Chapter 28
Francesca
“Chessy!” Adam bellows as he walks into my house.
“Yes, big brother?” I smirk at him as I come round the corner and into my kitchen. I’ve got my ‘Gages Girl’ jersey on, Daisy Duke jean shorts and my hair in a ponytail. Jackson is going to die when he sees me. I just hope I don’t distract him too much from the game.
He’s floated through my mind all day. Jackson in his jersey.
Jackson in his coach’s uniform. Jackson in a backwards hat.
The way his hands flex when I come near him, like he’s fighting off grabbing me and running away.
The way he throws his arms around me. Jackson whispering dirty things in my ear. Jackson going down on me.
Jackson.
Jackson.
Jackson.
I need to regain control of my thoughts.
“Chessy? Did you hear me?” Adam just rolls his eyes at me as I clear my throat and stare at him. “I said, looks like you’re going all out, huh?”
“I mean, I am the girlfriend, got to play the part.”
“As long as it's only playing.” He raises his brow.
Shit, does he know something? “Whatever Adam,” and I hip check him. “Grab a beer, everyone will be right over, then we’ll head down.”
“How’s everything going anyway? The press around the fight seems to have died down quickly.”
“Yeah, well, when Nick didn’t get the reaction he wanted from anyone, he disappeared again. I don’t believe for a second that he’s letting it all go, but for right now we have a reprieve.”
“Just be careful. You’re spending a lot of time with his team and him. Gage can be very consuming.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Jackson falls very easily into the main focus of everything. Becomes everyone’s priority. Then leaves. You know he’s planning on leaving right?”
Damn, Adam, talk about cutting a girl to the core.
“Of course, I know,” I snap. “That’s why I’m helping him.”
“Okay, okay, don’t get so defensive. I just want to protect you.”
“You don’t have to protect me at every turn. He’s your best friend, why are you talking about him like that?”
“Yes, he is my best friend and I know him like the back of my hand. I just don’t want you getting caught in the crossfire.”
“I’m a big girl Adam, I can handle myself.”
“You’re so stubborn. Why can’t you let me worry about my little sister?
” His face drops when I give him an ‘are you kidding’ look?
“Sissy, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I just,” he sighs.
“I know Jackson. The real Jackson and the Jackson the world thinks they know. Then there’s the Jackson that he gives the world.
He’s very easy at conforming to what he thinks people want to see. ”
“Clearly not if he can’t get them to see he’s a great coach that deserves a chance at something bigger.”
“No, you’re right. He’s still being held back by stupid bullshit that is years old.
What I’m saying is… fuck, I don’t know what I’m saying.
Chessy, I don’t want you falling into a trap.
A trap of a future he can’t give you. I know you always had a crush on him when we were younger, and I know I’ve had to tell him quite a few times to stop looking at you a certain way.
I love Jackson to death, you know that, he knows that, I just think this thing, whatever you guys are doing for the press is going to convince you he can give you something he can’t. ”
“What if it’s me that can’t give him something he wants?
Ever think of it that way? I’m trying very hard to help get him a title he deserves, and maybe I’m not good enough to do it.
Maybe I’m incapable of pulling this act off to get him to where he needs to be.
Deserves to be. But I’m jumping in anyway because he believes that I can.
I want to believe I can, and it’d be nice if you’d believe in me, too. ”
He winces at that. “I do believe you can do it… if you don’t get sidetracked. I don’t want him crushing your spirit, breaking your heart. I’ll fucking kill him if he hurts you, I don’t care how long we’ve been friends.”
Bingo. That’s what I’m afraid of the most. That whatever Jackson and I are doing will cause a fall out that is irreparable with our families. I step closer to him and hug him. He’s just trying to protect me. “You’re a good big brother, Adam.”
“Hey! We’re good brothers, too! What’d he do that’s so special?” Billy and Tom come walking in, with Farrah, Bobby and Britt right behind them, everyone decked out in their Christmas Comet gear.
“Yes, you’re both great brothers, too.” I lean into Tom and Billy spins me seeing my jersey.
“Gages Girl, huh? Going a little hard, aren’t you?” He raises a brow, mimicking Adams words from earlier.
“Got to play the part,” I shrug.
Billy wears a sly smile. “Yes, baby girl, play that part,” he says with a wink.
What the fuck.
No one’s ever called me baby girl besides Gage. Where did that come from?
Britt butts in. “Okay, okay,” she’s clapping, “let’s get to the field before we miss the kick off, please!”
She gives me a squeeze and I give her one back, a silent thank you for disrupting whatever the heck is going on around here tonight.
We all file out the door and pile into my brother's Tahoe, heading to the school to watch the big homecoming game. I haven’t been to one in years, the last one probably being one of my own.
