively wrap around my waist .
“Cam, I’m too heavy to carry like this.”
I’m thrown by her sudden and rare vulnerable comment. It hurts something inside me. This isn’t like her.
Looking directly into her eyes, I ask, “Do you see my arms shaking?”
She looks down for a moment. “No.”
“Every time I’ve taken you over my shoulder, have I run out of breath or complained about being tired?”
She shakes her head.
“That’s because whoever said that to you is a weak, pathetic asshole.” I take her jaw aggressively, forcing her to look at me. “Listen very carefully, Kamila.” Her eyes are hooded with lust, but there’s shock in them as well. I’m glad I was able to bring life back into them. “You’re beautiful, and whoever says otherwise is fucking blind.” With that, I crash my lips to hers. My words seem to hit the right spot because there’s no hesitation in her movements now. She moans while trying to grind against my sweatpants. I laugh at her eagerness and at my past self, who thought only a couple of minutes ago that either she or I were going to end this.
My mouth traces her jaw, moving to her neck. “What do you need, Kamila?”
She fists my hair. “Your mouth.”
Chuckling, I nip her chin. “You need to be more specific again.”
“Want to come all over your mouth,” she mumbles.
And with that, I move to the bed, sit her down facing me, and stand between her legs. In a moment, I get on my knees, grab her thighs, bring her to the edge of the mattress, and spread them. She sits up on her forearms, looking down at me.
The second my hand touches her, I mutter a curse at the evidence of the effect I have on her body. Using her own arousal as a lubricant, I tease her clit and opening. She lets out a small gasp.
“Is this what you want? ”
“Yes, please,” she whimpers.
I smile against her thigh. “I love it when you beg for me.”
Kami narrows her gaze, looking like she’s about to scold me. That is until I stick three fingers inside of her, making her back arch into an unnatural angle.
“Too much?” I raise a brow.
She inhales deeply, once, twice, before I’m met with a cocky smirk. “More like not enough,” she challenges.
There’s the confident and stubborn girl I know.
“You really shouldn’t say those kinds of things, Kamila.” I grin and bring my tongue to her clit, licking it just the way she likes it. I stick another finger in her, and she releases a scream. Moving the four fingers in and out of her slowly, the screams slowly turn into moans once she’s adjusted.
Fuck I missed this.
Once she’s gotten a little too comfortable with my four fingers, I ever so gently push the fifth one in. Kamila barely has time to make a sound before her body and pussy clench around me and she’s coming all over my mouth.
“That's right, give it to me.” She squirts more than usual, and I groan at the taste. I lick her clit through her entire orgasm until she’s pushing my head away. This time, I don’t make her come again. I want the next one to be around my cock.
When I stand, I’m met with unnervingly wide eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Kamila sprints up from the bed. “Because that was better than I remembered. Every time it just gets better.”
I lift both brows. “I’m surprised you would admit that to me. Although the evidence of it is all over my face and your sheets.”
She blushes, ignoring my comment, and kisses me, tasting her own release on my tongue, which seems to get her going again. Kamila isn’t satisfied with just one orgasm since I started giving her at least two each session, which is part of why I hated the quickies we were having.
“I need you to fuck me. ”
No objections here. In a matter of seconds, all my clothes are on the floor.
“How hard do you want it?” I take one of her nipples into my mouth as she writhes against me.
“As hard as you can,” she breathes.
There are no hesitations when I drive myself inside of her in one aggressive thrust. We both grunt.
“Fuck, I forgot how good that feels.” How did I think I was capable of ending this?
She pulls at my hair. “Don’t stop.”
“Give me a minute or this will end much faster than either of us wants it to.”
Kami lets out a small laugh and kisses me while we wait. The kiss isn’t aggressive like it usually is. It’s softer and sensual, different, and I have no idea why.
Eventually, I start moving inside of her again. Then, as our tongues meet, my thrusts become harder, deeper, and faster. Lifting myself up in order to get a better look at her, she meets my gaze, and the rest of the world disappears. All I can see is her, and all I can feel are my thrusts slowing down. The feeling of it just as intense, but in a new way, similar to the kiss. Something in my chest seems to shift, and suddenly, Kamila closes her eyes, breaking the connection.
“Faster,” she screams.
Not overthinking what just happened, I grab a fistful of her hair and pull it harshly while she lets out a hiss that makes my dick twitch again. My hips feel like they’re on fire, but I keep moving until she’s the loudest she’s ever been, and so am I. I’m groaning, moaning, and grunting, feeling my stomach muscles tightening. My finger moves to her clit.
“Look at me,” I demand. Her eyes open instantly.
“Come inside of me,” she requests.
My body turns rigid at her words before I spill myself inside of her. Our moans are bouncing off the walls as her eyes glaze over .
“Fuck,” I hiss while I finish emptying myself. Her pussy keeps clenching around me while she finishes coming.
