Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
ADAM
I show up to the job site after a night without sleep. I can’t stop replaying last night in my head. She didn’t say much. I did most of the talking and I’m not sure if that was good or bad.
I needed to get it out, needed to put into words the hurt I’ve felt since finding out about Dominic.
I was robbed of the excitement of becoming a dad. Robbed of the joy and congratulatory words from my brothers, and my parents. Robbed of the joy on their face when I got to tell them I was going to be a father.
Robbed of loving the mother of my son.
Billy is already here leading the guys. I don’t say it enough because he’d get a bigger ego than he already has, but I’m lucky to have him.
He’s a hard worker, dedicated. It’s not just because he’s my brother.
His ‘all work, all play, all the time’ attitude is who he is.
What drives him. It’s also what got him into trouble, but I think he’s learning to balance it all now.
Mine on the other hand. ‘All work and no play’ has given me the surprise of a lifetime.
Maybe if I was more easy-going, more go with the flow, I wouldn’t be in the predicament I’m in right now.
“Morning bro, you look like shit.”
“Gee thanks. You’re so kind.”
He claps me on the back. “Just keeping it real. Where are we at this morning?”
I ramble off the chores that need to be finished before we move to the next step on this house. My timeline is strict but efficient, and that’s why I’m the number one company around here.
It’s warm today. We work without breaks until midafternoon when Jackson shows up with sandwiches for the guys. I eye him, already knowing what’s coming.
“Alright, thirty-minute lunch break.” I watch my crew grab some drinks and their lunch and head towards the shade for a quick rest.
Billy and I follow Jackson to the back of his truck, and I jump onto the tailgate, yanking my shirt off, open a water bottle, and pour it over my head trying to cool off. Unwrapping the turkey and Swiss on rye, I settle in for a conversation I’m not ready for but know is coming anyway.
“Good thing Chelsea came back with Dominic. Your dad bod is on point.” He pokes my ribs and laughs. I don’t have an ounce of fat on me, and he knows it, but he’s just gotta push my buttons.
“Fuck off.”
Billy laughs. “Just saying, you wouldn’t want that to go to waste without having a kid to show for it.”
Jackson chuckles but doesn’t stop Billy’s taunting. “Come on, big bro. Want some advice of how to get and keep the girl?”
I side eye him, but the guy just keeps going.
“So, it’s obvious you’ve had her once, what with your mini-me running the show now.”
“Billy,” I warn him.
“But how to keep momma happy, well that’s a different story.”
I snap. “How would you know how to keep a woman happy, Bill? Do you give them gas money on the way out the door? Maybe a coupon for half off next time?”
Billy laughs and grabs his chest. “Right for the heart, bro. I do have coupons for condoms. Maybe I should have given them to you.”
Before I know what’s happening, I’ve got my baby brother by his shirt and pushed up against the side of the truck.
“Adam. Damn brother, calm down. He’s just messing around.” Jackson is next to me, trying to get us apart.
“Don’t talk about Dominic,” is all I can growl out. I step away from him, and Billy just grins while he’s smoothing his shirt down.
“I’m happy to see some emotion from you, but you need to tone it down with me, Adam. I love that kid, too. I’m glad he’s here. That wasn’t a dig about not wanting him here.”
Sighing I lean back against the truck. “What the fuck am I doing?” I say out loud not wanting an answer but knowing I’ll get one.
“Chess told me you guys talked last night. I’m assuming it didn’t go well?”
Jackson hands me a fresh bottle of water. Taking it from him I absentmindedly unscrew the cap and gulp it down. “I don’t know what she wants. Or what I want. She’s taken so much from me. And I don’t know how to move on from it.”
“She’s also given you a lot,” he says softly.
I know he means Dominic. Christ, how did I not know I wanted something so badly until I got it?
I nod and drop my gaze to the ground. “Yes. I told her that. Dominic is the best thing to come from this mess.”
“It’s only a mess until you clean it up, Adam,” Billy says.
“And how do I clean it up? Just jump into being father of the year? Fuck it. Might as well go for husband of the year too, right?”
He shrugs. “The courthouse isn’t far,” he says with a smirk.
“Why don’t you start with dinner?” Jackson suggests. “Go out. Talk. Get to know each other again.”
“We tried to talk last night, and it got heated. Quickly.”
“So don’t talk about heavy shit. Just catch up. You know, date.”
I give him a questioning look. “Date her? I can’t stand her!
” My voice carries and I notice a couple guys on my crew turning their heads toward me.
I can’t even care right now, I’m so enraged.
“She left me without so much as a text. She moved away when she knew she was pregnant. She knew it was mine. Then she had the baby. Celebrated a birthday with that baby. Suddenly she decides to come back? We were together for years; only half of which were solid, so how could we possibly move forward now?”
“Calm down, Adam.”
“No! She’s living in my house with my son, while I’m across the street, alone, and I’m not supposed to be mad?” I slam my fist down on the tailgate wincing at the pain it brings me and begin to shake it out. “Fuck!”
“This is some real Jerry Springer shit. I’d say we need to get Maury involved but it’s pretty clear to anyone with eyes who that baby belongs to.”
Clenching and unclenching my fist, I rub it with my other hand. I can’t believe the turn my life has taken in the last seventy-two hours.
Billy jumps on Jackson’s bandwagon. “Listen, you never dated your baby momma. Maybe it will be different.” He says it so proudly. Like it’s the best idea he’s ever had.
“That’s a stupid idea.” I shake my head, taking a step back from the guys. “I need to just be a father to Dominic. Chelsea and I can’t happen. I can’t play this roundabout game with her anymore.”
“You sure about that? From my perspective the only thing you were ever sure of is that she belonged to you.” I lift my eyes to a matching set of mine.
Billy is drilling me with a know-it-all look and continues giving voice to something I never thought I’d be considering again.
“So no, it’s not a stupid idea. And yes, you need to be a dad, but you’ll also have to deal with CJ for the rest of your life.
Obviously, things have changed, a baby changes everything.
You’ve got years between you guys now. And a kid.
You’re both different people now. Give her a chance to explain.
Let her get to know the new you, and you learn about the new her and maybe once you do, raising a kid between all of that may become a little easier. ”
“When did you become so relationship savvy?”
He laughs. “I read.”
I grunt. It’s my only response.
“I need to talk to Grace.” I’ve been avoiding her since the football game. “I need to explain things to her, cut it off and start this dad thing with a clean slate.”
“Dad thing,” Jackson snorts.
I check my watch, not wanting to discuss this any further.
“Back to work!” I yell to my crew.
I slap hands with Jackson. “Thanks for the grub. And the advice.”
Billy pushes at me then shakes hands with Jackson too. “Good thing you got us, man. Maybe you won’t be a lonely old man after all.”
He laughs then ducks away as I take a swing at his jaw.
Date my baby momma? I scoff at the thought. Last night it was the last thing I wanted. How could I possibly go back to her after she left me? Took my child with her? This is a betrayal I may never get over.