Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
EMMA
New Year’s Day
My friends and I get back to my parents’ place at three a.m. It’s a bit earlier than I expected, but almost all of us are either tipsy or drunk.
Luckily, my family decided to celebrate the New Year at a friend’s house upstate.
My friends aren’t the quietest bunch. Although the craziest one—Jake—has been in Aspen since the day he left for winter break, and it’s the first time since we’ve met that we haven’t spent New Year’s Eve together.
Without Jake here and being surrounded by couples, I promised myself I’d only drink enough to get tipsy for many reasons, mainly because I don’t want to cry over the fact that Grayson hasn’t contacted me in a week.
It would’ve felt strange after he sent me such a heartfelt gift on Christmas, though it made me miss him even more.
Kamila nearly falls on me in the foyer before Cameron catches her.
“I haven’t seen her that drunk in a long time.” Levi laughs and points.
Levi’s most definitely tipsy and acting like an idiot, meanwhile Stevie doesn’t seem the slightest bit fazed.
Levi and Stevie’s wedding bands glint in the moonlight as she helps him with his coat, and he kisses her nose, making her giggle.
They went through so much to get to where they are now, and although their PDA can be a bit much at times, I’ve never been happier for two people… other than Kami and Cam.
“Best New Year’s Eve ever!” Brad, Luna’s boyfriend, yells. He’s drunk.
My friend, who I haven’t seen nearly enough of in the past couple of months, slaps his arm. “Lower your voice.” Luna’s tipsy and angry.
His shoulders slump. “Sorry, babe.” I muffle a laugh as we take off our jackets and shoes, except for my Manolos, which I plan to put in my closet.
“Seriously, Emma,” Brad continues. “The people coming down from the ceiling, doing all those tricks, the food, the music.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve never been to a party like that.”
Luna smiles and rolls her eyes. “It was a pretty great party.”
“You guys can thank my dad for the invitations,” I tell them. “He’s the one with the connections to these things.”
“Usually it’s Jake,” Kamila mutters as Cameron sits her down on one of the chairs in the living room to take her shoes off. “His parties are also great, but he’s far away, getting pictures taken by the paps with a random girl. Right, baby?”
Her palm lands on the middle of Cameron’s face, and he exhales an impatient breath. A snort escapes me. “Yes, baby, you’re right.”
She is right about Jake always getting us into the best parties, and about him being photographed with a girl whose face we couldn’t see. They were both in ski suits, and he told us that it wasn’t anyone or anything important. We took his word for it.
Kami smiles and kisses Cameron on the cheek. Cam, who is tall, tattooed, and looks like he could beat anyone’s ass, kisses her softly, caressing her cheek.
My best friend looks so happy, and it fills me with so much joy in return.
This. This right here is why I always kept my personal life personal. I didn’t want to take away from their joy, but it was foolish of me to do so. I kept things secret when they were always going to help. Then again, I wonder if I was waiting for the right person to tell them things about.
My phone vibrates, snapping me out of my thoughts. I see a reply to a text I sent yesterday morning. One that was separate from the group chat.
Me: What’s up with your weird answers in the group chat lately?
Jake: I’ve just been busy with some family shit. I’ll catch you guys up soon enough. Happy New Year, Ems.
Letting out a loud sigh, I lock my phone and choose to ignore Jake’s vague answer about who he’s hanging out with and why.
I do a one-eighty and see everyone coupled up, snuggling in each other’s arms. Now I feel like the seventh wheel.
I rub my bare arms, which are exposed by the revealing gold satin minidress I decided to wear tonight.
New York City is filled with millions of people; it’s the city that never sleeps.
There are museums, countless bookstores, and sightseeing galore.
When you turn a corner, you’re guaranteed to see someone on the same block every time, along with cars roaming at three a.m. Yet somehow, amid the millions of people surrounding my home city and the six others sitting in my own living room, I feel lonelier than ever.
I feel lost. And yes, I’m slightly jealous of my friends having it easy, but that’s not fair to them or me.
And on that highly depressing note, it is time for me to go.
“I’m going to head to bed, you guys.” Some eyes turn to me. Kami’s already half asleep and only mumbles something incoherent. Cam gives me a knowing look, and mouths, Are you okay?
Stevie and Luna see the exchange, and I whisper, “I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” They all smile and say good night. I start to walk up the stairs and remember a key piece of advice. “That rug cost three thousand dollars, so I’d rush to the bathroom if one of you needs to throw up.”
As I continue my trek up the stairs, I hear Cam shout, “Fuck! I do not have three thousand dollars, Kamila.” He pushes her past the bottom of the stairs into what I assume is the bathroom near the parlor.
