Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
LEVI
Stevie’s green eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her head. “What?”
She sits up with my help. She’s still weak. I know she’s thinking I’m crazy, and hell, maybe I am, but I am never, ever going through what I did yesterday ever again. I’ve never been so fucking nervous over anything in my life. I almost punched a damn cop.
“I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you—”
“You haven’t gotten any sleep, Levi. We’re both tired, and you’re not thinking straight. You were worried—”
“Worried?” I scoff. Yeah, I’m fucking tired, but not delusional.
“Worried doesn’t even begin to describe what I was and am feeling.
” I grab the edge of the hospital bed. “Stevie, I want to kill her for what she did to you. I want to kill Andrew for bringing her into your life in the first place, but I can’t do either of those things because they will stop me from ever being by your side again.
It’s a good thing Jake and I were taking care of that last night because…
” I clear my throat, stopping the frickin’ tears from falling.
I’m sure my eyes are already bloodshot from yesterday.
“Because last night, I couldn’t be at your side.
I’m not your family or husband. I don’t ever want that to happen again. ”
Her jaw drops open. “Do you know what my moms will do to you if they find out that you proposed without their permission? They’ll kill you—no, they’ll chop your balls off—”
“I already asked them,” I state, and move my hand to my pocket where the black velvet box is waiting.
Stevie sits up even higher. “What?”
Smiling, I grab her chin. “I’m not doing this just because of what happened last night, I was always going to do this. Fuck, I already had a plan for next year after we graduated.”
“What did my moms say?” she finishes her question from before.
I rip the velvet box out of my pocket and open it. She stares at the engagement ring I bought early this morning from Emma’s jewelry girl.
Instead of a diamond, the stone is citrine, her birthstone, in an emerald cut with a tiny cluster of moissanites on each side, all on a thin gold band. I’m paying for it in installments for a year, but fuck was it worth it for the look on her face.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I had this planned. It wasn’t the first time I’d looked at rings.
“Does this answer your question?” I grin at her.
“Oh God, this feels like a damn movie.” She flicks her eyes up to me. “That’s my birthstone.” My grin spreads wider as her eyes search mine. “You really had this all planned out.”
I chuckle. “Yeah,” I say as I lower myself onto one knee in the middle of a hospital room.
I could’ve waited till we were back home when there were no wires on her head, but she needs to know that I will be here for her, come hell or high water.
I’m also not exactly known for my patience when it comes to Stevie.
She covers her mouth and stares down at me. “Oh Lord.”
If she says no, I might chop my own balls off. Her moms never threatened me. In fact, they admitted to getting married soon after they met, and it worked out for them. They trust my intentions and Stevie’s gut.
“Stephanie Marie Winters, love of my life…” I breathe. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Her eyes flick to mine and the ring, and with each second that passes by, my heart beats a little faster.
Fuck, she’s going to say no.
“This is fast.” Stevie tucks a piece of loose hair back, her hand trembling.
“Yes,” I confirm. “It is.”
She bites a fingernail. “We’re still in college and we have finals coming up.”
I nod. “Again, yes.”
“We have no financial stability—”
“Bambi, do you want that future we talked about?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in her response.
I lower my arm. “So, what’s wrong?”
Stevie closes her eyes, looking more rested but still exhausted from yesterday. “We’re so young.”
“And?” I shrug. She thinks I haven’t thought any of this through.
I have to admit, I’m a little more than offended.
“Do you love me?” She nods. “Do you see us getting married?” She nods again.
“Would you have said yes if I had asked after graduation, even if we had no financial stability by then either?” One more dip of her chin. “What is stopping you then?”
I stand when she covers her face and cries. My chest cracks at that sound. I tuck the box back into my pocket and hug her tight.
“I don’t want to have kids.” The statement comes out muffled, but I hear it clearly.
My body tenses.
Grabbing her face, I tip it up. “Eyes on me.” Her eyes shoot to mine, her lips wobbling like they did yesterday. Fuck. “May I ask why?” My voice is as calm as I can make it. I’m not angry, just damn surprised.
She shrugs. “Ever since I got diagnosed, I haven’t wanted kids.
I don’t want to put my body through that.
” Stevie’s gaze softens, and the image of her having a swollen belly while carrying my baby disappears.
This isn’t something we’ve talked about.
In fact, it’s the only thing we’ve never talked about.
I’ve always pictured a life with kids, only one, really, possibly two, because of the musician lifestyle I might pursue in the future.
But if it’s between having kids and letting go of Stevie, I’ll always choose Stevie.
She glances at the door. “I’m going to have the surgery next year.
My neurologist and gynecologist are the only people who know.
” She sniffles and looks at me with a straight face.
“Levi, if you need biological children, I am not the woman for you. You will end up resenting me.” I close my eyes and let out a deep breath.
She’s saying no. “This doesn’t mean I never want kids.
” Popping my eyelids back open, she holds a finger up, knowing I was about to speak.
“I want to adopt. If you think that, that can make you happy, then…”
I grab a hold of the bed again, a new future already forming in my head. “If I’m okay with that, then what?”
“I want you to think about it and make your decision then.” Stevie observes the bed and purses her lips. “If I could make a dramatic exit right now, I would.”
A chuckle leaves me. “Stevie—”
“No,” she shuts me down. “I need you to think about this. For now, let’s have breakfast together and watch some TV before they retake my blood pressure and stab me with some more blood thinners, okay?”
Forty-eight hours of not sleeping next to her will be fucking torture, but if my woman needs this, I’m willing to give her anything she wants.
“Okay.”