31. Tom
Chapter thirty-one
Tom
I grasp Cassidy firmly. She’s breaking my heart. Her chest heaving with sobs. She’s so worked up. I’ve never seen her like this. Not even when he left.
I can’t see Jack now as my back is to him, but I’m starting to feel just as furious as Cassidy with this situation. How dare he sit there with his mouth open like a gasping fish when she needs comfort? I can see how she’s got herself worked up about this.
When I woke up and realised that Jack was real… I wasn’t dreaming, and he was crouched beside me. I was in complete shock. Then came the joy that he was here, after it felt like such a long time with us missing him dearly. Followed by the disappointment that he wasn’t staying. It’s been a whirlwind, and he’s only been here half an hour.
Cassidy hiccups as she tries to slow down her sobs and even out her breathing. I don’t cease my soothing moments. I want her to feel supported and loved. She deserves the best and I resolve to give her that.
Something moves behind me. When I glance sideways, Jack is there, watching us. It seems petty, but I take some comfort in the fact he looks broken. Pain clouds his eyes. He rubs his jaw with his palm, his breathing uneven. Cassidy must notice the movement because she moves her head to the side, facing away from him. Her arms come around my waist as she grips me hard.
“I didn’t know,” Jack rasps. “I didn’t realise…” He raises a trembling hand as if to touch her but lowers it uncertainly. “Cass, I am so sorry.”
Cass turns her head to face him. Her eyes are red and blotchy. She should look like a fright, but all I can see is the beautiful woman I’m in love with.
“What didn’t you realise, Jack?” she whispers. She sucks in a breath as I do the same and we wait for him to respond.
“I didn’t realise that my dramatics would have such a devastating effect on you both,” he says with a sad smile. “I should have waited it out to hear from one of you. I’m so sorry to drag you through the wringer like this. I just panicked.”
“Why did you panic, Jack?” Cassidy asks. She may be hungover, but she’s not giving an inch—keen to drag answers from him if need be. Man, I love her determination.
“I didn’t know what was going on. I thought something was wrong.” He closes his eyes and the tired lines are evident in every part of his face. “I couldn’t lose you. Either of you.”
“But you left us,” Cassidy prods him.
“I was coming back. The whole time I’ve been away, I’ve missed you both so much. I realised a week in, probably even before that, when I stepped out of the airport at JFK, that it wasn’t where I wanted to be. And then when we didn’t properly talk for weeks, it was so hard. But I had a contract. My plan was to get to the end of the three months and then come back and grovel.” He gives me a smile and then moves his hand to stroke a strand of her hair behind her ears.
“Then on Friday, Brad, my boss, offered to extend my contract for a year. I was just trying to work out what the hell I was supposed to do when your call came in.”
“You might stay in New York even longer?” Cassidy looks aghast.
“I don’t think so. I was trying to work out if I could split my time so I could still see you guys every month or so. But then the dramatic panic and I didn’t get very far with that idea.” He pauses. “In fact, on the plane on the way here, I thought about packing it all in early and not going back. But they don’t know I’ve flown home. And I’ve left everything behind. I need to go back at some point.”
“You should at least see the three-month contract out, Jack. It wouldn’t be great for your career if you cut it short.” Her breathing is much calmer now. But she’s still gripping me tightly around the waist with her head resting on my chest.
“I guess.” He bites his lip. “If I went back for this final month and then came home, what would you guys think of that?”
I look down at Cassidy, but she shows no signs of replying straight away.
“How would you want things to look when you come back?” I ask.
“I’m not sure I have any right to determine that when I was the one who left.” He pauses for a moment. “But if it was up to me, I’d want to have a proper go at this relationship, with both of you.”
“Back to how it was before you left?” I ask, pushing down the hopefulness eager to rise within me.
He shakes his head, frowning. “No. I mean, a serious go. I would want us to be fully exclusive and I’d like us to move in together.”
Cassidy gasps and looks up at me, as if trying to read my thoughts about what Jack is saying.
“Wow,” is all I can manage in reply. “That seems a lot.”
“Guys, being away from you has sucked. If I’m coming back for us to be together, I want to actually stand a chance of spending time with you both—not around all of our varying schedules. The easiest way to do that is to live in one place together.”
“Where?” Cassidy whispers her question.
“I don’t know. I don’t think any of our places are big enough at the moment. But I’m happy to keep subletting mine out and get somewhere bigger for all of us. I’m due a bonus at the end of the three months. If it works out, I should be able to put down a deposit somewhere.”
“My lease is up in a couple of months. I’ve just got the paperwork to sign to renew it,” Cassidy tells us.
It all feels like it’s coming together. But I don’t want to get my hopes up. Someone needs to be sensible. “Hang on guys, I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here. Let’s put the logistics to one side for now and focus on the heart of it.” I look at Jack. “What about New York? That’s always been your dream.”
“I’m glad I did it. But it made me realise what I left behind. I love you, Tom. And you, Cassidy. I had an inkling that was the case before I left. That night you met my parents, and I told you about Claire, I just panicked. But I’m sure of it now. It’s you two that I want to be with. No one else. The rest we can figure out as we go along, right?”
A wave of emotion pours over me. I’ve waited such a long time to hear those words from Jack. I swallow hard, but it does nothing to stem the tears building up, ready to break the dam and slide down my face. Cassidy eases from my grip, making space for Jack to step closer.
“Let me say it again. I love you, Tom Mitchell.” He reaches to grip my face in both hands, smashing our lips together as he kisses me hard. He pulls away and I grasp the back of his neck, keeping him close as I whisper my response.
