Chapter 17
A loud bang jolted Kat awake and her eyes flew open.
She clutched a hand to her suddenly racing heart as she tried to orient herself.
The sound of rain hammering against the window over the bed grounded her in reality.
She was in Harry’s flat. Her flat. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep; it wasn’t quite dark, but the light was fading rapidly.
Shoving the quilt aside, she groped around for the light switch on the bedside lamp.
Without the warmth of the quilt it was chilly in just her pyjamas, so she fetched a thick hooded sweatshirt from the cupboard and tugged it on before opening her bedroom door.
Her mouth dried at the sight of Harry dressed only in a pair of black trunk-style underpants.
She’d seen him on the beach dozens of times wearing not much more than he was now, but this was different somehow.
He was bent at the waist, gathering a pile of clothes at his feet.
Not wanting to get caught ogling him, Kat took a step back towards her room and banged her heel hard on the doorframe. ‘Ouch!’
Harry’s head whipped up and Kat’s entire face turned so hot she wondered if this was how people died of spontaneous human combustion. He straightened up slowly, the bundle of clothing held against his thigh. ‘There weren’t any lights on so I thought you must be out.’
‘I, uh…’ Kat gestured behind her towards her room. ‘I fell asleep.’
Harry’s body rippled slightly and the last of her sleepiness and the shock of seeing him nearly naked disappeared under a wave of concern. ‘Oh my God,’ she exclaimed as she hurried across the open lounge area towards him. ‘You’re freezing!’
Harry shivered again. ‘I got caught in the rain. I was going to put my wet stuff straight in the machine.’ It was his turn to gesture behind him, this time in the direction of the kitchen.
‘Here, let me do that.’ Kat grabbed the bundle of soaking wet clothing from him. ‘Go and jump in the shower before you catch your death!’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Harry quirked her a smile and strode the few short steps to the bathroom.
Kat swallowed as her mouth went dry again.
He really did have the most delicious backside she’d ever seen.
Horrified by the errant thought, Kat spun on her heel and made a dash for the kitchen.
She shoved the wet things into the washing machine, then hunted in the cupboard under the sink for the box of cleaning capsules he’d shown her earlier.
She tossed one into the machine then decided to wait and see if he had anything else to go in there first.
While she waited for him to finish in the shower, Kat made herself busy.
She filled the kettle and switched it on then opened the fridge to see what there was to eat.
There was plenty of fresh veg in the bottom drawer and a packet of chicken breasts on the shelf.
A bit more exploration and she’d found some double cream and an unlabelled pot that when she removed the lid and took a sniff she was delighted to discover was homemade stock.
By the time Harry padded into the kitchen, his feet bare but the rest of him decently covered in a pair of thick grey jogging bottoms and a black long-sleeved T-shirt, Kat had the chicken diced and was chopping garlic and onions.
She smiled over her shoulder at him. ‘I’ve put a pod in the machine but left it in case you had anything else to go in it. ’
‘I’ve got a few bits, thanks.’ He eyed the ingredients laid out in front of her. ‘What are you making?’
Kat shrugged, embarrassed at her lack of recipe knowledge. She knew what she had in front of her would combine to make a nice flavour, but that was as far as it went. ‘Umm, some sort of chicken gloop.’
‘Ah, my favourite.’ She didn’t miss the way Harry’s lips twitched in the corner.
He left the kitchen, returning a few moments later with an armful of clothes that he stuffed in the washer before turning it on. Kat tensed, half expecting him to try and take over but he seemed perfectly content to sit at the table, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
It was a bit intimidating trying to cook with him watching her, so Kat did what she always did when she was nervous and began to chatter.
‘So, I’m really happy with my room and I saw you’d cleared a shelf for me in the bathroom, which is great, thank you.
I was wondering if maybe we should put together a few house rules.
Nothing too serious, just a few guidelines to make things easier for each other.
’ She tipped the chopped garlic and onions into the frying pan on the hob with a splash of oil and whacked up the heat underneath it.
‘Like what? Not getting undressed on the doormat?’
Kat felt her cheeks heat again. She wasn’t embarrassed, she’d just turned the burner up too high. She fiddled with the control and whisked the ingredients around the pan with a wooden spoon. ‘Well, yes, that would probably be a good starting point.’
‘Noted. What else?’
She glanced over her shoulder at him. ‘This isn’t supposed to be me imposing conditions on you, I was thinking more of a collaborative process, agreeing how we’re going to split the chores, paying the bills, that kind of thing.’
His ready smile fell. ‘I’m not really one for admin. Carmel used to do it all before she moved out. She helped me put everything on direct debits so it just comes out of my account.’
‘If you can let me know how much you pay, I’ll set up a regular payment into your account.’
He scratched his cheek. ‘Numbers aren’t really my strong point, either.’
Kat resisted the urge to sigh. She could understand why he was reluctant to discuss it, but this was getting them nowhere fast. ‘You have online banking?’ He nodded. ‘And you must get bills and statements.’
‘They send me emails. I check they don’t have anything in big red letters and that’s about it. I can have a look and forward you whatever I can find if you like.’
