30. Ramona
— ? —
Ramona
Julius comes to the cottage gate with his phone in his hand instead of his hat, and he doesn’t come through it.
“Ben called.” He holds the phone where I can see it. “The account took the screenshots down. They put this up instead.”
I take it. It’s short. The correction says the source altered the screenshots.
Julius never wrote the line about our marriage making his life smaller.
The one about last night was cut from a conversation about a ride.
The message saying I could never know was made up for the picture.
Under it, Julius’s own statement is still there, the one about the messages he did send.
I read it twice. Then I hand the phone back.
“You left yours up.” I lean on the gate.
“It’s true.” He puts the phone in his pocket. “That part doesn’t come down because the rest was a lie.”
I don’t say anything for a while. Out past the pasture, a hand is turning June into the small paddock the vet approved. She lowers her head to the grass, then lifts it when she hears us. I watch her breathing before I look back at Julius.
“Strangers know the difference now.” I say it mostly to myself.
“They do.” He doesn’t reach for the latch. “That’s all it changes.”
“It’s not nothing.” I open the gate for him. “Come in. I made too much chili.”
***
Two weeks later, Julius is waiting beside the truck when I come out of the courthouse. He straightens as soon as he sees me, then stays where he is with his hands in his pockets.
I asked him to wait outside. He didn’t ask whether I was having second thoughts, and he hasn’t sent a message while I’ve been inside. Now I have the envelope in my hand, and he keeps looking at my face instead of trying to read it.
“I signed what they needed.” I stop in front of him and hold it against my stomach. “I’m withdrawing the divorce.”
His hands come out of his pockets.
“You’re sure?”
“I signed it, Julius.” I put the envelope in my bag so I can take his hand. “React.”
“I’m trying not to pick you up in a courthouse parking lot.” He looks down at our fingers, his mouth starting to curve. “I wasn’t certain you’d appreciate that.”
“You could try kissing me first.” I catch his shirt with my free hand. “We’ll see how you behave after that.”
He cups my cheek and bends toward me slowly. I hold him close while he kisses me, then stay against him when he rests his forehead on mine, and his breath shakes before he gets it under control.
“I love you.” He brushes his thumb beneath my eye, although he’s the one whose eyes have filled.
“I love you, too.” I wipe the dampness from his cheek before fixing the button he missed. “I’m not promising I’ll be easy to live with.”
“I’ve had time to consider that.” He smiles properly now, keeping his arm around my waist until I turn toward the passenger door.
He opens it for me, but I pause before getting in.
“Take me home.” I wait until he looks at me. “I want to put my things away.”
He squeezes my hand before letting me climb into the truck.
***
Julius asks whether we can stop at the training pen before we reach the house. I agree, watching him turn onto the familiar track beside the fence.
The boards we replaced are straight, and the gate opens without anybody having to lift it. I run my hand over the top rail while he waits beside me.
“You finished the far side.” I check the corner where I told him the post was leaning.
“You had a lot to say about it.” He closes the gate after we walk through. “I thought I’d remove one reason for you to complain.”
“You’ve still got plenty.” I take his hand before he can ask what they are.
We stop near the place where I roped him while we were working. I remember wanting to kiss him and being afraid of what he would expect afterward. I remember telling him I was still going ahead with the divorce.
“I knew I loved you when we were here before.” I look at him instead of the fence. “I didn’t know whether that was enough to come home.”
“What changed?” He keeps hold of my hand and lets me take my time.
“You stopped asking me to prove it by trusting you.” I rub my thumb over his knuckles. “You started telling me the truth even when you knew I might leave.”
He looks down at our hands, then reaches into his pocket with the other one.
“I brought this.” He opens the small box between us. “You don’t have to put it on today.”
My wedding band rests inside. I touch the scratch along its edge, remembering the stall latch that caught it while I was trying to get June inside, and Julius holds the box steady while I take the ring.
“I wanted this back when I gave it to you.” I turn it between my fingers. “I just couldn’t keep wearing it and pretending I was all right.”
“I know.” He closes the empty box without putting it away. “I’m glad you told me, even though I hated hearing it.”
I slide the band over my knuckle myself. It settles against my skin, and I turn my hand toward him so he can see it.
He takes my hand and kisses the ring. Then I take it back and lift my hair.