A couple of seconds later, I’m still inside of Kami, eyes closed, trying to slow my breathing, when all of a sudden, her body is shaking below me. Opening my eyes, I see small hands covering her face to muffle the soft sobs pouring from her puffy mouth. I immediately start to panic. What did I do?
“Did I hurt you?” When she doesn’t answer, I raise my voice. “Kamila, why are you crying? I need to know if you’re okay.” When she continues to cry, I try a different approach. “Is it okay for me to get out of you?”
Her voice comes out muffled and shaky below her hands. “You didn’t hurt me. You can pull out.”
My body relaxes instantly now that I know she’s physically okay. Even so, she’s still hurting. Slowly, I pull out and prop my head on one of the pillows next to her.
“Kami, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She allows me to pull her hands away from her face. I’m met with red-rimmed eyes and a devastated look that makes my chest ache in a way it hasn’t in a long time. “What happened this weekend?”
“It’s about Ana,” she says.
I don’t tense up like usual at the mere mention of her sister. Right now, I care more about why she’s crying and how I can help make it stop.
“Keep going.”
She looks at the ceiling and takes a deep breath before answering me. “This weekend,” she pauses, closing her eyes, “it was just terrible.”
I wait patiently for her to continue. I’m not going to push her to talk about it if she doesn’t want to. I know firsthand how debilitating problems with Ana can be. Instead of saying something useless, I rub my thumb back and forth on her palm, trying to make her more at ease.
“We fought. It was bad. Old topics were brought up, and some new ones, too. She’s never spoken to me like that. Sure, we’ve had our fair share of ugly arguments in the past, and she has spoken down to me before, but—” She turns to look me in the eyes, her tears are dry now and the sadness has been replaced with fury. “She said I was wasting my time and money here if I wasn’t going to look for someone to marry. She told me I should start working out harder to look more appealing and speed up the process. What kind of backwards, misogynistic thinking is that?” Kamila scoffs. “She even said I was jealous of her in high school. And it doesn’t stop there. I tried talking to her the next day and nothing. Again, Saturday morning, and nothing. Eventually, she disappeared Saturday afternoon, which isn’t unusual, but she didn’t even come to say bye.” Kami looks back up at the ceiling. “I guess I got overwhelmed and cried about everything that’s happened this semester. You, the guilt I’ve felt with what we've been doing, my sister’s words, classes, jobs, you.”
“You said that last one already.” I let out a small laugh trying to lighten the mood and be the friend she needs right now instead of putting a fist through the wall because of her bitch of a sister.
Tears form in her eyes, making them look almost yellow. “I don’t know what to do, Cam.” Her voice is a small whisper.
The crack in the middle of the sentence hits me straight in the chest. The amount of anger I feel towards Ana right now, towards the things she said are bubbling in my stomach. I push it all down. That girl doesn’t and never deserved Kamila as her sister.
“You know how I feel about Ana, so I might sound biased. But even if you guys share DNA, it doesn’t make what she said any less fucked up. It was wrong on so many levels. My advice? Let her come to you. You don’t have to take care of Ana anymore, Kami.”
She smiles tightly. “That’s not bad advice, Kahlo.”
I shrug. “I can be useful when I want to be. Although I do have a question. ”
“Shoot.”
“Is this what you needed to talk to me about tonight, or was there another reason you texted me?”
Kamila’s face reddens, but not from anger, she’s blushing. This is so out of character for her.
“Are you blushing ?”
She shoves my shoulder playfully. “Shut up, or I won’t tell you why I sent the text.”
“Fine, fine. Go ahead.”
Her mouth opens in an exhale. “Honestly, I needed to see what I felt when I saw you. Based on that, I was going to make the decision on whether I needed to end the break along with everything else between us or continue whatever this is.”
Hope rises within me, a rarity. “And?”
She sighs. “I really didn’t think we were going to have sex, but I guess my body gave me the answer I didn’t know I already had.” Her features soften. “Somehow, in this very moment, it feels like the old us…minus the sex.”
The optimism inside of me grows. “I thought you were going to break things off, and like I said earlier, I came with the intention of ending this, but whenever I think I’m done, you somehow reel me back in.” I play with a strand of her hair that’s mostly dry now. “And I agree. It does feel like the old us.”
When a genuine smile flashes my way, my mind goes into overdrive. I don’t want this feeling of comfortability to end, but I can tell she still isn’t fully convinced. She had a fight with Ana, and maybe that’s why she doesn’t feel guilty about the sex tonight. Kamila will forgive her sister soon and what happens then? I don’t need to wait for the answer because it hits me. The simplest solution, the only one we haven’t tried because we’ve been too stubborn to. My dick silently weeps and the little devil is nowhere in sight, knowing it has no place here. It’s going to be much easier said than done, but I have to try.