Chapter 51
Chapter Fifty-One
KAMILA
Friday
E m is sitting on our couch when I come into our room after my last final. The star string lights are still hung on our walls, and every time I walk in, I’m instantly reminded of Cameron. That day was emotional, to say the least. What he did was extremely touching, although I still have no idea how he was able to put them up in only two hours…or how he got in.
Cam’s kept his word on sending me something every day, whether big or small, a card always accompanies them. It would feel as though he were trying to buy my forgiveness if it weren’t for the fact that all of the things he has bought have been personal.
He remembered the snacks I loved back in high school and the ones I had eaten around him this semester. The candle I was given is found only in a tiny store near my house in Queens, and the necklace he sent had my favorite gemstone, along with the date we met, engraved on it. They’re not flashy gifts like diamonds and chocolate truffles, these are gifts that show me that he’s always been paying attention. And hell, if it doesn’t make me feel like a giddy middle schooler with her first crush.
I thought nothing would top the shock of the barbershop quartet or lights, but managing to convince Professor Mills to sit him all the way across the classroom when we took our final on Tuesday was the most impressive thing he’s been able to pull off thus far. I guess the professor’s heart isn’t made of stone after all.
The line I drew between Cameron and I when Ana and David came is growing blurrier by the day. The cold front I put up is slowly melting, and I know it won’t take long before I’ll be able to forgive him. Questions and conflicting notions flee through my head at least twenty times a day.
Is it too soon?
Can I trust that he won’t lie to me that way again?
Am I ready to accept and admit my feelings for him?
Am I ready to be in a relationship?
When I put on the pendant he gave me and go to him, it’s all or nothing.
The truth is, I’m still terrified. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never been in love with anyone. Flings are the only thing I’m familiar with; they are short, fun, and sexy. I’m not ashamed of how many people I’ve slept with or the way I’ve decided to live romantically. And I’m happy to say that Cameron is one of the few guys I’ve slept with who doesn’t give a shit about my past, either. He’s never shamed me for it. But this situation and feelings thing is new territory for me, not him. I can’t compare myself to my sister or insert her into our relationship…if we do ever end up having one.
When did I become this girl ?
Thinking about a boy all the time and questioning so many of my choices, I hate it. Maybe a push or a sign is all I need? I shake my head, annoying even myself.
“Hey Kami, Luna invited us to eat dinner with her in town at that new pizza place in like an hour,” Emma says as I enter my room .
“Shit, she texted me about that, but I was in between finals. Did you say yes?”
Em nods. “Yep. She’s meeting us here, and we’ll walk there together.”
I tilt my head. “Doesn’t she live closer to town? Why is she picking us up?”
Emma shrugs, not taking her eyes off the TV screen. “Half the campus is going home today for break, so maybe she just wanted some company.”
“Maybe,” I say thoughtfully. Luna and I haven’t seen each other for a while. We occasionally run into one another at the gym when she’s in the studio with her dance team. I miss her. I make a promise to myself here and now that I’ll start hanging out with her a lot more after winter break.
An hour later, Luna is waiting outside for us in a light winter jacket with her team’s logo on it, along with a pair of leggings. How she can do that in forty-degree weather is beyond me. She greets and hugs us before we start walking toward town. Luna talks about her semester, finals, and extracurriculars before we turn to the direction of the two large soccer fields on campus. It’s a much longer route than the one we were originally on.
“Why are we going this way?” Em voices my question.
“Just thought since no one is here this time of the semester, it would be peaceful. The sun is setting, it’s breezy outside?—”
“Luna, it’s fucking freezing, and this adds ten minutes to our walk,” Em whines.
Luna and I both roll our eyes. “Don’t be such a baby. At least the sun is still out. Suck it up.” I lightly smack Em’s butt, and she lets out a small yelp.
“What’s that over there?” My roommate points to the middle of the second soccer field where a group of people are gathered around. I squint my eyes but can’t see much from this far away.
“Didn’t all extracurricular activities end at the beginning of the month?” I ask both girls.
“I’m pretty sure they did. Let’s check it out, anyways.” Luna takes both of our hands and drags us to the group without waiting for our response.
Okay then.
Once we’re a couple of yards away from the group, I start recognizing some of their faces.
“Luna, aren't those people part of your dance group?” My eyes shift towards her, but she doesn’t respond. Instead, she continues pulling us in that direction.
“Luna, what’s going on?” Em’s voice is full of confusion.
We attempt to pull out of her grasp and fail. This girl is surprisingly strong.
She finally stops walking and touches our shoulders. “Do not move, okay?”
Before we can answer, Luna saunters toward the group, and everybody turns to us. Music blasts from the speakers overhead in the field, causing Em and I to jump.
