Chapter 9 Have You Heard My Songs
I didn't speak.
"I put a lot of money into the projects Shen Xinrui joined. Her reputation is too bad. If Spilt Water flops, the company cannot take that hit."
"Sometimes I really envy Shen Xinrui. How can luck be this good." I laughed, sharp with mockery. "Whatever she does, someone covers for her."
Xiao Yuan looked at me, his voice gentle.
"Zhiyi, you are a smart person. What I am talking about with you is interest, not emotion. You understand that."
"Then why do I have to swallow every grievance."
The feeling rushed straight to my eyes. I held the tears and still stared at him.
"You don't care. I do. I make things. I fucking make a living through emotion."
Xiao Yuan clicked his tongue, like a false face had been pulled off, and he sounded irritated.
"Is there even a comparison? I protect her only to protect my interests. Who the fuck doesn't have backing. All these years, haven't you been protected by your dad too?"
"Every project, at the root, is just about making money!"
His words came faster and faster. My tear-filled eyes were on him. He no longer looked like the man who always had room to spare. He spoke without care.
"What are you being noble about? Those pretentious love songs you write have to make money too, don't they?"
The air went still.
My tears fell, clear enough to hear.
I asked softly, eyes red.
"Have you ever listened to my songs?"
No answer.
Unexpectedly, I was not that sad.
The worst of it had already passed. I had already endured it and swallowed the bitterness.
Xiao Yuan and I had never truly opened up to each other. All these years, he had never bothered to understand me.
He remembered Shen Xinrui's birthday. He knew her tastes. Shen Xinrui's acting was that bad, and he could still finish her third-rate xianxia idol drama without changing his face.
But he had never listened to my songs. He even thought my songs were all empty moaning.
How could it be like this. I could not stop the tears.
That was the outlet of my soul, holding every joy and every anger.
I could see him panic. He leaned in, wiped my tears with his fingertip, and coaxed me gently.
"Zhiyi, it was Brother Yuan who was wrong. I said the wrong thing."
I shook my head while crying and pushed his hand away.
Xiao Yuan caught my wrist and almost half-held me.
"Brother Yuan was wrong. Brother Yuan was a bastard. Zhiyi, don't cry, all right?"
I could not hear him. The familiar faint woody scent stole my breath. The closer he came, the more it hurt. I sobbed.
"Xiao Yuan, let me go!"
The sob came out thin and broken.
Xiao Yuan went still, as if the sound had caught him off guard. His face looked stripped of the ease he always wore.
He finally unlocked it.