24. Ramona
— ? —
Ramona
Julius has his phone out again. Dakota looks at it, then back at me. She adjusts her bag on her shoulder while we wait for her to explain how she knew about messages we hadn’t mentioned.
“I don’t know what you received.” She holds her own phone against her chest. “I know how people talk about me now. I assumed if anyone was going to cause trouble, they’d do it through his phone.”
“You mentioned messages before either of us did.” I stay beside Julius when he shifts toward her. “That was a specific guess.”
“I knew you’d blame me if anyone tried to cause trouble.” She turns toward him. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
Julius holds out his hand for the gate remote. She looks down at his palm, then slowly gives it to him.
“You shouldn’t be here.” He puts it in his pocket. “I should have collected this when you left.”
“You gave me permission to use that gate.” Dakota glances toward the house before meeting his eyes again. “I wasn’t trying to sneak in.”
“That permission ended when you stopped working here.” He doesn’t move toward her. “You need to go.”
I reach for his hand. He turns his palm beneath mine without looking away from her.
She looks at our joined hands, then at the bare finger resting against his. I tighten my grip before I can stop myself.
“I thought you might at least hear me out.” Her voice softens while she keeps looking at him. “After everything we talked about.”
“We’ve already had that conversation.” Julius stays beside me. “I’m not having it again.”
A hand comes out of the barn behind us. Dakota notices him and lowers her voice.
“You don’t have to do this in front of people.” She takes a step toward the car but keeps facing us.
“You didn’t mind people listening when you spoke to me at the rodeo.”
Dakota’s mouth tightens.
“Julius was sitting beside you. He could have told me to stop.”
“I could have.” He answers before I do. “I laughed instead.”
She turns toward him, almost relieved to hear him admit it.
“Then you understand why I didn’t think anybody minded.”
“I understand what I allowed.” He stays beside me. “I’m not telling you it was acceptable.”
Her fingers close around her bag strap.
“You’re making different rules now.”
“Yes, I am.” His hand stays around mine. “I should have made them clear sooner. That doesn’t mean you can ignore them today.”
Dakota looks toward the barn, where the hand has stopped beside the doorway. This time, she doesn’t ask Julius to send him away.
Dakota stands beside the sedan long enough for the driver to look back through the open window. Then she gets in, pulling the door shut without another word.
Julius keeps hold of my hand until the car turns toward the main road. He lets go only to take out his phone, and I watch him write a message.
“What are you doing?” I move close enough to see the screen he turns toward me.
“Asking them to disable her remote and change the gate code.” He sends it while I’m watching. “She won’t be able to drive in again.”
“She never admitted sending those texts.” I rub my forehead, suddenly too tired to keep standing straight.
“We don’t know for sure that she did.” He puts the phone away without deleting the conversation. “We’ll keep them. We don’t have to decide what to do while you’ve barely slept.”
I look toward the main barn. The vet is still inside, and a hand waits near the door with a clean towel over his shoulder.
“Come check her with me before we go.” I reach for Julius’s hand again. “I still want you to stay for a while.”
He takes it without asking whether I mean the cottage or the house.
***
June is standing by her stall door when Julius finds me with the invitation. I finish marking her medication chart while he waits beside the gate, then take the phone he offers.
“Cedar Falls asked if I’d ride in their exhibition.” He lets me read before continuing. “I haven’t answered. I withdrew from the Classic this morning, so this would be instead of it. It’s closer, and we could come home the same day.”
I scroll to the date, feeling my shoulders tighten. Julius notices, but he doesn’t ask me to relax or tell me it’s only a small event.
June noses toward the chart, making me move it out of reach. I hang it on its hook before looking at Julius again.
“She has to be comfortable before we leave her.” I pass his phone back. “I won’t spend the day wondering whether we went too soon.”
“Then I’ll tell them I need to confirm closer to the date.” He opens a reply. “If they need a definite answer now, it’ll have to be no.”
I watch him write exactly that. He explains that a horse needs care at home and that he can’t commit until we know she’s settled. He doesn’t mention a worried wife.
“I want to see you ride.” I put my hand over his wrist before he sends it. “I want to know what I’m walking into when I get there.”
“You will.” He squeezes my hand and presses send, and I stay beside him while he waits for the reply.
