Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chase
Even though I got in late last night from the airport, I was up as the sun rose and out on the water.
I sat there on my board, staring at the sunrise over the crystal blue ocean water.
I needed to talk to Kinsley, and I needed to do it today.
It was time, and as scared as fuck as I was, I knew I had no choice.
I waited until around one o’clock, and then I headed over to her apartment.
I grabbed the gift bag and the envelope containing the documents from the seat and walked up the stairs.
“Kinsley, it’s me.” I knocked on the door.
“Chase, what are you doing here?” she asked as she opened it.
“I need to talk to you. May I come in?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
I set the bag down and handed her the envelope.
“I brought the papers back.”
“Thanks.” She took the envelope from me and removed the documents.
“You didn’t sign them?” She looked up at me.
“No, I didn’t, and I’m not going to.”
“What?” she asked in confusion.
“Sit down, Kinsley. Please.”
“Chase, what is going on?”
“I’ll explain everything if you sit down.”
I paced around the room for a moment, trying to work up the courage to talk to her about the things I never talked about. My heart was beating at a rapid pace, and I was sweating profusely.
“Chase?”
I took in a long, deep breath.
“My mother and I were very close when I was a child. She was my world, and I loved her so much. My dad was constantly working, and she was the one that was always there for me. We did everything together. She always put me first, no matter what. Then one night, when she was on her way home from shopping with her friends, he got into a car accident and broke her back. I’d never seen her in so much pain, and it frightened me.
The recovery was long and hard for her, so she dealt with it by taking more pain medication than she should have.
Once she fully recovered, she continued taking pain pills, which led to other drugs, bad drugs.
Right before my very eyes, she became a drug addict. ”
“How old were you?” Kinsley asked.
“I was eight years old at the time. My father put her in rehab for six months, and we went and visited her once a week. She told me she was going to get better for me because she loved me so much, and she hated me seeing her like that. She came home, and a couple of months later, she was back on drugs. At first, she hid it very well, but eventually, she spiraled downwards. She and my dad would argue every single day, screaming and yelling at each other. I begged her to go back into rehab and asked her to do it for me because I loved her so much. I remember sitting on her bed one morning and her placing her hand on my face with tears in her eyes. She told me that she loved me so much, and she was checking herself back into rehab. She checked herself out after being there for a couple of weeks, and I never saw her again. My father tried for a year to find her, gave up, and filed for divorce.”
“Chase,” she softly spoke. “I’m so sorry.”
“I isolated myself, and that was when I started coding and working on programs. It was a distraction from thinking about her. I was so angry that she would do that to me, and I couldn’t understand why.
She said she loved me. You aren’t supposed to do that to the people you love, especially your own child.
My dad ended up marrying Greta, one of my stepmothers.
She was kind and accepted me as her very own.
She was my substitute mom, and I loved her.
A couple of years after they were married, she was diagnosed with stage four uterine cancer, which quickly spread to other parts of her body, and she died within three months.
My father couldn’t stand to be alone, so he married three more times.
Things never worked out, and they would divorce.
I would never get close to any of them because if I did, I knew they’d leave. ”
I walked over to the couch and sat beside her, placing my elbows on my knees.
“You were right about me being a scared little boy and hiding behind my mommy issues. It seemed like everyone I loved left, so I made a promise to myself never to get close to someone out of fear they’d eventually leave.
I couldn’t take the heartbreak. That’s why I live the way I do. It’s easier for me that way.”
She reached over and placed her hand on mine.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“When you told me about the note you left your mom, it struck something inside me. That’s why I said the things I did to you.
And I got so angry because you’re different from any other woman I’ve ever met.
I can’t explain it, Kinsley, but you’ve brought out feelings in me that I never wanted to have. ”
“Chase,” she softly spoke.
“Let me finish. I really like you, Kinsley, and I have since the day I met you. Like I said, you’re different from anyone I’ve ever met, and I want to be a part of your life and our baby’s life. I’m not going to abandon either one of you.”
“But what about your reputation? Your title of L.A.’s sexiest and most eligible bachelor?”
“That’s all it is: a title. And now it can be changed to L.A.’s sexiest daddy.” I grinned.
Kinsley let out the sweetest laugh.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me after the things I’ve said to you,” I spoke.
“I don’t hate you, Chase. I’ve liked you too since the first day I met you. It’s just—”
“Kinsley, I know I have a lot to prove, and I promise you that I will. I know you’ve been hurt by your mom, your dad, Henry, and Krista, but I can promise you that I’ll never hurt you. I want to be with you, and only you and I want to raise our baby together.”
“Are you ready to be a father?” she asked.
“Are you really ready to be a mother?” I arched my brow.
“I don’t know.” She smiled.
“Exactly. I don’t think anybody’s ever really ready. I have something for you.” I smiled as I got up from the couch and grabbed the gift bag.
“What’s this?” She looked up at me as I handed it to her.
“Open it.”
She removed the tissue paper from the bag and pulled out her bunny. Her jaw dropped as she stared at it, and she looked at me with widened eyes.
“Beatrice. Chase, how—”
I knelt down in front of her.
“I paid a little visit to your hometown. Dreadful place.”
“I told you it was. Why did you go there?”
“I wanted to see where you grew up.”
“You went to my house?”
“I did, and I met your mother. She’s—”
Kinsley put her hand up.
“You don’t have to say it. I can’t believe you went there. How is she? You didn’t tell her where I was, did you?”
“No. I didn’t tell her. I did tell her that you’re living the life you always wanted. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and she misses you.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“She said you’re a strong woman, and she’s happy you got out.”
“Sounds like you had quite a talk.”
I brought my finger up to her eyes and wiped away the tears that began to fall down her cheek.
“We had a brief chat, and then she kicked me out.”
“What?” She laughed.
“I tried to be nice, but she hurt you, and that hurt me, so I told her what a lousy mother she is. And I quote, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are coming into my home, dressed in your fancy expensive clothes, and talking to me like that?’”
“Oh my God, Chase.” She continued laughing.
“Can you believe she served me scotch in a red plastic cup?”
“I’m sure all three glasses in the house were dirty,” Kinsley spoke.
“They were, but still. Does she have no respect for alcohol? I also paid a little visit to that greasy diner you worked at. Also, a dreadful place. By the way, the fat man behind the counter said you’re fired.”
“I can’t believe you went there.”
“That’s not all. Your ex-best friend Krista was my waitress, and your ex-boyfriend was sitting in the booth across from me. I walked over, grabbed him by his shirt, and punched him in the face.” I smiled. “I told him it was from you.”
Kinsley covered her mouth in shock.
“You really punched him?”
“I did. You’re welcome.” I winked.
She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer.
“Thank you,” she whispered in my ear.
“He hurt you, and he wasn’t going to get away with it.”