29. Spice Cabinet
SPICE CABINET
Annie: aight, listen up heifers. margaritas at Whiskey Blue. tonight. I need warm bodies and bad decisions.
Tabby: oh no, what happened?
Annie: I had a week.
Ava: Define “a week.”
Annie: let’s just say it was capped by my mother calling twice to ask when I’mma get my life together
Tabby: oof
Yasmine: ouch
Annie: so. drinks. tonight. who’s in.
Tabby: I would but I promised Nico I’d go to his cousin’s thing
Annie: what thing?
Tabby: I don’t know. there’s a cousin. there’s a thing. I’ll be there looking cute and confused.
Ava: Tapped out too, babe. Gallery wants the new pieces Friday and I’m three canvases behind.
Annie: damn. y’all really busy busy.
Annie: so just me and Yaz then?
Yasmine: …
Yasmine: I can’t tonight either
Annie: what
Annie: the fuck you mean you can’t? you’re my ride-or-die. my “drop everything and bring the blunt” bitch.
Yasmine: I know. I’m sorry. I have plans.
Annie: what plans
Yasmine: plans with Hale
Annie: …
Tabby: …
Ava: …
Annie: Yasmine Amira Valentine.
Yasmine: don’t full name me
Annie: ARE YOU DITCHING ME FOR DICK?
Yasmine: I’m not ditching you. I had plans with him first.
Annie: say less. don’t need the details.
Tabby: I’d like some details
Ava: Same. Paint the picture, queen.
Yasmine: CeeCee’s out of the apartment tonight. He’s coming over for dinner
Tabby: “dinner”
Yasmine: actual dinner. bought steaks.
Ava: not groceries
Tabby: she’s cooking for him
Yasmine: and then I’ll probably jump his ass after. balance.
Annie: okay first of all. correct. as you should. get yours
Ava: Naturally.
Tabby: expected behavior
Yasmine: thank you
Annie: and second, I am disgusted. in my soul and in my spirit.
Yasmine: I know
Annie: you chose a man over your girls. your BEST girl. me. your day one
Yasmine: don’t start
Annie: I held your hair while you cried over that Latin man
Yasmine: that was ONE time
Annie: it was three times
Tabby: I remember four but two might’ve been the same night
Yasmine: no one asked for the breakdown
Ava: We tease because we care.
Tabby: and because you make it easy
Annie: mostly because it’s funny
Yasmine:
Annie: fine. go have your steaks. get your back cracked and be happy. but tomorrow you’re coming over with wine and I want a FULL DICK REPORT
Ava:
Tabby:
Yasmine:
Annie: yeah. you right. it is Hale.
Ava: Thought you lost your mind for a minute.
Annie: PARTIAL dick report
Yasmine: what does that even mean
Tabby: highlights, a few details
Hale: I would actually prefer no report at all.
…
Yasmine: HAAAAAAAALE???
Tabby:
Ava: LMFAOOOOOO
Annie: WHY IS THIS MAN IN HERE??
Hale: I’ve been here the entire time.
Yasmine:
Annie: remove him immediately
Hale: Thought I was Spice Rack Adjacent??
Annie: please. you’re a MAN.
*Ava changed the group name to Spice Cabinet MEN*
Hale: people really do just switch on you smh
Annie: goodbye Hale
*Annie removed Hale*
Annie: anyway. back to this dick report.
Yasmine: highlights, a few details. got it.
Tabby: we sure we want it though?
Ava: Most definitely. He’s gonna put it down now he knows he’s gonna be graded. You’re welcome, by the way.
Yasmine: I’m done lol. I gotta go.
Tabby: have funnnnn
Ava:
Yasmine: love y’all. be normal
Annie: same. and if any of y’all suddenly grow a conscience and wanna abandon your lame plans to come comfort me in my hour of need… I’ll be over here eating ice cream by myself like a sad loser
Tabby: I’ll bring you a plate from the cousin thing
Annie: I don’t want cousin food I want FRIENDS
Ava: Tomorrow then. All of us. Mandatory.
Annie: fine. but I’m pulling out my journal tonight. everybody getting a mark in the bad friend column
Tabby: tell me this woman don’t have a literal journal
Yasmine: she does. I’ve seen it.
Ava: Where do I rank currently
Yasmine: lol. good night y’all
Ava: No for real. Who’s leading?
Tabby: Bye. keep me posted on the rankings.
Ava: I’m about to start my own journal.