Chapter 19 Let’s Give It a Try
I flew back from Paris to Shanghai and had a fever again.
Fortunately, I was still conscious this time.
I dragged my sick body into a taxi home. On the way, I ordered some fever medicine for delivery.
Two hours later, I opened the door.
Warm yellow light spilled out. On the table sat steaming clay pot porridge and a few side dishes.
Zhao Yu skillfully took my luggage.
"I saw the delivery medicine. Figured you wouldn't eat much right now. So I quickly made some light porridge."
Zhao Yu pulled me to sit down and pushed the perfectly warm porridge toward me.
He pointed at the pickled dishes. "Hurry and try them. I made these."
I said nothing, lowered my head, sipped the porridge, then ate a bite of pickles.
Suddenly, my eyes stung.
"How could you... how..."
"You want to ask why my pickles taste like Grandma's?"
"I learned it from her."
The grandma Zhao Yu spoke of was my grandma.
When Zhao Yu was little, his parents were busy earning money and left him at his grandpa's house right next to my grandma's.
His grandpa was not good at cooking, so Zhao Yu often ate at my house.
Later, Zhao Yu's dad gave Grandma money for his board.
For a long time, Zhao Yu and I ate together.
What we loved most was Grandma's pickles.
Later, Grandma fell ill.
Zhao Yu and I went to see her. She had Alzheimer's and hardly recognized people anymore.
She asked me, "Have you seen Zhou Chengting and Zhao Yu? I just pickled some tender greens and kohlrabi."
"Zhou Chengting has been skinny since young. Without pickles he won't eat well. Tell him to come home early if you see him."
"Zhao Yu too. He plays and forgets to go home."
She muttered, "If this old lady passes, no one to make pickles. What if Zhou Chengting doesn't eat well?"
I was almost crying.
Zhao Yu comforted me while holding Grandma's hand.
"That's easy, Grandma. Teach me the pickle recipe. I'll watch over Zhou Chengting and make sure he eats properly."
I thought it was just Zhao Yu comforting the elder. Who knew he actually learned it.
Zhao Yu proudly showed off. "I not only learned it, I brought Grandma's pickle jar home. I've been keeping it in water."
Maybe because I was sick, I got sentimental easily.
Or maybe I missed Grandma.
My eyes reddened suddenly.
Zhao Yu panicked and paced around anxiously. "Hey, why are you crying?"
"Is your body uncomfortable or the food bad?"
"Eh, are you missing Grandma? Take your medicine and sleep well. If the fever drops tomorrow, I'll go with you to sweep Grandma's grave."
"Don't cry. It's all my fault. I was too busy showing off and forgot how close you were to Grandma."
"Or don't eat. I'll make something else."
Watching Zhao Yu's anxious face, I suddenly found it funny.
What was love?
It was sharing meals like this porridge and these pickles through the seasons.
In my life, family bonds were thin. I had lived thirty-two years, people came and went around me.
In the end, only Zhao Yu remained.
Zhao Yu had already stood up to go to the kitchen for other food.
I pulled him. "Zhao Yu, how about we give it a try?"
Zhao Yu hadn't reacted. "Try what?"
Then his eyes lit up suddenly. "You mean... you mean..."
I looked at his silly expression and nodded. "Yes, I mean your cooking is so good. I want to try dating."
Zhao Yu blushed. "My mom was right. Men who can cook really get a wife!"
He rubbed his hands and paced in the room.
"If you weren't sick now, I'd make you a full Manchu-Han banquet!"
I chuckled lightly. "No need for the banquet. Haven't you eaten? Sit down and eat with me."
Zhao Yu sat down smiling, his eyes never leaving me.
Even though we were so familiar, his stare made me a bit uneasy.
I tapped the table. "Aren't you hungry?"
Zhao Yu shook his head. "You're a feast for the eyes."
I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm sick. Don't think about taking advantage."
Zhao Yu quickly waved his hands. "What are you thinking? I'm not that beastly!"
After eating and taking the medicine, I went to bed.
Zhao Yu helped cover me with the quilt but didn't leave.
I had to open my eyes. "What are you doing?"
Zhao Yu said somewhat embarrassed. "I want to look at you."
I laughed. "Haven't you seen enough in twenty years?"
Zhao Yu shook his head. "Even a lifetime isn't enough."
Then he suddenly lowered his head and kissed my forehead.
I suddenly remembered a noon many years ago.
The fan creaked in the classroom, cicadas chirping louder outside.
Zhao Yu slept at the desk.
Sunlight fell on his face.
I pretended to turn my head casually.
And quietly planted a kiss in his hair.
That dream lost in my youth.
It finally had a day to see the light again.
Losing and regaining was true fulfillment.