Chapter 22
Francesca
His eyes never leave mine, but he runs his hand over my nipple, causing me to gasp. I caress his hand over my breast and close my eyes, letting myself feel.
Don’t talk. Just feel, Chessy. Just let me feel you.
We’re staring at each other, learning each other’s bodies, and it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever done. I’m not embarrassed to be naked in front of him. I feel empowered touching him. I’m causing his reaction. He wants me.
He lays me back down on the bed and kisses my neck, my collarbone, continuing down until he takes my nipple in his mouth, causing me to arch from the bed. He pinches my other nipple, rolling it with his forefinger and thumb, and I feel like I could explode right there.
“I love your tits. Will you let me fuck them next time?” Our gazes meet and his pupils are wide. He's wearing a smug grin.
Oh, this man and his mouth. My heart races at his filthy words. I wrap my legs around his waist, urging him into me, my heels and panties—the only thing I have left on—pushing into the back of his thighs. We dry hump like we’re teenagers and it’s exciting. I’m moaning and he’s breathing heavily.
“Fuck, you feel so good. I’ve been dreaming of touching you for weeks.”
“Mmhmmm,” is all I can get out. Words are not a part of me right now.
He pulls my panties down the rest of the way and throws them to the floor, I’m frantic about getting his boxers off, pushing at them with my hands. He chuckles.
“Slow down. I warned you once already.”
“I can’t help it. I need to feel you.”
He stands, his sudden departure hurts. He grabs my leg and leans down, kissing my ankle again, only this time he grabs the string of my shoe with his teeth and pulls. The ribbon unwraps, and he slides my heel off. Then he grabs my other leg and does the same. The slow motion is so sensual.
Jackson stands in front of me, slowly stroking his own cock, his eyes locked on my naked core.
“Oh my God,” I reach for him. “Let me.”
He shakes his head. “Not yet.” He reaches for his wallet and pulls out a condom. Rolling it on, he lays back down on me, arms on either side of my head.
“You sure?” he asks.
Nodding. “Absolutely,” I say.
I let my legs fall open and he slowly pushes inside me. Slowly, because I feel like a virgin on prom night, I suck in a gasp of air.
“Am I hurting you?”
“No. It’s okay. Just go slow. It’s been a while.”
“You’re so tight and wet, I can’t take it,” he moans. “Jesus. You’re so ready for me.”
“I told you I wanted you.” I kiss his lips and trail down his neck, then flick his nipple with my forefinger.
“Your body is amazing. These curves? Made for me.”
With one urgent thrust, he pushes all the way in and we both gasp.
“I need you to move, Jackson.”
His eyes meet mine as he works his hips and with every thrust, I feel him breaking a piece of me apart.
Everything I’ve wanted to find in a man is in front of me right now. He’s considerate and taking his time. He’s watching me, silently making sure I’m okay with this.
He reaches a hand down in between us and finds my clit. Tapping it as he pulls out, then massaging it as he pushes in, I moan and rock beneath him.
“Yes, keep doing that.” I throw my head back.
“I can’t wait until I get my tongue on you. To lick you, to suck your clit. Fuck, you feel so good.” He’s still massaging me with every thrust. He picks up the pace and I lift my hips to meet him. “You’re doing so good, Chess.” His praise sends electricity through my body.
Maybe words are my kink, too?
His eyes are glassy. We’re both beginning to sweat, we’re about to come together. He drives his hips forward, taking more and more of me.
“Take it. Take me deep.” The sweetest of moans escapes him as he bottoms out. Hitting a spot inside of me that’s never been touched by another man, I shout.
“Jackson! Oh yes! I’m coming!” I spasm underneath him and can feel him go with me, filling me. He grunts and thrusts harder as we both come down from the high.
He slowly stills on top of me and kisses me.
“I could do that all night; it was fucking beautiful to watch.”
All of a sudden, I’m feeling shy and just nod and bury my head in his neck.
“Hey, no. Look at me. Where’d ya go?”
“I’m right here,” I sigh. “Your kink got me,” I laugh nervously. “No one has ever spoken to me like that during sex, and I’ve never been vocal like that either. I couldn’t help it in the moment, but now I feel weird.”
He’s still inside me. “Then you’ve been missing out, but I’m glad it’s me that gets to talk that way to you.
” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Don’t feel weird.
Are you kidding me? Hearing you respond to me like that was fucking hot!
” He kisses me again, and rolling me to the side, he pulls out of me, and handles the condom then comes back to wrap himself around me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Better than okay.”
“Good.” He kisses my neck and runs his hands around to my hips again. “That felt different.”
I turn to face him. “Different how? Bad?”
He kisses my eyelids, trying to calm me. “No, not bad. Different good. Like, different perfect. Like... different you were made for me.”
My heart explodes. This man. I wrap my arms around him.
“This is so fast,” I say.
He strokes my face. “Not something a man wants to hear after sex, Chessy.”
I laugh and push at his chest. “I don’t want you thinking differently of me.”
He leans up on one arm. “No way. Do you think fifteen years is taking things too quickly?” I struggle to get away but he pulls me in closer.
“Jackson! I’m serious. I’ve only been back here for a couple of weeks. Whatever we’re doing feels super-fast to me. I swore I wouldn’t do this to myself.”
“Do what? We’re adults. And I don’t think differently about you. How could I?”
I debate whether to keep talking. But if we’re going to do this, I’ve got to let him in.
I have to show him I can trust him. If he’s letting me accept this slowly, I need to show him I’m willing to go there with him.
Albeit slowly, but I am willing. And that’s what I want him to know.
Whether or not he’s leaving, he deserves my all right now.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course, you can tell me anything.”
“I was waiting for you. When I went away to college, I had big dreams, fantasies, really, I guess you’d call them.
That I’d come home for Christmas, or you’d visit me at school, we’d see each other and wouldn’t be able to keep our hands off each other.
So, I waited. And then when you went pro, I knew it would never happen.
I knew everything had changed. I was happy for you, so happy, but at that point I pretty much gave up on any idea of you and me.
The feelings never left, but I knew I had to move on. ”
“And that’s why you left Christmas, right? Why you moved to the city? To get away from me?”
“Not to get away from you exactly, but just to get away from it all. Even though we had no relationship, I had idealized us in my thoughts. I had to leave, to start over, start fresh. And then I met Nick, he was so nice at first, protective and caring, like how you guys were with me. So, I fell for him, and fast. I was missing home; I was reading about you in the papers, and I got lost.”
I take a breath. “Not that I want to talk about this while lying here with you, but I wish he wasn’t the one who... I wish I wasn’t so quick to think… to try to move on…”
“Shh, it’s okay. Francesca, I wish it was me, too.
I wish I could change a lot of things I did.
If anyone got lost, it was me.” He shakes his head, looking away from me, whispering ‘so lost’ so quietly I almost miss it.
He clears his throat and looks me in the eye again.
“I have a ton of regrets. But what I have right now? At this moment? If all that shit got me here with you, I’d do it all over again.
Because having you right here with me? It’s everything, Chess. It’s everything.”
I sigh and snuggle into him. We’re holding each other tight, afraid if we relinquish the hold, we’ll slip away. This man is everything I knew him to be once we finally allowed it to happen.
Everyone gets a little lost, but if you leave the light on, we can all find our way home.