***
Ten days after the night she went down, the vet is satisfied with June’s progress, and we confirm the trip. I go through her care with the hand staying behind, making him tell me what he’ll do if her breathing changes.
Julius loads our bags without interrupting. When I reach the truck, he has water in the cup holder and the passenger door open.
“We can stay if you want.” He watches me look back toward the barn.
“I want to go.” I climb in, catching the chain beneath my collar as it pulls against my neck. His ring rests against my chest.
I put it there while I was getting dressed at the cottage.
I stood with the band in my palm, trying to decide whether wearing it meant I was promising more than I could give.
In the end, I threaded it onto the chain because I wanted it with me.
I haven’t told Julius, and he doesn’t notice while I pull my seat belt into place.
He closes my door and walks around the truck, and I keep my hand against the ring until we leave the ranch.
***
A handwritten sign reserves a space for us beside the Cedar Falls arena. Julius parks between the cones, then looks over when I point at our name.
“Did you ask them to save you a spot?” I gather my bag from the floor.
“I didn’t, but I’m grateful.” He checks how close the next truck is before opening his door. “You would’ve had plenty to say if I made you walk across the whole lot.”
“I would’ve carried my own bag while I said it.” I smile when he comes around to take it from me anyway.
The organizer meets us at the entrance. He shakes our hands and starts explaining where Julius needs to go, checking his notes while he walks.
“The prize money won’t be what you’re used to.” He glances at Julius. “We appreciate you coming out regardless.”
“If I win any, put it toward the younger riders.” Julius stops so the man doesn’t have to read and walk at the same time. “Use it where you need it.”
The organizer lowers the page.
“That would help us buy some equipment.” He looks toward the practice area before turning back. “We’ve been making do for a while.”
“Send me the details when you’ve had time to work them out.” Julius shakes his hand again. “You have enough to do today.”
I stay close while the man takes us toward the chutes. Julius keeps my bag over his shoulder, looking back whenever the path narrows and I have to fall behind.
When we stop, he puts the bag on the bench before reaching into his pocket.
“Will you hold this?” He offers me the old buckle with his palm beneath it.
I take it slowly, running my thumb over the back. He doesn’t move until my fingers close around it.
“You brought it yourself.” I look up at him.
“I wanted to give it to you before I got on.” He keeps watching my face. “I wanted to know you had it.”
I put it in my pocket and leave my hand there while he gets ready. When he returns wearing his vest, I straighten the strap near his shoulder.
“Listen if they tell you to stop.” I finish checking it and lift my eyes.
“I will.” He catches my wrist gently. “You’ve checked that one already.”
“I’m deciding whether I trust your work.” I try to smile as he kisses my fingers.
He waits for me to step closer before kissing me properly. I catch his vest and hold him there until somebody approaches to tell him they’re ready.
“Come find me afterward.” I let him go and move behind the barrier.
“You’ll be the first place I go.” He keeps his eyes on mine before turning toward the chute.
***
My fingers hurt from gripping the buckle by the time the buzzer sounds. Julius gets free, lands on his feet, then stumbles far enough that I start toward the gate.
He catches himself against the rail. A hand reaches him and asks a question, and Julius points to his shoulder before looking toward me.
I stay where he can see me while they check him. As soon as they let him leave, he comes straight over.
“I scraped my shoulder.” He tells me before reaching for my hand. “They’ve looked at it, but I’d like you to check it, too.”
“You could have stayed upright.” I catch the edge of his torn sleeve, laughing through a breath that hurts.
“I’ll try to remember that next time.” He bends toward me, and I meet him before he finishes.
His hand settles against my back. I hold his face while I kiss him, making myself feel that he’s standing here and breathing instead of continuing to picture the stumble.
Somebody calls his name for a photograph, and Julius stays with me.
“You can go.” I glance toward the waiting man.
“In a minute.” He brushes his thumb beneath my eye. “Are you all right?”
“I’m getting there.” I take the buckle from my pocket, then close my hand around it again. “You can let me keep this a little longer.”
“As long as you want.” He touches my cheek, checks the dust on his thumb, and looks apologetic.
“You’ve made it worse.” I catch his wrist before he tries again.
“I usually do with the dirt.” He waits until I smile before taking my hand and walking toward the photographer.
***
The organizer lets us use the tack room while I clean Julius’s shoulder. He sits on a bench with his shirt beside him, watching me open the first-aid kit.