“Will you undo this?” I turn enough for him to reach the clasp of my necklace.
His fingertips are careful against my neck. When the clasp opens, he lowers the chain into my palm, and I slide his ring free.
“Do you still want yours?” I hold it where he can see, smiling when his eyes come straight to mine.
“I do.” He offers his left hand. “I’ve been trying very hard not to ask.”
“You managed.” I take his hand and guide the band over his knuckle.
We stay there with our hands together after it’s in place. He looks at the rings, then at my face, and I have to swallow before I can finish what I need to say.
“We keep going to counseling.” I squeeze his fingers. “Even when we’re having a good week and you think we don’t need it.”
“We keep going.” He puts the empty box away. “I’m not going to decide we’re finished because you’ve come home.”
I nod, then put my hand at the back of his neck and kiss him. He draws me closer, taking his time until I turn my face to breathe.
Over his shoulder, I see a working rope hanging on the rail, and Julius follows my gaze and starts smiling before I move.
“You’ve just put that ring back on.” He loosens his arm so I can step away. “Could I enjoy it before you find a reason to drag me around?”
“I haven’t done a thing yet.” I lift the rope from the fence and shake out the loop.
“You’ve made your intentions fairly clear.” He moves away from the gate, checking the ground before stopping.
I start turning the loop slowly. He has room to move, but he stays where I can reach him.
“You’re allowed to get out of the way.” I watch him fold his arms.
“I’m waiting to see whether you still know what you’re doing.” He raises his eyebrows, and I throw before he can laugh.
The rope settles around his waist. I gather the slack, bringing him toward me until he lowers his hands to my hips.
“You walked into that.” I look up at him, keeping hold of the rope.
“I stood still.” He brushes his mouth against my cheek. “You’ve been exaggerating my involvement since the first time.”
“You still want me?” I let the rope loosen while I wait for him to look at me.
“I want you.” He settles his hand at the back of my neck. “Even when you’re trying to trip me.”
I smile and catch his collar.
“Then I guess I’ll keep you.” I pull him down before he can answer.
***
Wes is waiting near the truck when we reach the house. He has a bakery box beneath his arm, and his smile gets wider when he sees Julius carrying my suitcase.
“Welcome home, Mrs. Wyatt.” He lifts the box. “I thought we should mark the occasion.”
I take it from him while Julius opens the truck’s rear door for the rest of my things.
“You look very pleased.” I check beneath the lid and find enough cinnamon rolls to feed the people pretending not to watch from the barn.
“I had faith.” He keeps his face straight until Julius looks over his shoulder.
“You had faith the day you handed me a cinnamon roll at the cottage gate.” I take one before handing the box back. “Go feed the others.”
He heads toward the barn while Julius watches me lick icing from my thumb.
“You’re going to carry that inside, aren’t you?” I point toward the box he’s lifted out of the truck bed.
“I was waiting for instructions.” He follows my gaze toward the house. “Where do you want it?”
“In our closet.” I pick up my bag and start toward the door.
His footsteps stop behind me. When I turn, he’s standing beside the truck with the box against his hip.
“You heard me.” I smile before continuing up the path. “Keep walking. I’m not carrying that one.”
He catches up and walks beside me to the door.
From the hallway, I can see the stairs leading toward the room I left. My side of the closet was still empty when I came back for a coat. Julius hadn’t moved his things across or used the shelves I cleared, and I stay near enough to touch his arm as he carries my clothes upstairs.
***
Julius sets the last box on the floor beside the dresser and stays crouched there a second too long, lining the cardboard up with the baseboard and taking his time about it.
My side of the closet is still half empty behind him.
He has been careful with me all afternoon, quiet about it, ready for me to change my mind if he reaches too fast.
I take his shirt in both hands before he can stand up all the way and pull him into the kiss myself.
He makes a surprised sound against my mouth. His hands find my waist and stop there, light, still asking. I kiss him anyway, and I keep kissing him until his mouth finally opens and he kisses me back.
He draws back enough to see my face.
“You sure?” His thumbs stay gentle at my hips, holding the question.
I lift my left hand between us so he has to look at the ring. Then I catch his left hand and turn it until his own band is right there too, gold against my palm.
“I came home, Julius.” I put his hand back on my hip and leave it there. “I’m not a guest.”
He swallows. I don’t let him get quiet about it.