That would be a start. ‘Great. In fact we could probably set up an auto-forward rule on your email so anything in future comes to me.’
Harry laughed. ‘If you say so.’ He stood. ‘I’d better go get my laptop and you can perform whatever witchcraft you need to do.’
‘I hope you don’t think I’m being too pushy?’
He paused in the doorway and smiled at her. ‘Kitty, if you want to take over the admin stuff for the flat you can have it with bells on. You’d be doing me a big favour, I promise.’
While he set himself up at the kitchen table, Kat managed to brown the chicken, onions and garlic without burning anything, added it to a large earthenware pot with the rest of the ingredients and put it in the oven at 180°C, which was her default setting for pretty much everything.
She kept waiting for Harry to say something but his attention was fixed on his screen.
Kat fetched her own laptop and in short order she had a spreadsheet set up to record and track their bills and set things up so she’d automatically get an email copy of everything she needed.
A quick brainstorm and they’d also made a list of regular chores and agreed a fair distribution.
She closed the laptop screen with a satisfied snap. ‘All sorted.’
Harry was watching her with that quirky smile. ‘Proper little admin queen, aren’t you?’
He probably meant it as a joke, but Kat began to worry she’d overstepped. ‘I just wanted to understand what my share of the costs was, I didn’t mean to take over.’
He pushed his laptop aside and folded his arms on the table.
‘I meant what I said before about you feeling like this is your home. You’re welcome here, Kat, just as you are.
There are no tests to pass and it doesn’t matter if you aren’t the perfect housemate.
I’m sure we’ll both do stuff that irritates the other person over the coming weeks but that’s part and parcel of sharing a space with someone. ’
Kat knew he was only trying to be nice, but somehow it had the opposite effect. ‘I just don’t want to be a nuisance to you, that’s all.’
Harry shook his head. ‘You’re not a nuisance to me, quite the opposite. I want you here with me. I hated living on my own and you’ve already brought such warmth and light to the place. You have no idea what a gift it was to walk into the kitchen and find you cooking dinner.’
‘You haven’t tasted it yet,’ she joked, feeling awkwardly pleased at the idea she’d been able to make a small difference so soon.
Harry rolled his eyes. ‘Behave yourself, I’m sure it’ll be great.
I’m not some kind of impossible-to-please diva, you know.
I cook because I love it and it makes me feel good to see people enjoy what I make.
But it’s really nice to not have that expectation sitting on my shoulders too, if that makes sense. ’
It did. ‘I get it, I do, it’s just…’ She trailed off, wondering how to explain without sounding like a complete headcase. ‘I like to get things right so I overthink sometimes and then even basic stuff ends up feeling like a really big deal.’
‘You can’t live your life like that, Kat, worrying about what everyone else wants all the time, bending to fit in with them because you’re worried about how they’ll react.
You have as much right to occupy this space as me, to ask for the things that you know will make you more comfortable.
’ A deep furrow etched between his brows.
‘Is that what it’s been like at home for you all these years? ’
The last thing she wanted to do was talk about her parents, so she stood and plastered on a semblance of a smile. ‘Not everyone got as lucky as you in the family lottery, Harry. I’d better check on dinner.’
She made it barely a step from the table when his hand enclosed her wrist. It wasn’t a tight grip and she knew the slightest pressure against it and he’d release her.
But she didn’t want him to let her go, she wanted him to anchor her in that moment, tell her again that she deserved to take up whatever space she wanted and he’d be fine with it.
Inevitably, inexorably, she was back on the beach feeling his arms around her, the weight of his lips pressing in delicious demand against her own.
His hand slid lower, entwining their fingers together.
‘Kat?’ His voice was a deep rumble and the way he said her name was a promise she desperately wanted to hear.
The sound of his chair scraping back sent her insides skittering and she could feel the warmth of him at her back though the only parts of their bodies that touched were their hands.
What would it be like to simply lean back into the strength of him?
To feel his arms close around her, to have him hold her and…
her brain fritzed out as the image of Harry in only his underwear popped into her mind.
‘Kat?’ Softer this time, yet no less tempting.
What if she gave in to this new desire and it all went wrong? What if they woke up in the morning and realised it was all a terrible mistake? What if they woke up and Harry decided she was a mistake? It was a risk she couldn’t afford to take. ‘I’d better check on dinner,’ she said again. Coward.
His hold on her vanished and Kat hurried towards the oven before she could change her mind. Only after she’d finished stirring the pot and put it back to cook for a bit longer did she risk a peek across the kitchen. Harry wasn’t there and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
Relieved, she told herself as she grabbed her laptop and escaped to her room to try and process what had almost happened.
Harry was a good friend, nothing more. Just as one swallow didn’t make a summer, one kiss – no matter how heart-poundingly wonderful – didn’t make a relationship.
It would be too easy to mistake this new proximity between them for intimacy.
Once they’d adjusted to being around each other it would become easier for the both of them, she was sure of it.
Hadn’t she decided that this was the year she was going to focus on building a more secure future for herself?
Throwing herself headlong into a romance that risked not only the roof over her head but ruining a friendship she deeply valued would be reckless in the extreme.
And Kat had never been reckless in her life.
Unfortunately.