However, the memory that lives on in my mind is the one where my brother and Jackson were seniors.
Of course, we were all at the game, my family in our usual spots right behind the bench at the fifty-yard line, cheering on our boys.
Jackson's arm was on fire that night and my brother could do no wrong on the field. They won 45-7, a complete blowout. When we were on defense, Jackson glanced up and made eye contact with me in the stands. He gave me one of his classic smiles and mouthed to me ‘thank you for being here’. My heart stopped. I’m sure I did some stupid face or arm movement in reply.
He just smiled again, winked then turned back towards the game.
The game ended and my parents went to the parking lot, waiting for the boys to come out.
Britt and I were hanging around by the locker room, waiting for our brothers.
We just wanted to tell them we would meet them down at the grille but of course I had dreams of Jackson rushing from the door and straight to me, still sweaty from the game but wanting to be close anyway.
The team was spilling out from the locker room, cheering and laughing.
Adam and Jackson both came out and I gave Adam a hug to congratulate him.
Told him how well he played. Then I looked toward Jackson, not sure what I was hoping for but if he had taken the moment to find me during the game, he would now, as well, right?
Our eyes connected and I thought he was going to step towards me for a hug, but then he stopped.
He glanced at Adam, and something passed between them.
He looked past us and called out, ‘there’s our favorite girls’!
I heard giggling and Anna, my brother’s then girlfriend and one of her friends pushed between us and our brothers, and latched themselves onto them.
Britt grabbed my hand and we left.
I didn’t leave with Jackson that night.
But I will tonight.
We pull into the parking lot, and I try brushing that memory away and I smile at the crowds. This is different. This is many years later. We’ve grown up, it’s a different time, a different scenario and we are all different people now.
Britt must read my face because she mimics my thoughts. “This is brand new tonight.” She leans in closer. “Same people but different roles. It’s a new start.”
All I can do is nod.
I’m excited but nervous too. This is another big outing where we’re together in real life, but our families think we are still pretending. Will I be able to pretend to not be in love with him around them, but act the part for the crowd? When I actually am in love in real life? This is so confusing.
We climb the stands and take our usual seats. The cheerleaders and the mascot are dancing. The place is electric. The announcer comes over the loudspeaker which makes the crowd erupt even louder. He introduces the opposing team which earns a bunch of boos and then begins hyping up our team.
“Put your hands together and welcome your reigning State Champions and hometown Comets to their homecoming night!” The crowd goes wild. The announcer calls out the starting lineup and the kids run from the locker room onto the field. “Make some noise for your starting quarterback, Jameson Winters!”
A feeling of pride fills me as I watch him run onto the field.
He’s a great kid and he’s going places. I’ve been working with him on picking schools and getting his highlight reels together.
He’s genuine and good. He reminds me of Jackson when he was that age before he was tainted by the limelight.
And I know a lot of Jameson’s qualities are because he has Jackson for a coach.
“And no team would be complete without an all-star coach! Welcome Coach Jackson Gage!” I watch Jackson jog onto the field, he tips his hat to the crowd but has no intention of making himself the spotlight.
The announcer continues. “I don’t need to tell the town this, but Coach Gage brings years of experience as your former Carolina Warriors quarterback.
We are so grateful he chose to come back and make Christmas his home once again!
Good luck tonight, Coach, but with what you’ve brought to this team we know you don’t need it! ”
I can see Jackson trying to tune out what’s being said. When he’s on the field, he is here for the kids, he doesn’t want this recognition. But I know, as his PR agent, this helps him. I hope someone got this on film. It will be good to add to his reels, as well.
He circles up with his team, giving them a pep talk.
Then they all put their hands in, and I hear him shout, “Mindset. Heartset. 100 percent!” The boys repeat it, jumping and barking.
I shake my head at the barking and laugh.
Jackson turns and catches my eye, winking and placing his hand over his heart, holding my gaze.
I smile and wink back, placing my hand over my heart.
What are we saying? Whatever it is, we are saying it for everyone to see.
Adam caught it. He gives me an incredulous look and shakes his head. Billy hands him a water bottle and starts talking to him which I am grateful for, it breaks whatever bizarre thing just happened.
The game was a runaway from the start. We were up by three touchdowns at the half, then thirty-eight points come the end of the third quarter.
The opposing team had yet to get on the board.
Fourth quarter came and Jackson pulled his starters giving them a rest and put in his second string.
Those kids were just as good and continued running circles around the other team.
For the most part Jackson was focused on his team, but I did catch him giving me looks throughout the game.
I knew I had him when I stood cheering and he saw my shorts.
I winked and flipped my ponytail the slightest bit and he bit his lip, his hands clenching into fists, his tell that he was trying to keep himself in control.
If we could get away from our family, tonight would be a good night. I’d make sure of it.