Chuckling to myself, I enter my room, shut the door, and lean against it.
“I can only wait so much longer, Grayson,” I whisper to no one in particular.
Closing my eyes, I talk to the one person I know is listening.
“I need your help, Charlotte. You’ve seen everything, I know you have.
I’m sure you’ve even pushed me in some ways, but I need a sign.
Anything at this point.” I open my eyes again, change, and bring my laptop to bed.
Opening a folder I only click on when I really miss Charlotte, I watch my cousin and I running around the room, putting on some sort of dance show for the last New Year’s Eve we spent together.
“I miss you, Char. I wish you could’ve experienced life with me.
You probably would’ve done it better.” I grab a tissue to blow my nose with the river of tears streaming down my face.
“You left me too soon. You left everyone too soon.” Charlotte’s parents left the country after what happened and never looked back, not that we ever blamed them.
I laugh and cry at all the videos that play, falling asleep to the voice of my first best friend.
It’s January third when I get the call.
The call that determines my fate for my last semester at Driscoll University.
My parents and I are at our favorite French restaurant for a late lunch, which is jam-packed with tourists, when my phone vibrates on the table, displaying Amelia’s name. I’m surprised she would call me so soon after New Year’s, and I’m not sure if that’s a great or terrible thing.
The music in the restaurant isn’t loud, but the patrons act as if it were a club.
New York City is wild this time of year, and it’s the only downside of living in Manhattan and having one of our favorite restaurants in the West Village.
“It’s Amelia. I’ll be right back.” I check the entrance where people are waiting for a table and decide to run toward the bathroom, answering the call as soon as I reach a quieter area.
“Amelia?”
“Hi, Emma. How are you?” she says more warmly than usual.
I raise an eyebrow at her kinder demeanor. Amelia’s never been angry or a bad boss, only always with a strict tone, a certain edge, and constantly on alert.
“I’m good, thanks. And you?”
“Good. I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year’s.”
“You too—”
“Now that we’re done with the formalities, I’m calling to let you know that Oliver and I spoke as soon as I got back from vacation and after hearing back from the university, as long as you use Brighton as your last name for your articles, you are all set to continue writing and be the features editor of the Driscoll Wolf Weekly. ”
Letting out the deepest breath of relief I have ever had in my entire life, I answer, “Thank God and thank you and thank Oliver.”
Amelia makes the closest sound to a laugh she can muster. “I may not be your editor in chief anymore or part of the paper at all, but I’ll be keeping my eye on you, Emma. Don’t let me, Oliver, or yourself down.”
Biting my lip to stop the happy tears from falling, I lay a hand on the wall to steady myself. “I promise I won’t.”
“Rest up because starting in a couple of weeks, you’ll be the busiest you ever have been.”
I almost hop in place, ecstatic that my work did indeed pay off.
If I hadn’t pulled all-nighters or searched for the pieces I wrote over the past few months, I know they wouldn’t have given me the chance to be part of the paper anymore.
It’s not because of my dad’s last name, but because of my hard work that I’ll be an editor.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Good. Now I’m going to return to relaxing. Good luck, Emma.”
“You too, Amelia.”
Hanging up, I do an exaggerated happy dance when one of the bathroom doors opens. I clear my throat and pick up my phone to call the first person I want to tell, except I still don’t have his number and haven’t heard from him since Christmas.
This is getting to be too much. I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate the wait.
I unlock my phone to send a quick text to the group chat with the good news.
When I open the thread, I see the last messages, including another blurry picture of Jake and who we think is the same mystery girl from before New Year’s.
Then there are a bunch of messages of us bombarding him with questions that he refuses to answer.
It’s just a random girl, is all he wrote.
Yeah, because that helped ease our curiosity.
Making my way back to the table, I tell my parents the good news and thank them for all their help.
We talk, enjoy great wine, and eat amazing food.
Only, nothing tastes as good as it normally does.
Looking at the glass of my favorite red wine, I feel something in me snap.
Who am I? What have I become? I’ve never been the type to wait around for anyone, especially a man.
The guy I briefly dated in high school ended up making out with another girl, and although I was only sixteen and could have easily been manipulated into staying with him, I cut him off just as quickly as I had agreed to be his girlfriend.
I may be inexperienced when it comes to dating, heck, I only slept with three guys before Grayson, but I’ve always stood my ground because I know what I want.
Enough is enough. I’m not looking to sleep with anyone else, but I need to do something for myself. I need a routine and a major change.
Opening an app on my phone, I book an appointment for tomorrow with my usual girl and type in the details of what I want. Then I ask my mom if we can go on a shopping spree, which she, of course, says yes to.
This will help, I hope.