“Sex” by Eden plays, and Luna begins to dance alongside the girls on her team while the guys remain on the sidelines.
Oh God.
“He didn’t.” Em’s mouth is hanging wide open.
Oh, but I think he did .
My mouth remains closed as I try to calm my racing heart. I have yet to see Cameron to confirm that this is his doing. My attention goes back to the group, who has clearly put a lot of effort and practice into the performance. They’re just as good as I remember, but it’s hard to focus when I’m still waiting to see if what we suspect is true. When the chorus hits, the boys join in, and the group’s energy triples.
There’s still no sign of him.
The song smoothly transitions to “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5.
“I’m sensing a theme here!” Em yells over the cheesy song while singing beautifully to the lyrics without a care in the world. She’s enjoying herself. I would be, too, if I weren’t so focused on waiting for him to pop out. I’m surprised he still hasn’t. Unless somebody’s doing this for Emma and I’m being extremely self-centered.
But if it is him, why Luna? And how did he get to Luna?
“Zoey,” I say to myself.
“What?” Em shouts.
“Zoey helped arrange this,” I repeat loudly. “Did you know about it?”
“Does it look like I knew about it?” She smiles and shakes her head. “He even made it private for you. He could’ve easily done a flash mob in the middle of the quad. Instead, you got your own personal performance.”
The thought of a flash mob makes me cringe. She’s right; he thought it through. No crowds, only me and my closest friend watching. Nobody in the group is looking directly at us either, they’re dancing like it’s any other performance they’ve done in the past. Meaning he must’ve told them my secret fear of huge public displays of affection.
“Finally, you’re enjoying yourself.”
I look at my best friend, confused, and then realize that my body has started to slightly sway to the music. While I try to stop myself from moving, the song transitions again to “You’ve Got the Love” by Florence + The Machine.
My body stiffens. This is the song I helped Luna choreograph last year for a couples dance she needed for a competition. It’s one of the most complicated dances I’ve ever done, with slow-and-fast-paced moves, contemporary and pop steps, and it has to be done between two people.
That’s when I see him moving in my direction. For a couple of seconds, it feels like it’s just the two of us, and the outer world ceases to exist. I know by the look in his eyes that he feels it, too. He gives me a slow, sexy smile and sticks his right hand out, clearly asking me to join him.
This feels like a scene out of an eighty’s movie, cheesy yet unforgettable.
I stare at his large hand, knowing I have to make the decision soon; the first verse is already halfway done. Suddenly, I’m pushed into his chest.
“Go!” Em yells.
That’s the only sign I need to finally wrap his fingers in mine, and when I do, my heart rate spikes so quickly, I lose my balance. He holds onto me and I don’t falter. We run to the front of the group, and he looks down at me with a confident smile.
Ready? He mouths.
I hesitate, nervous that I won’t remember the whole routine, but nod anyway. We start to move. Even though I miss a couple of steps once a few seconds pass, my body begins to remember everything. The choreography starts off as a solo for everyone then we join when the chorus hits. When it does, Cameron and I look into each other’s eyes. His facial expression has changed from one of boldness to one of nerves. He’s doing everything almost perfectly, he just needs a confidence boost. Dancing is what I love to do, so I do what I would with any other dance partner who’s unsure of themselves; give him a reassuring smile and put double the amount of energy into the dance. Cam’s eyes light up before we touch, entwined in each other until we have to let go again for our separate steps. I get lost to the music, paying close attention to the lyrics and the message that Cam is trying to express while pushing away the thoughts of doubt I had earlier. The song ends, and the final move leaves us with our faces only inches apart.
We’re both smiling and panting while everyone and everything around us goes silent. His smile falls while he looks down at my lips, then up at my eyes, and back down again. Before my doubts are able to stop me, I grab his face with both hands and crash our lips together. His arms wrap around my body and just as his tongue touches mine, the sound of applause surrounds us. That’s when I remember that we’re around fifteen other people, including my best friend.
I’m the one to break the kiss first, feeling the heat rise up to my cheeks .
“Kamila, baby.” Cam leans his forehead against mine.
Baby. It’s the first time he’s ever said it outside of the bedroom. I didn’t realize how much I missed the sound of his voice until he uttered those two words.
“Thank you, Cameron,” I whisper and look him in the eye. “I’ll see you after winter break.”
His face is one of complete and utter confusion. I decide to leave him that way. I run towards Emma, who’s jumping on her heels. I don’t need a card tonight, the songs spoke for themselves.
“We’re leaving now ?” She catches up to me while I jog away.
“He can wait three more weeks. Besides, I still have unfinished business waiting for me at home.”