“I love you, Jack. It’s always been you. And now it’s Cassidy, too.” I laugh as the overwhelming emotions threaten to consume me. Laughter seems the only way through. I look at Cassidy and she’s watching us both, her eyes still ferociously red and puffy, but she’s grinning.
Jack reaches down and kisses her. One of his hands is behind her head and the other behind mine.
“I love you, Cassidy Connor,” he tells her. “Please be mine. And be Tom’s. Let’s all belong to each other.”
“Yes.” Cassidy nods as she kisses Jack and then me. “I love you both so much. I don’t know what I’d do without either of you. Let’s fucking do this!”
We get Jack booked on a flight back to New York. He leaves in twenty-four hours in time for work on Monday morning. But he’s planning to request a transfer back to the UK office and should be back in four weeks' time. If that doesn’t work out, he’s planning to leave and find something else. It’s a bit up in the air, but he’s committed to being with us and I’m more than willing to support him while he looks for another job. As long as we can all be together.
Despite still feeling rough, Cassidy and I decide to brave it and have brunch with Jack. After a big plate of food and coffee, we start to feel better. I speak to Abby and she agrees to manage the bar for me tonight. It’s a big ask on a Saturday, but I speak to all the staff rostered and check they will all be there as well as getting some extra cover too. Once I have all my ducks in a row, I feel like I can breathe again. I walk out of Cassidy’s bedroom where I’d been making all my calls and see Jack and Cass curled up on the couch kissing.
“You started without me?” I ask them teasingly.
“Never,” Cassidy says. “Just warming up a little.” I head over to the couch and they each move to the side, making space for me in the middle.
“I think we need to talk first,” I tell them. Cassidy’s eyes widen like saucers.
“What’s wrong?” Panic fringes her tone.
“Nothing’s wrong, Mac. But you’ve both opened up and been honest with me. I want to share my past with you; all the messy, crazy parts. If we’re going to make a proper go of this, I want to be open.” I lean back, settling between them as I take a moment to think about what I need to tell them.
“I’ve always been a bit of a loner. My parents weren’t around and my grandmother raised me. She died a couple months short of my eighteenth.” Cassidy gasps, her hand gripping my thigh tightly. “There were some distant relatives, but I’d never spent time with them. No one knew who my dad was and my mum had gone off the rails with booze and drugs. Gran said we were well rid of her.
“When Gran died, I was expecting her to show up at the funeral. But she didn’t come, and I had no way to contact her. We lived close to the pub, and I worked in the kitchen since I was fourteen, washing up and cleaning. The couple that owned it, Sally and Pete, never had kids and they took me under their wing. They let me stay in their box room for free and still paid me for work. I did that for another year or so while I finished at college.”
I pause for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Jack slings his arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze of encouragement.
“Once I turned eighteen, I worked behind the bar for them. I went full time after college. Gran had a sister that died a couple of years after her. She owned a flat. And had left it to Gran in her will. It was completely unexpected, but it turns out Gran had made a will, leaving me the entirety of her estate. The flat eventually sold and I got a decent amount of money; more than I ever thought possible. I travelled for about a year, picking up bar work and learning as much as I could from every place I worked. When I got back, I took on shift supervisor and then management roles at bars and worked my way up. I locked most of the money away, earning a nice bit of interest over the years. Then, a few years ago, Sally and Pete got in touch. They needed help as they were getting older. They wanted someone to buy in. So I did. They eventually retired and had no qualms with me changing things up from the old traditional pub it used to be into a more modern bar.”
Cass gapes beside me. “The pub you worked at when you were fourteen is The Thirst Trap?”
I nod. “It used to be called The Greyhound. It’s the closest place I have to something like home,” I tell her with a sad smile. “That’s why I’ve been a workaholic over the years. I don’t want to let Sally and Pete down. They moved away to the coast when they retired, but they stay in touch and visit every now and again.” I smile fondly as I picture them strolling along the promenade, arm in arm. “They remind me of your parents, Jack. Just an older version.”
He leans over, kissing my cheek with a smile. “They sound awesome. I’m glad you had them after your gran died.”
“So yeah, that’s me. Had a few casual relationships over the years, with guys and girls, but nothing serious. When Jen talked me into the threesome, I was just looking to blow off steam. I couldn’t believe it when you walked in, Jack. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And that night I became obsessed. I was so glad when you agreed to keep seeing me casually. I knew you were flighty. I didn’t want to do anything to scare you.”
Jack rests his head on my shoulder, swirling circle patterns on my knee as he listens. “I was attracted to you, Cassidy, that night at the bar. It was the first time I thought about propositioning someone else since I met Jack. Then I saw you coming in here the next morning. I knew straight away Jack liked you. And as you guys got closer, I was convinced you would end up together, and I’d be left to the side.” I sigh, remembering that feeling that everything was about to change.
“I couldn’t believe it when the threesome idea came up. I had to give it a go and see what happened. And you know the rest.” I close my eyes, resting my head on the back of the couch.
“Wow, so you loved me since you met me?” Jack asks. I open my eyes to look at him. He’s looking far too smug.
“Not loved. Not right from the start. But it didn’t take long. Apparently, I couldn’t resist your bratty nature,” I tell him with a grimace.
“Huh. I’ll just keep being a brat at every opportunity, then.” He winks, eliciting a growl that rises from deep in my belly.
Cassidy laughs. “Jack, you’re incorrigible.”
“And, apparently, irresistible.”