Chapter 7
LINDSEY
I sit in the stands next to my sister, and we wildly wave at my excited nephew.
He's smiling ear to ear as he waves back and then tightens his hold on his bat and goes to the plate.
I swear I'm holding my breath as he puts the bat over his shoulder. The pitcher throws the first pitch, and Eli swings. As soon as the crack is heard, my sister and I jump to our feet, cheering.
The ball goes over the shortstop’s head, and Eli runs through the first base.
The crowd is going wild, and you would think this is a professional baseball game instead of some seven-year-olds just learning the game.
Eli waves at us as he bounces up and down on the bag.
We're giving him thumbs up and throwing our arms in the air, being way too loud and obnoxious.
Once we sit down, Tammy lifts her sunglasses and looks at me. “Spill it. What's wrong?"
I avoid her knowing gaze. "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine. I’m cheering. I’m happy. I mean, look at that face. How can anyone watch that and not be happy?"
She keeps staring at me. “Don’t try to change the subject. I'm your sister. You can't lie to me."
I look out onto the field. “Fine. I don't wanna talk about it then."
She finally puts her glasses back on and focuses on her son. “He's not Roger."
I gasp. "Eli is nothing like Roger. He has the biggest heart. There’s no similarity."
Tammy turns to me. “I meant Miller. He's nothing like my ex."
I blurt out. ''You don't even know Miller. He may be exactly like your ex-husband."
She clasps her hands together and speaks low. “My ex-husband is serving time in prison for murder, drugs, and several other things. I think it's safe to say that Miller is nothing like that."
I shrug. "We don't even know him." But even saying that, I know it’s not true. I know Miller is not Roger. Roger was manipulative, overbearing, and ruthless.
She laughs, and a few people around us turn to look. She ignores them.
"Are we talking about the same man that coordinated with me to have all four tires on your truck replaced?
Or the same guy that calls me at least twice a week to see if you're okay or if you need anything?
" She throws her hands up. “He had his brother that plays professional baseball video-call Eli to give him a few pointers.
Even promised to come and give him a few lessons.
" She sighs softly. “Linds... you should give him another chance. "
The next player strikes out, and Eli claps his hands together. "It's okay, Max. You'll get them next time."
My heart expands with pride. He really is nothing like his father. I look around the stands. "Where are the Davenports? I figured they would be here today."
I usually avoid even talking about Eli’s paternal grandparents, but I'm desperate to change the topic from Miller.
Tammy gives me the look, letting me know that she knows what I'm doing. "Uh, well, the Davenports are not very happy with me right now. They wanted Eli to play tennis or something over at the country club instead of baseball."
I roll my eyes."Fuck them."
My sister blurts out a laugh, and her eyebrows raise in surprise. “Lindsey!"
I shrug. “What? I'm just saying out loud what you're thinking."
Tammy laughs. “Yeah, but I'm the one that usually says it. I like this side of you, sis."
I point at Eli as he runs the bases. Cheering, I elbow Tammy. “I mean, look at him. Look how happy he is. If they can't see he loves baseball, then they don't need to be here."
Eli looks up at us as he crosses the plate, and Tammy and I go crazy.
When we sit back down, Tammy leans over to me. “Sis, it's been almost two months since your date. If you really want to end things with him, you need to tell him because whatever this is, he’s not getting the message.”
When I don’t say anything, she leans toward me. “If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”
I turn toward her so quickly it’s like I get whiplash. “Forget it, Tammy. Don’t you dare.”
She shrugs. “I’m just saying. A woman would have to be crazy to turn all that down.”
There’s no hiding the truth. “He’s going to break my heart, sis.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t know that.”
I shrug and avoid her knowing gaze. “Well, I’m not willing to chance it.”
Guilt keeps eating at me. I know Tammy is right. I need to end things with Miller. I have him blocked on my phone, but he still finds ways to reach me. He sends coffee, flowers, and even showed up indirectly last week when his driver, Mike, helped load my gear after a photo shoot.
I should have stopped this a long time ago, but I don’t trust myself. It wouldn’t take much for me to give in to his attention. It’s been months, and he still seems interested. I very much want to give in to him, but I also know that by avoiding him, I’m avoiding heartbreak.
I blow out a breath. “I’ll talk to Miller this week.”
Tammy gives me a sad smile. “You deserve happiness, sis.”
I turn to her. “So do you. Maybe it’s time you started dating again.”
She blurts out a laugh. “Can you imagine? The Davenports would have a field day with that. They already think I’m an unfit mother. If I started dating, they would make my life hell.”
I want to argue with her, to insist it isn’t fair, but deep down, I know she’s right. Eli’s grandparents would never accept another man in his life. They would try to take him from Tammy again, and there’s no way she would risk that.
I slip my arm through my sister’s and rest my head on her shoulder. “We’ll stay single together.”
“Grow old,” Tammy adds.
“With cats,” I say.
She laughs. “Neither of us even has a cat, and they’re not allowed in the building.”
I shrug. “One day we’ll live somewhere that allows them, and we’ll have at least three.”
She leans into me. “Just because I have to stay single doesn’t mean you do.”
I shrug again. “It’s safer this way.”
Tammy is still beside me. I mean my heart, the way it stays intact when I keep my distance. For her, it means something else entirely. Something heavier. Something she barely escaped. “I love you, sis,” I whisper.
She sighs, and I can hear the contentment in her voice. “I love you, too.”