14. Kayla
Elio led her into a bright living room, the windows open and the light chiffon curtains fluttering in the sea breeze. The last time she’d been here felt like a lifetime ago. She’d seen the place when it was dark and storming, not really taking in her surroundings all that much, considering she had been there to do a job and then had overstayed her welcome. But now she could take in the bright rooms, the marble floors and priceless artwork hanging everywhere in all its glory. Considering what she had come here to tell Elio, the grandeur of the place just made everything feel even more overwhelming. The feeling that had her running back to America in the first place, the feeling of being entirely alien in this world of private islands and luxury, was now coming back over her in full force. If she hadn’t been feeling sick already, then there was no hope for her now.
But Elio’s willingness to help her must be a good sign though, right? He’d had her arm looped through his for the entire walk down the dock and through the front door, and now he motioned to a plush brocade settee sitting underneath a window. Elio’s face was grim, his back straight as a ruler as he moved about and sat down next to her, his eyes so obviously wanting to look at her pregnant belly for more than a second at a time. However, he kept them firmly on her face with all of the discipline and poise of a trained businessman while Kayla’s hands hovered over her belly like self-conscious butterflies. She’d never experienced a silence quite so heavy as this one, but she was here now, and the only way out was through. She wasn’t going to waste the money her mom had so generously given her by getting back on the plane without doing what she’d come here to do. Even if, right now, eating a cheese grater piece by piece seemed more appealing.
“So,” Kayla said, desperately trying to swallow away the lump in her throat. “Um, I may as well just say what I came here to tell you, I suppose. You know, just spit it out. Rip the Band-Aid off, so to speak.”
Elio didn’t respond. He hadn’t said anything at all since they’d come inside and just stared at her with those bright blue eyes of his. Kayla swallowed one last time and, feeling like she was about to leap off of a cliff face, started talking.
“So, I’m pregnant,” she said, trying to sound as confident as possible. “That’s fairly obvious. And I tried to call you, I did. But then I realized why you wouldn’t be accepting calls from the States, because of the lawsuit, so I didn’t even bother trying anymore with that. The same with sending a letter… I couldn’t find an email address that didn’t just bounce back an automated message, so that was out.”
Elio remained silent and perfectly still. He wasn’t shouting, that was good. It had to be good. So Kayla continued on as if everything was, in fact, just fine.
“Um, but back to the beginning a little bit. I went ahead and quit my job as soon as I got back home. I actually started culinary school, like you suggested, which has been great, and then working as a server on the side. Then I found out about the baby.”
Again she paused, looking for any sort of reaction from him, even the smallest flicker, but found none. No shouting was good, right? This was going fine, even though part of her was starting to doubt that.
“So,” she continued. “That changed my plans a little bit. Well, a lot, actually, but that’s fine. Um, and then I tried to get ahold of you to tell you because it’s yours, by the way. I think maybe you’re smart enough to have figured that much out already.”
Again, Elio said nothing. Kayla was starting to wonder if it really would feel better to be yelled at.
“Like we can definitely get a paternity test, I totally understand?—”
“No,” he interrupted. “I mean, yes, we probably should, we will. But it’s not because I don’t believe you. Just to be thorough, you know.”
Kayla felt herself sag against the chair in relief. So he did believe her. It had felt like the whole room had been spinning, but now it stilled again, his voice finally cracking through the oppressive silence that had been hanging over her.
“Yeah, that’s completely fair,” she said, still rambling. “I totally understand. I mean, you’ve been through enough legal headaches thanks to me, right?”
The joke fell flat and Kayla smothered her tentative grin because Elio wasn’t smiling at all. At this point she really did wish that he’d at least start yelling, start acting crazy, anything at all. But instead, he was still and silent.
But she was starting to think it wasn’t good. Kayla hadn’t realized just how much she’d been needing to hear him say that it was all okay. She didn’t expect a shower of rose petals and a confetti cannon, but she had thought he would at least say something. So maybe she had been wrong about him all along, making up some fantasy in her head about a guy she barely knew, because the blank stare he was giving her was the opposite of it’s okay.
“So…” she prodded, feeling desperate now, more desperate than she had since she’d found out she was pregnant. “How are you feeling?”
At least Elio unfroze when she asked him that. His eyes darted to her stomach, properly looking for the first time, taking her in. He licked his lips, a hand fidgeting by his side, but still, he said nothing.
“I don’t blame you for feeling however you feel, you know,” said Kayla, feeling like she was desperately reaching for a safety rope that wasn’t there. “I just wanted to tell you, you know. Keeping it all a secret felt kind of… wrong, I guess. So whatever you think about the whole thing, good or bad, it’s fine. Though I’d prefer good, not going to lie.”
Her final attempt at something that even resembled a joke fell just as flat as before, and this time, Kayla didn’t even have the strength to try and fake a smile. And Elio’s expression still hadn’t changed at all.
“Well,” he said in a flat tone, like some sort of recording. “I’m just going to… If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back in a moment. If you need anything, well… You know where the kitchen is, so…”
He trailed off as he stood, and avoiding all eye contact, he left the living room with a brisk stride as if he was off to a business meeting.
Kayla wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling right that second. It was a sort of numbness that she’d never experienced before, like watching a violent movie scene on the TV with the sound turned off. Except you weren’t supposed to feel anything when you were numb, and this hurt. She sat alone in the living room, any grain of optimism that she’d had snuffed out like a candle in the wind.